Financial prep for marriage?

creating_my_life · 2018-08-29T15:54:34+00:00

Yes, here's the right steps. I've been married a while and can help with this.

First, you and your lovely fiance need to clear the air, and sit down and look at ALL finances. Savings, checking, bills, EVERY credit card, car loans, mortgages, student loans--everything. Pull a credit report. Make sure you know HER full financial situation.

Have an honest and long talk about your feelings toward finances, expenses, savings, vacations, and more. If you're not aligned here, life will be difficult.

Read up on The Millionaire Next Door. Curb your bad spending habits.

After you've done all this, cancel the engagement and don't fucking get married because you'll get fucked anyways.

RedLiftingStraps · 2018-08-29T13:11:14+00:00

Don't go through with it.

BIG_HUB · 2018-08-29T13:00:46+00:00

Pre-nup, or don’t get married. Put kids in the mix you’re fucked anyway.

drty_pr · 2018-08-29T13:06:52+00:00

Prenup (why get married anyway)

Prepaid visas, cash stashed at your moms, etc.

ParaXilo · 2018-08-29T17:51:02+00:00

Don't do it.

31Olives · 2018-08-29T19:16:44+00:00

Easy, don't get married!

yesbuthereswhy · 2018-08-29T23:14:34+00:00

I think the best thing to do is forget about the money. When I signed a lease to a townhome I knew that regardless of what I did I was never getting that damn deposit back. I treat my marriage exactly the same. I expect to lose every damn thing I care and love about. I think that when you do this then you can prepare yourself for the day it arrives.

RedPillCoach · 2018-08-31T18:48:07+00:00

You are going to get roasted.

There is absolutely no effective way to protect your finances and savings from being gutted in a divorce. Prenup? Think again. A Prenup is whatever the judge says it is and can be thrown out on a whim.

However, if you BOTH have lawyers and you both negotiate a reasonable and fair agreement as a prenup before marriage then most of the time courts will uphold it.

However, reasonable and fair depends on the State and the State laws. You can get a little bit better deal with a prenup than is allowed for by your State laws but usually not a LOT better deal. You cannot hide a single dime of money or the judge can use this to manufacture a reason to throw out your agreement.

Now, how do you "hide" money if you want to run this without a Prenup? Short answer, you can't. Anything you do could be construed as fraud. Although obviously there are "arrangements" you could make that would be less fraudulent and less likely to result in you going to federal poundmeintheass prison, I don't think you can do things like 'give it to a relative without what we call a "Constructive Trust" resulting (i.e. the judge could order your Dad to pay 1/2 the money or more to the ex-wife) and denying that you gave him the money in anticipation of marriage would be clear fraud.

This is not a bad question and perhaps our good friend /u/Red-Curious has some input?

Westernhagen · 2018-08-29T17:23:12+00:00

See a financial advisor about creating a revocable living trust before the marriage and putting your pre-marital assets in it.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/jefflanders/2012/07/18/can-a-trust-protect-my-assets-in-divorce/#51a43142377d

wtg2989 · 2018-08-29T22:07:42+00:00

Ok, thanks for all the advice on "don't do it" but that's not what I'm asking. The question is how to protect myself in preparing for getting married. Not, should I get married.

simbarlion · 2018-08-30T00:58:18+00:00

I am going to weigh into this with a different view from the don't get married cause you'll get fucked perspective.

Cause you might get fucked, BUT you hopefully have vetted this chick to the best of your abilities. Maybe she's the best you'll get. Maybe she has a great family. Whatever. You have chosen her. Good one.

So look at this like you are joining the airforce. Its going to be heaps of fun, travel, money, friends, companionship. Fringe Benefits. But one day, just one day, a war might start (its not your war) and you might get called up to fly into syria or afghanastan, and get blown to fucking shit. Game over.

So what are you going to do? Site on the sideline? Or take your chances?

You are going into this fearing what you might lose, not looking at what you might gain. Go all in. Or don't go at all.

JDRoedell · 2018-08-29T13:27:37+00:00

Have a wedding, get a ring if you want but don’t sign any papers. No marriage licenses nothing with the courthouse. If she has real problems with that then ask why you can’t trust her? (Pressure flip). Negative assertion; what’s wrong with us just being together without the state officializing it ?

SorcererKing · 2018-08-29T21:40:00+00:00

Take your savings and get yourself a set of gold teeth. They protect your wealth against inflation and look so good you'll have no problem attracting plates.

Oh, no wait, that's totally retarded -- just like you wanting to get married. Don't do it.

jahesus · 2018-08-29T13:29:07+00:00

DONT FUCKING DO IT. You will get fucked. Everything you build, will be dismantled brick by brick and you will be blind to it. Always remember, AWALT. Shes not yours, its just your turn.

Countpudyoola · 2018-08-29T15:37:21+00:00

prep financially before getting married to protect my savings from being gutted in a divorce one day

Well... if you live in a western developed country: you can't.

So make whatever decision you are going to make with that in mind.

matrixtospartanatLV · 2018-08-30T03:32:21+00:00

See a family law attorney in YOUR state.

They will know the mechanisms used to take your money, hence; how to protect it.

It’s a great question, it may not have a great answer.

MY suggestion?

Give it to your parents to add to your inheritance.

In most states, receiving an inheritance is untouchable by the spouse.

healthyteacher4 · 2018-08-30T04:08:32+00:00

I having money automatically debited bi-weekly or monthly into a Roth IRA that's only under your name. (Betterment.com is a great place to set this up. You don't even have to think much and their fees are super reasonable). You can also invest on your own and only keep the things under your name. If you don't know much about stocks, set up DRIP plan on a site like computershare.com. Make sure you find a company that doesn't charge any fees for dividend reinvesting or to purchase new shares. Not saying to buy these ones, but a few companies that fit that criteria are COP and CWT. Hiding out in stocks is great because chicks have no idea what stocks are. You could also save up $8K and go buy yourself a badass Omega Seamaster watch.

screechhater · 2018-08-31T20:52:20+00:00

Straight up. Own your shit.

It all becomes 50/50.

Read the sidebar. Remain in frame and attractive. This becomes less of a situation to worry about.

However, read all the comments and realize this ain’t no shit. You had better be ready. No matter how special your unicorn is

SteelSharpensSteel · 2018-08-29T16:28:03+00:00

If you're that determined to self-harm, go see a lawyer.

Th3JourneyRed · 2018-08-29T17:27:17+00:00

No-fault marriage is not marriage. It's a tool for the primary "caregivers" (overwhelmingly women) to abuse the primary providers (overwhelmingly men). Even modern marriage licenses did not exist until the twenties and were a tool to prevent interracial relationships.

You are walking into a legal institution that has never been about love and mutual support.

I strongly recommend against this approach, but... If you really want some sort of obligation between you and your spouse and aren't in a common law state, get a lawyer and draw up an actual contract. Layout the expectations you each have that you think should incur a penalty and render your relationship void. Be very clear on how assets will be split. Consider custody. Have a ceremony and sign the agreement. Refer to each other as partners.

Otherwise, just have a ceremony and explain to her that you're not entering into a legal institution that allows her to hold the your assets hostage over any disagreement.

The absolute last thing you can do is sign a marriage license with her, if you want to be able to view the fruits of your labor as anything other than an ever growing pile of reasons for her to leave your ass.

SpitAndGIory · 2018-08-29T13:20:49+00:00

I’d honestly not go through with it. Shitty thing about marriage today is the fact that men are even having to have this conversation while in the back of every woman’s head before marriage is “even if I fuck up and end the marriage I’ll still be set for life.”

Talk to a lawyer about your options honestly. Divorce law varies state to state. For instance when I got divorced the ex, who had at least two extra marital affairs that I know of, got half my IRA that was solely in my name that only I contributed to. The IRA was opened before I ever met her. I lost thousands and was also ordered to pay off half of her credit card, a card and account that was only under name, because the court said it was “marital debt”. Any asset or debt you or her own, even if it is not jointly owned, will now be considered marital assets and property in most states and most judges will split half of everything “equally”. Get with a lawyer to CYA. Good luck.

Title	Financial prep for marriage?
Author	wtg2989
Upvotes	5
Comments	51
Date	August 29, 2018 12:49 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/9b8zly/financial_prep_for_marriage/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/financial-prep-for-marriage.204069 https://theredarchive.com/post/204069

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