How long did you do therapy?

smartalec-71 · 2026-03-10T07:55:37+00:00

TL;DR-- With the right therapist... it's worth it.

The first therapist I had would simply listen and reflect, wasn't useful.

The second one did that... but then give a few comments that would hit me like a sledgehammer, possibly saving me months. She gave me enough for me to realize that the faster I got out of my marriage, the less I'd damage my heath by staying.

I did therapy for a year (fortnightly) before I didn't feel like it was adding value. I'd moved out, and the stress had passed.

ExtraLettuce555 · 2026-03-10T06:25:53+00:00

I went for three sessions with two therapists. The first one was useless, the second one gave me a little bit of insight but we had no goal which made the session unhelpful. I haven’t been since. Friends and family have been incredibly helpful.

corbillardier · 2026-03-09T15:08:24+00:00

If you're only getting venting from your therapy and that's not what you're looking for try a different therapist. They are all different, different styles, different methods, different experience. There's going to be one out there that fits what you're looking for

Phoenix_Taurus · 2026-03-09T13:10:54+00:00

If you’ve had a dead bedroom for a long time and haven’t been intimate, and you’ve basically been living like roommates since your son was born, I’m not trying to jump straight to the usual Reddit conclusion...

but it might be worth making sure the child is definitely yours. I hate to give the typical Reddit response, but if there hasn’t been intimacy for that long and the relationship has felt more like roommates than partners, it may be something you should confirm. Not trying to assume the worst, just saying that given the situation, you might want to be certain the kid is actually yours.

Tvelt17 · 2026-03-09T13:10:24+00:00

I went for about 5 or 6 months. If you're not getting anything out of it, I think its fine to stop or switch therapists.

DontEnjoyBoats · 2026-03-09T11:10:07+00:00

If you find the right therapist, you'll know it's worth it. You also need to hold yourself accountable to do the homework and put in place the practices that they recommend.

It may also be that right now they're trying to simply support you through this very early intensive change by giving you a safe space to vent.

TeddyPSmith · 2026-03-09T09:00:00+00:00

I think you have to find the right modality and the right therapist for it to work. Try finding another one if you can. Also “talk therapy” isn’t a good long term solution in my opinion

According-Designer15 · 2026-03-09T04:03:37+00:00

documenting every incident going forward, and never letting her isolate you from your child again because what she's doing is abuse and parental alienation disguised as anger, and your child is learning that this is what relationships look like unless you stop it now

kepler22Bnecromancer · 2026-03-09T03:36:51+00:00

I went to about 2 or 3 sessions and realized it wasn't for me. To each his own.

Expensive_Sock_9902 · 2026-03-09T02:46:11+00:00

6 months, got in as soon as she left basically. Stopped going recently for the same reason, once I got through the emotional turmoil and runination and was stable it just felt like an expensive vent. It did help though, she planted some ideas early on that took months to actually accept

fiddsy · 2026-03-09T01:32:31+00:00

Depends on the therapist and depends on style.

Its like finding a good trades person. Most of them can do the job but some are going to do it better, faster, etc.

I think it can take awhile to find the right fit. I know for me personally, I wanted someone a bit more practical - sometimes a session is a vent to help me unload and sort out my thoughts and other times its more practical or getting my thoughts guided and teaching skills - giving me clarity but also techniques.

Its helped me. After seeing a couple different couples counsellors/therapists - I understand the importance of not wasting or staying with one who's not the right fit. So I had a rule that if after 2-3 sessions, if I didn't find it was 'meshing', id find another.

Quite happy with who im seeing. First session, didnt really like them, found the person a bit awkward but second session went better and 3rd session was good. That was about 8 or so months ago and I now go every 3 weeks and will most likely drop to monthly in a few more months.

So maybe try someone else or perhaps tell your current one (if you like them) that you want to pivot to a more practical approach?

Ok-Anything-3605 · 2026-03-09T01:07:25+00:00

You describe the typical ‘talk therapy’. I tried, it wasn’t for me. I’m working with a hypnotherapist now and he’s more into teaching coping skills. therapy helps, but divorce is more than just that, there needs to be a few different avenues to help you heal. It’s awful and no quick and easy solution. Good luck,I wish you well

reclaimDad · 2026-03-09T00:58:22+00:00

I'm so sorry that you're dealing with that brother. I recommend finding either local or online communities of people who've been through similar things as you have. This place seems like one of those. I think by communicating, you're already doing better than many, despite what it sounds like you're feeling!

While you're figuring out your support/therapy needs, have you explored your hobbies. Maybe even those prior to your relationship?

Title	How long did you do therapy?
Author	BloodstainedBearRug
Upvotes	11
Comments	15
Date	March 9, 2026 12:51 AM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1rolx4z/how_long_did_you_do_therapy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-long-did-you-do-therapy.1575035 https://theredarchive.com/post/1575035

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