Facebook

Rian_Stone · 2018-02-01T16:54:17+00:00

The trick to spotting liars aren't gotchas, it's patterns.

in a vacumn, this means absolutely nothing

hystericalbonding · 2018-02-01T16:42:00+00:00

You found someone who tolerates your paranoia and fears your anger. It seems to suit your desires. I don't see a problem for you there, other than your inexplicable desire to know what goes on in Facebook. As far as I'm concerned, Facebook is good for certain businesses and people who live remotely from close contacts. Most people don't benefit from using it.

redbeaux · 2018-02-01T16:30:15+00:00

1) It's facebook.

1.5) You have a shared facebook??!

2) Why did you care enough that she didn't tell you about the comment to even playfully ask? People often say "tell so and so I said hi" as a nice thought...not intended to be taken literally.

3) What could making your own account possibly do for/against you or to/against her. Let it go, but keep your eyes open.

Red-Curious · 2018-02-01T18:19:10+00:00

My wife knows I have a somewhat prominent main reddit account. She also knows I have a "secret reddit account" (this one). Every now and then she whines and complains about me not giving her full access to all of my accounts.

Along the lines of what /u/GargantuaBlarg29 said, there are two ways to handle this. My gut reaction is to take the hard-nose approach and say, "You don't tell me what to do. I'll keep secrets if I want." But that's not going to get me anywhere.

Instead I replied, "But if I let you see my 'secret account' then you'd probably harass all the girls I'm hooking up with ... and how am I going to get laid if that happens?"

Her response was, of course, to defend our sexual relationship and how good she thinks it is. I think it's good too. But she doesn't need to know that, so it's a nice little double-whammy, while also lightening the mood.

redwall92 · 2018-02-01T15:17:16+00:00

Since you're asking for perspective...

What I'd do if I were you?? Log onto Facebook less.

InChargeMan · 2018-02-01T18:24:37+00:00

This sounds like a bunch of BS.

Why are you bringing up that some random person said to say hello and she didn't pass it on? You sound way too vested in this external validation.
"What did you just say to me"? has its place, and that place is not here. If you go nuclear on random comments how does anyone know when something is a legit issue. You sound butthurt and controlling at the same time, impressive.
Tit-for-tat isn't going to end well, obviously you are trying to "punish" her by you getting facebook, which is a total beta move. i.e. you are doing something with the sole intention of affecting her feelings . Don't do that. She needs to orbit your gravity, not the other way around.
"You don't tell me shit about what's on here" Why the fuck should she? You act as if she is responsible on giving you daily facebook reports. It's a waste of time to begin with, why do you want to double dip on the time suck?
The real story is that you are concerned she is up to no good on there so you were logging in, looking over messages, etc to see what is up. I have no problem with trust but verify, but don't bullshit yourself or us about your intentions. They are clear as day.
"I'm a big boy mommy, I'm going to have my own facebook and you can't stop me!" (said in a whiny kids voice) That's what she hears, that's what we hear. Do or don't do things according to your own desires, don't talk about them and make threats.

EDIT: Coincidentally I do use facebook for some closed groups I'm active in, it works well for that purpose. A while back my wife said the exact same thing as you. "I don't know what you do on it." It was her hamster running a bit. She didn't like that I was "friends" with some female friends of hers (meanwhile, she has a FB and is friends with plenty of "work" guys, but to be fair she legit never used it). I AA and generally DNGAF when she started insisting that I unfriend the women. I asked why, she said "it isn't appropriate". Fast forward to he end result: she deleted her account (since she had backed herself into a corner as she went on about how bad FB is) and I changed nothing. The other day she made a comment about feeling left out when other people are organizing events on facebook. I LOLed and said "yeah, you should look into getting an account, it's pretty handy for organizing groups." and pretended as if she hadn't just thrown a fit two months prior about the evils of FB.

Cam_Winston21 · 2018-02-01T15:20:17+00:00

If she's doing something nefarious on FB it would be easier for you to find out on your shared account (just log in and look) than on a new one where you'd simply be her "friend" and she decided what you'd see.

Don't overthink, it makes her feel better if you to share the account.

SBIII · 2018-02-01T21:08:04+00:00

She is most definitely having sex with Facebook.

man_in_the_world · 2018-02-02T04:45:53+00:00

TL;DR:

A Day in the Life of a Beta ...

2ndal · 2018-02-01T15:28:05+00:00

I'm more curious about your "What did you just say to me?" response. As written it sounds like butthurt, controlling, assholish behavior. But I don't know the tone.

downvotesanimals · 2018-02-01T18:52:46+00:00

Erase your facebook account and live in the real world.

SteelSharpensSteel · 2018-02-01T16:51:27+00:00

I'm going to take a different tact than the other posters here. Perhaps the reason why she was all "No, don't do that" was because SHE was the one who has some stuff going on that was nefarious.

Similar to women who cheat and then project onto others.

Regardless, DNGAF.

P.S. So this mutual friend of yours, was she attractive? Did your wife think with her hindbrain that she was competition? There probably was some of that going on.

ReddJive · 2018-02-01T15:39:41+00:00

I find one comment from one of the few mutual friends we have on there and it says to tell redbeaux she says hello. This was weeks ago. I ask my wife why she didn't tell me so and so said hello, she jokingly says you can check it any time and find out for your self. I joke back saying "Ya know, I don't know most of the people on here and you don't tell me shit about what's on here, I should just create my own account."

This interaction tells me that Facebook and a comment from a "friend" that you haven't seen in weeks (otherwise you would have said hi way before this) is more important to you then you let on.

JudgeDoom69 · 2018-02-01T18:30:15+00:00

You are being a paranoid, needy, beta schlub looking for something to bitch about.

You are totally in her frame and obsessing about what she is feeling and considering.

This is all very unattractive. Don't be unattractive.

Take action to make yourself more confident. Lift weights, get a social life, read up.

The next time you feel the urge to go onto facebook you need to give me 100 pushups.

drjamesstone · 2018-02-01T19:27:45+00:00

Thoughts?

I think you pay entirely too much attention to this.

Delete Facebook first.

Second, stop worrying so much.

Third, lift,eat well and bone your wife like there's a trophy involved

Got it?

rebbit_reddit · 2018-02-01T22:08:50+00:00

That was a really strange response from her. Especially the fact that whatever she felt was so intense that she had to leave the room. Either 1. She felt guilty because she is doing something dodgy on Facebook, in which case you just check the messages she has been sending and you search in Facebook to see if she has her own account 2. She spoke out and was afraid of your response, which suggests you’re treating her like a lowly deckhand, rather than a First Officer

AquitasVeritas · 2018-02-01T22:19:37+00:00

Fck facebook. Just dont get on it.

And delete your pics and just say you dont to be on social media anymore.

Then ignore that shit and work on yourself.

aurelius_shrugs · 2018-02-02T00:04:50+00:00

The only thing Facebook is good for is re-uniting cocks and pussies. You are right to be concerned. The better question is why facebook is ever a thing in your household.

screechhater · 2018-02-02T00:09:38+00:00

Pussy Boy Floyd is worried

Talk about having po widdle "Fwame" smashed

Perhaps a little lifting and reading is in order, or DNGAF swig of vodka ?

Remember the rule, if she is or is going to cheat, you aren't gonna know, unless she spills it

The longer you are stoic about the blatant whiplash comment from the likes of this, the sooner the truth comes muddling out, because the hamster cannot contain itself

Also,

yarmysmardarm · 2018-02-01T18:08:28+00:00

I think you're wife is just good at giving advice. Facebook is dumb.

Title	Facebook
Author	redbeaux
Upvotes	3
Comments	48
Date	February 1, 2018 3:13 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/7ujdhf/facebook/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/facebook.204874 https://theredarchive.com/post/204874

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