708,624 posts

Borderline Career Beta

Reddit View
February 22, 2017
6 upvotes

I realize I may be a borderline Career Beta and I know exactly when I started to become a Career Beta, when I left the military for a woman.

I am now 10 years later with a different woman and I am showing too many beta tendencies. I walk on eggshells around her, there is no emotion from her in the marriage, no sex, no kisses, no hugs.
She seems to only be with me for financial support With that said it wasn't always like that, and I think it can change.

She was with an alpha that pretty much treated her like shit for years and when she met me I was borderline Alpha and when we got into the relationship I immediately fell back in Beta ways.

I want to fix myself and my relationship but being a probably Career Beta I need to find a morpheus and i don't know how. I don't have hobbies or male friends anymore. I go to work and come home and sit with her while she is on her phone most of the night on instagram. If it wasn't for the gym where I life then I would have nothing outside of her and work.

Can a stranger on MRP be my Morpheus? If so how do I find the right one that is willing. I need a kick in the nuts to get this shit straight. I am not a lost cause because I was a badass at one point and I know I can be again.


Post Information
Title Borderline Career Beta
Author honusqwerty
Upvotes 6
Comments 47
Date 22 February 2017 12:14 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/206487
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/5vibzb/borderline_career_beta/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
alphabeta
Comments

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Here :

Lift heavy objects repeatedly.

Lift lighter ones until your muscles don't function.

Then go to work.

Kill at work.

Come home and make yourself some food.

Then go for a walk.

Then eat.

Then do some hobby shit.

Then go to sleep.

Do this 5 days a week.

On weekends, where it says "work" above, go do what ever makes you happy as long as its not sitting on the couch.

Earn your sleep. Earn your meals.

Earn you fucking life.

[–]CopyAndPaste20153 points4 points  (17 children) | Copy

Your story is not special, (very much like mine at the start of the MRP journey). Personally I don't think you need anyone but you. You have the lifting, (hopefully at least 4 times a week), you have the sidebar, (NMMNG, MLSLP and the rest), and you need hobbies/projects/adventures to develop yourself and the dread, (look for u/bluepillprofessor dread levels).

Your initiative and your will to survive is the only thing you need. And remember:

  1. Be atractive
  2. Don't be unatractive

If you feel stuck then use OYS weekly and askMRP.

[–]RBuddDwyerRed Beret2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

I'm going to jump in here with a slightly different take. I was you when I first started, thinking that this stuff would just get better if I had a good, masculine role model. And that makes sense. Men are geared to follow a hierarchy, and will usually defer to a stronger man who shows superior leadership skills. It's why the military works so well. Men will naturally fall into a chain of command that puts the most competent leaders at the top. (Let's not get tied down in petty discussion about bad leadership in today's military. You know from your time in that you had a natural instinct to follow certain COs who you knew had their shit together. They were the ones who you followed without reservation.) Given no external force, men will always naturally organize into a unified chain of command.

The mechanism that makes this happen is the same mechanism that makes you want to seek out a mentor. You know you can learn more effectively with a role model / mentor to look up to, to model after, to keep you in check, and to coach you with good advice. That is actually what NMMNG recommends, to get involved with more male activities and to hang out with more male friends. I think this is the best way to go about unplugging and fixing yourself. But there is one big problem with this approach.

Good luck finding a mentor. Our society has been so fucked by the FI, that it is hard to find a good mentor nowadays. Male spaces are disappearing. It's becoming increasingly difficult for men to find a place where they can just be men, with no fear of disapproval or repercussions from their maleness. And this assumes you can even find another guy who is unplugged to begin with. In all my life I have found maybe one other guy IRL that I would consider close to being Red Pill. Most everyone else is either too scared to reveal that they are Red Pilled (and rightfully so, White Knights are everywhere), or are nowhere close to even unplugging. Add to the mix the increasing prevalence of women in traditionally male spaces, and you start to forget what it even means to be a guy, or how to be a guy. Jack Donovan writes about this in his book, The Way of Men. (Which is a good read, btw.)

There are even a whole crop of guys who have never known what it is like to be a guy. I include myself in this group. I never grew up in an environment with a strong male role model. I never went hunting, I never played any real manly sports, I was essentially raised by women, having only ever had one male teacher until I got to eighth grade. By then I was already conditioned to do what I had to do to seek female approval because, well, no one ever taught me differently. "We're a generation of men raised by women." - Tyler Durden

So, what does all this mean for you? Ideally, you would get a real, live male role model to make the most of your transition. The closest you will ever come was probably while you were in the military, depending on your MOS. There is really no other place around anymore where you can experience raw, unfiltered testosterone. Sure you can come here and ask specific questions, knowing that we will break your balls because biting sarcasm and brutal insults are both pretty effective ways to shock you out of your preconditioned frame and drive home the importance of our advice, but all you are going to get from us are commentary on specific issues you bring up, and the occasional article on some general topic the author thinks is important to share with everyone else. You do not get the shared camaraderie, the shared experiences, the shared accomplishments you get when you actually do something IRL with other guys who get it and are unplugged as well. I'll make a deal with you: whoever finds where all the Red Pill guys are IRL first, tells the other.

[–]JDRoedellRed Beret0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Al true. The closest I've come to this was my time at the all boys high school I attended which had many male RP teachers and my fraternity in college. Even in my current field of profession, which was traditionally a very masculine job, I see the influence of the FI (mostly in the form of different physical fitness standard being applied to women who are expected to carry out the same duties as the men). Other than that, we have male sports leagues, drinks with the fellas and poker nights. Even at these things though you're more likely to hear "happy wife, happy life" than any RP rhetoric. Am I missing anything?

[–]RBuddDwyerRed Beret1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Even at these things though you're more likely to hear "happy wife, happy life" than any RP rhetoric. Am I missing anything?

No, you are just seeing proof that most guys are still plugged in, and deeply plugged in. We've been conditioned by years of FI programming on tv, movies, media, you name it. Everybody Loves Raymond wound up being the main source of how a man should be in a family for a decade. Home Improvement before that, and countless other sitcoms before that. Think about it. What did the current crop of men grow up in? Decades of relative peace, TV, divorce, women in the workforce, the rise of third wave feminism, you name it. Tyler Durden sums up the sentiment here. (Although where I think Palahniuk and Fincher miss it with this scene is by blaming only consumerism and not feminism. But the conclusion is correct.) Where I am, the main culprit is the overt feminization and pedestalization of women in Christianity. (Or more accurately, Churchianity.) Dalrock has done a great job covering all of this.

This is where we find ourselves. Guys are so far infected with the FI frame that they do not even realize what is going on. Men have been conditioned to actually think this way. It's a lot of what my problem was. My thinking, my beliefs, my entire worldview was wrong. I suspect it's the same for a lot of guys, which is why you see the guys at poker night repeating, "happy wife, happy life." They are so programmed, they are so shell shocked, they are so scared and desperate to stability in their worldview (prioritizing stability over correctness) that they don't even see it. Right now, the best you can do is just triage. And I think it will continue that way, low and slow, until there is some big defining event to shock everyone out of it. Until we have our big war, like Tyler says.

So what do we do, us men who managed to stumble on the truth and unplug? We change the only thing we have power to change, ourselves. We improve ourselves. We improve our lives. We lead our families. We preserve This Thing of Ours and make sure it survives into the next generation. That way our descendants can be ready to bring masculinity back into the world when the time is right again.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

my entire worldview was wrong. I suspect it's the same for a lot of guys, which is why you see the guys at poker night repeating, "happy wife, happy life." They are so programmed, they are so shell shocked, they are so scared and desperate to stability in their worldview

As probably the oldest (living) poster here, I completely agree. I have been over two years trying to accept and change my world view. Age is not a help in this. Rollo's post on his 70 year old friend's "anger" hits really close to home for me.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good point. It takes a long, long time for some of us to come out of wrongthinking. A long time. Habits are formed, lifestyles accustomed to, deeply entrenched mental and emotional responses that are almost reflexive.

Takes a long long time to recondition that. A few weekends per year alone, away from home are good for this.

[–]JDRoedellRed Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

until we have our big war.

I think this is spot on. Part of the reason the FI has been so powerful and entrenched in our society is because life has become too easy. I'm not saying I don't appreciate some of the conveniences and comforts we are blessed with today but they are definitely responsible for the weakening of men.

People don't realize how thin the veil of civility and modern infrastructure is. My wife griped at me for buying a generator. I like to be prepared. People have no fucking clue how quickly some kind of disruptive disaster or large war could end all of our conveniences, like within days we would have no groceries, no working gas pumps, no electricity and no smart phones or even land lines. Don't worry, the police will protect you... NOPE, they'll be at home protecting their families. I like to watch The Walking Dead as a reminder of this. If you watch it you know the plot is about 3 years post apocalyptic event and the only people still alive are pretty hardened and ruthless. The "Great War" could be anything that shatters this thin veneer of civilization. Unfortunately I think only something scary like this will ever be able to end the FI and weak state of masculinity we have today.

Triaging is a good way to look at it. I have friends that MAYBE could be brought into the light and others I know there's no fucking hope for.

[–]RBuddDwyerRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Just look at what happened in Katrina, and that was just one city where everyone knew the rest of the country would come in to help.

[–]JDRoedellRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly my point. We ain't seen nothing yet but these isolated disasters give you a sense of what would happen

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

The military is designed to build better betas...

Sidebar, no one is going to spoonfeed you. Post your shit here, in public, check your ego, and get to work. Unless you were air force, you should already know about lifting

[–]sexyshoulderdevil75% Liquid Sarcasm1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The MRP Collective is your Morpheus.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you are lucky enough to find a Morpheus that is ideal. One actually found me and I found mrp after which backed up everything he said.

That being said three aren't many of them around in my experience.

Look for the guy that says things others won't in front of wives. Look for the guy who isn't afraid to say get fucked to annoying people. Then make friends with him if possible.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Book of Pook

Get over needing a task master to whip yourself into shape. If you aren't going to do it for yourself, on your own, life will be reduced to jerking off to porn in an apartment by yourself.

Let us know what path you choose

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

No one is interested in being your crutch. The guy to scream at you to improve. The guy to encourage you to keep improving. They're all here. The guys who want to share what they've learned...they're all on the sidebar.

Make yourself worth our while...get started.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

Unfuck your life.

There's nothing more to it.

You don't need Morpheus or a special treatment plan and you aren't unique in any way because you were in the military.

Everybody used to be somebody, how about you become somebody today.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Nobody needs a kick in the nuts. Stop being lazy and asking us to fix you. You know what you need to do, go do that.

You're getting fit? great.

Go be interesting, pursue some sort of hobby that interests you.

When your wife is also being interesting, take her out. Show her a good time. When she's loafing about being a scroll addict on instagram, ignore her.

[–]JDRoedellRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Start by not sitting idly by while she finger fucks her phone. My wife knows I don't like when she does it too much around me. Sometimes I'll remove my presence when she gets on her phone. And do what then? What do you enjoy? Get some hobbies. Have some you can do in the house and have others that require you to leave. Don't just sit there every night.

[–]johnnycakeAK0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You need a hobby. You have two choices, and these are available everywhere:

  1. Hunting
  2. Fishing AND Hunting

Do both, but if not do hunting and not fishing. Don't know where to start? Find the state where you live's department of wildlife/fish/game/whatever and read. Find a hunter's education course, enroll and attend--not online, do the class in person. This gets you out of the house and provides opportunity to meet real people that already kill stuff for fun. After the course, buy a gun or five and any licenses necessary and start literally bringing dead animals home to cook for your woman.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2020. All rights reserved.

created by /u/dream-hunter