High N Count, Have Reformed, Now: No Sex Before Marriage

Willow-girl · 2017-02-12T14:01:38+00:00

Now that I've suddenly come face-to-face with the fact that, no, I don't want a career, I want to be a wife and mother, I want to get married within the next two years, while my market value is high and I can score a husband that is wonderful and also can support the many children I would like to have.

I see a big red flag here, and it has nothing to do with N-count. Are you looking for a husband, or a walking wallet willing to finance your SAHM dreams? What happens when "Mr. Right" gets run over by a truck, or develops a health condition that leaves him disabled, or simply loses his job? Will he still be "Mr. Right" if he can no longer support you in the style to which you have become accustomed?

Marry a MAN, not a lifestyle -- that's my best advice, as the world is an uncertain place and life has a way of turning out not quite as you expected!

teaandtalk · 2017-02-12T00:34:04+00:00

Good luck with that. That would be a dealbreaker for almost any high-value man.

A better alternative: vet, vet, vet, and hold out for sex until you're in a committed, exclusive relationship. Be careful with who you let into your bed, but don't have unrealistic expectations.

mwait · 2017-02-12T00:43:25+00:00

Realistic response from a guy here...

No high value male is going to wait until marriage for you when he learns you've been with that many guys at your age. Sorry. I know it's not what you want to hear.... But no self respecting RP man is going to go along with that.

I'm sure you can definitely find a beta/BP that will buy into that though.

The-os · 2017-02-12T10:19:43+00:00

When I read this I remember the story from the TRP's sidebar about a husband who had/s a wive that fucked around in college but didn't want to do any of those things with him. This is what I hear when I read this story when you go from one side to the other.

Mssweetnsassy · 2017-02-12T07:57:15+00:00

Others have already pointed you too the reality of the situation, no RP male will wait till marriage for you. This is what I would recommend your strategy be when you are considering/attempting to get serious with a guy. Also I should add, try to leave the convo about actual numbers till the guy has had a chance to see how lovely and red pill you are now.

When it comes time, admit what you've done previously, and say your ashamed of it. Being humble here is a hugely important thing.
Your gonna need to be the best possible submissive wife you literally can be. Internalize everything that will make you stepford housewife type material, X100.
Make him so seduced by your sweet, loving, endearing behaviour now. that he doesn't focus so much on your previous behavior.
This is more of a personal point, as someone who is young too, dont utter/say the words "it made me who I am", it implys a sense of pride and that you still don't 100% want to accept responsibility for your actions. In a guys eyes, a loose girl is their worse nightmare in terms of being a LTR/wife, one who tries to defend that by saying it "made you grow as a person" or some feminist derivative, will not get you taken seriously, and you'll most likely be nexted.

I also wanted to add just for a bit of insight, part of the reason that high quality men don't marry loose girls is because they don't want their families to be a source of shame for them and if you are the weakest link, then they don't want you raising their kids. I just wanted you to know, it isn't about self punishment just to satisfy a mans ego, I understand admitting you f$$$ed up big time is hard as hell, but you are trying to prove that you will not be the source of bad influence in his children's lives. Which is why the humility and excellent RP behaviour is necessary.

All in all, welcome to reality :) glad you took the pill, you are right, that you cannot change the past, but you have to own it and admit how terrible you feel because of it. Humility is the only way you'll get the life you want, kids and all. Good luck.

[deleted] · 2017-02-12T11:04:35+00:00

I came to say this is a bad bad idea. Fine you've changed. But I don't think most good guys will accept no sex until marriage if you're not virgin.

Wait for a committed relationship and then have sex. Don't do one night stands or cave in before that. Don't wait until marriage.

RubyWooToo · 2017-02-12T15:21:19+00:00

I think your expectations are unrealistic.

Unless you're part of a very tight-knit devoutly religious community and culture, and are still a virgin, your chances of finding a guy who would be willing to wait for marriage for sex and completely subsidize your existence are almost zero.

Although RP generally has a transactional view toward sex, your vagina is not a bargaining chip. The purpose of holding out for a relationship before putting out is not to manipulate someone into committing to you... it's so you don't waste your time, put yourself at risk for STDs and pregnancy, and get overly emotionally invested in a man with whom you have no future. It's also fair to the guy because if what he really wants is casual sex, he can quickly move along to someone else.

Your best course of action would be to get very thorough in your vetting process and wait to have sex once you're in a committed, monogamous relationship. Despite what RP will have you believe, few men are going to ask for your number. The ones who do will be the ones who care, and though you should answer honestly, it's OK if they don't stick around because you're probably not right for each other.

In the meantime, make sure that you complete your education and have a job, whether or not you ultimately want a career. Even very traditional men aren't keen on marrying women who see them as a wallet and not a human being. If you're fortunate enough to find a man who wants you to stay at home, you'll still need the ability to make your own money in the event that he leaves, dies or becomes incapacitated.

radioactivities9 · 2017-02-12T02:22:14+00:00

You have to fuck before marriage, you have to marry a man who you absolutely love fucking. You have to know that the sex can always get better and how to get yourself off and be free with him! This is important for all, but especially women who've been bad, bad girls!

testmypatience · 2017-02-12T10:25:54+00:00

High N Count, Have Reformed, Now: No Sex Before Marriage

No.

It isn't very reasonable.

lol.

[deleted] · 2017-02-12T11:20:45+00:00

There are men who will wait. My fiance waited 8 months... because I was getting the Gardasil shot, since I'd only been with one person and he absolutely had not. Unless you find a devout Christian, in which case you'd better be just as devout, who can accept that you're "born again", he will not wait until marriage. It won't happen. If, however, you wait to get to know a guy and develop a committed relationship, your chances of increasing your number greatly are slim.

As far as your number goes, just be honest. Some guys don't even want a specific number. You can't change it, so don't beat yourself up.

AndyKane · 2017-02-12T01:19:17+00:00

[deleted]

ElfFey · 2017-02-12T18:02:21+00:00

This is not going to work.

Your problem isn't having sex with men. Your problem is how you relate to sex and how you let men relate to you.

You're on the right track not to have sex, but not because you need to hold out on guys. Because you need to focus on your relationship with yourself. You need to ask yourself the tough questions like why on earth would you have sex with so many people, was it peer pressure, did you just want to have fun, do you like sex, what was it. You don't have to feel bad about it but the idea that you can hold out now and make up for past mistakes is false.

Rather you need to get clear about what you want, and when you find it be sexual with that person. Your number is so high at this point that changing your focus to being in an ltr, it won't matter if you realize the guy isn't someone you want as a husband so you can easily move on. (Girls with low counts hate making mistakes in this area.)

So change your mindset and you have nothing to lose.

CleburnCO · 2017-02-14T06:25:57+00:00

"She makes me wait for what she gave freely to losers".

Good luck with that.

It is admirable that you have found your path. Reality is still real. You gave a precious set of experiences away...for free...to guys who obviously were not worthy.

A worthy man will see this as reality and then see you deny him what you gave freely to lesser men.

Does not compute...

Not saying you are wrong...you are right to stop riding the CC...but it's a bit late and you are going to have a serious uphill battle. Might want to adjust your standards.

radioactivities9 · 2017-02-12T02:24:05+00:00

My N-count is over 9000. I put the 'O' in cunt.

undercovervegan · 2017-02-12T04:23:00+00:00

Don't be ashamed! Everyone has a past, and no one is beyond redemption. I don't think it would hurt to think about why you had sex in the past, and reflect on how you've changed so you can explain to a future partner. You can be honest about your desire for him, but explain why you've changed. Forgive yourself, and do the right thing from here on out. The right man will be able to forgive you for your past, and love you for who you are.

wangj2357 · 2017-02-12T23:25:47+00:00

Girllll do not wait for marriage. Waiting for commitment is more realistic. Honestly I would still sleep with him before marriage to make sure that's the dick you want for the rest of your life, lol. Going to extremes will only hurt you.

Rommel0502 · 2017-02-13T05:18:44+00:00

I have to admit you are in a catch-22.

You don't want to add to your already high n-count, but no high SMV male will wait for something you gave to others already without waiting.

Of all of the things a woman can do to effect her SMV, a high uncommitted n-count, along with children, are the most irreversible. To that end, you need to really work on the things that are not ...

marlybarrow · 2017-02-15T07:36:17+00:00

Will he start thinking - gosh, why wait until marriage if she's already let that many people in?

Yes. He'll also think "she had her fun with better men than me, now she wants to squeeze every bit of my money and commitment and not fuck me for the trouble.".

The solution to your problem is to drop the "no sex till marriage" caveat, and have sex with the man you want to be with in a long term relationship.

[deleted] · 2017-02-12T20:04:30+00:00

So you have given up on polygamy I take it.

Title	High N Count, Have Reformed, Now: No Sex Before Marriage
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	9
Comments	86
Date	February 12, 2017 12:28 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/5tiktr/high_n_count_have_reformed_now_no_sex_before/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/high-n-count-have-reformed-now-no-sex-before.167146 https://theredarchive.com/post/167146

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