Communication With Ex

NewPerformance7662 · 2026-02-13T02:07:56+00:00

What does taking a shit have to do with anything. Also, I’m no expert but a 99 temp is not a fever. You don’t control what goes on there and they don’t control what happens in your home. Ain’t nobody got time for drama. Documenting everything will save you in the long run. If the discussion doesn’t have anything to do with children then there’s nothing to discuss. You pay way too much attention to her and her antics. She wants a reaction and she’s getting one 😐

eratosthenes777 · 2026-02-09T21:39:03+00:00

If it. Is 5050 don't worry about it she cannot tell you what to do on your parenting time.

ObjectiveSalt1635 · 2026-02-09T13:44:24+00:00

Document it. Do nothing. When you have five or so of them take them to your lawyer and have them write a letter about parental alienation to your wife or her lawyer. Say nothing about anything ever.

EnvironmentalRate853 · 2026-02-09T09:22:14+00:00

Your best move is to stop taking shits.

Maybe chat to your lad - that you and mother will have different parenting styles and that you will always do right by him.

North-Permit-1021 · 2026-02-09T06:38:20+00:00

That sounds disorienting — especially when things shift without explanation.

Immediate-Story2562 · 2026-02-08T23:53:44+00:00

When he is with you, he is your responsibility. You call the shots, whether she likes it or not.
When he is with her, then its the other way around.
Set some boundaries with her in this regard and stick to it.

serkovavantgarden · 2026-02-08T16:53:14+00:00

Of course she’s trying to influence him

They don’t even know they’re doing it half the time. It’s an inbuilt mechanism

My wee girl is constantly telling me what her mum is saying.

I laugh it off however I’m not going to lie, sometimes it gets under my skin.

We’re only human, mate

Cool heads prevail.

Pick your battles

dday_throwaway3 · 2026-02-08T16:24:44+00:00

You can't control her behavior. You can only control your reaction to her behavior. How much is rent inside your head? Because you're still renting headspace to your ex. It's time to evict her.

You don't ever have to inform the other parent you aren't taking your child to an extracurricular activity. It's right there in the name: Extra. Nothing trumps parenting time. So your son could have been 100% healthy and you could have chosen not to take him.

MinuteStatistician83 · 2026-02-08T16:17:34+00:00

Yeah, this kind of thing messes with your head more than the big obvious stuff. Because on the surface it’s ‘not that bad’, but it leaves you feeling quietly undermined.

From what you’ve written, I’d be careful about deciding that every situation is alienation. Not because you’re wrong to notice it, but because that line of thinking can spiral and put you on edge with your kid in a way he doesn’t need. At the same time, you’re not crazy for clocking the tone. Comments like that do carry an implication, even if it’s subtle or unconscious.

In my experience, a lot of this isn’t a calculated attempt to turn a child. It’s the other parent soothing their own discomfort or guilt by positioning themselves as the ‘better’ or ‘safer’ option in the moment. That doesn’t make it fair, but it changes how much power you give it.

The thing that actually protects you here isn’t correcting it or reacting to it. It’s your consistency. You took his temperature. You fed him. You cared for him. He knows that. Kids are a lot better at holding two versions of a parent than we give them credit for.

One thing I’d gently watch is keeping him out of the middle as much as you can. Letting him manage messages about health puts him in a role he didn’t ask for. Not a huge deal in isolation, but those things add up for kids.

You don’t overcome this by countering her narrative. You overcome it by being boringly steady and not making him choose emotionally. Over time, that steadiness speaks louder than little comments.

It’s frustrating, yeah. But it’s also the kind of thing that matters less to your son than it feels like it does to you right now. He’s watching how safe he feels with you, not who wins the subtext.

fruittidemare · 2026-02-08T15:17:10+00:00

Yeah best thing that multiple people told me is that kids do see who their parents are. So as long as you are being the man you want your son to know , everything else will sort itself.

RiseNo3399 · 2026-02-08T14:52:41+00:00

Just be the man you want your son to know. The rest will play out. They’ll see through it most of the time.

Title	Communication With Ex
Author	Feisty_Elderberry_96
Upvotes	6
Comments	15
Date	February 8, 2026 2:47 PM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1qzari1/communication_with_ex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/communication-with-ex.1573009 https://theredarchive.com/post/1573009