Successful men. What are you looking for in a relationship?

wtknight · 2025-12-03T14:37:29+00:00

Removed. No internal questions (men asking men or women asking women).

Flying_Fortress_8743 · 2025-12-03T09:47:06+00:00

I'm not looking for a partner, does that count?

I suppose if I had to pick, I'd want someone who can contribute financially - not at the same level as me per se but someone who is financially adding to the household instead of being another person to split my income with. So for example, I make over $200k, I'd be looking for a partner who makes around $100k and up. EDIT: I'm fine if she makes as much or more than me, I've just got a lower bound.

I have no interest in children, so I'd want a partner on the same wavelength. Being a high earning DINK household is playing on easy mode nowadays.

I'd want a partner who understands that I work VERY long hours. For example, if she wants a clean and tidy and picturesque home, that's fine, but I don't have the time or energy or inclination to contribute. I'll hire a housekeeper but I don't want her complaining that I haven't dusted the ceiling fans or mowed the lawn.

I'd ABSOLUTELY want a prenup, and I'd insist that she has her own separate savings, for her sake if things go bad.

I don't care about keeping up with the Joneses. I drive a 10 year old car with 170k miles on it. I won't be paying for fancy clothes or jewelry or anything. I'm not a sugar daddy.

I'm guessing you're just asking about the financial aspect, not what I'd personally like in a partner for personality, looks, etc.

Creation_Soul · 2025-12-03T10:20:17+00:00

i will give you a slightly different perspective. I met my wife while we were both in college so we were both your average broke student. But we both work in IT and we make very good money for where we live. We may not work 80 hours/week, but we do spend 8-10 hours/day actually working.

So what kept the relationship going is that we had similar objectives and spending habits. It was not like one wanted to save for a house and the other wanted to have a trip to another country each month or the newest smartphone every year. We are also compatible in how we split chores around the house: i like cooking but hate cleaning and my wife is the other way around.

Sure we have enough money to hire someone to come clean the house for us, but we got into the routine of doing it ourselves and it doesn't bother us that much.

If some tragedy were to strike and I would have to find a new partner, I guess I would want someone with a good income. I came to appreciate and enjoy the level of financial confort that two good incomes bring. Compatibility is something that is much harder to objectively quantify, but the relationship with my wife set a high bar.

Gravel_Roads · 2025-12-03T12:01:01+00:00

Being successful means I’m not looking anymore.

What I DID look for:

A partner who likes me, likes my opinions, likes hearing how I solve problems and who in turn is interesting and can keep my attention and who can teach me new things in turn , not just be a dead weight trying to hitch their wagon to my star.

I had a few LTR’s before my current one, and they met this criteria, but even then not all of them lasted because other things got in the way.

My current partner is forever tho. We’ve known each other for over 25 years and still get excited to see each other.

PITFALLS TO AVOID:

I had to learn to hold back! I grew up with very little, so I used to throw myself into relationships because it was the first feelings or real “love” I had experienced. So I worked too hard and gave too much, and I didn’t let any equilibrium into the relationship.

With age, I learned it’s nice to both give and take. To be generous, but then to also relax and receive generosity as well.

It required 1.) learning to have faith that I’m not solely responsible for keeping the relationship together and 2.) I have a partner that’s as dedicated as I am to keeping the relationship together.

And I’m very grateful to have found my someone.

ranorando · 2025-12-03T13:42:05+00:00

I’m successful but dead inside so… nothing

Fan_Service_3703 · 2025-12-03T09:53:48+00:00

Financially self-sufficient and working in a lucrative field.

Sexually dominant.

I don't care about whether she's naturally good looking in terms of face/body, but preferably someone who is stylish and makes an effort with clothing and makeup, and has a distinctive and creative personal style.

Not religious or traditional.

Preferably someone who has unique skills that I don't have.

Not racist, sexist (either misogynistic or misandric), homophobic or transphobic.

I don't need (or want) someone with a perfect gym body. Anything is fine so long as she's not dangerously over/underweight.

No right wing views.

Highly prefer a woman who doesn't shave, and is secure enough in her femininity to not feel like this makes her 'ugly'.

Fortunately my GF meets most of these.

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autistic_cool_kid · 2025-12-03T11:27:51+00:00

I want the same thing as what I am, so I seek extremely attractive, smart, fun, generous and kind slutty childfree strong independent women.

I'm not really looking for anything serious now however, I already have two full time partnerships and more casual relationships on the side. Haven't been on a dating app for 4 months.

CelicnisGhost · 2025-12-03T13:32:43+00:00

Own my company, buying an apartment at 27 with cash. Very fit, look (head) okay.

Not looking for anything right now since I'm in a happy relationship but my criteria would be:

Hot
Bearable personality
Virgin
Good relationship with family
No traumas
Not jealous
Willing to be a traditional SAH wife

These are mandatory, there can be other requirements, but stuff can make up for those. Like sure I'd love her to have the same interests as me, and if her dad is a multimillionare that's great, but that's just a bonus.

_hephaestus · 2025-12-03T14:31:35+00:00

Not looking at the moment and I’m not exec-level successful/expect there to be a lot of diverging preferences here, but here’s my thought process:

Full-time homemaker is a no-go. Not thinking about the financial vulnerability of it not working out, but the idea of being totally financially responsible for someone described as my Partner doesn’t set well with me. I don’t value homemaker contributions highly, so this feels like a recipe for long term resentment.

I don’t mind if they make less (or more), but I need my partner to have a career they’re interested in as a means of relating to them. Honestly I see why people recommend staying away from ambitious women as the possibility either of us will get offers that require moving across the country gives me anxiety, but ambition is what I’m attracted to. It makes it easier to relate to them and feel like we’re going into this as equals.

I’m generally opposed to transaction-based relationships fwiw, I feel awkward getting approached by sales people in department stores, have hated my singular strip club experience. I know a decent chunk of successful men are opposite of me on this though and feel like if you’re willing to entertain those connections you’re probably less squicked about a partner depending on you completely for their livelihood.

Barely-moral · 2025-12-03T09:59:16+00:00

First thing: define success in an international forum.

I earn enough to pay for myself, my partner, two kids if I wanted to have them and to pay for chores to be done by a third party while keeping a comfortable, safe and reliable lifestyle.

I would never marry anyone that was not already dating me before I became successful. So no marriage for me. The only one that deserves the legal right to take half of everything I have and half of everything I will ever make is one that helps to build it.

The only aspect of my life a woman can improve is my time at home outside working hours. She can only do so with her company, any money she brings is useless. I would be happy with minimum wage, all the extra money is just a lure to get a relationship.

I want a homemaker and that would be her full time job. If she has any other priorities then I am not interested in her. Any other problem in her life is something I will take care of.

Thinking about it for a while, there is a way a woman would be able to convince me to marry her even if she was not there from the beginning, but I don't consider it realistic. Women don't love adult men in the way men love women so chances are no woman will meet the requirement.

ConstipatedAvocado · 2025-12-03T12:12:18+00:00

It depends on how you define success.

I am 6ft4, earn 250k and probably in the 99.999th percentile in physical fitness. TBH I'm already married and have been in a relationship for a very long time.

What I was looking for when I was single was someone feminine, tall, with big hips and who was chaste and came from a good parent home (I was very promiscuous tho). It wasnt that hard to find in 2017 when we got together though now may be a different story. Thing is tho, I'm...hot. If I'm being perfectly honest, I'm a male headturner. There is a uk relationship forum on here now and I see so many guys complaining about reaching 30 and having not held hands with a woman let alone been on a date. They often claim they have good careers too...dudes need to understand this is 2025, not 1975, women can make their own way and u need to be actually desirable if you want to be taken seriously these days.

For example, do you worry about marrying someone who wants to be a full-time homemaker because of the financial vulnerability it could create for you if the relationship breaks down? And on the other side, do you steer away from highly career-focused women because you feel they’ll have limited time and energy for a relationship — and because, realistically, the money they earn doesn’t materially change your household income anyway?

TBH I want my wife to eventually be a full time homemaker when we have kids. However, she's very well educated and has created a decent career for herself as a business analyst. I wouldnt steer clear from career focused women because often I have found that career focused women actually make for better partners anyway. Stats show that too with the single rate among women being lower in more prestigious careers and the divorce rate being lower among college educated women. Whether gorgeous or otherwise, one of the first things I think a lot of career/educated women learn is that looks fade and unless you build some kind of marketable skillset or expertise then you're on a road to nowhere. Redpillers are the last people to listen to in this regard (most are working class, uneducated losers following equally loser influencers...either perpetually single dorks like Rollo Tomassi, clowns like Andrew Wilson who wife up single mothers or losers like Myron who lose their partners to "rollerskating immigrants"), often times the least enviable women are those who have forgone any sense of educational/professional independence in lieu of a man they expect to take care of them or those women in their 30s/40s still bartering on their looks through things like sex work/onlyfans.

The idea that career focused women makes a lesser partner is high key pathetic. Its often a sign one is beta male afraid of a woman who has the choice not entertain ones loserdom. If anything, at least if we're talking about promiscuity, I've actually found greater correlation between extreme promiscuity and not being particularly career focused. When I was in the kink/swinging scene, most of the single or partnered women were, at best, nurses but often working in dead end careers/sex work or lesser educated housewives entertaining the fetishes of a bored (but well earning) husband. Hence why the "hotwife, not so hot husband" is such a common phenomena in that realm.

Pretty much all my wifes friends are either married or taken, they all have respectable careers.

Live_Guidance7199 · 2025-12-03T10:04:19+00:00

I'm good, but if I was looking to settle down - peace. And it's the same answer as when I was poor.

I have routines, I have habits, I have hobbies, I value quiet, and I am VERY happy with my life. Your mission is simply to not fuck that up and then you are welcome to join in the regular adventures around the quiet times.

And I've found that 99% of women are incapable of completing that mission. Like some internal trigger goes off when a woman sees a man being content; they must destroy that peace.

James_M_Croft · 2025-12-03T12:41:05+00:00

I want a partner who is less of a problem in general, trad or career women don't matter.

It may be my age talking, but I am not looking for a beauty or a woman who is entirely dedicated to me and sex is not that important anymore either, If I am to marry I wanna marry someone who just won't make me dread going back home like so many people out there.

So yeah, I am mostly going for a trad woman. The quieter and meeker the better. I already earn enough to be a sole breadwinner, yes, yes, more money would be good, but not really that important. But I am already tired and stressed thanks to the career woman with mental illnesses, crazy ideas, exhaustion and stress, why would I ever want to bring one of those to my house? I know some chill career women, but they are usually entitled nepobabies who are another headache to deal with.

I just want to get home and enjoy peace.

Maybe a dog is the best option in the end.

Title	Successful men. What are you looking for in a relationship?
Author	firetrap2
Upvotes	1
Comments	50
Date	December 3, 2025 9:32 AM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1pczte1/successful_men_what_are_you_looking_for_in_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/successful-men-what-are-you-looking-for-in-a.1567960 https://theredarchive.com/post/1567960

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