TRIGGER WARNING: Just Some Casual Rape and Sexual Assualt Apologising, And They Wonder Why We Think They Have No Empathy?!?! From Men, Going Their Own Way 2.0 (AKA Men FORCED To Go Their Own Way )-VOMIT

MonicaLSolis · 2020-09-03T15:49:06+00:00

MGTOW = The older generation of misogynists. Even incels joke about how MGTOW is just a cope

Thucydideez- · 2020-09-03T15:20:43+00:00

To answer his question, yes they literally do sometimes take years to process. A big reason why is because people like him doubt the validity of such claims and make women afraid to speak up. It causes women to question the reality of their experience. Sometimes they literally can't remember it happening due to dissociation. Rape culture is so prevalent that women may mistake an assault for a "normal" consensual act, only to realize how fucked up it was months or years later. These men are downright evil for blaming women for this.

Tell-Me-Whyy · 2020-09-03T16:38:49+00:00

Porn and cultural misogyny normalizes so much sexual assault and rape. There are so many reasons people don't realise until afterwards. Some people think it's just black and white, one clear scenario where a stranger clearly rapes you.

I didn't realise I was sexually assaulted by my narc ex until many months later.

I tried to stop during a blow job (to pause), like I visibly stopped and tried to move my head off to try and stop, and he forced my head down so I couldn't stop, and started saying weird stuff like I don't stop until he cums, that's what I'm here for, so he was pushing my head down and forcing me to continue for quite a while. A month before that I tried to pause and he said no, forced my head down and after gave me a look and said I was about to cum.

And all I thought was oh he's behaving really pornsick. So it took me a week to pluck up the courage to confront him about porn. I told my two closest friends and they said it was assault but I was too traumatized over the porn and had a such a strong trauma bond, to process that it was assault.

I also asked on a student forum a few months later when I began thinking it might be assault, and the guys and even girls said that forcing someone's head down is fun and what makes a blow job good. I don't like that rough porny stuff in general, but if you do it, you have to agree to that and have a code to stop. My ex clearly didn't let me stop when I wanted to because he felt entitled to an orgasm. I felt bad and sad if I didn't make him orgasm, like I was a sexually incompetent or unattractive, so I guess too I felt like I had to do it, and was bad for making him force me because I should just do it and enjoy doing it and be good at it.

At this point I'm so done with guys and their pathetic excuses, feigned ignorance and innocence, and downright misogyny and abuse against women.

fim_de_semana · 2020-09-03T15:17:23+00:00

Women go their own way out of their own choice. Men go their own way out of the women’s choice.

-captainhook · 2020-09-03T16:19:47+00:00

The emotional intelligence is so low.

fromdusktildawnzzz · 2020-09-03T16:37:45+00:00

Took me more than 15 years to get the courage to face my past trauma from sexual assault. For some people it takes even more. Everyone processes their emotions at different rates and that’s okay.

Davina33 · 2020-09-03T17:09:32+00:00

I was just 10 years old when I was raped. I knew it was wrong but didn't understand why. I didn't know anything about periods. I used to pray at night not to get pregnant even though I had not started my periods yet. How sad is that? I had abusive, drink and drug addicted parents. If I had told them they just would have beaten the fuck out of me. I was all alone in this world, just an innocent child who had her innocence stolen away. I dare anyone to question to my face why women and girls don't come forward about sexual assault straight away. Anyone who thinks like that is devoid of empathy and thus inhuman.

2020-09-03T18:20:13+00:00

I didn't realize it until I told the story during a "bad date story" type conversation with an ex four years later In my head it was stored under "look at what this jackass did" when in reality... I could have pressed charges. And it was only after that conversation that I began processing it.

And some mild (I use that term loosely) sexual abuse happened when I was very young by two different family members and it didn't register until I hit puberty.

Honestly I think the stats for abuse are way way higher than we think they are just because kids and teens don't remember or don't even realize what happened.

Fuck this guy

-captainhook · 2020-09-03T18:41:34+00:00

Not to mention how many don't report their rapes and assaults because they know they will be called attention-seeking liars or told that they were asking for it and should have been more careful. (Even though women who are careful and try to protect themselves are told that they're misandrists because they supposedly think all men are rapists who they need to guard against, when they're really just being cautious - you can't fucking win.)

There have been AMAs by rapists (terrible fucking idea btw), and they confirmed that "a surprising number" of their victims don't report rape. The amount of women who have reported rape and assault is already so high; just imagine how many actually are raped and assaulted

EmpressOfMyLife · 2020-09-03T18:50:43+00:00

Yup.

For years I've looked the other way, and convinced myself it was 100% consensual. I told myself it wasn't a big deal because I wasn't traumatized, but, big deal or not, I have to admit that I was raped and sexually assaulted MANY, MANY, MANY times by own husband.

I don't feel sexual attraction to anyone, my husband knew that I was ace from day 1. He still begged and pleaded for me to have sex, and after the 6th or even 15th, "No", I got frustrated and gave in so he can satisfy his limp dick. I did it as a coMpRoMise, after all, if he can put up with my asexual ass, then I can put up with his stupid libido a few times a year.

The older I got, the more I realized that I essentially let him rape me by giving in. No wonder I felt disgusted, and on several occasions I wanted to get him snipped lol. I kept thinking why he just won't watch porn and masturbate, get a sex toy for himself, and just leave me alone until I'm in a good enough mood to agree to sex when asked, but nope, he couldn't even do that.

I may not be traumatized by what happened, but it still was a messed up thing. Ladies, don't ever let a man change your NO to a YES. Don't make him think that it's a compromise because you're sexually incompatible. He has to EARN that shit, he has to EARN the right to have sex with you, and he needs to sit down and shut up when you tell him NO.

4E4ME · 2020-09-03T19:27:38+00:00

Boys and young men get raped too. Do they get up in the morning and report their assault and tell the people around them and then proceed it and then they're all better?

If these guys cannot fathom a woman's experience, maybe they should examine it from a male victim's experience. If they see it from a male victim's perspective maybe that would validate female victim's experiences in these guys heads.

2020-09-03T16:38:52+00:00

it took me 4 years to realise that i was sexually assaulted and everyone would just tell me get the law involved like it’s THAT easy. i don’t even have the courage to confront the guy who assaulted me. he used to be my best friend 4 years ago and now he is the cause of my depression.

Layla-bg · 2020-09-03T21:01:12+00:00

We are thought to think that “rape” means forced sex by random stranger on a street or at a party. It also took me years to realize I was raped. I gave concent for one thing, he did another that I never agreed on, nor we ever talked about. I was a teen. I didn’t know what to do, I was kind of shocked and didnt know what was happening. I never reported because I didnt even realize it was a rape until years later.

MagnfiqueMaleficent · 2020-09-03T18:35:15+00:00

I used to volunteer at a rape crisis hotline. My first phone call was from a woman who was crying about her rape that happened.... NINETEEN YEARS AGO. The next caller was 12 years post. The next was 9 years out. All with PTSD. The next one that stands out was the woman who drank one beer with her male friend then blacked out (roofied , I’m sure) and woke up the next day in his bed with no clothes. She wanted to know if it was rape if it was a friend.

Yes, rape leaves scars. No, we don’t have to discuss it immediately. It’s clear sometimes we don’t even know what “it” is.

(Another take away: do males never volunteer or partake in caretaking professions? How do they not know about PTSD? )

2020-09-03T16:37:06+00:00

IF YOU THINK LIKE THIS BLOCK ME

Creature__Teacher · 2020-09-03T22:00:02+00:00

Oh god yes, it took me years to realize I was sexually assaulted. There was no penetration so thats why I didn't see it as sexual assault at the time.

This is a super-brief summary of what happened:

I was NOT dating or romantically involved with him, we were friends in our freshman year of college. He was 6'2 to my 5'5, and he laid down on top of me on his bed, started making out with me, took off his pants and masturbated on top of me to completion while kissing my neck. I just became super still like a statue and didn't/couldn't move or stop it.

And he dropped me off at the train and life moved on. I felt EXTREMELY WEIRD around him and my grades fell but I had no words to explain why I felt so weird so I just tried to be as normal as possible.

I didn't even start to question it as "Wait, was this sexual assault? Does it count as sexual assault? It was really weird and kind of scary..." until 2 years out of college.

EDIT: I keep trying to make the description a spoiler but its not working aahh

button-up · 2020-09-03T22:43:37+00:00

It took me years because I was assaulted by a physician, I thought it was part of my check ups and although I felt violated at the time I was too shy to question him. I was a lot younger then. The aftermath of reporting him was the worst, most traumatic part. When I spoke about it to countless other women I realized no one else had the same experience, eventually I told a friend who told me how to report him. I was so naive didn’t even know it was possible to report a doctor. They investigated him (the governing board) and had a disciplinary hearing where they put me on trial, humiliated me, to eventually tell me they believe me but I don’t have any evidence so he’s free to continue practicing gynecology. I actually do have evidence, my evidence is better than his, but I didn’t have a lawyer and it was not a legal hearing. I didn’t think I needed one. I though we were all on the same side, I didn’t realize the board exists to protect their own. Police won’t help me because he’s a doctor, so special privileges, they tell me it’s under investigation right now yet no one cares to investigate. They won’t let me press charges, they say they have a better case if more victims come forward. That was years ago. Maybe because I went to the governing board first, police said I should have told them first. I just can’t do anything right.

Reading this thread was hard. It hurts to hear your stories as much as it hurts to feel my own, even more. I’m so angry we have been treated this way. So fucking angry. Tears of sadness mixed with rage.

Virtual hugs to you all.

limitededition19 · 2020-09-03T20:52:44+00:00

I was sexually abused by my dads dad when I was very young, I completely disassociated. In the 4th grade I was called to the office and taken to the police station to be interrogated by a detective, my older sister was also abused and she reported it to the police. I lied to the detective and told her nothing happened to me, after all those years of putting it out of my head and pretending it didn’t happen I still wasn’t able to even admit to myself that it happened. It still affects me to this day. Recently I guy that I’ve been seeing came over (we’ve slept together on a few occasions now) and we started to make out and I could tell from his body language he wanted to have sex but I just wasn’t in the mood for it that evening. I caught myself thinking ‘it’s fine just get it over with’ and almost the mentally checked out and let it happen. My next thought was omg what am I doing, I started to remember all of the things I’ve been learning from this sub and stoped what was happening and spoke up for myself. It felt good.

2020-09-03T19:05:13+00:00

I didn’t have the courage to tell anyone until 6 months later and the person I told slutshamed me into staying quiet for another few years so there’s that

Pahapan · 2020-09-04T03:52:00+00:00

I have a childhood memory of being taken into an empty house by 2 men and I literally cannot remember what happened afterwards. But okay.

Sekina7 · 2020-09-04T04:41:44+00:00

Ladies! I just want to say thank you for being brave enough to tell your stories, I am humbled and I too am a survivor and years later I am STILL processing what happened! I woke up mid attack during one incident and had the opportunity and bravery to put a stop to it and leave immediately whilst still "out of it" if you know what I mean...(date.... )

What these men reveal under the cloak of anynmomity shows who they really are and this again illustrates why comparisons of us to MGTOW and TRP is wilfully obtuse at best and maliciously spitful and defanatory at worst. Global gaslighting of women and the unbalance of power at the top that prevails to this DAY plus the victim shaming around the involvement of alcohol or clothing plus the lack of real consequences for the perpetrators or resolutions for the victims means many women and men survivors have to block their trauma out to survive day to day-especially because they know in most cases nothing can be done about it. The fact the the biggest grips the MGTOW turds have is that their clever wives choose to leave them and stop granting them sexual access shows how disgustingly selfish and ridiculously childish they are! If it drives them to these mean spirited conclusions all we can do is PRAY they don't have daughters. Jesus f'ing Christ...

Frizzycatt · 2020-09-04T14:16:13+00:00

I legit apologized to my date who sexually assaulted me for "crying and freaking out" because my brain didn't and couldn't process what just happened.

Proud-Purpose · 2020-09-04T02:53:12+00:00

Do men need years to process being sexually assaulted? Let's ask those poor widdle male rape victims y'all can't shut up about, shall we?

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