Hey, guys. I've been a red pill woman for a while now, although I haven't really been very active in this community. I'm open to all feedback, even if you guys decide that I'm the issue here. Thanks in advance for taking the time to read and comment.
So my husband and I have always been red pill, although he didn't really know anything about it until we started dating. I've always tried to be supportive of him, and let him be the captain, but it's been so much harder lately for me to respect him. I feel like he makes the worst decision possible every chance he gets. I've come to expect less out of him than I expect out of a teenager, and still I'm disappointed.
I am the bread winner, I make 70% of our total income, and I keep the bills paid. But despite that, he still goes on shopping sprees, and runs out of money, so I have to give him more money, and put gas in his car. Our $11 Hulu subscription was his responsibility, and it still got shut off almost every single month. Being the breadwinner has been extremely hard on me, especially after he got a second vehicle, which just increases our expenses even more. He doesn't drive this vehicle (because she is not willing to maintain it) but he still won't sell it, so we are paying for insurance on a car nobody drives.
He's having a very hard time holding down a job. He quits one job before he has figured out his next job, so I have to keep money in his pocket while he isn't working, which is hard for me. I make less than 30k/year. When he isn't quitting his job, he calls in to work at least once per week, until he gets fired. Meanwhile, I work through illness and injury alike. I have taken only 3 sick days in the past 5 years, and those were recovery days after surgery. He started a new job on July, and just had his evaluation and he has 2 weeks to get his performance up, and still' hes texting me on his phone from work. This will be his 5th job in the last 18 months.
Despite all of this, I feel like I am his husband and he is my wife. He needs constant attention and affirmation and he calls me 3x+ per day at work, just to talk. He gets angry if I don't answer (while I am tattooing somebody!) I have to take him on expensive dates and show shopping trips to keep him happy. I can't count how many times I have handed the last of the money in my wallet so that he can buy new clothes. He has sucked every last bit of femininity out of me.
I really struggle to out out for him, but what kind of wife would I he if I denied him sex? He hates foreplay, he has completely forgotten what a clitoris is, and just jams his penis into a dry hole. He leaves me swollen and bleeding every time. I can't remember the last time I enjoyed sex. I can't even think about sex anymore, because I can't imagine a world where I would enjoy it.
I really don't know what to do. Any time I have ever tried to address any of these issues he becomes incredibly defensive and lashes out at me. It has gotten so bad I can't even bring myself to look him in the eyes any more. I don't see him as a man, I see him as a child.
I know I'm not perfect. I have a hard time being affectionate. Working 60 hr/wk takes so much out of me. I have a tendency to nag, because if I don't nothing gets done, and I'm not capable of doing everything. The dishes pile up in the sink to badly we don't even have any dishes to eat off of. By the time I get home it's 7, dinner (which he often refuses to eat because it is not good enough) is ready by 8, and I just don't have the energy to do laundry and dishes and clean the kitchen, too. I think he sees me as less of a woman for this. I certainly don't feel like a woman.
A few added worse, as per posting rules.
We're common law, so no official marriage license, and have been together for 4 years. I've tried many difference things to bridge this gap between us. I've told him how I feel, albeit very gently, so as to save his ego. His go-to response is "I'm sorry you feel that way". And as far as the root of the problem.. I don't really know. I feel like I've lost all perspective. Some days I feel like it's all his fault and I hate him, but other days I feel like it's all my fault and I hate me. Our good days have become sparse.
I'm really sorry this wound up being so long winded.. I guess I didn't realize I had that much to say on the issue. Maybe I don't even know what kind of feedback I'm looking for.. I apologise. I hope you all don't think I'm too crazy.
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