29y, 5'7", 160lbs, 14% BF (navy), together for 7 years married for 3, no kids.
Bench Press: 185lbs
Finished NMMNG, MMSLP, and MAP
Currently reading WISNIFG
I've been red pill aware and lurking for a few years now but only started doing the work in October last year. I know I need to start posting to the OYS threads; if I had been I probably wouldn't be in this mess.
My marriage has been falling apart for the past ~3 months due mainly to the wife's (I suspect bipolar) sister staying with us but also me being a huge faggot. Before she came to stay the relationship was pretty much perfect between us. I was owning my shit and had been running my MAP for a solid 8 months. We were stronger than ever, the sex was frequent and dirty, and we were moving in the direction I wanted.
Anyway, the sister breaks up with her abusive boyfriend and needs a place to stay. "Sure, stay as long as you need". Immediately the sex drops off (small apartment) and the shit tests go through the roof with the wife. Work gets stressful with redundancies going around and I don't realize I'm failing them. The sister starts sucking up all of the wife's free time; to the point that I feel as though she's having an emotional affair with her (maybe not the right term but I don't know what else to call it). They start going out dancing together (unusual for my wife) and join a girls netball team together. No big deal I thought, I hate dancing and nightclubs and the sisters just want to spend time together, I'm not going to stop them. I'm glad the wife has found a new group of friends too.
However, as the weeks went by I felt more and more neglected and got needy and emotional. I fell off my MAP and became a drunk captain again, I became complacent, lazy, needy, etc... All the usual faggot behavior that I thought I'd put an end to all came back in a few short weeks. I realized that I needed to focus on myself again before I started to set some boundaries with them both and I had started to get my shit back together but it was too little too late. It all came to a head one night when I jumped in to bed and my wife told me she "doesn't have time for me anymore" and that we should "go our separate ways". What the fuck? I knew we weren't in a great place but I didn't think it was that bad.
I moved out of the house 48 hour later leaving her and her sister (in retrospect a terrible move) and a few days later she booked us in for couples counselling (I believe due to pressure from her family). In talking to her she says she still loves me and misses me a lot, but she refuses to go out on dates and still thinks we should go our separate ways (confusing?). I know she hasn't really thought this through and will come to regret it if I walk.
I still want this to work but I'm not sure how to proceed with the counselling. It seems it is my last chance to get through to her and explain that her sister is a large part of our problems. Do I;
- Be honest with how I feel about the "emotional affair" and try to get her to see it from my point of view?
- Extreme ownership. Take responsibility for being a drunk captain and place the blame squarely on me followed by STFU?
- Call her out for being a selfish bitch?
- Just STFU?