Q4Men: Your wife inherits $15,000. Do you expect your wife to tell you? What would you do if you inherited $15,000? Would you consider it family money?

jax006 · 2019-02-21T21:10:47+00:00

According to MGTOW, a man and a wife are not a team

Maybe I'm missing something but... how is an MGTOW guy concurrently married? Doesnt that sound ironic to you?

Mr_Smoogs · 2019-02-21T21:11:07+00:00

Depends on the arrangement I had with my wife. I've heard of part-time working moms claim their income is "hers to spend" while the husbands income is shared equally and is responsible for the bills. If she was that kind of woman, then I would think twice about equally splitting any windfall. Ideally, you wouldn't be married that woman in the first place though.

Also, please, for your mental health. Stop taking a low up-voted post with 15 comments on MGTOW as something more than it is.

TheSuperStink · 2019-02-21T21:05:32+00:00

I'm not married yet, but I'll use my parents as example.

My mother made more than my father, wile they both always worked full time. 100% of my mothers pay, without exception, when into retirement and investments and they lived on fathers salary.

About four years ago, my mother got a decent inheritance, and it paid off her car and went to investments. Last year, my dad received a dent inheritance as well. Did some home repairs and invested the remainder.

I plan on doing the same when I get married in May. The fiancée makes about $20k more than me, but we can both easily live on my salary.

TheMarbleSlab · 2019-02-21T22:20:40+00:00

Did you not read the comments before posting? The comments talk about how doubtful her claim is and how she wants part of this money. Not some enemy or simp or mineminemine thing.

Heck I would also want part of this money if I was married to such a lucky woman. But we both know this not gonna happen, she would spend it alone or at best do something in the house. Or at least, if I was still healthy.

I would want her to tell me, but it is almost sure she would not tell me, or if she did, she would not help me or the family unit in any way. Only men are expected of this.

Face it my friend. Men have the short end of the stick in this regard. You making no sense.

squiddy_s550gt · 2019-02-21T21:13:52+00:00

I believe in most states inheritance is not a shared asset. So the person who inherited it should keep it and do what they want with it.

15k isn't much money really, if it was a decent amount i would invest it

beachredwhine · 2019-02-21T21:40:36+00:00

Wife has inherited money. It went into the money pot because that's what we have. A big money pot of our money. If my wife wants something she asks, though, since she's a SAHM and she considers all the money my money. That's just her deal though. So if I let her buy something she gets excited like a little kid getting a big Christmas present and thanks me like crazy. Like when I let her get a new fitbit. When I want something I just buy it. I keep track of the money and I make enough that we don't really have money problems.

When she has the itch to go shopping she'll take five dollars to the dollar store and go nuts.

Women should be pretty wary of getting involved with a mgtow or mgtow leaning guy. That's not the kind of guy who is going to make a remotely good husband.

CainPrice · 2019-02-21T22:37:48+00:00

Inheritance is separate property in all 50 states. Legally, as long as an inheritor doesn't co-mingle his or her inheritance (or any other separate property for that matter) with marital assets, it remains separate property. It's not income. It's not community property.

So from a purely black-letter perspective, if a spouse tells his or her partner about an inheritance, it's something he or she is voluntarily doing, out of the goodness of his or her heart. A favor. A courtesy.

Now what happens when a man tells his wife he just inherited 15,000 dollars that is legally 100% his? His wife immediately asks what -we- are going to do with the money. The second he tells her, it's no longer 100% his money, because whatever he does with it, she is now judging him. If he doesn't spend it on something that benefits her or the family, even though it is 100% his sole property, she is angry, even though she has no legal entitlement to the separate property.

The idea that if you come into money that is not legally your spouses, you should still share it with her and your family anyway - in fact, you are obligated to or you are a jackass - seems a little stilted.

sadomasochrist · 2019-02-21T21:06:47+00:00

He died and she still doesn’t know what he did with that money.

It rhymes with lidocaine and moore's.

[deleted] · 2019-02-21T21:32:33+00:00

I would expect her to tell me the amount but not give me anything. It is her money

says_harsh_things · 2019-02-21T22:13:16+00:00

15k goes into the pot with everything else. Wouldnt think twice about it.

EchoZeroEleven · 2019-02-21T22:41:39+00:00

Do you expect your wife to tell you? Would you consider it family money?

Yes on both accounts.

What would you do if you inherited $15,000?

Do the same: tell my wife and consider it family money. As to the actual use of it - probably address any immediate needs, set some aside for big purchases/renovations, tithe 10%, and use the rest for fun.

OverWatchIsAShitGame · 2019-02-21T21:02:39+00:00

Depends on your already defined finances.

Joint account? Share it.

Keep separate other than bills? keep to yourself

Taipanshimshon · 2019-02-21T21:04:25+00:00

You should tell her. And do what ever the hell you want with it according to your goals

TheMarbleSlab · 2019-02-21T21:04:46+00:00

We got into an argument. He doesnt think he did any thing wrong. I brought up how even though my Christmas bonus was my money, I still used it for stuff that we needed. He said that's my fault because he never asked me to use it on that stuff.

If she truly sees them as partners why didn't she ask him before using the money on home improvements or whatever stuff she felt they needed?

Not ask in the sense of permission, but ask in the sense of consensus

red88lobster · 2019-02-21T22:27:48+00:00

Her whiz ,. Maybe you should look into married red pill. Not MGTOW .

[deleted] · 2019-02-22T00:37:21+00:00

MGTOW, a husband and wife are not a team, but enemies

Eh, strawman imo.I'd identify as MGTOW, and I'd say the answer to OPs question is obvious. you deal with it the same way as every other decision about money. If a relationship has no concept of "my money" for example only "our" money, then its "our money"

If each works and thats their money respectively, then its her money.

Her christmas bonus was her money and she decided what to do with it, but its supposed to be different here? I font get it.

That he spent $15k on gaming shit lol really? I'm with others I dont buy that for a minute. Something fishy is going on there.

We are only getting what op of that thread wants us to know.

I'm guessing he spent the money in a way she disagreed with, and she wants his money to be "our money" hand her money is hers.

Barely-moral · 2019-02-22T03:03:20+00:00

If my partner gets money I don't care. She can tell me, she can hide it. I don't care at all.

It is her money to use as she pleases.

I do my part in the relationship, she does her part. I do not expect any money from her, keeping our lifestyle is my part of the deal.

TheMarbleSlab · 2019-02-22T07:31:45+00:00

Women don't date or marry the guys who wouldn't have done that.

Again women prefer assholes, and then they cry in astonishment when her husband turns out to be... an asshole.

MrHerbSherman · 2019-02-21T21:14:25+00:00

No, an inheritance is specifically not marital property according to the laws of my state.

I more or less agree w the laws, except I don’t think retirement accounts should be marital property

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Melohdy · 2019-02-21T22:31:20+00:00

If I received the money, damn straight she'd claim it. If she received it, I might not expect any, but I might buy something I otherwise might not.

GBBL · 2019-02-21T22:38:40+00:00

I don’t feel like it needs to be a difference between normal finances. If the husband and wife already share all money I’m not sure why this would differ. That said, spend it all on paying things down. That helps everyone.

RedPill-BlackLotus · 2019-02-21T23:20:52+00:00

I wouldn't tell her anything. If she came into 15k she would sing like a canary.

GoldPilot · 2019-02-22T05:59:34+00:00

If she didn't tell me, I'd be pretty annoyed. Granted, it's hers to spend and I'd respect her decision, but not telling me implies an uncomfortable lack of trust.

I'd tell her if the money dropped into my lap. Communication is important, and I'd need an audience for my victory dance anyway. If there was nothing especially important that I, we, or she needed, I'd split it with her. Giving her $7,500 is some pretty hype husband behavior, if you ask me.

I'm not married though, so what would I know.

LeJacquelope · 2019-02-22T06:56:29+00:00

According to MGTOW, a man doing this is a simp. According to MGTOW, a husband and wife are not a team, but enemies. The man shouldn’t invest into the family or team, but instead go “MINE MINE MINE”

Sheesh, this is what turns me off from MGTOW, particularly their view that there are no exceptions. The mating scene is quite terrible out there, but you gotta keep your eyes open, a good woman will come along at some point. MGTOW would call me an idiot for saying that.

[deleted] · 2019-02-22T09:41:43+00:00

It's her money.. legally... at least here. It's up to her to decide.

TheMarbleSlab · 2019-02-22T09:57:06+00:00

I expect her to tell me of course. If in your hypothetical we're married I don't see why she'd hide such big news from me, unless we also happen to be so rich that $15k ain't a big deal, but a man can dream.

Do I expect her to give me any? Not really, if she inherited it from her family that's her money. If she wants to share it with me that's great. But I won't hold a grudge if she doesn't. It's her money.

If it was me who inherited the money the same rules apply. I wouldn't hide it but whether I give any to my hypothetical wife here is up to me, it's my money.

Truth be told I probably would buy her some nice things with it, or if she had debts I'd help pay some off, because she wouldn't be my wife if I didn't love her. But it'd stay in my account and I'd spend most of it on me. You can get some decent used cars for that money.

if her husband wasn’t a jackass.

Lol gotta love these loaded questions. It's him who inherited the money. I'm pretty sure if you had a hubby and you inherited $15k and he demanded you must give it to him you would tell him to fuck off. Most people would react that way.

It's one thing to use your money to buy a few things for your wife, it's another thing for her to call you a "jackass" because he wanted to keep his money in his pocket.

TheMarbleSlab · 2019-02-22T11:35:51+00:00

Why do you care what MGTOW incels think? The only thing the husband did bad was hiding this fact. He should have told. But it was his money after all and a wife has no claim on it. However that guy sounds like a really sad husband too and he bought escapist equipment, to escape from her constant nagging, I suspect. The marriage is over.

Orange_Paisley · 2019-02-21T22:13:24+00:00

I would tell my wife about it, but pretty much decide what to do with it on my own. In all likelihood it would just go to paying things off like mortgage, student loans or other bills. 15k is not a lot of money for us, my wife and i can bring that in working a single 4 day convention.

If wife had any problem with how i decided to spend it i would just threaten to split our finances which i've found is a reliable way to make her stfu and sit down. As much as she gripes about money or how i spend she knows that i outearn her and that i pay more than my fair share on every bill or financial obligation in our lives, so she's not about to rock that boat.

I consider myself a married MGTOW, and yes i know that's a contradiction in terms. Sadly I found the manosphere too late, already married with kids. My kids are my top priority in life and i buy the argument that divorce would create instability and possibly fuck up their lives, so its out of the question.

Anyway, OP, i think you are missing the point maybe. You chose a bad example, a guy shouldn't just leave his kids bereft and have the money vanish into a black hole. That makes you a dickhead regardless of whether you are "MGTOW". The real point of not telling your wife about money like that is to prevent that gay shit that women do where they feel entitled to have an input on everything, question your judgement, bicker, argue, try to control things, worry, be anxious, get OCD/controlling, fixate, and just kind of bitch about everything.

The real way the convo should go:

"Wife, I inherited 15k and I'm going to spend it as i see fit"

"Yes husband, you are the best. I trust your judgement. Let me worship your cock tonight"

That's how it SHOULD go in a sane world, but it too often doesnt, thats why its best to just be as separate, aloof and detached from your wife as humanly possible. Because everything they do seems at least subconsciously calculated to drive your cortisol levels through the roof and thereby kill you. They offer nothing but stress and decreasing levels of uninspired sex, so why the fuck should one share anything with them.

TLDR: If you don't want to, legit, die from excessive nagging, then don't talk to your wife.

diffdedbed · 2019-02-21T23:51:18+00:00

My wife is expected to inherit about 2 million when her parents die. We aren't counting on that but she told me when they told her and of course its family money. I also wouldn't begrudge her of it as her parents saved and created that money while never even being upper middle class income. I can only wish I had their disapline. It's not mine.

darksoldierk · 2019-02-22T02:59:41+00:00

15k is kinda low, I don't care much about 15k, I guess that I would care about is that it's an accumulation of funds from my father, and he intended for it to come to me, not for it to come to be spent on the wife.

Lets say it's 150k. For 150k, I wouldn't tell her. More than likely, what I would do would be to take it to my lawyer, set up a trust, and ensure that the funds could only be withdrawn under the following circumstances. 1) By my kids for the payment of their university and 2) by myself in the situation that a divorce has occurred, and instructing the lawyer to make sure that there is enough stipulation to ensure that the money and it's investment gains are out of reach of divorce court. If #2 is not possible, I'd go on a "business trip" to one of those countries that my country's courts can't reach, and set up the trust there.

The courts would force me to pay her half of every penny I earn, which translates to the courts forcing me to give her a portion of my life (time=money), but I"ll be damned if I let my father's money go to some woman, even if she is currently my wife.

Her son didn’t go to college because he couldn’t afford it. Her son is okay, but he could have gotten a bachelors degree with minimal or no loans if her husband wasn’t a jackass.

It never ceases to amaze me how entitled women are, and how they believe that everyone is entitled to men's money. Men's bank accounts aren't a communal fund to be given to you or your kids on a whim just because you have a vagina, men earn it by giving up parts of their life for it, men have the right to determine who gets it and how to spend it.

Lady, it isn't the parent's job to pay for their children's university. It's a parent's job to make sure their kids can stand on their own two feet. My father offered to pay for my education, and I was raised well enough to not accept that offer. I worked 2 jobs as I went through university, and yeah, I took on some loans, but I was over18, I was an ADULT, and loans are a part of adulthood. Managing loans is a key part of life. I paid off my 15k in student loans within 3 years. At the time that I was paying off my student loans, I made $1700 a month, my rent (I had moved out at that point ) was $985 a month. I had insurance payments of $200 a month, and I paid $450 a month to the loans. I lived on $65 a month. This was in 2012. I then continued to earn my professional designation. That was another 30k, paid for by me, not my dad. Nothing could have prepared me for life better then living on $65 a month for 3 years, nothing. I was forced to cook, which made me discover the fact that I actually love cooking. I didn't have money to buy cigarettes, drugs or alcohol. Buying a 24 was like a once in a 6 month "special" event (where I live a 24 is $40). I couldn't get addicted to anything because I didn't have money for it. Then at 25, when I started making 80k/year, I lived like I was making half that, and I felt like I was living like a king, like I was buying whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. I watched my bank account go up thinking "holy shit, my bank is increasing at a much faster rate then I'd like, I should spend some money". That's how I was able to save up a downpayment for a condo in, what I last read to be, one of the most expensive cities in north America. Then I started playing the stock market, and I was comfortable to play the market, comfortable in making mistakes, because I knew that no matter how much I lost, my risk of financial distress was so low since I knew what "living within my means" meant and I knew that I could do it. I didn't lose in the market.

To this day, I thank my father for not paying for my loans. And he thanks me because he took the money he had saved for me and bought the house of his dreams, the house he wants to spend the rest of his life in. There is nothing that makes me happier then seeing my father retire in the comfort of a home he loves.

According to MGTOW, a husband and wife are not a team, but enemies. The man shouldn’t invest into the family or team, but instead go “MINE MINE MINE”

You've got it backwards, this thinking wasn't created by MGTOW or TRP and isn't followed by just MGTOW or TRP. This mentality wasn't created by men, it was created by women. Women were the ones who created a society where the system forces the man to give money to her simply because she breathes (via alimony and child support). THAT is the real "mine mine mine" mentality. The behavior that you refer to from MGTOW and TRP is just men conforming to women's train of thought and sense of entitlement. If women feel entitled to men's money then men are going to be more possessive of their own money.

Funny thing about this post is, I've actually stacked about 50k in an account that even I've forgotten about until just now. I put it in there before getting into my relationship. SHould be worth at least triple digits by now, hopefully it holds it's value so that if a divorce happens, I'm set to "disapear" in asia, far from the ridiculousness of western marital law.

Title	Q4Men: Your wife inherits $15,000. Do you expect your wife to tell you? What would you do if you inherited $15,000? Would you consider it family money?
Author	TheMarbleSlab
Upvotes	4
Comments	224
Date	February 21, 2019 9:00 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/at8dsk/q4men_your_wife_inherits_15000_do_you_expect_your/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4men-your-wife-inherits-15000-do-you-expect-your.257080 https://theredarchive.com/post/257080

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