Too ugly for my ltr

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July 18, 2019

So I been in a ltr for a year now, we both enjoy each other. She’s a Latina flight attendant (8/10) she gets showered with compliments, guys hitting on her. I on the other hand just a simple dude, I lift and decently groomed. 3x girls that she talked to said I was ugly Or: “that’s him..?” Being called ugly just makes me feel ugly and sad, I know I should have a idgaf attitude and after she told me I did stay quiet and pretend idgaf, but deep down it hurts to be called ugly or that knowing girls tell her that about me, girls she didn’t even know (from her training). What is the best way for me personally to take this or react to this, because honestly it hurts being called “ugly”.

Post Information
Title Too ugly for my ltr
Author law_of_life
Upvotes 122
Comments 98
Date 18 July 2019 04:25 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Original Link
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Red Pill terms found in post:
long term relationshiplift

[–]throwitdownman156 points157 points  (9 children) | Copy

Don’t worry. I know a FEW hot women who, when I saw a photo of her boyfriend, me and all my friends (guys and girls) would go “wow, that’s him?”.

SMV is subjective - she’s with you for a reason. If she likes you for whatever reason, go with it EVEN IF it is not ‘traditional’ (ex: handsome, stable).

I know hot girls with a guy with a pretty bad visible skin condition (IMO attracted as he does drugs), another with a fat man (who’s rich and has a IDGAF mentality), and a hot girl who dates a guy a whole head shorter than her.

Call it a kink, or whatever, but the fact that you GOT her while others can’t means you are worth while.

[–]Fuktiga_mejmejs26 points27 points  (2 children) | Copy

This. Also you can't be that ugly, i mean that was just 3 girls or whatever that's just their opinions.

[–]hmsthinkingmeat26 points27 points  (1 child) | Copy

You know what girls are like - they are probably jealous of her being hotter than them so take any opportunity they can to put her down.

"Some people try to look taller by cutting the heads off other people"

Or (more likely in my opinion) she's saying this to you (i.e. it didn't happen) to put you down and manipulate you into doing what she wants/allowing her to behave how she wants - because if she can smash your self esteem you'll be worried you'll never get anyone as hot as her, so will let her do anything to be able to keep her.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You know what girls are like - they are probably jealous of her being hotter than them so take any opportunity they can to put her down.

The correct answer.

[–]ILiveforcakes9907 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

listen to this man OP and lift your head up

[–]Lib-Tears-in-my-cup4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

Don’t forget that women also have a crabs-in-a-bucket mentality.

Also, if your chick sees something in you that they don’t see, it throws off their hamster wheel.

[–]AquinasAurelius 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

What does that mean? Sees something that they dont see?

[–]Lib-Tears-in-my-cup2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

She could be seeing something beyond what’s just in the pictures she has shared (wit, potential as a father/husband, sense of humor, huge cock, who knows).

[–]MisterMarbles19883 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, that's true. I dated a lingerie model back and she always just assumed I was a ladies man. Her thinking was, "well if he got ME then he must be high value"

[–]takethedive196 points197 points  (2 children) | Copy

"They sound jealous. Did you give them my number?"

[–]eagerlearner73213 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]Project_Zero_Betas1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

They're definitely jealous, girls wouldn't say something that mean about their friends LTR unless it bothered them personally.

[–]razenha33 points34 points  (3 children) | Copy

She is clearly using those comments to assert domination over the relationship. It's like she is saying "women in general find you ugly, so you better behave, obey every single thing I say and disregard any wrongdoing or abuse, because if I dump your ass you will be single forever, or at least won't be able to get some 8/10 girl". Be careful.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

She is clearly using those comments to assert domination over the relationship.

Because secretly she's worried OP can do just a little bit better than her.

[–]razenha2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Maybe. That's pretty much the MO of young women these day.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Once you're good enough to pull 8s, 9/10s will see it and follow. Girls know that at the top of the SMV scale, it's all relative to them.

[–]teveza1120 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy

Most guys can't handle a girl that is significantly hotter than him for the reasons you describe.

It takes BALLS to go out with a hot girl, and that includes everything related to knowing that she is hotter than you are.

I've been where you are. I've had people talk shit about me to my girlfriends behind my back.

Another issue you didn't touch on, is how do you KNOW all of this? Is this based on what she told you? If so, she is looking for your reaction and didn't tell you this by accident. If you appear hurt in the least she is going to see it as weakness and also believe that you are ugly.

[–]BurnieSlander83 points84 points  (1 child) | Copy

Sounds like you could increase your effort in the gym and in terms of grooming. “Just a simple dude” doesn’t sound like a guy with a mission.

[–]MandingoMaasai4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]Endorsed ContributorMetalgear22212 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well you’re fucking her soooo what’s the big deal?

[–]Mikejonz1115 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just know your looks won’t please everyone

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Stop being a whiny faggot - "Wahhh! Some punk called me ugly! Wahhh!"

I have a giant, Slavic head, a broken nose, and I pretty much look like I am made up out of spare dinosaur parts....and yet you never see me here whining about how I can't get no puss. In fact, it amuses me, when I walk down the street with one of my girls and see the quizzical look... "How did He, get HER?" Yah, well I did, MFers, so eat your fucking hearts out.

Do the best you can with what you have. Exercise, eat clean and work on your Game. And kill your ego, it's a liability.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

I suggest you keep frame and confidently joke about it like the person below said. “They sounds jealous did you give them my number.”

Also, did she straight up tell you that they though you’re unattractive? If girls are not respecting you all the way they WILL be ruthless.

[–]throwawayycheyeah17 points18 points  (39 children) | Copy

I feel your pain honestly... I used to be a much more attractive guy. I was sought after buy girls in highschool and felt good in my body. Up until about 23 Now at 25 I feel like a 3/10 on a good day. Dont know how it got like this but I gotta make changes while I still can.

[–]RoccoPinkman39 points40 points  (13 children) | Copy

3 out of 10? TF you talking about. what are you like 400lbs and 90% body fat. Come on bro why are you self deprecating like that, that’s unattractive and it bleeds out, people notice it.

[–]throwawayycheyeah2 points3 points  (12 children) | Copy

Fair, I'm pretty known for being the easy going carefree guy in my social circles so I know I dont project it a lot but I do feel disappointed in myself.

[–]RoccoPinkman5 points6 points  (11 children) | Copy

Have you read ‘No more mr nice guy’? I was that easy going guy to, I’ve learnt that just means scared of conflict with zero boundaries.

[–]throwawayycheyeah1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Yeah I have. I didnt mean easy going and care free as in i go with the flow or avoid conflict, i meant that i am not one to care what people thought of how I looked or acted like a depressed loser. On the inside though I felt pretty fake because I was unhappy.

[–]RoccoPinkman0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Yeah I understand what you mean now. But do you care what you look like for yourself?

[–]throwawayycheyeah1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I am now. That's gotta be the way to get better is to start caring about it

[–]RoccoPinkman1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I’ve been that way myself so I know how you feel. It’s a feedback loop, once you dress better/lift you start to feel better, which makes you carry on.

[–]throwawayycheyeah1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks for the encouragement bud.

[–]RoccoPinkman2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good luck mate, keep it up and be patient

[–]mysteryfist1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Is this a book? Currently half way through The Rational Male, only just starting to get into trp. I have lots of time to listen to audio books during the day so thats what im doing.

[–]throwawayycheyeah4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah it's a good book. Itll call you out on your own bullshit for sure. Definitely worth reading

[–]mysteryfist1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Perfect, thats exactly what im looking for. Im going to look at it, thank you.

[–]RoccoPinkman2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It was that book that started me on my RP journey.

[–]umizumiz1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Whoa, yes. You need to read No More Mr Nice Guy.

[–]PandaLitter 1 points [recovered]  (20 children) | Copy

What happened at 23?

[–]throwawayycheyeah9 points10 points  (19 children) | Copy

Just stopped being as active. Gained about 40 pounds so I'm about 200 pounds. That made all my nice clothes not fit. Worked in a factory so I wasnt trying to look good for anyone so all my clothes are just shitty walmart clothes that I wont mind if they get destroyed. Stopped caring about my hair so it never looks styled or cut well.

Basically just became a lazy bitch who didnt care about how I looked. And wonder why I felt depressed. Been on a self help kick for about a year now which is what led me to trp so I guess it isnt all bad. It's so much harder to get in shape when you got out of shape than to just maintain it though. Or maybe my metabolism just went to shit. Been doing omad and fasted walks after work everyday for a few weeks now. Trying to turn it around because I'm so tired of hating what I look like.

[–]RoccoPinkman1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

You should always try and look your best, just for your self. I always look smell good where ever I go. Including the gym.

[–]throwawayycheyeah0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

For sure I agree. I'm making changes now. Just gotta get out of my own way

[–]McLuhanSaidItFirst2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

for a few weeks now. Trying to turn it around

and be patient, too. one foot in front of the other. the small wins of doing the right thing every day will add up.

[–]Fuktiga_mejmejs0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

I suggest going on a keto diet, it's a bit hard but you'll lose fat in no time, canned tuna is great for this aswell, full of proteins and omega 3.

[–]mrmarkme2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

You dont need a ketogenic diet to lose weight. Just track your calories and eat at a deficit. You think a guy who takes pity on himself and is lazy is gunna follow a ketogenic diet then you are dumb. If you wanna better yourself grow a sack hit the gym diet and stop making excuses. Tough love good luck

[–]McLuhanSaidItFirst1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

guy who takes pity on himself and is lazy...

how do you get that from

Been on a self help kick for about a year now which is what led me to trp ... omad and fasted walks after work everyday for a few weeks now. Trying to turn it around

You're not giving

tough love,

you're kicking a guy when he's down and working on getting better.

[–]mrmarkme0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No I'm just speaking the truth. I'm not sugarcoating it. Getting fit and bettering yourself is not as easy as "do keto and the fat will fly off". Shits hard takes time and dedication. You will have to lift when you dont want to/ even when you aren't seeing results. You're going to have to stop drinking that soda, stop eating fast food because you are to lazy to cook. You will have to get rid of the people/things that are holding you back. It's not easy and it sucks at first but these are habits you need to learn and once you do they are the key to your success. It's not a sprint it's a marathon it takes time dont let that discourage you

[–]Fuktiga_mejmejs0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It was a suggestion, and its not impossible for someone to turn their life around.

[–]throwawayycheyeah0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for the tip bud I'll read up on it

[–]daffy_duck2330 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

find the ones with less/no salt tho, that shit can fuck u up

[–]zaze120 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Just a question,I never did keto,how can you lift hard without carbs?

[–]Fuktiga_mejmejs0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Carbs and fat both convert to insulin, also lifting is very much a mind game, but yeah carbs absolutely help.

[–]PandaLitter 1 points [recovered]  (6 children) | Copy

Sounds like that's your own fault and not really a function of age like your comment implied

[–]throwawayycheyeah1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Aaaaaaand? Calm down autism.

[–]McLuhanSaidItFirst1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Yeah, no shit. This:

that's your own damn fault

is crab bucket mentality.

Keep up the good work, man.

[–]PandaLitter 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

It's not? The dude admitted to pulling himself deeper in the bucket and his original comment insinuated that reaching the ripe old age of 23 made him ugly but it's his own poor health choices that made him that way

It's phaggotry in motion

[–]McLuhanSaidItFirst1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

he's realized his mistake and is working on improving. he deserves some credit, not getting shit on.

[–]PandaLitter 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

What deserves credit is tangible results and actionable change, not words on a screen or reading more

[–]throwawayycheyeah0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You are right, but you dont have to be a complete dick. Getting off on feeling like you are better than everyone else or higher than someone who is trying to make improvements makes you look like the weak person. I hope you continue to better yourself as well bud.

[–]NorsemanLewis0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

You're not alone. Read "cant hurt me" by David Goggins. The best investment I made in myself. Also look that guy up, check out his story.

[–]throwawayycheyeah1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Will do thanks man!

[–]throwawayycheyeah1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Just wanted to reply again and say thank you! I finally received my used copy a few days ago and it came with a permanent marker autograph inside! He really is an awesome guy. Been keeping up with the gym and diet and I've been really ramping up my workouts. If david can do it then we all can!

[–]NorsemanLewis1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That is awesome! Good job. I'm glad you are inspired, and hopefully the idea of "motivation is bullshit" he presents in his book will be absorbed by you quicker than it was by me lol. Took me a little while to truly start giving my 100%.

Anyway, keep it up. The true results will hit you like a stealth train all of a sudden. At some point you will feel like you're stuck or moving too slow, and you will take a second to compare how far you've come, and you'll realize "Holy effing shit!".

[–]VigilantSmartbomb8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

Bro we’re all ugly, we’re bros lmao

Women are hot

You’ll find that whatever traits women adorn on this side of the world, women attest on another side.

Healthy and beauty are linked. Even if you have some deformity (like I do), it can be looked past.

Just eat right for a while my dude, dress nice, pamper yourself (seriously) and get that confidence up.

[–]OverSentient3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Be proud of yourself. It’s always impressive to land an LTR with someone more attractive. It means you’re only making up for it in a lot of other departments. No true red pill lifestyle relies on looks alone, it’s about all round development

[–]DiebytheSword6663 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

It sounds like a test.

Of course, if you said to your girlfriend, "What do you have to gain by telling me this?" or "Yeah, I showed your pic. to my friends and they said you look like a porn star." It would just make you sound weak.

I guess you could say, "But what do YOU think?" and then smack her in the ass.

[–]BaronIncognito2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You need to get rid of that mindset by any means necessary or sooner or later you’ll convince her of that too.

[–]deluxeDD262 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You are beautiful...and they are the ugly ones. Believe IT

[–]Hace_XVIII2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Seriously, we really forgetting the number one rule for women? Focus on what they do not what they say. Besides, when has a lion ever concerned himself with the opinion of sheep?

[–]Qba19940 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Great one!

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

But incels said ugly guys can't get girlfriends.. something doesn't add up.

[–]SerbianChadnik6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

This sub has gone downhill

[–]theboldmind0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hahah true but what’s your reason?

[–]ZeppKfw1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]Rimefang1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If I called you ugly, would you care?

Think of my opinion the same as theirs.

[–]Ryabemo1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I know most people are saying don’t mind them but if you know smt, a woman will never find a man attractive if her friends or most girls don’t. Chances are that she isn’t attracted to you, she’s with you for a reason. Maybe she knows you’ll be faithful, maybe she knows you won’t up her or maybe she knows that she’s has power in the relationship.

I don’t know what to say to you but you either have to learn to live with it or just find a girl on your league.

[–]latinasonly1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

if I see an ugly man with a hot girl whos attracted to him (not beta bucks ) i think more highly of him than an physically attractive man with the same girl. there must be something special about that ugly man.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

3x girls that she talked to said I was ugly

Did you hear this, or did she tell you they said this? Because it's not normal for girls to say this about the partner of another girl directly to her face... .and it's certainly not normal of a girl to relay this back to you.

I think it's a power play from her...... but any which way: ignore it and enjoy fucking her.

[–]RedPillAlphaBigCock0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is a great complement- you character got her - maybe she is ahead of you but in looks but who gives a fuck - that’s just a bigger compliment

[–]ChemicalGiraffe0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Your turn could end anytime, enjoy it. In the meantime work on your finances and status considering you've given up on the looks part, it wont matter that much even to your future relationships.

[–]buddboy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I got you fam.
My first post got removed because I linked to a subreddit. That being said if you spend 5 minutes on a little subreddit called the_wall I don't think you'll care too much about how you look now

[–]1puck0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Not one reply has said it yet? Damn

Look at what they DO, not what they SAY

[–]3chazthundergut0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dont ever worry that you're not pretty enough for a bitch. Its total nonsense

[–]rattamahatta0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You don't give a fuck why she likes you.

[–]sans10__0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

To be fair, you may just be interpreting it wrong. There is a possibility you might actually me good looking and they’re just trying to sway your gf by calling you ugly.

It’s the same thing when girls see an attractive guy and say “oh I bet he’s a player”, it’s a game of eliminating competition.

Once again this is just a possibility, but even if they did think you were ugly it wouldn’t matter because you’re LTR is proof that you can still pull.

[–]Lambdal70 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Looks dont matter for men (except youre really ugly) , it’s all about personality.

Just say next time, theyre intimidated by my personality or something ;)

[–]redpilllogin0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The only one that needs to be attracted to you is your girl. If she finds you attractive that's all that matters. Do keep spinning plates and increasing your SMV tho.

[–]00chuffer0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I have personality and can get surgery if it bothered me. You will be shallow for forever.

[–]Greaterbird0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The best thing you could do is be unphased by it and find it funny in a cocky "I know something you don't know" kind of way. As if you've got $10 million bank and a 10 inch cock, or $10 in the bank with a 10 million inch cock.

Your mindset should be irrational confidence, like "wow, these girls want me so bad they're trying to smear me in the eyes of my girlfriend so they can have a go," and they're so transparent you can't help but burst out laughing at their desperation and the absurdity of the whole situation.

[–]Eminencemiddle0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She could be lying. Or joking, and she decided not to come clean after she saw your reaction, then, just forgot about it totally.

She could have said it so you wouldn't hit on her friends, or dump her ass.

[–]Distractingyou0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

People hate you cause they feel they deserve more but they arent willing to put the work that you did, ignore those fuckers you may be ugly but they are only jealous that you are not a conformist person. You were better than them, enjoy that. Most people are sheep, they follow trends and at the end they lower down their spectactions cause they are lazy pussys but you didn't let society lower your spectations, people like you are fighters and thats why i respect you. Most faggots would say don't let the world define you but in reality that's not truth. Faggots, feminist and most girls are actually mindless walking funny stereotypes so that phrase doesn apply to them while for you this actually applys, you are actually a real dude that told himself i deserve better and you got it, society should respect you and because they arent willing to put the work to improve themselves the only thing they can have is envy.

[–]apietroski80 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You are the prize, swallow the pill and accept it. You are putting her on a pedestal.

It sounds like you are insecure and jealous of the attention your gf gets. That is only going to drive her away. If you are lifting, lift harder. Change up your wardrobe, improve your financial situation. Increase your SMV and stop victim puking about your feels getting hurt cause her friends dont want to bone you too.

[–]69XxXCuckboyXxX690 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

blackpill hurts.

[–]Kevchenkoo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Keep improving your smv by lifting and eating a clean diet. Also read books on self improvement (and apply it). Trust me, it will take a while for you to really feel like the man but try to keep that frame in your mind that YOU ARE THAT GUY. Don’t be a “simple dude”, become a fucking chad my brother.

[–]rnsbrum0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Never had any problems like this after lifting for 3+ years. Once you look like a super hero they throw themselves at you

[–]SerbianChadnik0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]warthundersfw0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I used to be so attractive I would wall flower, put my hand on the hottest girls waist, and make out and close. Now I'm not. And I have virtually 0 game, but enough looks and IDGAF to get enough for my apetite. I miss the ol' days though.

For refernce, I still get checked out even though I'm fat, but I am obviously very muscular under a grotesque fat layer. If I was cut again I would slay so fucking hard.

[–]DigitalDragonSlayer-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

First off, You’re not ugly OP. Coming from a fellow who isn’t white 6 feet or anything like Brad Pitt

Any bitch that says this to me, I next her. I would say verbatim: “ Look, I thought long and hard about the ‘ugly’ comment you made about me. I had to think for a while to see if my next action was coming from a place of insecurity, or if it was something I should ignore and I am fairly sure that my reaction to your comment is simply geared towards me taking care of myself, because I love myself and I should only surround myself with people who love me. I think you’d probably agree and feel the same way about that statement. Anyways, after thinking it through: we are done. have fun in the meat market that is today’s dating culture, if I’m ugly on the outside, you’re hideous on the inside. I’m thankful you said what you did, it showed me who you are. I wish you well, that’s it, I’m done, this is not a conversation.”

And walk the fuck away from her.

The only thing on your shoulders OP, is that from the limited amount of into you shared you don’t sound jacked enough. I know guys that are far from the Brad Pitt spectrum, and the farther you at the stronger, larger, and more intimidating you need to be. That’s the only criticism I have, and I hope it helps. Get a trainer to help you get big, eat clean and hit high caloric goals, use the sadness and hurt to fuel your commitment to the gym, and think of what a dumb cunt she is for having said that to you, as you rip iron.

Get after it. No excuses.

-Fellow “ugly” brother

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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