How do I accept she’s never coming back?

Aromatic_Goose_7858 · 2026-07-16T23:12:54+00:00

every men in your situation goes through what you're going through, eventually you'll say 'fuck her' and will focus on your future. you cared about her and were loyal, but she was not. the sooner you realize it the better. though it'll take time

Nice_General268 · 2026-07-15T11:35:22+00:00

I’m with you, my marriage was 10 years and she moved out 2 days before our 10th anniversary. The loneliness is real, I am still battling that feeling myself. Plus still being madly in love with her.

Things will get better, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Get out amongst folks, with it being summer there are festivals, and stuff like that. Don’t let her leaving keep you down.

Curious_Will222 · 2026-07-14T05:55:46+00:00

This is hard to answer. I feel for you even if I can’t relate entirely…

Sounds like you might still be romanticizing the relationship, and her as a person.

We don’t always see people as they are, but as we desire them to be. Our disappointment comes from the dissonance between the two.

Also, it’s not true that it meant nothing. It means what you make it mean. That might take time. I’m still figuring out for myself. 2 months divorced. 15 months separated. Our divorce mediation day was the long an greatest day of this journey. Was happy to have that weight lifted. But still trying to make meaning of the past 13 years.

Oddthenticricket · 2026-07-14T03:20:19+00:00

The person you loved is gone. Grieve that person, Grieve that loss. The person you see now is not her. I was married for nearly 12 years, two kids. She asked for a divorce on our 12 year anniversary. I still love the person I married 12 years ago. But she Essentially stopped existing on that day. I see her in the faces of our children. I feel the love we shared through how I show up for my kids. But the woman I planned a life with and wanted to grow old with is gone. I know she would want me to be happy and to move on. I'm not ready to date just yet, but one day I will. I miss our conversations after the kids fell asleep, and our inside jokes. I miss holding her hand and letting her rest her head on my shoulder.

I mourned the wife I had, and the life we planned. None of It was wasted. The time we shared mattered, at least to me.

Just remember, you're not grieving a person, you're grieving a timeline. One that once existed, and one that no longer will.

blackmirrorbr · 2026-07-14T01:46:56+00:00

Eu estou passando a mesma situação. Ela está de relacionamento novo, enquanto eu xupo dedo.
Eu comecei a sair mais de casa, não consigo ficar em casa. Trabalho para ocupar a mente, vou em festas e locais diferentes. Amizades todas diferentes.. acho que somente o tempo para curar tudo isso..

TRMineNotYours · 2026-07-14T01:21:39+00:00

I don’t know. For me it’s been 7 months after 24 years together and she’s already dating. I just want to be able to move on also like she has. One day at a time is what they say

karemlore · 2026-07-13T22:18:10+00:00

Future is past before it has arrived and past no longer exists. You have now.

When you complain, you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation, change the situation, or accept it. All else is madness."

Wooden_Back_7900 · 2026-07-13T21:55:40+00:00

Being told she wasn't romantically interested in me and that she wasn't attracted to me anymore was the worst thing anyone ever said to me. It hurts beyond belief. It's been 18 months and it hurts almost as much as when she first said it. Hang in there my friend and I hope your coping skills are better than mine. Venting on here and seeking professional help and support are also musts for me. I have to believe that that I will fully accept that she isn't coming back. I hope that you believe that sooner rather than later and your sooner comes quicker than mine.

Boliviascott · 2026-07-13T20:46:54+00:00

Don’t chase her, don’t stalk her social media. Each time you check or try to contact her you dig yourself deeper in that black hole. Don’t shut yourself inside and especially don’t start the bottle or pharmaceuticals as it does nothing but drags you down. Know your life will get better, work out, get a shave and haircut at a new barber, buy some new clothes and get out of the house daily. You will get better

MonkeyBranchBuster · 2026-07-13T19:59:22+00:00

The easy way - sleep with other women. The younger and hotter, the better.

mistake-number2 · 2026-07-13T19:47:24+00:00

I had to do the same after a 20yr marriage. It sux royally. What really help me was when she moved out and we went to almost 0 contact. After couple of years, we do better now and im not expecting anything past friendship.

Familiar-Cobbler4567 · 2026-07-13T19:46:09+00:00

You got this! I just beat my ex false allegations in a two day trial stay positive and stoic

PghSubie · 2026-07-13T18:58:06+00:00

The person that you knew and married is now gone. In her place is someone who looks very similar, but is a different person Feel free to mourn for what's gone, but then move on

koskesh122 · 2026-07-13T16:51:35+00:00

Well bud, join the club. 1. 50% of all marriages end in divorce. 2nd marriages have 60% divorce rate and 3rd marriages 70% divorce rate. 2. 90% of all divorces initiated by the women. • Child support, Alimony, your pension + retirement savings, government support + housing incentivizes them leaving you. 3. 90% of custody awarded to mothers. 4. False allegations of abuse are prevalent in family courts. • You will be called abusive in order to stress you out so you give in to their unjust demands.

What to do now?

Settle your case ASAP. • The leeches (Judges, Lawyers, Therapists, Legal system will want to bleed you dry by leveraging your kids against you) The system gets paid by you fighting for you children.
Find a hobby.
Focus on your career/start a side hustle/Make more money.
Hit the gym daily.
Stay away from SINGLE moms at ALL costs and anyone who claims their ex was abusive. Do NOT raise another man’s child. You may end up being on the hook financially (Child support) for their kid if you leave.
Travel once a year.
Read books like No More Mr. nice guy
Open up the New Testament and start reading daily + listen to Charles Stanely on YouTube. • Learn to forgive your ex. This will set you emotionally and mentally free so you can begin enjoying life once again.

Fan_of_Sanity · 2026-07-13T16:48:17+00:00

I would encourage you not to have the mindset that “the last 7 years basically meant nothing.” If anything good came out of that time, then the time meant something for both of you. The relationship’s ending doesn’t negate this.

Ok-Anything-3605 · 2026-07-13T16:35:17+00:00

Sorry for what you’re going through. Same for me, but 12 years and 3 kids to boot. I just accepted she changed into someone else, and that someone else is a person I wouldn’t piss on if she were on fire. Go full gray rock, it wicks for a while, but you’ll recover. I havnt spoken to or seen her in 9 months, bare minimum contact regarding kids only. Keep busy, find new hobbies, take a vacation or long weekend, enjoy the solitude trying to make one less person happy. It sucks. We got this!

Title	How do I accept she’s never coming back?
Author	TheBritshViking
Upvotes	21
Comments	28
Date	July 13, 2026 4:29 PM UTC (2 weeks ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1uvgh6g/how_do_i_accept_shes_never_coming_back/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-do-i-accept-shes-never-coming-back.1584946 https://theredarchive.com/post/1584946

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