Random RP Thoughts

PhantomDream09 · 2017-01-25T18:36:26+00:00

There's an odd dichotomy that seems to exist where "either a woman is perfect/prim/feminine/boring or she's rude/masculine/attention seeking/whorish" and it's bothersome. It's not "either prude or fun person to be around." Personality/ability to be fun and femininity are not mutually exclusive in any way shape or form. Feminine women can be boring, or fun. Just as unfeminine women can be boring, or fun. Your proximity to femininity has little to do with how popular, interesting, and fun to be around you are. Similarly, femininity is in no way a sign of weakness or spinelessness.

violetpiecrisis · 2017-01-26T01:13:46+00:00

I've been doing a lot of thinking about being a RPW lately, especially because I have a daughter on the way. I'm trying to think about how I am going to lead her by example, and be the type of woman I want her to be.

I've noticed that in the BP world there seems to be so much dependency on a kind of validation culture. Every small inconvenience is aired and parroted in this self pity echo chamber that I'm becoming more and more fed up with being around. I found RPW to be much more positive and genuinely encouraging. I wonder why being insecure and whiney is so en vogue all of a sudden, despite an insistence that being "empowered" brings so much "confidence"?

I'm finding that the way I want to present myself, my home, and my lifestyle is becoming more and more important to me. I'm trying to find a balanced place. I want to be able to show pride in my choices and self, without being proud. But, I do find myself internally tutting at others like a sour old lady. Does anyone else struggle with keeping a dignified mentality without the detestable sense of superiority? I'm actively trying to learn the discipline needed here.

Camille11325 · 2017-01-25T17:47:08+00:00

M and I just started watching Narcos (no spoilers!) and I've been thinking about how so many hypermasculine men don't have many legitimate avenues in civilized societies.

Those that are born in certain classes can go into politics, business, and other fields that allow them to use their strengths. Those who have athletic talent can go into sports. And then of course there are the armed forces and high risk blue collar jobs. But what about the men who have aggression, ambition, leadership skills, a strategic mind, DT traits, etc but can't do any of those things? It isn't surprising at all that they'd form gangs, mafias, and other similar organisations and try to run the local neighborhoods. These men are wired to be tribal leaders and society is organised in a way where people don't have as much power on the local level. Both Narcos and The Wire show just how sophisticated the organization of these drug empires were. The men who led them were brilliant - creating essentially their own government, economy, and culture.

Yes there are people who are just evil, and also people who do evil things. I'm not a fan of the terror that many criminals and criminal organizations create amongst their own people. But I still feel so much compassion for hypermasculine men who are basically displaced from their own cultures due to technological advancements, new political structures, and systems with rules that penalize their character.

mabeol · 2017-01-25T21:49:47+00:00

A conversation with my IRL bestie got me to thinking about privacy and the degree to which we discuss our SOs and our relationships with others.

I’ve noticed that I virtually never talk about my relationship with my current SO with my friends. I tell cute stories and share good things when prompted, but I don’t discuss the nitty gritty. In the past, I would have looong drawn-out conversations about my relationship with many people in search of… I don’t know, validation, advice, drama, whatever. Now, I am extremely private about my relationship, only sharing more intimate details with very specific people for very specific reasons.

This is a massive shift for me. I have a number of theories as to why I’ve changed this behavior. Perhaps it’s one, perhaps it’s all of them. Curious to get your thoughts.

I discovered RPW a few months after my current SO and I started dating. (So… /list, am I right?)
My SO and I have very, very few issues in our relationship. On the contrary, my ex and I were constantly having problems (he had a lot of problems and very poor emotional management skills), and I always turned to friends for support and help because I couldn't deal with how destructive he was on my own.
My SO is very admirable and mature. I have a tremendous amount of respect for him and thus find myself being more protective of his privacy. Looking back, I can see that I had very little respect for my ex, since he did not have his shit together and I never felt like I could trust or be proud of him. As a result, I didn’t respect his privacy much and thus shared more details about our relationship with others. (I’m not saying my lack of respect for his privacy was justified. This is merely an observation). Both this and #2 may speak to improved vetting skills.
I trust very few people to offer good advice or make sound judgment calls about my relationship anymore. My IRL bestie (who introduced me to RPW and is The Best) and my mother are practically the only ones who offer counsel based on what they know to be true about me and my relationship versus their own preferences (though their preferences often align with mine!). I straight up do not talk about my SO to particular friends because I know their advice is terrible and grounded in (blue pill?) nonsense and their own insecurities.

I’m sure I could add more, but TL;DR: I think the shift in my behavior regarding relationship privacy is a result of finding RPW and finding a good partner; I’m not sure the shift would’ve been as dramatic had only one of these things taken place.

Does anyone else have thoughts about the interplay between privacy and RPW in theory and, if you’re comfortable sharing observations, in your relationship? What you've noticed, how you've changed, etc?

ThatStepfordGal · 2017-01-25T16:15:45+00:00

I am not 100% sure on this one and I don't think it applies well but it was a passing thought. Isn't Melania Trump sort of RP in her behavior? She's quite supportive of Trump, elegant, feminine, knows how to speak her mind but isn't overbearing and she's an amazing mother to Barron. Though I will think more on this.

Littlewifey · 2017-01-25T18:33:34+00:00

I've finished reading The Surrendered Wife and I realized one thing that goes not only for romantic relationships but for pretty much every type of relationship.

For every story, there are two points of view. It's too easy to point out what's wrong without trying to rationalize why.

It's easy to be self-centered and forget that if something sucks for us, it can suck even more for our SO.

So with this, I'm much more aware that just because my SO does something "wrong", it's easier to just nag than to breathe once and twice and try to see what could cause him to act a certain way.

For example, lack of coming to me for sex wasn't a lack of attraction but rather a tiredness of constant sexual rejection, lack of communication was a fear of being criticized and also a fear of rejection (oh so often I would ignore him! :/), so many issues were just caused by me being so self absorbed by work, chores, expectations and what not.

So yeah, just be do your best to be a better girlfriend and wife and read Laura Doyle's books because she has so much advice to give on so many things we might not even think about.

BTW I'm sorry if this is super obvious for most of you but as these are my first serious steps into changing my relationship, I acknowledge I was bad and I still am often.

Reading her book also helped me realize that it's OK not to get it right everytime.

At first I was really overwhelmed coming on here because everyone seemed to have their thing together but now I realize many started at a lower point than me and others started from a very healthier relationship and that's great about coming here because there's so many advice to be given.

Icouldrun4smiles · 2017-01-26T04:17:44+00:00

Reading First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors by Laura Doyle, and I am pleasantly surprised by how awesome it is. I am ruminating on the idea that women have the power in the relationship to keep it a pleasant, emotionally safe place. I am early on in the book, just chapter 3, so far only one of the six skills has been discussed. It's very basic, but this idea of taking responsibility for your own happiness instead of trying to change your circumstances, job, friends, and other external factors is a bit new to me. And yes, I know this concept is covered thoroughly in RP posts, but I guess the way Laura explains it is what makes it hit home for me. So excited to keep reading and see what else it says.

vanBeethovenLudwig · 2017-01-26T07:24:12+00:00

I notice that my female friends that have "guy friends" (even if they did not have any sexual history) tend to be single for the reason that they have a more difficult time feeling ANY romance with men.I have a feeling seeing men in general as friends or "equals" instead of a leader leads to unsuccessful dating.

Another example is my flatmate who always has some sort of casual relationship going on with a variety of men. She always refers to them as "friends," even when I call him"your boyfriend" she always counters with "oh he's just a friend." I found it strange because if I were bringing a man back to my apartment, we're either dating/courting or he's my boyfriend. She never seems to want to use the word "dating" or "seeing each other." It just makes me think that the way you view these relationships has an effect on the outcome - if you still see the man as a friend and can't admit to dating him...it's going to stay that way.

Title	Random RP Thoughts
Author	RPWives
Upvotes	10
Comments	70
Date	January 25, 2017 4:06 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/5q3zwe/random_rp_thoughts/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/random-rp-thoughts.209190 https://theredarchive.com/post/209190

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