AITA for telling my husband he “should have just married a white woman”

For context I’m a black woman and my husband is white. I have 4c hair and I wrap my hair in a satin scarf to go to bed. For those of you who don’t know what that means, basically my hair curl pattern is really tightly coiled so my hair texture is kinky and easily tangled and easily breakable if not taken care of well.

I used to sleep on a satin pillowcase when my hair was shorter and had a lower chance of tangling while I tossed and turned in my sleep. But recently I’ve added oils to my nightly routine and since my hair is a bit pass my shoulders now, the chances of it tangling are higher and I don’t want my pillowcases to get soaked with oils so I started wrapping my hair up again.

First night I wore it my husband said that I looked like a slave which- ok was a little bit funny and a little bit true in my scarf and nightgown combo so I let him have that one. But since then, it’s the little comments when I get into bed. Like “are we doing the slave tonight?” Or “should I help you into bed grandma?” Little things like that. I’ve explained why l do it, and I think he understands that but he simply doesn’t like it and my hope was that he’d get used to it by now.

Last night I was getting ready for bed and I couldn’t find my scarf anywhere so I asked DH if he’d seen it and he admitted that the hid it but wouldn’t tell me where. He wouldn’t stop joking around even when I got visibly upset and said he wished he could run his fingers through my hair or something along those lines and I snapped and said if he wanted that he should have married a white woman.

He got really quiet after that and told me where he hid it. We haven’t talked much about it but there’s this air of awkwardness. The only times he mentioned it was this morning when he said that we should look into counseling for our “race issues” and that I made him feel really racist and I didn’t think about it that way.

I thought he was upset because I yelled at him but I didn’t think it was the statement itself (granted I probably should not have brought race into it but I wanted to illustrate a point.) Now he’s suggesting couples counseling to get through our “race issues”? I don’t think it was that serious and I don’t want to go through all that. AITA?

OP: https://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/iaubc9/aita_for_telling_my_husband_he_should_have_just/