Generally speaking, things are WAY better than they were a year or so ago when I stopped being completely beta every second of the day...this came up this morning, just wanted to bounce it off you guys.

BACKSTORY/SET-UP (may on may not have needed all this)

We just got back from vacation visiting parents and family on a lake back east, no nookie while we were there due mostly to logistics (shared rooms and the like), but hey whatever, I got to chop some wood and catch some fish, so it wasn't the most important thing on my mind.

Cut to last night, the wife starts the day in a rage about her work, and about halfway through the day I hug & console her with, "You need some dick, huh? That's ok, I can get you some later." She gives the obligatory "Ew," & give it no thought.

Around 9:30pm I get home after picking up one kid, and see that the littlest is asleep on the couch, and the middle one is still up doing art. The wife is on a skype chat with a pregnant friend, giving advice. I figure it's all a wash and carry the littlest down (still sleeping) to bed, and get the other two on the toothbrush train headed for slumber. I jump in a quick cold shower, and lay down with the kids to read a story, they ask for snuggles and I fall asleep with them, I'm a dad afterall, and that shit is great.

ACTUAL STUFF

This morning I see that she's texted me twice last night with pics of her and the tequila bottle asking, "You coming back out to the kitchen?" Implying that it's a sexy-time night.

I play the whole thing off, but inside I'm a little bit raging. I feel like if I miss a potential night of nookie that's been pent up over the last 2 weeks. The thing is is that I'm not yet in the place that I KNOW sexy will happen whenever the fuck I want. I still feel at times that it's totally NOT under my control. Like I kinda never know when the stars are going to align. I feel like I missed out last night, but fuck if I wasn't tired enough to be dead asleep literally 3 minutes after snuggling down with my kids.

Do any of your "miss" or not go thru with sexual encounters? Do you have this pissy feeling the next day? Do you just suck it up and wait for the next time?

I probably just need to head to the gym.

As an unrelated PS - Has anyone yet figured out how to get their wives to lift?

UPDATE/FR (EDIT) - nod to a lot of great comments here, but here's the long of it - TL;DR below.

The basic GOOD that came out of it was that I didn't give a fuck about her, and got on with the rest of my day, actually making my way through a couple of jobs around the house that I'd been putting off. Told her that I was taking the kids to the beach at around 1, no invite, just information...the fuckers needed to get out of the house. I'm finishing up my shit and around 12:30 I see her start getting ready for the beach, I guess she's coming too. As we're leaving she says, "You think the beach might help your attitude a little?" I ignore, and get the frisbees. Head to beach and I get shit set up, kids are in the sand & I close my eyes for a bit & dose off. Wake up periodically to her lightlytouching my leg/chest/whatnot (this is a little out of character, but progress) Wake up and help the kids build a sand castle while I notice the wife doing the nap thing. We leave the beach after two hours, and I grill a late lunch early dinner before headed into work for a couple hours to check on things.

I get back at 8pm or so and friends are over watching the Olympics, and the kids are still up. I initiate bedtime (again) but call out as I head to the bed rooms, "I'll be back up in 10 minutes, have a shot ready for me!" My buddy mentions out loud to his wife and the room, "Nice, I wish I had that shit at my house!" He's helping my game, nice. Come back upstairs, do shot, watch Olympics. Friends leave. I fuck her silly, like, get out the lube style, sweaty, dirty talking, fuck fest style.

So

note to /u/pikadildo - yes..I over thought it, but the anger/pissiness got me fuckin focused at least.

note to /u/screechhater - "Just remain in frame, stoic and abundant" - this....always this

note to /u/Persaeus - kids snuggles are great, and the Jack Bauer comment is as true as it is funny

note to /u/dandar4600 - I'm getting more and more that even if it doesn't nec happen when I want, if I stay OI it happens more, and I'm just fuckin happier in general

note to /u/Grimsterr and /u/nopeToThe43rd - it was, indeed, much more of an "Oh, well, missed that one." And I just overthought the shit out of it. A little OI, & "that's the way the cookie crumbles" without giving it much thought was the best approach.

To some of you, maybe I'm in a different place, but I don't consider the wife and I adversaries. I truly believe she wants me to be my best just like I do. Without knowing it (because she's a fucking woman) she'll shit test to make sure I'm on my A-game, and if I miss a few here and there, yeah I get pissy because I know I'm off, but once I'm back on, it's indeed, on.

TL;DR for UPDATE - Used anger to focus & got shit done around the house, owned my own fuckin day, fucked her sideways and silly that night.

thank you to all who posted, it does really help sometimes to have a group to bounce stuff off when we know things have fallen off track. It's great to be able to get just the right kind of beat down to get you focused again, MRP is a great resource. Thanks for all you guys do.

*multiple edits for formatting and readability, probably still some typos, but fuck-it, I got shit to do