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If you ask a girl to go out/hang over text, and she says she’s busy and doesn’t offer a different date, do you soft next?

Reddit View
September 1, 2019

Sorry if this is retarded

Usually after I get the number I’ll send a few texts and say “let’s ___ at ___” and sometimes she’ll say she’s busy but doesn’t offer a different time to hang.

Do I soft next? I don’t wanna keep asking her if she’s free on different days to not look like a needy bitch, all while she isn’t putting any effort into finding a good time.

Post Information
Title If you ask a girl to go out/hang over text, and she says she’s busy and doesn’t offer a different date, do you soft next?
Author fuck-tinder-whores
Upvotes 107
Comments 84
Date 01 September 2019 12:46 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Original Link
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
soft nexting

[–]creating_my_life184 points185 points  (34 children) | Copy

all while she isn’t putting any effort into finding a good time.

She is, just not with you.

[–]fuck-tinder-whores[S] 43 points44 points  (33 children) | Copy

Lol didn’t mean it like that, but clever

[–]creating_my_life70 points71 points  (31 children) | Copy

dude, her saying she's busy and not offering a different date is girlspeak for "I find you fucking disgusting that you're even talking to me." Women speak covertly, and that's a fucking megaphone of denial pointed right at you. Take your shirt off and look in the mirror. Would you fuck you?

[–]fuck-tinder-whores[S] 52 points53 points  (13 children) | Copy

I know that she’s not interested so that’s why I was asking if I just soft next

And no, I wouldn’t fuck myself right now. That’s why Im going to the gym

[–]creating_my_life42 points43 points  (8 children) | Copy

it's good you recognize that you need to work on yourself. That's the whole point of Red Pill. Become the man that women want to fuck. When a woman wants to fuck you, nothing will get in her way. She certainly won't blow off dates.

You haven't really internalized how cruel and harsh the truth is, though. The fact that you had to even ask us means you're not quite there yet. You don't "soft next". you hard next. You spend zero energy or though on her going forward. Soft next is "I won't engage and then pick back up again in 3 days like nothing happened." You're not even close to that.

[–]fuck-tinder-whores[S] 49 points50 points  (7 children) | Copy

Makes sense, thanks. Didn’t know that’s what soft next meant, I meant just don’t text her anymore.

Pretty new to this and I’m trying to not ask retarded questions but I’m 18 and I don’t have male guidance in life so I’d rather ask something stupid here and get downvoted than just sit confused

[–]HillsOfMars46 points47 points  (2 children) | Copy

Its pretty common that people respond harshly here. Dont feel like you have to justify asking your question its perfectly fine to ask that here. Its one of the most annoying things about this community that despite its utility its filled with guys trying to practice their own frame by attempting to be as alpha as possible through a keyboard. Its annoying af. Just sift through and determine whwts useful to you

[–]Variatiion15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

Its one of the most annoying things about this community that despite its utility its filled with guys trying to practice their own frame by attempting to be as alpha as possible through a keyboard.

Which funnily enough is one of the most pathetic beta bitch moves you can pull..

[–]fuck-tinder-whores[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks man

[–]ac71410 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

Glad you’re taking this feedback in stride. RP has a reputation for needlessly harsh and ‘eating their own’ at beginner stages. Argue, dispute, or disagree with even a fraction of the recommendation and you’ll be labeled a full on blue pill cuck. If you can get past that and sift through the trash then you’ll find some truly life changing advice that will help you at different stages of your life and you won’t find anywhere else.

I attribute it to scarred veterans mixing in their PTSD with quality advice.

Soft next for sure. You might not be as far low on her list as you fear but def don’t invest any more towards her. There’s wayy too many variables to give advice past that. Most I feel would say to go for the close and ignore her if it doesn’t work, but such a move would only fail and be counter-productive to you now.

My advice based on the very limited info I have is to cast a very wide net in order to get some plates and practice. It’s easier to develop from a place of strength than doubt.

[–]Sobinia0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

In my opinion, RP "eating their own" at beginner stages is a pretty good way to filter out those that are too weak and uncommitted to become true alpha males. After all, there can only be a certain percentage of leaders and winners in society.

[–]ControlBlue1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You are taking the steps in the right direction though.

Hang in here, it's a lifestyle's change.

[–]WahmynsLoveGlobohomo1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's good you ask, this is what we are here for, to support each other, this is our only sanctuary in this clown world

[–]HurricaneHugues3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

If She's not interested in you, what is a soft next gonna do for u?

[–]asorals0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Stop you from wasting unnecessary time on her, but if she hits you up within that time you wouldn't flat out ignore her.

[–]HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Why wouldn't I ignore her if I know she isn't interested? You people love wasting time.

[–]uptimex4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Man, there are 2 different kinds of people: who overestimate themselves and underestimate themselves. So some people, even if they have Arnold Schwarzenegger's body, won't say "yes I would fuck me" and vice versa. So your advice is kind of not very objective.

I seriously met 5s who wouldn't even look at me, and 9s who were astonished by me. So I guess it is random mostly. I mean yeah, workout must become a lifestyle. But it is 80% random.

[–]BendAndSnap-1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Haha same here. Some fucking 5 looks away doesn't want to have anything with you and some 8 all over your shit. It's fucking crazy

[–]uptimex1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly! I mean it is very hard to calculate.

[–]HangsHeKing20 points21 points  (11 children) | Copy

Take your shirt off and look in the mirror. Would you fuck you?

The idea that you have to look like a fitness model to attract women is totally false. It’s funny. You asked him if he would fuck himself. That sounds kind of gay, and that’s because it is kind of gay for a man to obsess over his physical appearance. This is coming from a guy who loves exercising and lifting. It’s not the biggest factor in attracting women, and it can even work against you.

Men and women are different. Women do not think the same way as men do when it comes to sexual attraction. You have to recognize this. Men respond more to physical characteristics, and women respond more to behavior: being confident, unreactive to nonsense, not seeking approval or validation, not running from confrontation, knowing who you are and where you’re going, having your own idea of what is cool and not hiding or changing that for anyone - these traits are to women what asses and tits are to men.

It’s great to be in shape, but do it for yourself not for a woman. It allows you to give yourself permission to act like a super cool guy, but the real red pill is that you can bypass that step and just give yourself that permission no matter where you are.

[–]TheCiph3r11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

This guy couldn't have said it better. Lifting is essential but it's not the solution to all BP problems like what a lot of people here think. You could be jacked like Arnold but still be beta af.

[–]showerdudes96 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

Exactly this, the whole "looks"-maxing in asktrp is insanely feminine, they don't even recognize how feminine this is

[–]HangsHeKing1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

The mainstream idea in modern society of what men are supposed to be has become feminized. People genuinely believe that being a man is about wearing fancy pants and chasing lollipops. Combine this with the fact that most men, especially here, are chasing meaningless hookups, and you end up looking a lot like a homosexual. At the same time as this, women are also becoming more masculine; probably as a reaction to the lack of actual men.

[–]showerdudes91 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is crazy, for real. I mean, I see fashion advice, people asking what shoes to wear and stuff on this sub. I thought i was in a womens sub. It is absolutely shocking. There are countless of boys here who spends like 15-20+ minutes on their looks before going out as well, i'm not even joking. Fixing their hair perfect with wax, deciding what to wear. It is disgusting.

[–]HangsHeKing1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It is. I think most guys doing this just don't know any better because they haven't studied real masculinity yet, and our culture never shows it to them anymore. They are stuck in the paradigm of thinking that women make decisions for the same reasons men do. We can help break them out of that by mocking it.

[–]juggernaut83 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Men and women are different. Women do not think the same way as men do when it comes to sexual attraction.

Yo OP. This dude knows what he's talking about, listen to him. Work on being confident + learn how to talk to women. Exercise for yourself not for women.

[–]ControlBlue2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

/u/fuck-tinder-whores you should get that.

Body matters, but Confidence matters A LOT more.

[–]fuck-tinder-whores[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I did man, thanks so much

[–]BendAndSnap-0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I kind of agree but women do respond better to a muscular man. And having muscles and feeling good 100% translates to better interactions. When you feel like your the shit it manifests itself in your interactions with bitches.

[–]ControlBlue1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That is true,

But you can have the muscles, if you don't have the attitude (and the situation), if you are lucky you are just going to be a boytoy.

Could be good enough for some, but as a man you should want more.

[–]HangsHeKing1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Obviously women notice if you're fit and obviously it helps, but it does not guarantee you success at pulling high quality women. Fitness is window dressing to help get your foot in the door. You can be a certified swol patrol member, but if you can't act like an actual man around a woman then at best she'll ultimately pass you for a man who can, and at worst she's going to assume you are a raging homo. The traits I mentioned above and others come as close to a guarantee of success as you're going to get.

[–]eatajerkpal05020 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Way to pull yourself down... Good job...

[–]LordLoveRocket00-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Obviously you wouldn't what day is it now 609 @no fap?? Lol sorry couldn't resist

[–]eatajerkpal05020 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She may not be that into you as you are into her ... So yeah try your other options...

[–]ComfyBiscotti50 points51 points  (2 children) | Copy

of course. a girl into you will cancel her other plans to be with you.

[–]QawL5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

I agree but most cases it's not gonna work like that. You wouldn't even have to ask her out if she's "canceling her other plans" into you.

She could make excuses but agree, to seem like she's not an easy girl. Kind of dumb thing

[–]mrrooftops-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]rpasker1922 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy

Girls will give their number to get you out of their hair. Numbers are flakey and unreliable. This is normal. The lead is cold. Get new leads and work those. If you have cool social media, funnel her to that and she might hit you up down the road if she sees you're cooler than she thought. Or, if she was enjoying the attention you gave, she may chase it when you disappear and at then scheduling the date will be easier. But don't waste time trying to fix cold leads, there will be more cold than warm leads especially while you're developing your game.

[–]ngyuhnang17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, she’s not attracted enough so move on

[–]0io-13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

It sort of depends on the girl and how busy she actually is. If this is a girl you're having sex with on the regular, and you say "Meet me at 7 tonight" and she texts back "can't, working until 11" then it's just a legitimate schedule conflict and don't worry about it. People have jobs and school and you can't realistically expect people go bail out on whatever commitments they have every time you want to hook up.

If this is someone you've never dated or had sex with and she's busy and doesn't offer up an alternate time then probably she's not interested right now. Wait longer than usual before telling her to meet up with you again. Try a few times then soft next. If she's hot save the number though and hit her up again a few months later. It only takes a minute or two to try, and sometimes they're not busy anymore.

Just because she's busy and not that interested in you right now doesn't mean it's a lost cause forever, though. Don't stalk or badger her, obviously. It's OK to try a few times. Just don't put any investment into her. Next time you talk to her she may have broken up, quit her job, dropped out of school, taken a semester off... maybe she's bored and wants to hook up.

[–]fuck-tinder-whores[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks homie, it’s fresh meat never hooked up or anything

[–]bluepillcarl73 points74 points  (3 children) | Copy

Keep asking every 2 days until she blocks your number.

[–]TheCiph3r37 points38 points  (0 children) | Copy

username checks out

[–]Alt_Mayday4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Every 2 days hours

[–]Verstappen33633 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

2 minutes is even better.

[–]L3onard326 points27 points  (1 child) | Copy

So ask her about a different time once more and if not, then next.

[–]Schhwing5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Her keenness to hang out with you will depend on how she feels about your first meeting.

If that meeting was fun/exciting/a turn on for her she will want to see you again. Usually that means that she will ditch other plans to see you. In the same breath she may be actually busy and not be able to see you. However that means that she is prioritising other things over you. May be valid or not.

If she appears to not be keen to reschedule, she may do that by offering or you may need to ask her at another time. Give her two chances maybe three. But if you feel that the first meeting wasn’t electric then she probably feels the same way and won’t give much of a fuck if she sees you again or not.

[–]SauliusTRP5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

Just "cool, hit me up when you are free someday" and soft next after that, if she responds sometime, cool, if not - you are approaching other girls in meantime :)

[–]fuck-tinder-whores[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Bro that seems so much better than what I’ve done. If it’s someone I’ve never even hung out with, and they say they have plans I’d just ignore.

By saying that you don’t look needy, and there’s an off chance that down the road she’ll respond


[–]SauliusTRP0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, thats not my line - i read it somewhere in main RedPill sub. Basically you leave ball in her court while not investing anything in the meantime.

[–]1Quaternionz4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Ignore most of what most people have said. Most of the advice in this thread is hot flaming garbage.

Girls are passive. Suggesting another time takes initiative. If she’s very feminine and submissive then suggesting another time might require more initiative than she can muster. This can be true even for women who put up an assertive exterior.

The correct response is to assume she’s attracted and sort out the logistics with confidence.

“Want to grab some ____ at _____ on _____.”

“Oh, I’m busy then.”

“Gotcha. Well what’s your schedule like for the week?”

“I dunno. Work kind of calls me in for shifts whenever. And I’m seeing my sister Saturday.”

“Ok, well come over for dinner Thursday then. I’ll cook something up for us to eat and then after we can go out for a drink or just chill and watch a movie. If you get a shift just come after your shift.”

“Hahahah, OK, that sounds nice. But I’m not doing anything else that night if you were thinking netflix and chill, or anything like that.”

“Lol, if you say so. See you then.”

Then you feed her some nice food and some wine, and get the lay.

Lots of girls, especially the young hot ones, are also generally a shit show. “I’m busy” could mean “I’m overloaded and my life is a chaotic mess, HELP.”

Take the logistics by the balls and you’ll often be rewarded.

If you next her after “I’m busy” she’ll hamster up a storyline in which her “I’m busy” actually meant “I’m not interested,” because you were too beta to blow past it and get the date.

If you blow past “I’m busy” and get the lay she’ll hamster up a storyline in which you’re a cool dominant guy who can put logical shit together on a dime and show her a good time.

If her “I’m busy” really does mean “I’m not interested” then she’ll rapidly get blunt when you push to set up logistics, or she’ll just stop responding. You might get “Look, I’m sorry but I’m just not up for this right now.” Or you might get silence.

But a sizable percentage of the time you’ll get the date. Assume attraction and just go for it.

The penalty for pushing too hard over text messaging is literally ZERO. The penalty for not pushing hard enough is missing out on a good lay with a girl who was actually just being passive and hoping you’d lead the interaction.

[–]fuck-tinder-whores[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Interesting take, I’m over this convo now but I’ll keep that noted. Thanks

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K1813 points14 points  (6 children) | Copy

Cut the ''let's'. It sounds sort of supplicating and asking permission. You're not asking her permission to do something. You're already doing it, and she can come if she wants.

'I'll be at having drinks at **** bar on **** at ****. Come join me. Are you in, or out'?

You're already doing something. You polarize her into being fuck yes or no.

Women are flakey and indecisive as fuck. Tell them what to do.

[–]fuck-tinder-whores[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

I used to say “want to blah blah” lol so made a slight improvement, but I’ll try that out. Thanks

[–]flipdoggers4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

That's pretty weird tho, acting like if she'd say no you'd still go to the bar and get drinks on your own

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K181 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You were already there. Tell her you blew your friends off, or they left.

[–]sleep24x70 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You’re missing the point.

The point is you’re firm and decisive in what you want to do and less into permission seeking/supplication, and what you want to do doesn’t depend on her/anybody else.

This of course doesn’t imply you shouldn’t care about her needs and what’s convenient for her. But apart from that, if she can’t make it, you have other things to do as well.

As for being at the bar alone, you don’t need an excuse. You’re just there. No explanation needed, doesn’t matter if it appears weird to someone as long as it’s something you wanted to do in the first place.

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K180 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, exactly. Don't be worried about what other people think.

[–]sleep24x71 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This. Unrelated, but as an additional benefit, you are solid on what you want to do, even if she’s out.

It’s easy to feel discouraged and not do something because someone you were supposed to do something with, declined. Fuck that shit, go out and do it anyway, and have a great fucking time, even if you have to do it alone.

[–]HurricaneHugues2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You hard next. She's not interested.

[–]Dimenzije902 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Some of you guys need to take a hard hit on the face... Wtf is this question. Ofcourse you next her. Or at least say, "aight hit me up when you can" and never text her again until she texts you. Go read the side bar again. She isn't busy she just got another dude/dudes thats higher value in her eyes.

[–]krusecontrol916 points7 points  (11 children) | Copy

I don’t even start. They can come to me if they really want to. I’d rather golf, go see some live music at a sit down with food type place, work on hobbies or skills, continue to remodel and better my home improvement, or else wise. It’s just not. worth. it. If you really need female company keep a roster and hit the next one up. At the end of the day your time is what matters most. You are statistically guaranteed to be just one of many on her roster already.

Sure downvote me but I’m right.

[–]TheTastelessBatman2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Dude is right.

[–]SalporinRP-3 points-2 points  (1 child) | Copy

He's really not

[–]krusecontrol910 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I can recommend some medicated good cream to get rid of the salt infection? Let me know if I can help you.

[–]fuck-tinder-whores[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Red pill golfer let’s go, i golf every Sunday alone. So peaceful

[–]krusecontrol911 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Amen to that, range on Saturday, range on Sunday most weeks weather permitting. One for golf balls and one for trap/target. Best stress relievers and mindfulness activities.

[–]TRP_mask-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Who hurt you bro

[–]krusecontrol91-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

What are predictable response. Hello, bot.

[–]SalporinRP-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

If you really need female company keep a roster and hit the next one up

This is shit advice because the way you build up a roster is by dating/hanging out with girls lol. Rosters don't just appear out of thin air.

[–]krusecontrol910 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Buy yourself a boat. Not a speedboat. One with a cabin or two, an upper and lower level cockpit, and a railing all the away around it with space on the bow to lay down 4 or 5 wide. Your roster will exponentially multiply and you’ll consider yourself corrected,

Worked for me anyway. Was way less than a car as such

I meet girls everywhere, no need to date or hang out at all. Just approach, know your play, get a number and make her think she’s a special one..... profit. Who cares if you never communicate again? Well a line to cast right in front of you is better than looking at the fish and hoping they’ll jump into your boat from another lake. Just don’t break character. Not that hard at all

[–]SalporinRP-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

So your advice to get a roster of women is to get a boat lol?

Damn you're an autist

[–]krusecontrol910 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lionerdo da honky how did you know?????? DM me I’ll send you some pics of a couple nights ago on the river? I remember maybe 1/20 by name now.

Yeah so think of me when your frat friend tells you to get a dog for the same reason. Why don’t you say the same thing to he, she, whatever it is?

Your IQ tester must have slammed the door in your face. Or reality dumped you in therapy. Not sure yet keep it coming I’m curious.

[–]SOLODOLOGUY1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah. Next. She’s not interested

[–]NoReflection21 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She's not interested.. move on. don't be that guy, just move on to the next. Remember that you are looking for someone that can vibe with you and someone that you can vibe with back. It is meant to be a mutual thing so if she isn't interested, don't feel self conscious or insecure just keep looking for the one that clicks. Keep in mind that even the most handsome / good-looking guy also gets rejected. I think you already know the answer to your question but are looking for someone else to confirm. You can usually feel the vibe the girl is giving you if you aren't attached to the outcome.

[–]georeddit20181 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy


[–]fuck-tinder-whores[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hah yeah 21 hours later and I forgot about this

[–]uptimex0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you asked just once, it could give not very reliable amount of information to make a decision. Ask two times, to give her some comfort of you liking her. They are insecure too sometimes. If she refused two times not suggesting something else, then just soft next. Find some other girl. This cycle must be repeated until your attraction skills before asking out become better (it means workout and influencing her emotions).

[–]idontmiind0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ask her two times within 2 3 days and for the last time after a week or so. Also try to be fun inside out so that you don't have to "think" about this all like this

[–]antoniofelicemunro0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]ggggggggee0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]Hedser910 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Do the justin bieber test, what would she say if you would be justin bieber? Yes to him and no to you means next. It all depends on how desperate you are, sometimes I give it another shot.

[–]MultiMidsets-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're suppose to call her and talk to her for 15 mins to see where her interest is then ask/ setup plans

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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