Q4All: Have you ever been through heartbreak? If so, share your worst heartbreak story

HigHog · 2018-04-13T02:48:36+00:00

Woman, no pill. My biggest heartbreak was a second-trimester miscarriage. Early examinations had revealed normal development and a heartbeat. A few months later, I was doubled over in active labor while Mr. Upton drove like a bat out of hell to the hospital. The physical aftermath was just as revolting and heartbreaking as the emotional aftermath.

yasee · 2018-04-13T04:41:41+00:00

Female, blueish, and actually no. I married the first person I fell in love with. It's weird...realistically I know I'm lucky but sometimes I feel like I've missed out on this ubiquitous formative experience that is a regular part of growing up for most people. Like there's all these songs and stories and great art about heartbreak, and it kind of makes me suspect that there's some spiritual/creative value to being dumped, or at least that it helps you grow as a person

But in all likelihood that's romanticized BS and I sound like an idiot lol

solorathain · 2018-04-13T02:21:25+00:00

TLDR girlfriend of 1.5 years asked me to marry her and I said no. She ghosted me.

Male. Grey pill leaning on the side of red. (Im optimistic about discovering personal freedom but also nihilistic about the current state of society)

My last girlfriend was probably the best I ever had. She was a 6-7 in looks, never asked me about what i did for work for the first few weeks of dating, and fucked like a pornstar (and her libido was higher than mine). She also lived quite far away so we only saw each other on weekends. It was perfect.

We dated for a year and a half and out of the blue one day she asked me to marry her. I said i wanted to be with her forever and I don’t see a reason to get a contract in the middle because it would make things unnecessarily complicated.

She then let me know she wasn’t a citizen and needed a green card. If i married her i could help her with that.

I ultimately said no to the idea and she completely ghosted me. 1 and a half years, 1 year of which we called each other legit boyfriend and girlfriend seeing each other every weekend all weekend long poof aaaand its gone. She never talked to me even once after that.

I haven’t dated anyone since and from here on out have chosen a life of solitude. She left me scarred.

Callandoro · 2018-04-13T02:01:14+00:00

Male reddish purple

I’m going though it right now

Girlfriend who I really loved dumped me bc I am an asshole

But, i don’t dwell on it, I say “oh yeah there’s that feeling”, I feel the feeling and let it pass, and I move on with my life. I do what I can to be a better man and I have faith that life will get better.

sublimemongrel · 2018-04-13T02:23:38+00:00

Yes, although there’s a happy ending.

I broke up with my second boyfriend. He’s the only man I’ve ever experienced such strong intense feelings of love for that lasted for years. It was awful and I mourned that relationship for a long time, even had situational depression because of it, despite it being the right thing to do.

3 years of no contact and we started talking again, got back together and are now married.

Leaving him though was one of the hardest things I’ve ever chosen to do in my life. I’m grateful we both grew up and were able to make it happen for real.

Littleknownfacts · 2018-04-13T12:36:20+00:00

Okay I thought about which heartbreak I wanted to share, I can't say this one was the worst, but it's the most recent, so i haven't had the time to bury it yet.

My entire living memory, I've lived with my Mom and my step dad (from here on out just referred to as my dad, because again, he's the only "dad" I've ever known). And recently I found out the terms of my parents will, when they die, the property (the house I lived in and grew up in) is split between my mother's children and one of my father's sons. Half goes to my step brother, and the other half is split between my two sisters and myself.

Keep in mind, my step brother grew up living with his mother most of his life, he barely knew our father before he was an adult. I lived with him for nearly 18 years, right up until I left for college. I'm the one that visits home (because that's what it is to me), twice a year (since I live out of state) and the only one that shows up for Christmas. He goes there once every few years.

And honestly, it's completely not about the monetary compensation at all. Their entire property is worth less than a third of the houses I'm looking into buying now. I would have gladly sold my share to my step brother for a pittance anyway cause lord knows I don't want that house.

But it's entirely insulting to me to be counted in the will among my sisters to whom he has no relationship when I'm the one that grew up in that house, with him, as his child, longer than any of his other children could stand him. That I put up with his shit for so long and manages to still put together a halfway decent life for myself, again, unlike his other children. I'm the one that cooked and cleaned in that house, I played in that backyard, that is my room that I still sleep in when I go home. GAAAHHHHHH

firstpitchthrow · 2018-04-13T02:40:51+00:00

male, the red pill.

Heartbreak is a relative term. One of things that I think is a failing of the mgtow movement (and I am very sympathetic to mgtow) is that its unrealistic: men cannot simply avoid women. I'm nearly 40 years old, and I turn 40 in less than 2 weeks, and I've never been with a woman, nor have I come particularly close. I've maybe been out on one thing you could call a kinda-date, never kissed a girl, never had sex, and almost surely never will. Most men in this world luck into sex at least once every so often, and I hear people who think 4 years is a massive dry spell. I've never gotten close. I was always the weird kid in school, girls always shunned me, every time I've tried to ask a girl out, I've been turned down.

I subscribe to the red pill mostly because I believe in the edict of self-improvement, and consistent self-improvement. I read everything I can, and I am very motivated in my job, and my career has really taken off these last few years. I have no money worries whatsoever, and I expect to be comfortable enough to semi-retire, if I want to, before I turn 50, and be only a few years past that to full retirement, again, if I want to.

However, as I've never had sex, I feel like I'm missing out on a fundamental aspect of the human experience, and I feel heart-broken over it every single day. It paralysizes my life too. Just this afternoon, I met this really cute girl who was working in an ice cream shop and she's a college student. When I was younger, and had more hope, I might have chatted her up and tried to get her number. Today, I know what the odds are, she is:

1) about half my age

2) is smart, I was able to ascertain that quickly

3) definitely has a boyfriend

and

4) even if she didn't, she has no interest in dating someone twice her age.

So, I just make my order and I leave. Its not worth playing the game anymore, as I've gotten older, I've just gotten more and more depressed. It comes and it goes, I'm usually an extremely happy person, but, when I see that cute college girl serving ice cream in that cute ice cream parlor uniform, I am human, and its utterly depressing.

I've said before, but, my feeling is that I've only got one realistic option in life if I ever want to have female companionship someday: make my money, and then once my career is entrenched and I have enough industry contacts to get work no matter where I live, to move to some tropical island somewhere and pay island girls to pretend to like me. Its not happening here, given the parameters of my current life, and I don't want anyone to think I'm complaining. Everyone has some problems in life, and I choose to take on these particular problems because it beats the alternative. In other words, I know I could shake my girl problems if I really put my mind to it, but its also not the best use of my time. I used to post on reddit more, for example, but as work has picked up, I've had to cut back.

So, here I am, stuck. If I could shake my girl problems, and do so at a cost that made sense (which is the key), I'd do it. That cute girl at the ice cream parlor I met today? Would I pay five grand to bang her? You bet I would, the money doesn't really matter to me as much as it once did, I would be fully willing to pay a premium for a guaranteed rate of return, because once I paid that money and I did it with her once, I know me and I know I'd be good for a long time. As I've gotten older and my career has taken off, time matters to me a great deal more than money, when I was younger, it was the other way around.

Again, I'm usually a very happy person, but sometimes...it gets tough. A week ago, I found out that the girl I had the biggest crush on in High School finally got married, that was rough. The girl at the ice cream parlor today, that was rough. As I've grown older, I've learned to better identify my triggers, so that I can manage my happiness, but sometimes, its just unavoidable.

Salty-Bastard · 2018-04-13T03:32:49+00:00

13 months with a Cluster B woman.....nuff said.

TheMedsPeds · 2018-04-13T02:30:33+00:00

Worst "heart break" I ever experienced....ehhhhh..

One time many moons ago, I had recently been ghosted on by this dude I had being seeing for a few months. There was this guy I kinda knew from college that I didn't pay any mind to because I was so fixated on the first guy who ghosted on me. Well he saw that I was vulnerable so he swooped in and did the whole cliche like "I will be there for you" bullshit.

My dumbass 19-year-old self fell for it. After a few weeks of us being a thing, I started to really like him and as soon as I started to let my guard down and push towards commitment, he ghosted on me too. But yeah, turns out I was just one of his side chicks and as soon as he got used to me and the fire of banging someone new wore off he had 0 use for me and dipped. No good bye, no reason, nothing, just stopped responding to texts and Myspace messages.

Red flags that I was too stupid to notice at the time: he had a social media page with a lot of info hidden (this was Myspace days) most of the friends were female but his top 8 and comments were hidden. He was hesitant about me going meet his band, family or friends. He always wanted to come to my place. 99% of our relationship was us at my place with the exception of him going with me to a concert out of town (wouldn't see anyone he knew.)

One of my more computer-friendly friend was able to copy his his Myspace ID and pull up his comments and top 8. Turns out he had a main chick and several girls flirting and hitting him up before we met, while we were talking and while we were hanging and of course...after.

After that I became EXTREMELY skeptical of men. I guess you can say it was my "defining moment" that made me realize how un-genuine some people can be.

Nomadonesallowed · 2018-04-13T06:51:35+00:00

Male

Red

Spiralled into a deep depression in late teens because women didn’t want me. I was so lonely, so idealistic I just wanted somebody to share things, love and be happy with.

Learned Game aged 21 then it became depressingly easy but never really felt the same about women or love as I did growing up.

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RockinSocksII · 2018-04-13T02:14:55+00:00

I had a boyfriend in 8th grade if you can call him that. Never even kissed, but God damn did it sting when he broke up with me over email.

DemonConsulting · 2018-04-13T07:53:16+00:00

Female, Red and I have not, thankfully. I married the first man I fell in love with. Which is really weird, outside the norm and I feel very lucky. I know many people grow with adversity but heartbreak in particular seems to be hard to overcome, with many people becoming depressed, angry, and permanently disinclined to trust others. Since I am already not a very trusting person and have a hard time forming connections or building relationships with people, I suspect that a bad heartbreak would be an easy ticket to life as a cat lady or murder-suicide in my case...

Entropy-7 · 2018-04-13T12:35:11+00:00

Male, Red Pill

Let's see. . .

Her

I was blue pill at the time. She was a single mother. What was heartbreaking was - and I only figured it out later - that she was probably BPD. We dated seriously for a year and a half but I was always wondering why she would do all sorts of irrational shit. We broke up when she kicked me out of the apartment. Still,we were on and off for almost a decade after that. It was heartbreaking because I was so bewildered about her behaviour and later when I figured it out there was nothing that could be done. She had a very sweet side to her but she, and our relationship, were just too damaged.

PennnyLame · 2018-04-13T13:30:26+00:00

[EDIT: Female, Blue]

Not romantic but I consider it heartbreak. My best friend always had a drinking problem but in my early 20’s it didn’t seem all that abnormal. She was a writer: writers drink. We started our most ambitious project that had investors involved and garnered some solid press in the early stages. Under this pressure her drinking became worse than ever. She withdrew, allowing less and less input on the work and delivering less and less content. She started drinking at 10AM everyday. By evening she would be obliterated and sometimes violent. She was weeks behind deadline so a group of us working on the project took over the script and insisted she take a break- we wrote for 72 hours to get things to a workable place. She started sleeping with one of the people working in the project and he actively encouraged her drinking, I think he knew it was his “in” as everyone else in her life was encouraging her to slow down/stop. She wasn’t just out of his league, they were playing different fucking sports. Finally a group of friends had a pseudo-intervention. With her new bf’s support she told us she didn’t have a problem and told us all to fuck off.

She and I never talked again. She eventually cheated on the guy and hey broke up. From what I hear, she still drinks. I mostly wonder what she could have accomplished with her undeniable talent if she had listened when everyone she loved and trusted begged her to get help.

planejane · 2018-04-13T13:37:26+00:00

Purpadurp, Female Type.

Breaking up with my college ex.

He was just a selfish guy. So many things that I shrugged off or overlooked when we were together just staring me in the face later, but I was young and even though I knew how to be a good partner, I thought that since he didn't hit me and said he loved having me around, that meant he loved me (it didn't).

I made his life easy, I was a good woman for him, but even though he wasn't malicious, he wasn't invested, either. He refused to do holidays with my family or come to college events honoring my academic accomplishments. We could only go to weddings of his friends or our mutual ones-coming anywhere as my date was too stressful for him.

I broke up with him six months after I followed him out of state. I moved there because he asked. I had blown through my savings cause I couldn't find a decent job and he freaked out about splitting the bills. I tried to do what I could to keep him happy, but he was always angry and miserable, and we completely stopped having sex. I said several times I was miserable and could we work on some things or try to reconnect with each other, but he blew them all off cause he was working long hours at his "dream job" that turned out to be a nightmare.

When I broke it off with him, the first thing he did was call me a cheating whore, even though at the time he was the only man who'd ever done more than kiss me. He threw my belongings out the door in plastic garbage bags.

Now, I'm no saint, but if I have ever loved anyone, I want the best for them. Even him-it's been several years but I heard he had a new girl and they have a dog and a house now, and I'm glad for him. When I got back to our original hometown, it was February and I had nowhere to go. Our mutual friends wouldn't take me in (even though he proceeded to alienate most of them within the next year by turning into a sour, nasty shell of a person). I ended up sleeping with a few guys I sort-of knew just for a warm place to sleep and a shower, since I was living out of my car for a few weeks.

I don't know exactly what he's doing now, but I hope he's happy and doing well. He wasn't malicious but he fucked up a lot of expectations I had about men for a very long time. I had thought being in a relationship meant taking care of each other but although I tried my hardest to bring everything I had-money, sex, home-making, and more, really, at the end of the day, he merely tolerated me so that he had sex and a security blanket. There were good times-I wouldn't have dated him for over five years if there weren't, but he was thoroughly self-invested. There are still times when I'm with my new guy and he does something for me just to do it, and I start to tear up cause it's been forever since I had anyone really want to take care of me, and I've completely forgotten what that feels like.

EsauTheRed · 2018-04-13T04:59:36+00:00

Gf of 7 months went on a trip with another man, other man's family seeks me out after a night of tripping on acid with gf, handling her while she gets stuck in a kind of vomiting loop after laughing and crying at the same time. I got no sleep that night because I was tweaking on acid, and that was followed by getting massively bitched at by her the next day out of nowhere. It all blows up at 2 AM, I shake her awake an hour later, tell her what I know and take her home.

Apparently she had been two-timing me since the start of the relationship and met this guy even before me. The thing is we spent every weekend together and she always made time for me, never refused sex, was always enthusiastic. The guy complained about spending all his money on the trip. I've never worn a condom with her and prefer to blow loads in her (it's my thing). I've had multiple pregnancy scares and have probably spent $250 on plan B with her. I blew up on her at first and went after her reputation with her family and friends, but she is my FWB to this day and we laugh about him (who she still seems to be milking, I've just been contacted by her family a year later because something is going on with this dude) but it simultaneously makes me butthurt and feel icky and I know I don't have the full story nor will I ever get it. I just try not to think of it and have decided that the enthusiastic sex is truth enough. She also has told me the next time she gets pregnant that she is going to keep it.

I'm still recovering from the mindfuck tbh, this is only part of the story and doesn't include the full detail of her and my misdeeds, and there is always more unfolding.

[deleted] · 2018-04-13T14:56:44+00:00

Yes, I have been.

I'm surprised people are sharing their stories here. This isn't exactly a safe space to do that, particularly for Reds and particularly for men. I've been through heartbreak, but I won't be putting that story here, for exactly this reason.

[deleted] · 2018-04-13T16:30:29+00:00

Not really, I've always been the one to end things so obviously i don't get to attached

Title	Q4All: Have you ever been through heartbreak? If so, share your worst heartbreak story
Author	Pooch231
Upvotes	6
Comments	91
Date	April 13, 2018 1:53 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/8bvmwx/q4all_have_you_ever_been_through_heartbreak_if_so/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4all-have-you-ever-been-through-heartbreak-if-so.262889 https://theredarchive.com/post/262889

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