Sleepover at her orbiter

TaistoKarhu · 2017-06-07T07:48:09+00:00

What the fuck is this. Do you even read bro?

Edit: I just couldn't leave it at this.

First, why is it necessary for her to sleep over? There's very few good reasons for a case like this.

Second, considering with a quick flip through your history, your relationship sucks, so this is a fucking major red flag. It would be either way, but now it's not even a flag, it's a huge fucking sign that says in big letters "THE ANSWER IS NO". On the backside it says "LEAVE!".

Third, they are very likely fucking as you know if your honest with yourself. They have probably fucked already since I assume she's been there overnight before.

Fourth, why would you allow this? Is there a covert contract here or wtf? You said something about being a nice guy the other day. This is the ultimate nice guy feat of the year. Do you think there's something unreasonable in your "boundary" that relationshipped women should not stay overnight at another mans home? Be honest with yourself at the least, man. It's bugging the shit out of you and it should. Now I can't say if there is a relationship so golden out there and a man and a woman to fit it so that this would not be a thing but for you and me buddy, it's a definate no. That's what you wanted to tell her, and should have, but you were afraid to, for some reason.

I don't have advice for this situation. you allowed potential cuckoldry before and you did it again even now that you are RP aware. You have a shit relationship where your expectations are not met at all and you double down so it can continue. Read the books goddammit and go lift for now.

There better be children or a shitton of money involved, if it was for me.

Edit2: I realized this started when you were depressed, so I can at least understand why this happened today, but fuck man... you have a long way to go. Just... start moving.

number123356 · 2017-06-07T08:19:22+00:00

You don't care that your wife is spending the night with another man?

She doesn't see it as an issue that she's even consider that?

She's fucking him. Pull your head out of your ass.

Your relationship is broken. You both need to focus on each other to see if it's worth fixing, but she's

SPENDING THE NIGHT AT ANOTHER MAN'S PLACE!!!!

What the everloving fuck.

I REALLY hope you're a troll because this is some fucked up shit.

UEMcGill · 2017-06-07T12:46:03+00:00

These guys are spot on. A quality woman doesn't spend time at a friends house to leave early in the morning. My wife would be mortified at even the possibility of appearance of impropriety. A woman's social standing is one of her most valuable assets.

The real rub here? You don't have boundaries and you're flailing around trying to discern if you should sprinkle some alpha on it. You've been here 26 days and as far as I can tell you haven't internalized a lot of the core concepts

First step for you? Forget about your wife. Read all the material, all the top posts of all time, and then go back and do it again. Lift and get your finances in order. Be stoic for awhile, and then start small. Start working on shit tests, then set some defendable boundaries.

The way I see it, you're a doormat who doesn't know it yet. Stop being one.

donedreadpirate · 2017-06-07T09:01:19+00:00

This is not when you practice STFU/DNGAF dumbass. And there is no light in this story. Her asking your permission is not a win. She feels she can walk right up to you and say "hey I'm sleeping at Chad's house, cool?". And you're such a cuck you agree and try to act tough like it's because you don't care. If you didn't care you wouldn't be here. You are in such a place of weakness with no leverage, the best you can do is use this as motivation to improve yourself. Get your finances in order, get ripped, lawyer up and document all this shit. Hire a PI if you can and get the real story so you can rip the band-aid off your life.

anotherswingingdick · 2017-06-08T01:48:16+00:00

OP: You are the orbiter. And the wallet.

drty_pr · 2017-06-07T10:55:22+00:00

At least if he is 18, it's now legal for her to send you pictures of her "date night". FFS man! Stop being such a fuckin pussy.

nantucketghost · 2017-06-07T13:48:16+00:00

deleted REMOVED BY AUTOSCRIPT - GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD

crimson_chris · 2017-06-08T00:49:17+00:00

Just no. There is no way she has one ounce of respect for you. At this point you have no boundaries.

Way before MRP my wife wanted to take a trip out of the country with a gay male friend. I did not know if I could take the time off work to go. She told me that she was going anyway without me. I was beta as fuck! That being said, I did have common sense to at least find a way to go along. You wife does NOT spend the night with someone of the opposite sex.

If a woman is going to cheat, she will cheat. But - have some fucking respect for yourself and set some boundaries.

nastynickdr · 2017-06-07T12:14:32+00:00

You are trying to convince yourself that its ok for your wife to have a sleepover at another mans house. Its not, no matter how much you hamster. It clearly shows your wife has no respect for you and you are most likely a cuck.

Your relationship is a mess because you are a mess. Think for yourself and for your own reasons, are you OK with having a wife that has sleepovers at some dudes house? If you are not, you clearly state that to her.

"Im not going to be in a relationship with someone who sleeps at some other guys house". She will try to manipulate you, guilt you, "how dare you not trust me", blah blah. You just ignore and hold your frame. Then its up to her to go or not. You cant control her, but you can control you and your choices. Then if she goes, you serve her the papers.

Things getting to this points shows your relationship is very screwed up. You are most likely better off leaving her, taking a good time to improve yourself, spin some plates, figure out what you want of your life and a relationship, become a man that has his shit together, absorb all the sidebar, and THEN you may consider another LTR again.

tacko276 · 2017-06-07T13:52:47+00:00

I'm new here and definitely trying to figure my own shit out. So I'm not judging but seriously WTF MAN!!!!!! Sorry to tell ya There only shared hobby is fucking. For god sake find your balls that's all i got.....

Terribledragon4Hire · 2017-06-07T14:07:13+00:00

That is the most fucked up thing I have read today.

Jesus fuck OP.

No, absolutely not. It is completely inappropriate.

number123356 · 2017-06-07T14:13:30+00:00

Question:

What is at your house that is so bad, that she would rather sleep at some beta orbiters place? What hobby is more important to her than the comfort of a relationship?

How sure are you that this isn't all made up? Wouldn't be the first woman with an alibi. Is he really some beta schlub? or are you saying that to feel better about yourself?

The good news? When she's gone, you get to live like you're single, you sound like you need work at it. Sidebar, lifting. You should be at home as little as she is.

From personal experience, once you internalize how replaceable she is (and do the work to ensure her replacement will take the job) it's going to nag at you. Work on those things, then you can truly not GAF if she goes or not. You may even secretly wish she would, so you CAN replace her.

That shit will manifest in your language, speech, behaviours etc. And I guarantee women pick up on that shit.

BluepillProfessor · 2017-06-07T15:11:13+00:00

There is a time and place for mate guarding and unaccompanied sleepovers at another man's house is that time and place.

This is risky even if he is just an orbiter and you are a damn fool for permitting it for any reason.

DrPillPopperMD · 2017-06-17T14:49:27+00:00

It's been said plenty but I'll add, she's fucking him. Dont act like it doesn't bother you bc it does and your positing and DEERING of the comments show that.

Clearly it's a boundary that she's crossing but it's not entirely her fault because you haven't set that boundary.

Another poster said it best and most simply - married women don't spend the night at other men's houses overnight.

You're new on your journey so it would be hard to say you forbid it and leave it at that, I doubt ur frame is ironclad as yet. With that said though, if you feel that it's too much, tell her it's too much and you will not allow it - whether she complies or not will be a testament to the amount of respect she has for you.

If my wife pulled some shit like this, I would tell her to pack her shit bc she's not coming back to my house.

Lift, read and then lift and read some more, you have a long way to go - when you get to where you need to be, you'll recognize that you're the prize and if she wants to run off with a prepubescent teen, you can do a lot better.

.....also, not to be a troll, but LARPing, you can't be serious. Find some fucking masculine hobbies and show her what a man does and it definitely isn't throwing around baggies of sand and yelling FREEZE SPELL FREEZE SPELL.

Persaeus · 2017-06-07T13:07:17+00:00

I am sure she doesn't fuck other dudes

only a fool would make such a statement.

Tiway22 · 2017-06-08T03:30:40+00:00

Move along folks, OP is dumb as a rock and wont listen to any advice.

Enjoy your divorce, idiot.

Blunter-S-Thompson · 2017-06-08T16:01:21+00:00

I guess she is trying to help him, since he is somewhat abused by his family and tries to get a job and a flat. He still lives at his mothers house.

So she tries to help him avoid his abusive family by sleeping at said families house?

She tries to help him get a flat, yet he's still at his moms?

How long has it been since the first time she stayed at his place?

redandswollen · 2017-06-07T12:53:12+00:00

I'll take a different approach-- if the orbiter is super fat, ugly, etc, and lives with his mom and your wife is higher SMV I say let her have her little sleepover. What's the worst that happens? She fucks him and you confirm that you're married to a whore that makes very poor decisions?

You should spend the time alone at the gym and improving yourself. Once you're a man who can command respect you can give ultimatums. Otherwise, it's just a weak power move.

Also, what kind of gay ass hobbies are you guys into?

Title	Sleepover at her orbiter
Author	number123356
Upvotes	0
Comments	48
Date	June 7, 2017 7:16 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/6frw9g/sleepover_at_her_orbiter/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/sleepover-at-her-orbiter.206050 https://theredarchive.com/post/206050

Comments