I’m Slipping: Getting Myself into Therapy

Environmental_Art760 · 2026-02-22T16:34:04+00:00

In my case, I got great advice early-I pretty much all our credit accounts are in my name, but she has a card for each with her name on them. I reported our cards lost and got new ones - I just shredded the ones in her name. I paid off the balances and she couldn’t rack up anything on me in separation. When she went into her whore phase, she was limited to the one account in her own name. I lost half our home equity and savings, but without any real debt it made rebounding much easier. We split custody of our teenage daughter and I still pay for everything she needs or does, but I’d do that gladly anyway. Our daughter is taking all this well, but does notice her mother changed while I’m the stable one. I do ruminate occasionally about what I thought my life would be like without divorce, but more and more the reality creeps back and I feel lucky. I can see being friends with her again someday but that old spark is gone now. I think she misses the stability and possibly she did this to herself, but I’ll never go back. I’m also in counseling and learning how to feel good about myself outside of the marriage. Counseling is very real and important. Sometimes, you can’t rely on friends and family, they either want to see us back together or they’re biased with opinions one way or another. It’s sad that I had to pay for good advice.

JayRock1970 · 2026-02-20T04:49:49+00:00

I'm almost 9 months out too. Just signed separation papers and paid her out for the house today.

She asked me for ethical non-manogamy 6 weeks after our honeymoon. When I said no, she told me she was leaving the next day. Left and completely ghosted me for 3 months. This was the woman I bought a house for and married because she wanted to feel safe, just 11 months prior. Just insanity.

I'm also still going through.cycles of suck. It's just so difficulty to come to terms with it all. Doing all the right things, but damn its a mind f'k I'll tell ya.

Some women are just so damn selfish and self absorbed. They do not give a damn the moment the honeymoon wears off and real life kicks in a lottle bit. You can do everything for them at that point and it's never enough and wears you down at the same time.

Syloi · 2026-02-20T02:22:57+00:00

I was also blindsided. I now have a 5 bedroom house by myself with almost no furniture and only one of the three dogs. The thing I struggle with is why she wasn’t willing to fight for what we had. Like, was I just not worth it?

The second she thought about divorce she did it. Left the house as soon as she could. Everything had been amicable. The bonus she gets in March is being split because it’s money she earned while we were together.

But man, I was willing to do anything and everything for her. She was willing to leave without trying to fix whatever was wrong…yes she still hasn’t told me why she left. I asked her to do consuling and she wouldn’t. She would only say it was an erosion over time (whatever the fuck that is supposed to mean). When I met her she was a small chubby girl with the will of a lion, working a job that didn’t pay much.

She found a new job making almost as much as me at 230k a year. She got her boobs done, had some liposuction, was on ozempic and got down to 130 pounds. She’s always been a looker. She thrives on attention and I think that’s why she wants to be single again…. Idk man. I felt like my life is ruined. When I looked on Tinder it lasted two days. All the obese, tatted women who are single moms with nose rings just made me want to puke (this is in Seattle area btw).

I can say it will get better. Reach out to friends even if it’s just to sit in silence with them. I’m still struggling since it’s so new but I know what I need to do. I just haven’t been willing to do it yet.

MrsManglesBangles · 2026-02-19T20:48:19+00:00

Similar story here... I treated myself to some nice speakers, sub and amp and found it helps fill the void when the house feels too quiet.

That and picking up surfing, yoga, volunteering gets me out of the house, as well as reconnecting with friends.

koskesh122 · 2026-02-19T15:50:27+00:00

Well bud, join the club.

50% of all marriages end in divorce. 2nd marriages have 60% divorce rate and 3rd marriages 70% divorce rate.
90% of all divorces initiated by the women.
- Child support, Alimony, your pension + retirement savings, government support + housing incentivizes them leaving you.
90% of custody awarded to mothers.
False allegations of abuse are prevalent in family courts.
- You will be called abusive in order to stress you out so you give in to their unjust demands.

What to do now?

Settle your case ASAP.
- The leeches (Judges, Lawyers, Therapists, Legal system will want to bleed you dry by leveraging your kids against you) The system gets paid by you fighting for you children.
Find a hobby.
Focus on your career/start a side hustle/Make more money.
Hit the gym daily.
Stay away from SINGLE moms at ALL costs and anyone who claims their ex was abusive. Do NOT raise another man’s child. You may end up being on the hook financially (Child support) for their kid if you leave.
Travel once a year.
Read books like No More Mr. nice guy or “The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi”
Open up the New Testament and start reading daily + listen to Charles Stanley on YouTube.
- Learn to forgive your ex. This will set you emotionally and mentally free so you can begin enjoying life once again.

upvotersfortruth · 2026-02-19T13:54:31+00:00

Ruminating: start a journal of your thoughts - that’ll slow down or stop real quick

Self doubt: good therapy work

Spells of sadness: good therapy work

All else - you’re doing fantastic and you got us

MonkeyBranchBuster · 2026-02-19T11:25:09+00:00

The best therapy is banging a new woman. The ex you have no kids with will become completely irrelevant. I have 2 with mine and see her 3x a week and barely remember she exists.

Last year she told me to hurt me how she barely ever thinks about me (she had an affair that ended our marriage), I now understand how she felt, as I feel the same about her.

maturin_nj · 2026-02-19T07:10:46+00:00

You know what you're doing. Great job on no contact, blocking, doing your own thing. Never let her back. She wants you as a continued support system. That's how they think. Life is ducking hard. Accept it.

You're handling it great. Stay on that path.

BathAutomatic6972 · 2026-02-19T06:16:46+00:00

I can assist with the rumination. Or at least give you some advice about it. I also have terrible rumination. It requires you to recognize that you’re ruminating, which is often difficult. So when you get into those loops pause and notice what you your body is feeling first where you are at physically and what triggered you to put you into this mindset. For me who is usually on my long run runs when all I had was a low-grade suffering and to be in my own head sometimes it would be in traffic. Put your hand to your heart recognize that your body is trying to help you be safe and say I am in a *** whatever the rumination is*** loop. Certain naming those loops I am in an ex-wife loop. I am in an argument loop. I am in a boss loop. Don’t try and punish yourself for being in their loop. Don’t try and do anything other than recognize where you are at what you were doing and what you are feeling when you do that it will begin to dissipate and thank your body for trying to protect you because that’s what it’s trying to do.

TheConjugalVisit · 2026-02-19T03:55:13+00:00

Almost my exact story.

Hardest part is still loving the woman and feeling loyal to her. So I feel stuck.

myotherjobisreddit · 2026-02-19T03:46:54+00:00

You’re doing better than me, and probably most guys out there in similar situations.

Recognizing you have issues to work through, and taking steps to actively manage the pain is already something you’re doing. Therapy is helpful to process the feelings and emotions, it’s not a failure, it’s just another step in the right direction.

Title	I’m Slipping: Getting Myself into Therapy
Author	tonyway7293
Upvotes	9
Comments	21
Date	February 19, 2026 3:31 AM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1r8ofr4/im_slipping_getting_myself_into_therapy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/im-slipping-getting-myself-into-therapy.1573793 https://theredarchive.com/post/1573793

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