Some recent posts regarding apologies, like this shining example, show that we need a quick refresher on the language of women.

Disclaimer: This is not new stuff, all available in the sidebar and prior seminal posts, but, since we have more Rambo's than the Expendables series... Here is the process broken down nice and easy for all of the remedial students out there.

ACT 1: She does something wrong, says something in a rude tone, makes a mistake, whatever... Something happens, it crosses some line, makes you unhappy. I'm not talking about slipping and falling on a cock, but normal day-to-day oldest kid in the house stuff.

ACT 2: Through some manner of spoken words, gesture, facial expression, removal of attention, you make it clear that you are displeased with what has gone on. ONE TIME. You don't mope around the house sighing like you are trying to inflate a bouncy house, you don't text her every 5 minutes about it, you don't call her mom to complain, you don't write her letters to find in her sock drawer, you don't make bitch comments under your breath, etc. You make it known ONE TIME that you are disappointed, and depending on the severity you might accompany that with removal of attention. The point is NEVER to punish her in ACT 2, just to make sure she gets the message that she displeased you. END SCENE

ACT 3: As you should know, women speak a different language. When a man says "I'm sorry" is sounds like this. It sounds a bit different for women. It sounds like a lot of wet sloshing, some muffled whimpers, and heavy breathing. It MAY involve the spoken words "I'm sorry", but not necessarily. Some say "Women suck at apologies", this is actually extremely accurate, just worded a bit wrong, to be clear, they "suck" your dick while apologizing.

u/bogeyd6 has an excellent post about his experiences and it's relation to The Art of War. In particular, pay attention to "Do not interfere with an army that is returning home". An army returning home is going to do everything it can to save face, they aren't going to be throwing a parade for a losing battle, they are going to return home as quickly and silently as possible, and hope that the townsfolk forget all about their failure. They are done with fighting, their spirit broken. Don't try to attack them more, it will lead to desperation and contempt.

For a woman, her reactions to disagreement/arguments are to either push harder, or retreat. Once you have "won", for god's sake don't keep trying to punish her and beat her into submission. This applies to shit-tests as well as apologies. Her "dropping it" is her way of saying, you won. How you handle it from there decides if you go to ACT 3, or if you fuck things up and show her how far inside her frame you are. If the one time she does apologize for something verbally you act like you just won the superbowl, confetti is flying all over the house, and start shitting in her corn flakes, what message does that send? It tells her you are a Beta loser who usually loses at life, and her submission is a momentous occasion.

You reaction should be that of a giant ice-breaker, you are unmoved by small bumps in the ocean, and if she wants to be a part of your life she needs to tuck in behind you and stay within the path you have created.

Depending on your personality, it may be difficult to hold your tongue after she does something shitty, believe me, I know. Outside of the home life I'm accustomed to beating my attackers into submission, then a bit more to make sure they get the point. Forget that mentality, if you need to hear the words, just say them to yourself as she is sucking you dry. In the words of her Majesty "Keep Calm, and Fuck the Shit Out of Her" (at least, I think that's what she said, I can never understand that British accent.)

Side Note: I'm really loving this analogy of you being the Ice Breaker ship. You could really go far with it. For example:

  • If she stays in your path, she will have a nice and smooth ride.
  • If she doesn't like the direction you are going, she can try to break off, which will be a difficult path OR she can wait until you cross the path of a different BETTER ship and get behind their lane.
  • She can't see around you, so you need to communicate your destination.
  • You set the speed. If you go too fast her smaller boat may not be able to keep up, and it is lost. If you go too slow, she will get board, and start looking for a better ship to follow.
  • Your ship is unfazed by bumps in the road. If her ship accidentally bumps you, do you care? No, as long as she gets back in-line, it's no big deal.
  • Your path is wide and safe and suitable for ANY ship to follow. If she doesn't stay close, who's to say a younger tighter ship won't slip in and replace her.

It goes on and on...