CMV: Most men will cheat anyway so smart women should prioritize the other benefits men have to offer and just get some on the side as well

Sir_Koopaman · 2019-04-25T17:45:21+00:00

Maybe you should stop projecting the human shits you hang out with to every man. If you only hang out with criminals, you think everyone is a criminal when that's not a true statement.

redgirlthrowaway · 2019-04-25T17:35:07+00:00

I've learned many of the things I have from long discussions with unfaithful married men.

There are people who shoplift.

Therefore, most everyone must be shoplifting

Therefore, I, too must be justified in shoplifting

At least unlike you those men have the decency to be ashamed

redgirlthrowaway · 2019-04-25T18:03:47+00:00

Finding a partner who brings "enough" to the table is probably hard if you're expending so much energy on side dick and covering your tracks. As reasons go being too damn lazy for that isn't a virtuous one but still. Ain't nobody got time for that.

If you don't want to commit, just don't. I don't understand the allure of faking it. The world offers plenty of ways to disappoint and hurt people, why make yourself one of them? Hook up culture is practically revered, there's no shame in fucking randoms if that's your deal, no downside to being honest about it. Plenty to lose if you aren't.

WestsideMoonWalker · 2019-04-25T17:39:31+00:00

Someone who is not the type to be unfaithful isn't going to be unfaithful to their partner. Your discussion are with people who believe they aren't that type of person, but if they are being unfaithful, they definitely are.

Every single human relationship involves compromise. Professional relationships, personal friend relationships, and romantic relationships all have these elements. A relationship doesn't have to be perfect to be worthwhile.

I've been with my SO for almost 5 years now, and guess what, it hasn't always been easy, and we have had to make compromises (like getting a cat! which I thought would be an issue due to allergies, despite my love of cats) at various points, but that doesn't change the fact that I love her, or that I accept her as she is and that I want to build a life with her. Our relationship isn't perfect, but I don't expect perfection from her, because that burden of performance is what kills even the best relationships. We both have high standards of conduct, but they are in line with what each of us are capable of.

Being unfaithful is a bad idea because when you do find someone worth keeping, you will cause them pain through your actions.

Being unfaithful in general is super shitty though. My SO and I bonded over the hate boner we had for my ex, who was unfaithful. She says she blacked out with rage after my ex told her that she (my ex) was cheating. I believe it.

redgirlthrowaway · 2019-04-25T20:08:18+00:00

When you cheat and get caught you may lose a great partner. Or he may be one of the 1 in 1000 that snaps and kills you. You may also end up alienating your kids, friends, etc. Thats the risk.

I mean imagine yourself explaining to young Timmy that the reason he has to shuttle back and forth between you and dads apartment and your home is being sold, etc is because you fucked the pool boy on the basis of “lolz fuck it all men cheat anyway”. Even though yours didnt. He will rightly come to view you as a moral and intellectual retard

If youre ok with that then more power to you i guess

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2019-04-25T18:46:10+00:00

So instead of cheating, be direct and ask for an open relationship, and discuss boundaries to which you can both agree. Problem solved.

damaskrose · 2019-04-25T19:09:15+00:00

Nah it's totally possible to find men who don't cheat.

But if your man does cheat, and you don't want to leave him over it, then by all means you can cheat too.

DXBrigade · 2019-04-25T19:46:33+00:00

May as well never marry.

Mattcwu · 2019-04-25T19:49:30+00:00

Most men will cheat

Source?

redgirlthrowaway · 2019-04-25T21:22:39+00:00

This idea is only "smart" if you plan on ending up perpetually single well into old age. You'd better have a good job or start divorce-raping older, wealthier men for the income, too. Sounds really "smart." Especially if all the while you're telling yourself that there's nothing wrong with what you're doing, and this is going to be a secure lifestyle. So smart. Like, "I can't believe it's not Donald Trump's idea" - smart.

Edit: Most of the time, the people I've encountered who think this way have some deep issues that they need to come to terms with. Running away from insecurity by living a hard-and-fast lifestyle on shaky ground is not the sign of a secure, "smart" person.

SelfUnmadeMan · 2019-04-25T18:52:36+00:00

Every bad actor finds a way to rationalize their bad behavior.

Don't think you are any different.

carrawayjames · 2019-04-25T19:30:08+00:00

This is how Thots came about

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TheSuperStink · 2019-04-25T17:36:54+00:00

Men on this sub (or Reddit in general) are not a good representation of men in general.

Women should be able to take care of themselves, financially or otherwise.

87AudreyHorne · 2019-04-25T17:44:49+00:00

My experience doesn't make me think that most men will cheat, some would but no more than some women would too. Those are generally not good people (although I know it can be a bit complicated to generalize everyone as a "bad person", even so they are definitely bad partners.)

If all men were cheaters, I would simply not be with them because I know what type of relationship I want. But it's simply not the way things are.

darudeboysandstorm · 2019-04-25T18:52:08+00:00

Seems like your imperative and thats great, but do you think all women want this?

stephcurryftw · 2019-04-25T19:20:16+00:00

"Most men will cheat."

Aren't there stats that show that women cheat more than men do?

Ziczor · 2019-04-25T20:09:22+00:00

It will blow in your face, especially if he's that desirable to other women.

blackedoutfast · 2019-04-25T22:37:17+00:00

if most men end up cheating on you, it's because you're going after men who are out of your league. idk why it's so hard for chicks to understand this, but men and women are not the same. our standards for "this chick is attractive enough to fuck" is MUCH LOWER than our standard for "this chick is cool enough to commit to"

if you regularly get cheated on, it's because your value is high enough to pass the "fuckable" threshold but not really high enough to pass the "actually commit to her" threshold

ashitanothrowaway · 2019-04-25T22:37:46+00:00

I would commend your willingness to completely abandon morality in order to align your actions completely with your desiresd results, which is both having a high value life partner and exciting sex, but from the way that you explained it, this sounds more like a weak justification of your efforts to maintain emotional distance than a desire to be polyamorous. I can't condone this kind of duplicity and dishonesty, but I have thought about it how it works.

If you can keep from being caught and not neglect him sexually/emotionally/domestically, then you have found a way to keep his ego feeling masculine, while still having your fun.

It may actually help his quality of life if you give him passes when he feels short because you know that you are being duplicitous or make sure that you are sexually consistent when you don't want to so he doesn't become suspicious.

I think this addresses some things. You may genuinely desire to live a double life and not integrate and a man knowing would ruin it for you because you like the shell of egoic masculinity.

The issue is that your reasoning is extremely nearsighted and narrow minded and that logic will probably be proven wrong to you and if you have any moral compass, when it hits you, you'll feel like trash.

Another issue is that if you want a man who would be jealous at the thought of you cheating, understand that jealousy can cause people to do some very violent things. He may kill you.

Outside of paternity, diseases, and him receiving less affection or sex, the rest of the reasons to be against infidelity are mostly moral, ego-based, and immeasurable.

How can you measure exactly how close you are to someone?

Unless he's never had it or doesn't want it, he may notice a lack of a certain level of intimacy due to the emotional distance and leave or snoop to find out that you are cheating.

The problem with lies and facades/compartmentalizzation is that they don't last forever and require a decent bit of effort and/or emotional detachment to maintain and often crash very hard.

If he is the type of man who is fine with the appearance of love or a transactional relationship, then the moral implifications mean less, honestly. But there are many ways this can go incredibly wrong.

Still, I think this is more of a Blackpill thing. If this reasoning is true, the best a man could hope for is to leave the lie of being enough for a woman and hoping the lie isn't exposed in his lifetime.

It sounds to me like you mostly made your mind up. I do think this hamstring is weak and heartless, but it can also contain some truth about human nature and that not everyone gets the full package. Why settle for one of your two primary needs (Other than a legal-binding oath and contract and not wanting to hurt your partner, or the legacy of your family, and children)?

Mr_Smoogs · 2019-04-25T17:35:03+00:00

Women don’t want a harem. It’s as simple as that. Also, men and women cheat at about the same rate.

ThisIsJustATr1bute · 2019-04-25T18:13:21+00:00

Your impulse to become the cheater after being the cheated on is not a healthy one. It is a form of bitterness and hardened-ness which is not in your best interest. Many people choose this path because they think it is empowering, but it’s just a cycle. If you can’t stay faithful and can’t trust someone to stay faithful, what’s best for your mental health is to date around without committing, or be in a consensual open relationship.

MGTOWKapow2 · 2019-04-25T19:16:54+00:00

Most men cheat? News to me.

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