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What is a man's mission?

by go-RED-go | May 23, 2019 | askMRP

24 upvotes

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I'm having a difficulty understanding and identifying what is my mission and what is a "man's mission" in general.

I've read in quite a few different sources about importance of having/following a mission as a man.

To live a life to his full potential, man should have his mission a priority. 

On the other hand, a woman, to live a life to her full potential, should have her relationship and children her priority.

How do you identify a "mission"? 

Is mission always (or often) = your professional career?

Or is it something totally independent from, but can overlap with career?

Is mission something big, that lasts a lifetime, or is it something that lasts in particular life period? 

Can you have 2 or more "parallel" missions at the same time?

Does the mission have to be something really impactful to the world around you , leaving it a better place when you die. And is stuff like being the best man you can be and improve every day something too vague to be called a mission?

Is your mission always something that's hard and that scares you? Is your mission something that fulfills you or can it be something that you hate but just know you have to do?

I know pussy should never be a mission, and your marriage is also not equal to your mission. How about your kids? Is this also something that doesn't count as man's mission?

How do know that you are on the right mission? Do you feel it by emotion? Do you know it logically? Do you have to go in the damn forest and spend few days alone meditating until you get an epiphany? 

Any insights or examples should be helpful.


Post Information
Title What is a man's mission?
Author go-RED-go
Upvotes 24
Comments 39
Date 23 May 2019 06:59 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/239365
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/bs6tst/what_is_a_mans_mission/
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[–]shouldergirdle9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

I just finished posting this as a response to OYS at Marriedredpill.

Your mission evolves over time. It changes as you learn and grow and mature as a person.

Here is how to identify your mission: Identify the people that you see around you that exhibit some positive characteristics that you admire. For example, I want to be as jacked as that dude in the gym with the red shorts, I want to be as confident as the that guy that says hi to me in church, that guy at the bank has the best job in the world, that father at the soccer game is the best father I have ever seen. Study those people. Define the characteristics that you admire. Now think of yourself as the amalgamation of all the people that you admire." I'm a jacked guy, I'm confident, have a great job at the bank and I'm the best father. " Now make a plan to start taking small incremental steps each day to acquire those characteristics that you admire.

  1. Talk up the dude at the gym and figure out what program he is on. Get him to be your workout buddy.
  2. Resolve to chit chat with the receptionist at work for 1 minute each day to work on your social skills.
  3. Research job openings at the bank
  4. etc, etc, etc

Make a plan of improvement and work away at it relentlessly day after day. Your mission is to become the amalgamation of those people that you admire. Start doing things, start the struggle. The more you do the the clearer your mission will become.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

These are all examples of goals. Getting jacked, getting a better job, being a great father.. they could form part of your mission but they are goals.

Caleb Jones, "Unchained Man" has excellent chapters on missions and goals. Well worth a read.

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy

A mission statement should embody a specific direction and quantifiable objectives and approach. Your personal mission statement is for your own consumption only, so write one at a level that speaks to you, but make sure that it's a useful guide that helps you prioritize and focus your actions toward quantifiable, meaningful objectives.

Examples of missions:

  • Become the CEO of my company.

  • Create a highly profitable online business selling X.

  • Lead young men to Christ by developing and leading a year-round sports program.

  • Compete in masters weightlifting competitions.

  • Develop a new drug that commercially and meaningfully increases prostate cancer life expectancy.

Avoid vague personal-attribute pabulum like "Be a good leader in life" or "to cultivate and sustain meaningful relationships by constantly bringing value" or "Be true. Be reliable. Be indifferent. Be impactful. Be missed." These are non-missions that frameless career-beta followers write, because they have been so entirely ensconced in other peoples' frames, visions and objectives for their entire lives that they can't even conceive of having their own objectives that aren't given to them by some higher authority. They can only imagine becoming a better beta to be used by some leader who actually has a mission.

[–]redwall922 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

These are non-missions that frameless career-beta followers write, because they have been so entirely ensconced in other peoples' frames, visions and objectives for their entire lives that they can't even conceive of having their own objectives that aren't given to them by some higher authority. They can only imagine becoming a better beta to be used by some leader who actually has a mission.

Zinger-and-a-half, that one is. Amazingly well-put.

[–]slams0n 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Suck my balls.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret[M] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Banned.

[–]RPeed0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

increases prostate cancer life expectancy.

some Bond villain shit right here.

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

The purpose is to identify the thing(s) that YOU feel make you a high value man. Generally you do that by envisioning what things would you be doing if you weren’t worrying about your relationship or getting enough pussy. Sometimes it’s financial reward from your career (I can’t take that promotion because Wife wouldn’t want to relocate) or from your hobby that you could turn into your career (people always want to pay me to take photos and I’d like it to be my business, but Wife does t want me to take the risk).

While this sub is focused on ways to get what you want AND stay with this one women, there is a healthy driving component that asks “if you aren’t with the Best woman today, what things would you change about yourself to enjoy life and attract the better woman?” It’s different than thinking “I need to do things to attract a woman so I feel like I’m valuable”. The women come BECAUSE you finally have value.

Many men chose the wrong women to marry (before cognition) and now they’re backwards factoring their life in order to “make it work”. But if you free yourself (mentally or physically) from constantly trying to put a square peg in a round hole, it is that point of awareness that you can make intelligent and accurate decisions.

[–]hack3geRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Many men chose the wrong women to marry (before cognition) and now they’re backwards factoring their life in order to “make it work”. But if you free yourself (mentally or physically) from constantly trying to put a square peg in a round hole, it is that point of awareness that you can make intelligent and accurate decisions.

Fuck I needed this today - thanks.

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Is mission always (or often) = your professional career?

Not always. It might be related. For example, you may be able to contribute to your mission as part of your job.

Or is it something totally independent from, but can overlap with career?

Possible; some of mine are like this.

Is mission something big, that lasts a lifetime, or is it something that lasts in particular life period?

Could be either.

Can you have 2 or more "parallel" missions at the same time?

Yes.

Does the mission have to be something really impactful to the world around you, leaving it a better place when you die.

No.

And is stuff like being the best man you can be and improve every day something too vague to be called a mission?

These are personal attributes, not missions.

Is your mission always something that's hard and that scares you?

No.

Is your mission something that fulfills you or can it be something that you hate but just know you have to do?

Could be either.

How about your kids?

Having a family and raising my kids to successful, independent adults was one of my missions. But it can't be your only one.

How do know that you are on the right mission? Do you feel it by emotion? Do you know it logically?

I feel it emotionally, but evaluate my performance logically to retune or abandon missions I can't succeed at.

[–]tap09885344 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Mission goes beyond specific objectives.

A Mission might to be reach peak vocation. Specific objectives might include subjugating the Mongolian hordes, or acquiring advanced skill and knowledge in a discipline.

Your marriage and kids are not your mission, but being the best possible Captain of your family definitely is. This means taking responsibility for and ensuring optimal education, finances, food, shelter, transportation, social engagement, etcetera.

While pussy is not a mission, many guys come here and develop a mission because they recognize that women do not sexually submit to them. I think the mission is ultimately to become the kind of elevated man that women sexually submit to and desire have his babies. I would even put this more at the core than a mission. This is the ultimate evolutionary goal, to procreate as much as possible. Being a top man is intrinsically connected to virility, sexual dominance, and fatherhood. Pussy for its own sake is not a mission, because then we would just be working to earn enough money to buy it off the street.

At the core of manhood, the true mission is to be the ideal man in all aspects of life, in order that all women sexually submit to you and you are able to procreate as much as possible.

Is your mission always something that's hard and that scares you? Is your mission something that fulfills you or can it be something that you hate but just know you have to do?

Invariably, top men do not play it safe, shrinking away from hard things will never make you the best man that you can be. That said, your mission goes beyond any specific thing that you do, and is more about who you are. Does a top man ever give up? Does he ever lay down in a fight? Does he ever take the easy road to mediocrity? Does he squander his time and resources?

Does the mission have to be something really impactful to the world around you , leaving it a better place when you die.

Every time a milkmaid milks a cow, she leaves the world a better place by selling valuable nutritious milk to people who eagerly need it. Apart from the desire to do harm and foment evil, being a top man will invariably leave the world a better place, and by nature of your DNA and resources you create and protect life: children and grandchildren, and great-children. These are the fruit of your manliness every time a woman submits her whole self to you and bears your children.

Your seed will transform the world until the day your line dies out.

[–]Whatev222 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your mission is your personal guide book to help you make daily decisions and what habits you adopt. How do you allocate your time? Who do you give attention to? What decisions are you making today?

It needs to resonate within you. It gives you the strength to say no, or be an asshole. It helps you set and defend your boundaries.

Start small, with the simple truths you feel absolutely secure with: for instance ‘I want to see more money coming into my life than leaving it’.

Let it grow over time and be something that is your creation. Let it be achievable.

[–]becoming_alpha1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

My overarching theme is to be my best self and live my best life, I think that could be the same for every man. But I need more details than that so my mission is broken down into 4 areas: family, personal, physical, and career.

  • In family my mission is around leading the family, having a plan, setting the tone (fun), and developing deep relationships with each member.
  • My personal mission is around being engaging, informed, well-read, and traveled, developing my hobbies, continual improvement, and being my own judge.
  • Physical is to reach my physical potential and be strong.
  • Career is to be financially independent and climb the ladder while balancing the rest of my mission.

Those are pretty high-level, but they're who I am. Every year I set specific SMART goals in each area and go after them with a vengeance. I'm killing my career goals for the year but kind of coasting physically. Personal and family goals doing good. That's my approach, YMMV.

[–]ibelieveican19821 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Finally a worthwhile question...

A mission is something that is personal and unique to you. Something that you feel passionate about...

Read the Unchained Man.. It will help a lot in building out a mission.. at the least give you some ideas on what a mission is.. and how you can go about figuring out what it is.. It will take time.. No rush.. build on it...

For example, below is mine which I put together a few weeks after reading the Unchained Man.. I will work on this and fine tune it as necessary but this is the crux of it.

I will own a firm generating 10 million dollars in profit by Apr 20th 2029. I will USE my knowledge in trading to achieve this. Via ‘ABC', ‘XYZ’ and finally my own site/firm AND Trading profits. I will follow my systematic mechanical systems without making emotional decisions in order to achieve my goals. I will be a man worth following. I will lead my family, live in my frame, not allow ego to cloud my judgement. A man who decides his own mindset at all times, who is happy and fun and also influences others also to join his frame and vision.

I put a 10 year plan on it so I have a timeframe to work toward and also a $ figure so that I have a tangible value to work toward. From this mission, I can build/outline my goals and work my way up from there. I have my goals all also outlined out, tracked based on a timeframe... But the mission drives it all..

Now, while mine is $ based, yours does not have to be... It will depend on you.. It is highly personal so remember above is just an example for you...

[–]hack3geRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I will be a man worth following

Just be careful on this - it sets you up to validate your self worth based on others.

[–]ibelieveican19820 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Valid point. Thanks for the feedback.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

I'm wondering the same , I just finished with the Rational Male and everything looks so clear yet It's so confusing. Almost like i'm happy but i'm a nihilist

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

I listened to that on Audible. Sounds like it was read by a retarded robot. Christ, it was painful listening.

[–]RPeed0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Great book but kudos to anyone that didn't need a dictionary and a highlighter.

No way I could have listened to it.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

I didn't like it all - I found the writing style pompous and the tone relentless. Maybe I'm a bit thick, but I think if it was half the length and written in plain English it would be miles better.

[–]RPeed1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I'm on the fence about the language. Something I've learned here is other people put a great deal of stock in very precise language. I live in a world where "it's not what you say, it's how" gets pushed to extremes and have learned something from that approach.

That being said, there is no way to describe what most people learn in High School with $10 words and not sound pompous.

Also all this stuff about MRA and divorce-rape is just noise to me but I liked the "positive masculinity", "high value male" essays like the Burden of Performance.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

The Burden of Performance is written in plain English, plus it's short and to the point. Most of RM isn't and a lot of the message gets lost because of that. When you listen to Rollo speak, he's much more to the point and plain speaking than his writings - when he writes it's almost like he pains to make himself sound important which - imo - weakens the argument rather than strengthens it.

[–]hack3geRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I found this to be true too - it wasn’t until I tried to distill what he wrote into more pointed ideas and arguments that I found the true value of RM. It is a shame because many will miss out on some very foundational concepts.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This post should help get you started, but ultimately you have to answer these questions for yourself.

[–]go-RED-go[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Thanks for all the comments. Seems I have a lot of reading in front of me.

[–]RPeed1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I think the risk of reading about missions is you can't help but get wrapped up in other people's ideas.

One of the most illustrative examples of mission would be the cheat meal subs in reddit like r/whoadude or some documentary about a fringe hobby on the History channel.

Example, I saw a trailer the other day for some rockclimbing biopic that blew my mind. Some young guy - early thirties, no more - attempting to climb up some huge sheer cliff in Yosemite.

I know on Reddit there's a risk this will get brigaded by "real" rockclimbers that say that their one legged, diabetic grandmother climbs that cliff everyday to work but what I was thinking was: man he must have loved rockclimbing from a young age.

He must have climbed his fucking balls off everyday for a long time. He must have blown off other peoples shit, school shit, career shit, health shit, just to get it done. He must have lost count of the number of times people said "when you gonna drop this climbing thing and get a real job man". I mean he must have the odd doubt and the odd shitty day but the fact is, 350 days of the year he probably climbed or thought about climbing just about every minute of the day.

And now he must have peers that would fucking love to have this movie made about them but he is good enough to have earned it. He has demonstrably enough resources to live off it. He even has a hot girlfriend begging him not to risk his cock up that mountain.

Fuck that is a man on the purest form of mission: a retarded one.

Something that shapes his entire existence and so deeply personal that not one fucker could possibly get the risk and sacrifice except him.

[–]BarracudaRP0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

WOTSM has some ideas on mission that have helped me:

Missions can be imperfect, shallow and/or disposable. Missions can be like the layers of an onion, each serving a purpose, but ultimately to be discarded in pursuit of the next one.

[–]ExpatRights0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You have to define it for yourself

[–]meetinnovatorsadrian0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

[–]RPeed1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

A friend of mine read that a while back. I had read it many years ago and had to ask them to confirm something important I couldn't reconcile with the actual life experience I had accumulated:

was it just me, or is that book complete garbage?

It's a beautifully written book about harrowing experiences. Which boils down to a philosophy of saying "it's all good".

After my friend confirmed this was the case, I was curious enough to research (read: Wikipedia) Frankl a little. Perhaps unsurprisingly, smarter men than I had trashed it and actually accused him of being a Nazi sympathizer, collaborator and apologist.

Either way, it is the "Build a Better Beta" bible #extremeownershipII

[–]2741-2 points-1 points  (2 children) | Copy

Pick nihilism or pick production, pick right brain or left brain.

There is no God because it doesn't make sense that all laws of the universe follow neat mathematical equations except one which is made by a superlative personality-ed being.

If supreme reality is consciousness, why don't all psilocybin users become monks?

[–]RPeed0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Do you think that individual words and sentences encapsulate distinct, non-fungible, arguments?

Or do they just mean what you want them to mean?

[–]27410 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The former.

[–]2741-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Epiphanies are the elaboration in words of groundshaking alterations in neural priority assignments burnt in by a major experience. Epiphanies need "time spent alone reflecting in the forest" to grow forth and appear.

Examples of major experiences: great prolonged suffering. Getting in touch with Ultimate One-ness through taking psilocybin. An experience which convinces oneself that one could die tomorrow.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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