People will claim “Just be yourself” doesnt work and then get upset when theyre encouraged to change.

brentifil · 2026-07-03T12:26:45+00:00

Most women dont want agreeable men. Your personality doesn't have to change its behavior. Serving off in your mom's basement is not the lure people seem to think it is.

RobertPallor · 2026-07-03T17:51:54+00:00

The idea that the average man can get more female attention by being more agreeable is laughable.

Eblademonk · 2026-07-03T12:54:02+00:00

I am of the opinion that everyone is worthy of love, and that to change oneself is to confirm that the version of you which exists presently is unlovable.

There's a difference, in my experience, between changing oneself to be better and happier, and changing yourself to become loveable.

gtbreddit1 · 2026-07-03T11:54:52+00:00

They are not mutually exclusive. It can be simultaneously true that being yourself doesn't work nor would changing yourself in the ways that are possible.

brassbuffalo · 2026-07-03T14:34:52+00:00

First, I think you should say whether or not you think "just be yourself" is valid advice. Your title loosely implies JBY isn't bad advice, while also implying it is bad advice by suggesting a person needs to change.

When a guy humilates himself for a woman's attention, it's typically by acting excessively agreeable. That's what simping is. The idea that they're being disagreeable makes me think you're imaging a rude clown instead of a guy doing whatever he thinks will make one woman happy.

Also, the only reason to use "cunt" in place of "woman" is because you're full of hate, dare I say misognystic. I find it extremely weird you write this vitriolic rant against men, but then take the men's word that these women are evil enough for you to call them cunts.

IgorXY · 2026-07-03T12:53:09+00:00

I'd say 3/4 guys who complain don't get to show their personality. So basically it's like to say "diversify your investments, bro" to a person in poverty. You'd be annoyed too.

BitsAndBobs304 · 2026-07-03T11:42:10+00:00

"Changing your personality" is scifi.

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harmonica2 · 2026-07-03T14:54:01+00:00

I changed and it helped me unless i'm in anomaly and that will not work for most guys?

LillthOfBabylon · 2026-07-03T15:05:29+00:00

For a guy to never had shown off his personality on a dating app means he was leaving his profile completely blank. That’s his fault.

Melodic_Structure928 · 2026-07-03T15:33:03+00:00

if you want a relationship you need to make yourself attractive whether or not that entails being yourself or faking it depends solely on if you already possess attractive attitudes or attributes in the first place.

Basically there are a select number of traits that are attractive and a set number of traits that are nor, if you have them naturally then you'll be attractive if you do not then being yourself will probably repulse whoever your tryna attract.

SmertriosPPD · 2026-07-06T00:23:53+00:00

People don't like to be told "be yourself" when it hasn't worked before nor "be someone else" since it's impossible, crazy isn't it?

Creation_Soul · 2026-07-03T11:21:18+00:00

i am of the opinion that as you get older you cannot really change your personality that much. you can make adjustments to how you behave and your routine/habits, but big and natural personality changes are very rare.

People will claim “Just be yourself” doesnt work and then get upset when theyre encouraged to change.

Comments

So being agreeable, which women have said men should try to be more of.

Go get a definition of agreeable. Your opinion doesn't count.

Where in those definitions does it say agreeable people can't have different opinions?

Look at that! Enjoyable and pleasant. And notice it said willing to agree to something, not willing to agree 24/7.

Incels and Neckbeards. Thats why no one likes them.

Thats the result of your personality.

Title	People will claim “Just be yourself” doesnt work and then get upset when theyre encouraged to change.
Author	LillthOfBabylon
Upvotes	0
Comments	127
Date	July 3, 2026 11:18 AM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1umbp9e/people_will_claim_just_be_yourself_doesnt_work/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/people-will-claim-just-be-yourself-doesnt-work-and.1584162 https://theredarchive.com/post/1584162