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Sex issues.

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shadowycoder
June 11, 2018
13 upvotes
askMRP

Stats

  • Squat 115
  • BP 85
  • DL 145
  • 5'5"
  • 140lbs
  • Between 15-22% body fat (cutting ATM to get this down)
  • Focused on 5x5 the last two months
  • Starting group boxing classes today

So I've seen a lot of improvements lately but sex is still an issue for me. Twice in the last week I've initiated successfully, but as soon as I realize it's just going to be starfish sex, I lose it and can't keep it up anymore. It's like everything is good to go at first and then bye bye erection.

The moment I realize she's just not going to be into it, I'm done. I'm pretty sure the only solution to this is to keep working on myself and actually start leaving the house to get some dread going, but I figured I'd see what you guys have to say. It's just shitty to be all over her and ready to go but then can't perform because of the aforementioned reason. I feel like just not initiating while I work on myself might be the best choice because clearly bad sex just isn't gonna work for me anymore.

So, any thoughts? If not, I'll just keep on chugging along, lifting, reading, and start boxing then find something to go do in the evenings after work. Well, either way I'll do that.


Post Information
Title Sex issues.
Author shadowycoder
Upvotes 13
Comments 61
Date 11 June 2018 08:06 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/204356
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/8qck14/sex_issues/
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Comments

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge20 points21 points  (2 children) | Copy

“but as soon as I realize it's just going to be starfish sex....”

You are the prize motherfucker.. start acting like it. Pound that pussy.

If she offers starfish, go caveman on her ass. You’re a newbie, practice on your fucking, so when the time comes to ditch her ass for some hot young talent, you’ll be ready.

Your SMV is shit, you’re weak as fuck, you’re t levels are laughable, all you get right now is starfish - so take it. Own that pussy.

[–]shadowycoder3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

You're right. Dead on. I've got some mental issues around this to work through at the same time. Thanks for the kick in the ass.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

That’s why I’m here faggot.

Report back in a month soldier...

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (8 children) | Copy

I'm pretty sure the only solution to this is to keep working on myself

yep

[–]shadowycoder0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

Yep. Then I guess I should ask a secondary question: should I even bother initiating when I know all I'm going to get is someone who could care less. Cause it's not attractive and it just feels like a waste of time and a fucking huge DLV when I can't keep it up. Pretty sure I just answered my own question, but yeah.

[–]fuckmrpRed Beret11 points12 points  (4 children) | Copy

a waste of time and a fucking huge DLV when I can't keep it up

If you’re not shit then she thinks what the fuck is wrong with him. If you’re the shit she thinks what the fuck is wrong with me.

[–]bowhunter63 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

This is exactly right. I had a problem getting it up the last time I fucked my current ladyfriend (had already fucked her hard 2x in the previous 6 hours), and she was freaking out that there was something wrong with her pussy. I just told her "No baby, you done fucked Daddy's dick right off. Gonna have to rest a bit before I smash it again." And that was that.

If it doesn't bother you, it won't bother her.

[–]shadowycoder1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I did do a great job of playing it off today, for once. Details don't matter, but she was still giggling after and had zero hints of the usual snappiness, so I must have done something right, even if it wasn't fucking her.

[–]bowhunter61 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

There you go; her opinion doesn't matter for shit, only yours. If you want to fuck, fuck; if you don't, don't. If you can't, try again later. No big deal.

If you can't get it up because she doesn't turn you on, well, that's something else entirely. As you know, you can't negotiate desire, and that goes both ways.

[–]shadowycoder1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That makes sense. I honestly have no idea which it is yet, but I'm just gonna keep working on me until she decides she's into it (or not)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

yep

[–]shadowycoder0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Easiest answers ever ;) thanks.

[–]Trtntrenbrah6 points7 points  (16 children) | Copy

Side note.

But at your BW, you shouldn’t be cutting anything

Focus on clean food and lifting heavy ass shit.

[–]shadowycoder-1 points0 points  (15 children) | Copy

No? I'm still a total newb to all this, but the way I understood it is eat clean at a deficit and lift heavy to lower BF. So, your suggestion would be eat at maintenance?

[–]bob13bob4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

you shouldn't cut any weight during bulk stage. and you need to bulk. don't restrict calories, jsut eat a higher portion of protein and fat.

[–]innominating0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you are eating at a deficit, you may lose your wood.

[–]suprathepeg0 points1 point  (12 children) | Copy

Eat keto.

Lift.

Repeat.

At 140lbs if you add muscle without gaining fat you’ll naturally be lowering your BF. Hard too eat too much protein at you weight if you’re lifting heavy.

Make sure you get a good source of protein right after the workout. A shake with some greens is good to go.

[–]shadowycoder0 points1 point  (11 children) | Copy

Thanks. I had amazing results from keto before I started red pill, so I may have to go back to that to get the rest of the way down.

[–]mala_madre2 points3 points  (10 children) | Copy

All diets work for same reason calorie deficit or surplus. Eat what you like most. If its easy for you to be in deficit/surplus with keto sure do that if you enjoy it, but ist not something magical as much people say.

[–]shadowycoder1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy

Makes sense. I really enjoyed keto, and honestly haven't been a huge fan of adding carbs back in. It's a lot harder to stay on track if I've got any of that in my system it seems. I had no trouble after the first couple weeks with keto.

[–]suprathepeg1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Also look into time restricted eating.

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

r/leangains

You're too skinny. You can bulk easily and shouldn't even worry about "cutting" right now. Add 20lbs of muscle, maintain body the same body fat and the percentage will drop just by the math.

High protein high fat, and carb loading on your workout days. Get a good pre-workout and creatine supplement as a basic start. You can add BCAA's and the like later on.

Most skinny guys like you don't eat enough. Track your food and learn to eat what your supposed to. Milk is your friend.

I'm a 1000lb club member and 5'6" so it can be done with a little dedication at your height.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

I'm a 1000lb club member and 5'6"

didn't realize, or forgot, you were a member of our manlet club.

props on the 1000 lbs. being 50 this year, i am becoming less certain i'll get their without some radical chemistry. getting more jacked is going well; and i think i value being ripped more than putting on the bulk needed to maybe do this.

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Squat everyday bro. Squat everyday.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Are you serious ?

[–]drty_prRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

As long as you are getting your protein intake, I think carbs help on a bulk

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your dick is a reflection of your state of mind. In short, giving way too many fucks about her opinion / actions toward you. She puts out the starfish and boom: you go into a death spiral of self doubt and pity; losing your confidence and your boner in one fell swoop.

No big deal. You don’t see yourself as the prize yet. That comes with time; as you continue lifting you continue to get stronger and build muscle. As you get stronger and build muscle, you feel more confident and capable. As you feel more confident, you become more attractive. As you become more attractive, you develop more options. As you develop more options, she gets demoted from “pussy with all the power” to “just another pussy.”

You’ll get there. You’ve got the right mentality and that’s what really matters in the end.

[–]RackedRed2 points3 points  (8 children) | Copy

Do you watch porn? A lot of younger guys who are heavy into porn have ED issues when their real life doesn’t match the vids they watch. Recommend scaling it back. Besides all that, what everyone else said. And Sex God Method may help her get into it once the gains materialize.

[–]shadowycoder0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

Not nearly as much as I used to. Maybe once a week or less now. I found that I just didn't have the sex drive so I cut way back (used to be almost every night since I wasn't getting any anyway) but I still do "help myself" a couple times a week, which I should also cut back on if she's gonna start responding to my initiating. Didn't even think of that but its so damn obvious

[–]AquitasVeritas2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Had the same issue. Its a mental thing. Stop cold turkey with the porn. Itll go up. You will be a horndog and finish even if its the lamest starfish. Just pound that shit like a beast.

When i stopped i even found ugly bitches attractive enough to fuck.

Its crazy how messed up porn can be.

[–]drty_prRed Beret3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

What if he is watching porn with ugly chick's already?

[–]AquitasVeritas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lol. Well at least hes not gonna get used to his hands anymore.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Cut that shit out. Kills your edge & drive. Replace it with sex.

[–]shadowycoder0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Aaaand done. Thanks for another kick in the balls. Time to use that energy in the gym and other places.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

If you can’t substitute with sex at this point, there’s a chapter in Think and Grow Rich called “transmutation of sexual energy”. Channeling sexual energy into invention, creativity, advancement, accomplishment, Etc.

[–]light-----------dark0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

In addition to this, you can check out Mantak Chia’s book on Taoist Secrets of Love | Harnessing Male Sexual Energy.

It provides all the practices necessary for transmutation of sexual energy.

[–]BostonBrakeJob1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Caveman the starfish. Grab a handful of her hair (at the scalp, don't be a dipshit about it), pull back and tell her to turn around, or some other command that you want her to do. Make it fun for you (for now)....she's just there.

Once you put some meat on them bones and she starts feelzing the dread she'll come around. Or she won't and you'll have plenty of practice/confidence for the young tail in marketing.

SGM and Revolutionary Sex 3.0 by Alex Allman have some good ideas to get started.

You're in control of your sex life, not her. Start acting like it.

[–]RPAlternate42Red Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I came from DB... When I started RP, and she's going starfish, I told her to get in her hands and knees, and then I'd fuck her like she was a warm real doll. When I finished, I'd pullout, put my pants on and walk away.

If she wants to act like a despondent hooker I'll treat her like one.

On the flip side, when she does act good and enthusiastic, she gets afterglow time, cuddles, kisses, I interact with her during with DEVI, and she is much happier.

Nowadays, I get a starfish here and there, and I still rail her like a hooker... But because it happens much more rarely, just before I be leave the room, in also her on her ass and say, there, now you can get back to <whatever the fuck she thought was better than me>

[–]shadowycoder0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's actually a good frame. I still come at it with a 'gotta please her' mindset instead of doing it for myself. That sounds fucking stupid now that I say it, but that's what it is and it's utterly obvious what the solution is now.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Why is your squat weak as fuck?

[–]shadowycoder1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Cause I'm a weak ass man. Doing 5x5, which ups it by 5lbs every workout so I've just been following that. It's still not insanely hard, so I could probably go up but I've been trying to stick to the program until this actually becomes a way of life for me and not just a chore I have to do.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Ok good answer. Focus on form these early phases so you don’t hurt yourself when it’s gets heavy.

[–]shadowycoder1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That was kind of the initial reason I started with the recommended weight actually. I'm still finding places where my form is all fucked up. Struggled like crazy when 100lb dead lift came up and then realized before my next workout that I was doing it all wrong. Turns out I can deadlift my body weight with a lot more ease when I've got the proper form. Who'da thunk it.

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Smart. It gets heavy quick. Keep your Focus on form like you are and you’ll be surprised how much you can squat. I’m up to 295 and still climbing, never would have believed that

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Stick to the program. I started at 95lb squat and now I do 205lb. I’m scaling back a bit to work on my form. Just keep pushing.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Sees sex issues in the title.

Sees a squat of 115

Laughs and dies a little inside for OP.

[–]CaliEd2560 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

OP body weight of 140. It’s still low, but we’ve seen guys posting that weigh 200 and only squat 165. Same percentages of body weight.

[–]rpsheepdog0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

In my head I think "maybe its in kilos..." but alas...

[–]JDRoedellRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

start leaving the house to get some dread going.

You ain’t done shit yet if you haven’t done this a few times, minimum, when given starfish.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Cut the porn and choking the chicken to it Fuck the shit out if her and come when your ready. It’s not that bad compared to some of the others here not getting any

There is only one answer to all of it. Keeo working at it and apply yourself No easy answer.

Silver bullet does not exist

[–]BobbyPeru0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Go caveman.

DEVI

Quit being butthurt and make it happen

[–]trpbritguy0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Don't let her starfish then.. Get your face down there and give that bean a tongue flick!

You are supposed to be in charge and if you do it right and fuck her good she'll stop star fishing!

[–]PersaeusRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

while this is good advice (fuck her right); sometimes starfish just going to starfish. in which case, ground and pound to your nut

[–]PersaeusRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

unless she's fugly, i agree you not being able to fuck her is a negative to your perceived (by her alone) SMV and isn't doing your confidence (perceived by everyone) any good at all.

you have already gotten the no fap, nutrition/lift, and caveman advice which is all a must.

how old are you and have you had your T checked?

if you can get it, i would recommend you take Ciallis as a bridge to better times and getting out of your head. quite a few guys here, myself included, have used this to deal with problem while getting the T and mindset back in order. by bridge, i mean we used it for awhile and then dialed it back when it wasn't needed.

i can assure you that if you take one of those pills your dick will get and stay hard almost no matter what's inside your head.

[–]RPAlternate42Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Eat at a surplus, and keep lifting. You won't get stronger or bigger if you don't eat.

[–]PBL890 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Holy Shit. Why are you cutting? You should be eating 1000-1500 extra calories a day.

Don't be concerned with the starfish, because right now if you are having metal Olympics while trying to fuck she will feel that and it will be lame sex. Be confident and do what you want to do, don't fear rejection. If its starfish then turn it down and go to the gym.

[–]RedPillCoach0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The moment I realize she's just not going to be into it, I'm done, even though mentally I want to keep going.

Once you have the physical under control, and while you are getting it under control, your biggest gains will be from changing your mindset. Start thinking more that she is your lover. Stop caring so much about her immediate reaction. Go for it with complete, 100% gusto and she will be into it and your wee willie wonka will be as well. You are letting her control you and possibly passive aggressively "punishing" her for not being more attracted to you.

Am I wrong?

[–]NevrEndr0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I hope those lifts are in Kilos.

If not, shut the fuck up and get to the gym. Eat a fuckton of meat and potatoes afterwards. Go. Now.

[–]Rando91240 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You said this like 10 times. Once is enough, bro.

[–]DeplorableRay-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Stopped reading at “BP 85.”



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