"You're being very touchy-feely."

ComplexProjection · 2019-04-24T10:00:22+00:00

Anecdote:A girl once told me, while I was unhooking her bra "wow, you are a quick one". I answered without changing what I was doing "stop me whenever you want". 10min later I was balls-deep in her.

That how you should have reacted.

Now she hardnexted you so no problem, just be better with the next one.

FuckboyAWALT · 2019-04-24T09:34:48+00:00

So you’re backing of because she’s saying you are touchy? She didn’t even tell you to stop.

Wow, gotta work on your frame.

Next time either ignore or spin her and continue with what you were doing.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2019-04-24T12:47:52+00:00

”Yeah...and?”

”Be worried when I don’t want to touch you.”

She may have been signaling you to dial it down a bit, and instead you went full “rape crisis” mode. She didn’t say “no”, she didn’t say “stop”, etc and you dried her pussy right out.

Ohboohoolittlegirl · 2019-04-24T10:22:48+00:00

"I didn't think you'd want me any other way" and continue what you are doing.
You cockblocked yourself cause you are too much in your own head.

ColdBeing · 2019-04-24T17:20:03+00:00

Next time someone says that, say and do: "Touchy Feely?" "This is Touchy Feely" Pull her close. Kiss her. If she hasn't pushed you away, grab her ass

cluelessguitarist · 2019-04-24T16:53:34+00:00

She went to your house bro, she knows whats the deal, live and learn man.

FereallyRed · 2019-04-24T16:17:02+00:00

"Yes."

Continue as if nothing was said.

You cockblocked yourself.

NightwingTRP · 2019-04-24T11:19:19+00:00

Stroking hands is gay as fuck. It's something a grandma does to a child to reassure them. You're supposed to be pushing her slightly outside of comfort, give her an emotional rush. Betas provide comfort and reassurance.

Responses to a touchy feely comment.... hmmm

"Testing out the goods is important business practice for a modern man in the dating world."

Or "I haven't decided just how touchy I might get yet."

maybe "I feel everybody all over, even the guys" if you're cocky enough to pull that sort of A&A off.

I'd probably go with something like this "Heterosexual girl dislikes the male touch. That's a new one, are you always this nervous and weird around guys you like?" Seem amused by this. The subtext of this one is all about "your social skills aren't very good love, you gonna keep being that weird girl who doesn't know how to test men without scaring them off?" I tend to go with stuff like this because it reasserts frame, throws in a bit of a neg and makes her start trying to justify herself to you. Calling a girl's actions weird is a good social skills neg to remember, but you need to have the confidence and DGAF attitude to pull it off. Though don't do it with insecure girls, they'll disqualify themselves as a social precaution thinking they've been found out which obviously ends everything on the spot.

MattyAnon · 2019-04-24T15:59:03+00:00

What is a good response to that kind of shit test?

Immediately stop doing it, smirk and say "you love it". (It's important to stop at the same time).

Most likely she's a waste of time and it's not worth continuing.

started awkwardly stroking her hands

Have you ever, in all the history of male advice to men on getting laid, ever seen or heard ANYTHING.... EVER.... that suggested hand stroking?

That sounds creepy as fuck.

Basically to escalate: forwards/backwards. Quick shoulder touch, then don't touch. Then shoulder moving to sides. THEN STOP. Then sides and pull her round a bit. THEN STOP.

Continue like this until sex.

the13thmonk · 2019-04-24T16:19:09+00:00

Laugh. Ignore. Don't acknowledge. Stop touching her to the point it's making her uncomfortable. Continue escalating when she becomes comfortable.

Two steps forward one step back.

Nighthawkdragon8 · 2019-04-24T19:46:22+00:00

You shouldn't be "trying to make your move" wtf. It should happen organically, or she should start touching you first. Wait for more indications of interest, and escalate her emotionally before trying to get "touchy feely"

kaolin224 · 2019-04-24T14:50:46+00:00

"You're being very touchy-feely. "

You bet your ass I am. I didn't invite you to my place for civil conversation and a gourmet, home cooked meal; we could have gone to a movie and Cracker Barrel for that. I only cook like this for someone I really like.

I'm trying to seduce you... and after we're done eating I'd like to do things to you that are illegal in 42 States.

Until then, make yourself at home.

RedPillAlphaBigCock · 2019-04-24T18:05:42+00:00

its not what you done - the problem was YOU REACTED - All you had do was say "yea"

no need to escalate quicker - just do it more naturally when it feels right

TRP8myfeels · 2019-04-24T17:36:18+00:00

"You are irresistible" with a smile.

If she doesn't want you to touch her she should get the fuck out and lose your number.

Next.

You should NOT rush to escalate quicker. Every situation is different and you want to play it cool as a cucumber. Awkwardly stroking her hands probably did do it. I once rubbed my head between a womans legs during a movie because I was so scared to escalate any further. Obviously she enjoyed it but it was uncomfortable and strange as fuck.

Cold feet is a problem. If you act out of character and don't give a typical expected experience, they can feel strange and out of place. You just push through it and pretend like there is no tension and diffuse the strangeness whenever it comes, laugh it off or change the subject or tell a joke or tell her you aren't feeling it and maybe she should go.

It's better you signal it's time for her to go then for her to come to that point. Always be alright with it, never do it because you are emotionally unhappy, you just, see that it's time to do something else and she's not invited anymore.

GirTheRobot · 2019-04-25T00:01:43+00:00

Agree and amplify

"What makes you say that?!" begin touching her everywhere, grabbing her cheeks, hair, arms at that point she should be giggling like a schoolgirl

TheFredP1ll · 2019-04-24T19:55:21+00:00

Wow this totally blew up, thanks for the advice everyone!

RedHoodhandles · 2019-04-24T20:18:14+00:00

For future shit tests, just react like this guy. Unshakeable frame.

dontbeanasshole777 · 2019-04-24T22:30:45+00:00

Keep frame, say yes and continue whatever you started.

HurricaneHugues · 2019-04-25T01:57:23+00:00

"This could have possibly been avoided if I'd gone for the kiss 5 minutes earlier. But I got cold feet and started awkwardly stroking her hands, which probably prompted the comment."

SolidLiquidGasPlasma · 2019-04-24T10:00:46+00:00

Cause your verbal game either sucks, or you should clean up. That’s why you go over to the girls house, girls like fucking on their soft clean sheets

maljo24 · 2019-04-24T13:34:53+00:00

She’s telling you she’s not comfortable with a physical relationship yet.

"You're being very touchy-feely."

Comments

metoo movement

"This could have possibly been avoided if I'd gone for the kiss 5 minutes earlier. But I got cold feet and started awkwardly stroking her hands, which probably prompted the comment."

Title	"You're being very touchy-feely."
Author	TheFredP1ll
Upvotes	54
Comments	75
Date	April 24, 2019 9:27 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/bgsirq/youre_being_very_touchyfeely/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/youre-being-very-touchy-feely.235957 https://theredarchive.com/post/235957