Does anyone else get socially awkward or even “depressed” when they haven’t been to the gym in a while?

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January 11, 2019
225 upvotes

I haven’t been able to lift for 4 weeks due to a storm of work from grad school.

When I’ve been on campus these past few weeks, I haven’t really been able to hang out with or talk to people like I can when I was lifting 4 days a week. It’s almost like my ability to not be socially awkward relies on my fitness lol.

DEFINITELY worse around girls too now. I hope I haven’t developed a reliance on fitness to be happy/social, since that’s not true confidence.


Post Information
Title Does anyone else get socially awkward or even “depressed” when they haven’t been to the gym in a while?
Author germancarfan
Upvotes 225
Comments 63
Date 11 January 2019 09:32 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/163614
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/af07zl/does_anyone_else_get_socially_awkward_or_even/
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Comments

[–]minoc_uo128 points129 points  (4 children) | Copy

I literally suffer from depression if I don't excercise

[–]PickleWickleton12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

We are same same! Different, but saaame!

[–]octoberguy2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I am like that too. Can’t stand it.

[–]resnine1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Joe Rogan has said this several times before. I'm certain there is some truth to it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’ve come to find this as well...

[–]MrAgamemnon128 points129 points  (10 children) | Copy

I hope I haven’t developed a reliance on fitness to be happy/social, since that’s not true confidence.

Human beings aren't meant to sit at a desk for a month with zero physical activity.

You need to be physically active.

I haven’t been able to lift for 4 weeks due to a storm of work from grad school.

There are 672 hours in 4 weeks. You couldn't even spare 16 of those to hit the gym?

[–]MardGeer56 points57 points  (4 children) | Copy

Not even the gym, just do push ups and sit ups, get the blood flowing, shouldn't be getting depressed then.

[–]angus9811 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah, I'm stuck at me friends house for two weeks and have been stuck with just body weight fitness due to now gym. Closes one is 30 miles away. Been doing 20 reps of 5 sets of push-ups morning , afternoon and night. Not the best, but I'm maintaining my fitness in some way.

[–]MardGeer4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you're stuck, do 1000 push ups, pull ups, sit ups in the span of the whole day, it sounds like that sucks but it doesn't and it's pretty doable.

[–]BrodinsOats2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You can progress to a harder variant of pushups:

  • Diamond pushups
  • Pseudo-planche pushups
  • Archer pushups
  • Tuck planche pushups
  • Planche pushups

There’s almost certainly a variant with a level of difficulty that would challenge you enough for 5-rep sets of strength training.

[–]downvotesanimals4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've always said that a pullup bar is really all you need.

[–]Eldudearino8910 points11 points  (4 children) | Copy

Burpees Bro Burpees!

[–]ironchefuk2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Mufucking burpees!

[–]Eldudearino891 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yea Buddy. Death by Burpees FTW

[–]Kenny_Twenty1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

They're the best. And by best I mean worst.

[–]Eldudearino891 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hahaha. Agreed

[–]Shittybillyall27 points28 points  (0 children) | Copy

Being physically active is directly related to your mental health. If I go a few days without working out I feel like shit too. No idea about being socially awkward tho doesn't change my personality.

[–]maxofreddit21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy

Echoing /u/MrAgamemnon ... humans are SUPPOSED to move, not sit and study/work for hours and hours.

It shouldn’t be seen as a “reliance” on fitness, it should be seen as you being aware and your body giving you feedback that you have to get movingly answer your question, I notice a difference after 3 days.

[–]Leaves4Good14 points15 points  (6 children) | Copy

I've been lifting for 5 years, last 2 very consistently, I was huge.

3 months ago my conditions won't let me lift any more, like at all, I can hardly walk.

My natural test fell to the bottom, I can see it in conversations with other people and with how I present myself and how I feel. Life is hell now and it's not going to be fixed any time soon. Yeah.

[–]germancarfan1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah this is what I’m feeling to. I don’t have a “presence” like I did at the beginning of the school year when my scheduled allotted gym time.

[–]Leaves4Good0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well the effects stayed for a while, for about 2 months at least I felt little difference. It's very recently that I noticed it. Previously I thought even 1 week off gym was already too much, but I didn't realize things would change that much in 3 months.

[–]matt6750 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

:(

[–]mineralranch0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

What happened?

[–]Leaves4Good0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Varicose veins.

I exacerbated a bit - of course I can walk, but lifting of any sort makes the condition worse, it hurts enough without it.

[–]Azora-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

It would be interesting to see how some exogenous testosterone could work in your case.

[–]SkankHuntL8914 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah. I work at desk so sedentary a lot. No exercise makes me introverted and tired.

[–]nross3686 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Momentum is what you're lacking. Me personally when I don't work out I feel less confident. But that's only because I derive some of my confidence from my lifting and fitness. If you're thing was comedy and you liked making people laugh everyday and that's where you got confidence from then decided to stop all of a sudden you would feel like shit.

At the end of the day being active makes you feel better. So suck it up and realize that you have the power to change your situation. So instead of trying to seek validation from others online so you don't feel so lonely. Experiment and find out what works for you.

This is vent not a question.

[–]EvFlix833 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Go lift bruh !

[–]DWS33_2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If i’m not training mma( aspiring fighter) i feel like i’m not working on my purpose. you’re not the only one

[–]Rkingpin2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is a real phenomenon was going to post about this.

Must have something to do with endorphins released from exercise

[–]trpppp1232 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don't get depressed but, after a week or two where I haven't lifted, I feel my body being generally weaker, more prone to fatigue, and maybe even a little less confident.

[–]rektum_expander3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, I start to feel...gross. Like I’ve gained 15 lbs. Then I miss the ache of the DONS.

[–]KnowledgeableNip1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah.

I started lifting to lose weight and all that. I keep doing it because I know it has such a strong impact on my mental health. After about a week off I notice a shift in my body.

[–]linkschode1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Were you not confident in the same way before you got fit?

If so, then I’d say you’ve used your physical fitness to prop up an unhealthy ego and sense of self.

For the time being - just set yourself a date when you’ll start again and realise you can’t always do everything you want to. Remind yourself that within a couple of sessions you’ll be back to where you were.

Try and use this time off to think about the aspects of your being that you can draw on for confidence. Remember that strangers don’t really pay much attention to your fitness or strength level at all unless you’re severely over or under weight. Also remember that a few weeks off will make only a fraction of difference to your appearance or strength.

Also remember that this is just a part of life your learning to be ok with - and that is that sometimes you can train, sometimes you can not. As long as you keep it up over the years - that is what truly counts.

And when you get back to it, realise that you had time off, and how easy it was to get back to it. Use this time to get your sense of self and ego rebalanced.

[–]germancarfan1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Honestly I had zero confidence before I lifted. I was a “ try-hard” when it came to being funny or making friends. And when it didn’t work, I isolated myself in my room for most of my college life. I’ve been like 135lbs at 6 foot my whole life before I started working out at 23 years old. It was severe skinniness that held me back all my years prior. And since I’m naturally so skinny, in these 4 weeks off, I’ve lost 10lbs.

But now when people who I knew in college see me, they say “you’ve changed so much” or “when the hell did you get jacked”. I never started lifting for these compliments, I did it cause I was sick of my self lol.

[–]ProNinety1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

i know I felt the same thing today until we had to help lift things in class

[–]Aggressive_Beta1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, I start getting depressed after about 3 days. Especially if I’m drinking on that third day, I feel like such a piece of shit

[–]Garathon1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's not a problem to be reliant on fitness since that is completely under your control. It's kind of ridiculous to expect confidence to be completely independent of internal factors.

[–]An_Actual_Politician1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yep. Getting a vasectomy in a couple weeks and wont be able to lift at all for two weeks. Going to be absolutely BRUTAL.

Worst part will be the strength I lose. Been at this for a year straight now, have taken every step to ensure I didn't get injured and have to stop.

I'll probably start my own thread here on starting lifting again after the big V.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMetalgear2221 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Actually 2 weeks off from the gym won’t affect your strength too much, 2-3 days of lifting when you’re cleared and you’ll be right back where you started so long as your nutrition is good. It’s the cardiovascular system that suffers much faster (2-3 weeks of no exercise)

You’ll feel like a million bucks going back.

[–]Kn1ght01 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah. Lost my job start of this year and cant afford my membership/classes or food. Currently experiencing the worst depression i've ever known

[–]shady_nasty_mf2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

do something at home, even a simple Interval Training session three times a week

  • 5 minutes jog on the spot warmup
  • (12 sets) 20 fast high knees followed by 40 second job
  • 5 minutes cooldown job

Total workout time: 22 minutes and all you need is literally a spot to stand on.

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K180 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you've been lifting consistently, doesn't surprise me you feel the difference.

If I'm heaps busy, I still get there for 30 mins...it helps my mood considerably. Plus, there is nice ladies to look at 😉

[–]fartingaround0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yea

[–]821sleepingbag0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I start to hate myself if I don’t go to the gym for a while. It’s my sense of responsibility kicking in.

[–]redpill_scientist920 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Started lifting last year. I get fucking miserable when I’m not in the gym, feel like I’m not doing anything with my life. I’m barely into lifting, but when I’m not in the gym I feel like a scumbag loser these days. And for the first time I’ve been getting stronger, ive always been a scrawny punk, and a friend asked me if I’ve been lifting tonight for the first time.

[–]Whoisaryan0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yep. For most of Christmas my company received a lot of business, which means I was working around 60 hours a week, I had no time or energy for the gym afterwards.

It’s safe to say I felt extremely worthless and depressed at nights before I’d go to sleep.

The gym more than anything to me is a stress relief. It’s like a therapist but more so

[–]That_Deaf_Guy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I've only returned to the gym 6 days ago after having 2 months off due to an injury. My anxiety is gone, my confidence is back, my discipline has increased etc. Its amazing what a gym routine can do, physically and mentally. I've never felt better.

[–]ayhme0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

For sure. My mind definitely isn't as focused and I start to feel like crap.

I have started doing push-ups in my office and plan to buy a pull-up bar.

[–]Notwhatyoubelieve0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I haven't been to the gym for a month due to a back injury. I'm less productive and less optimistic, I'm not depressed but I can't find deep joy in everyday life.

FUCK GAINS! I'm waiting for my PT appointment and looking forward eagerly to returning again, not to look good but to feel good about myself. Turns out I train for Functional not aesthetic gains.

[–]cuztrp0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Look Brain Derived Neurotrophic Factor. I think it's a kind of hormone/neurotransmitter released in the brain when you move which increases neuroplasticity and brain growth in general.

[–]philbignig0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

i feel you man.. if I don't lift, I can't live properly

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes it can be an issue. I have an issue when I don't eat right, when I consume too much sugar or dairy and other crap.

Technically you do rely on healthy living, pushing yourself to feel good. We are all addicted and fixating on things, what we choose to press ourselves into definitely reflects on our mood.

You need to work it in.

I just started taking Vitamin D with magnesium and melatonin [spell check says I spelled that shit wrong wtf] at night to give me a boost in the morning.

I need a little less rest and have a little more go first thing in the morning to start out with a run then lift a few sets.

Even if you just get in 2 first thing, maybe get another one in right after work.

I do all my work at home.

You could easily pick up the plates you need on craigslist for cheap and stack them neatly in almost any size space at home.

You just don't need that much room to at LEAST keep yourself consistent on the big 3.

Don't ever stop totally ever. Find a way to keep sharp brother.

[–]toniree0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Bro I can’t even talk to women at bars if I stop lifting for 2+ weeks. When I get back into it I become myself again

[–]Razzoz60 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Totally true for me too. I was sick for a month and did not hit the gym and had a trip with friends at the end of that month, the guys asked me if anything was wrong because I was not the same. Don't skip gym for longer than 2 weeks please.

[–]Changedcam10170 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed

[–]BuahahaXD0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I had a surgery a few months ago and I couldn't go to the gym for a few months. During that time I felt significantly worse - I was sad, bored and my confidence dropped.

Now I am active again and I feel better.

[–]MemphisBro0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Life would suck ass without the gym no wonder you’re depressed you’re being lazy & I’m a grad student too, most I ever took off was a week

[–]germancarfan0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I’m not good at time management. I’m at a US MD school so by that time I catch up with one block of exams, the next one is already in 6 days and I have 15 lectures to catch up on lol. These last 4 weeks were crazy cause of Christmas break. I’ll have to use the start of the new block in February to stay on top on school since I’m already behind now and need to hit the lectures for 15 hours a day at least until this block is over

[–]randomTATRP0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well, that's probably your problem, you could've studied during the break, but noone wants to do that. To be outstanding, you have to do outstanding stuff.

[–]red_matrix0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes. Every time. Once you build the habit, it’s hard to break.

[–]liberty11270 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Excuses. Manage your time better. I know people in med school who still go 2 hours a day and work a job.

[–]ngKindaGuy-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

This sounds like a common case of "I don't have time for X" which translates to "I'm not making X a priority".

If you're feeling depressed because you're not going to the gym, then make it a priority to go to the gym.



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