What's this sub's opinion on stay at home dads

Butt-Factory · 2017-11-25T03:46:26+00:00

One of my brothers did this for the first few years of his son's life. His wife earns more money so it made the most financial sense. Other than the common challenges of any stay at home parent (exhaustion/sleep deprivation, isolation, stress, etc), it worked out beautifully for them and they are planning to do the same for their second child that they are trying for now.

My close friend went back to work when her infant was 2 months old and her husband is also staying home. Again because she's the breadwinner. They have a strong marriage and it's working out for them as well.

I don't think it's really very relevant since only high income families can consider the option of a stay at home parent.

tiposk · 2017-11-25T04:45:40+00:00

Is it even possible that a woman maintains respect and attraction for a man who stays at home and watches the kids?

Yes, it's possible. Sometimes it's the practical thing to do. It only becomes a problem if you let it become a problem. Although I'd understand if a man doesn't want to be in this position. I'm a woman and I'd be bored to death if I had to stay at home changing diapers.

Salty-Bastard · 2017-11-25T03:21:10+00:00

I think SAHD will struggle with their biological imperative for at least 2 generations before it becomes a norm.

Lolashaulke · 2017-11-25T08:26:38+00:00

I'm disinterested in being a parent, but if I were to decide to pursue marriage and babies with a man it would be with the understanding that he would be the primary parent.

I personally admire pride and competence, so I would be extremely put off by a man who stayed at home with kids and did the on Facebook all day complaining about how you need a glass of wine sort of thing entirely unbearable, particularly if coupled with bratty kids. However, a guy who enjoyed being a parent, planned engaging activities and showed sincere passion in what he was doing I wouldn't be put off. So, I'd say this one comes down to attitude.

SpaceWhiskey · 2017-11-25T17:37:50+00:00

Several of the men in my life are stay at home dads, I think it’s awesome. And while I don’t have kids or plan to, my fiancé and I joke all the times about how he’s the “housewife”. He works part time from home and does the majority of the domestic chores and cooking, I work two jobs and handle the more administrative tasks. I’ll be the one playing video games or watching football while he’ll sit back and read a magazine about decorating or table scaping. Fuck gender norms, this setup is perfect for us.

washington_breadstix · 2017-11-25T03:23:14+00:00

I wouldn't think that "this sub" has one cohesive opinion.

Red-leaning members of this community will probably mostly agree that stay-at-home dads subvert the natural gender roles that make men and women attracted to each other and promote their symbiosis, if you will. And blue-leaning members will say that established gender roles are bullshit and acknowledge the impracticality of a one-size-fits-all viewpoint.

Kralee · 2017-11-25T03:39:20+00:00

I personally think stay-at-home-dads are great and this is the ultimate time to be a stay-at-home-dad.

Women have broken through the glass ceiling and can easily be the breadwinner of the household. With access to the internet a dad with the kids at school can learn to do basically any odd job around the house with cooking, cleaning, gardening, auto-repair, appliance repair, electrical work and solar paneling just to name a few.

However, the general population of women do not yet share this opinion. Stay-at-home-dads are statistically the highest demographic of men to get divorced.

There is many Dear Jane and r/relationship posts of wives sadly complaining that they come home from a competitive male dominated job to see their own man covered in baby food changing a dirty diaper and just lose all sexual attraction to him.

I hope more men will opt to be stay-at-home-dads but this one is on the ladies to change.

RockinSocksII · 2017-11-25T04:08:34+00:00

I'm not planning on having kids, but this sort of situation would be perfect for me.

wtknight · 2017-11-25T04:43:15+00:00

I think so, if it's something that she values in a man and he manages to do an impressive job at it. Not every woman is going to be impressed by a stay-at-home dad, though.

crackrocksteady7 · 2017-11-25T03:33:39+00:00

statistically irrelevant

Orange_Paisley · 2017-11-25T07:34:24+00:00

In ‘theory, I am fine with it. It is up to each family to decide their childcare situation. When my daughter was 1, my ex quit his job to stay home with our child while I worked and earned us health benefits. In practice, after two exemplary moths he quickly succumbed to boredom and drug addiction, and I would come home to have to clean house and take care of our kid while he went out for hours. So in practice, I still believe it is up to each individual family, but as far as I am concerned we both need to work (and/or provide income).

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2017-11-25T05:51:17+00:00

The problem with this question is a EXTREMELY large separation between idealism and realism.

Idealism will say that everything will work at just fine and women can break the glass ceiling etc.

In reality, what will happen is that the woman will feel more powerful than the man in the relationship, and lose attraction for him. Women are naturally inclined to men in positions of power.

Now, this might not be the case, depending on how the woman perceives the man.

This dude

https://i1.wp.com/allhiphop.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/KayJaySeize-e1482245712186.jpg?fit=1737%2C1197&ssl=1

and this dude

https://s3.envato.com/files/75071166/00293.jpg

will have very different experiences as stay at home dads.

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theluckyfrog · 2017-11-25T04:43:59+00:00

Granted I don't have kids, but I think I'd be fine with it. I'm not the type to stay at home, but I do think a full time parent is a nice thing for young kiddos. Frees me up from feeling conflicted. I'd hope he'd go back to work at least by the time they hit high school, though.

[deleted] · 2017-11-25T06:15:34+00:00

It is possible but highly unlikely

philomexa · 2017-11-25T23:25:58+00:00

my husband is a stay at home dad, it's working out well for us. I make far more money than him so it only made sense for him to stay home (he also has a home based ebay business, so he was already at home).

Our child is thriving, sex life is still active, plus son and husband get to forge a special bond 10/10, would do again.

[deleted] · 2017-11-26T23:20:59+00:00

They're rebels.

Doing what's best for their families and giving the middle finger to the assholes.

Awesome dudes.

[deleted] · 2017-11-27T17:57:29+00:00

well, you probably aren't going to see "the sub's" perspective on it.

My own view on it, backed up by experience and from women of all pill colors, is that women do not maintain respect or attraction for SAHDs. Women do not want to support a man financially. Some -- SOME -- women will remain married to a man who earns less than they do, but he must be educated, have at least one college degree, work in a relatively high status field, and/or be very physically attractive.

Entropy-7 · 2017-11-25T04:37:54+00:00

Setting aside what your bread-winning partner might think (even subsconsiously) there is also the fact that friends, employers and even the courts will not cut you as much slack as a woman who stays at home. Society just isn't there yet.

If it is hard for a SAHM to get back in the workforce, it is twice as hard for a SAHF.

If the relationship breaks down, do you really think daddy will get full custody, child support and alimony from mom?

If a friend made this choice, I would try to talk him out of it, or find some other way to work things out. It is just bad news.

bala-key · 2017-11-25T09:09:13+00:00

It's harder than normal to maintain sexual attraction long term when the gender roles are swapped.

PBRScagsquad · 2017-11-25T03:44:25+00:00

I dunno, I imagine for most guys it's probably awkward at first then you get used to it, of course if you're a pedophile then it's the ideal lifestyle, the only sucky part is waiting till they're old enough that they won't die from internal injuries.

Title	What's this sub's opinion on stay at home dads
Author	a_mans_perspective
Upvotes	8
Comments	66
Date	November 25, 2017 3:12 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/7fcj01/whats_this_subs_opinion_on_stay_at_home_dads/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/whats-this-subs-opinion-on-stay-at-home-dads.264742 https://theredarchive.com/post/264742

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