Q4W - How many of you have had unwanted sexual encounters that you call rape and what were the circumstances.

Butt-Factory · 2017-08-29T15:15:52+00:00

When I was 17, I used to frequently stay on my friend's couch on Friday and Saturday nights so I could more easily commute to my weekend job. This place wasn't a "party house", but friends were in and out pretty frequently.

I was asleep on the couch when someone broke in. It was the a friend of a friend who I had met in passing a few times. He woke me up by punching me in the face and dragging me off the couch, and attacked me on the floor. He then went upstairs and attempted to set a fire before leaving. He was not arrested for attacking me, but was later imprisoned for the rape of a 14 year old and felony arson. Seems as though he has a pattern. I'm not sure how long his sentence was.

The other assault was at about 8pm when I was walking home from the bus stop. A man ran up behind me, tackled me to the ground, dragged me around the corner, and tried to take my pants off. A passerby intervened and saved the day. He is still in prison.

Neither of these incidents changed my behavior, because I was doing necessary and normal things when they happened. Sleeping and walking.

Sy87 · 2017-08-29T15:39:47+00:00

Once upon a time, during college but not at college, I was sorta seeing this guy. Fooling around a while, nothing official. One night I brought him back to my place to fuck. He wanted to do anal, I did not. I told him often, and long before the heat of the moment that this was off the table. But that night, he pinned me down, and sodomized me. I kicked and screamed bloody murder and everything I could do against him. A few moments later he did get off of me saying if I didn't quite down the neighbors might say something. I took that moment to hit him as hard as I could across the face, and he looked absolutely bewildered that I would be displeased with his actions. The next few moments I don't remember at all. I don't remember him leaving, but eventually he was gone. A few weeks later he messaged me, said he was sorry and thought it was all part of the kink-play. I forgave him the best I could, even saw him a couple times after that since we had mutual friends, but I never put myself alone with him.

ClarityofDisaster · 2017-08-29T16:56:49+00:00

What were the circumstances that lead to the unwanted sexual contact.

My stepfather was a monster and apparently an opportunistic pedophilie.

What did you learn from it.

Lol. "Learn"? I guess I learned at an early age that you can't trust anyone, and that just because someone puts up a fancy front in public doesn't mean that's how they are behind closed doors. Also that sacrifice is important, because if I didn't do what he said he threatened to kill my pets and give these "attentions" to his younger daughters.

How did it change your future behavior, if any changes were made. If no changes were made, please explain why not AND if it has happened to you more than once.

Heh, how didn't it change my behavior is more like it. I still have haphephobia to the point I can't have sex with, kiss, or even hug people unless I've known them for months and I at least somewhat trust them to not be... like that. Hence my whopping N of 1 when I'm 32. 😒 I also have 5 dissociative identities, which only began when this shit started.

As for how often it happened? At least once a week from the time I was 10 until I'd scrapped together enough money to move out at 17.

Electra_Cute · 2017-08-29T15:10:53+00:00

I have never been raped, but I have been in a precarious sexual situations with a males. I just learned that it is probably poor idea to go somewhere alone with a sexually aroused male unless the intention is to put out for him, that sexually aroused males are extremely self-asserting and giving clear signals to stop is the consistent way to get those males to stop.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2017-08-29T15:36:37+00:00

i only call it "date rape" when im making a point about it in arguments, but when i was 16 i was housesitting for my moms friend in the city. i had friends over and we all took a bunch of acid. all my friends left but one guy who i kinda tried to make stay with me because i didnt want to be alone, if you had asked me at the time id have told you i did not want to have sex with him. because i was on acid i have no recollection of how he ended up on top of me havign sex with my body while i made trails over his head with my hands (if youve taken acid you know what i mean). i was definitely not "there" mentally and definitely didnt want it. he finished and left. yup. "raped"

to quote bob dylan:

The hysterical bride in the penny arcade Screaming, she moans, "I've just been made" Then sends out for the doctor, who pulls down the shade And says, "My advice is to not let the boys in"

Now, the medicine man comes and he shuffles inside He walks with a swagger and he says to the bride "Stop all this weeping, swallow your pride You will not die, it's not poison"

philomexa · 2017-08-29T17:02:33+00:00

1.) When I was 14 years old I befriended the new kid despite ignoring, or at least, not understanding all the red flags. New kid turned out to be a really fucking sadistic, creepy, stalker, rape-rapist. Over the course of 4 months he fucked my shit up (figuratively), culminating with him fucking my shit up (literally) which kicked off the failed legal proceedings.

2.) do not befriend weird people, in fact just don't befriend most people.

3.) I became an extremely discriminating resting bitch face Stacy with low tolerance for quirky/weird/loner types. (sorry spergs). Charisma Chads or GTFO.

Fexa-Aura · 2017-08-29T15:12:53+00:00

What were the circumstances that lead to the unwanted sexual contact.

Living with my father

What did you learn from it

That evil exists and some people are just malevolent.

[deleted] · 2017-08-29T17:31:50+00:00

Wanted to make sure to say thank you to the women who contributed their experiences to this post!

shoup88 · 2017-08-29T15:20:10+00:00

[deleted]

[deleted] · 2017-08-29T18:26:37+00:00

It didn't turn into rape but it could have.

When I was 18 I went out drinking with two friends (a guy and girl, they were dating). Shady place. No ID was checked at the door. Dressed normally. Blue jeans and long sleeve shirt. It was winter time.

We went back the guy's place. They went to bed and I passed out on the couch in the living room. I woke up with someone in the room and it was the guy's neighbor/friend. He came by to see what his buddy was up to and found me on the couch. He was drunk. Tried to get on top of me and kiss me. I pushed him off and convinced him to leave. He did and I went back to sleep. I was extremely drunk.

I told this story to a male friend years afterwards and he asked me why I put myself in that position. It pissed me off and definitely felt like victim shaming.

I wasn't at a random party doing this. I was in a room all alone. A stranger just appeared out of nowhere. How was I suppose to see that coming?

It didn't change my behavior because at the time I didn't see it as potential rape until 5 years later at a sexual assault seminar I had to take for work. A similar story was told.

What did I learn? My alcohal limit.

Lolashaulke · 2017-08-29T15:59:21+00:00

I've never been raped, but I have been sexually assaulted. I'll still answer for the sake of contributing to the overall dialogue, though I don't consider this incident to be rape.

I was fifteen years old and sitting downtown in the morning with two friends waiting to go to a cosplay event. I was dressed from neck to toes, almost no skin showing. A drunk man approximately thirty five to fifty five came up reeking of alcohol and told me I looked nice as me and my friends were standing up to go. I said thank you. He then pinned me to the wall and groped me for a few minutes before my friends bailed me out.

I learned not to go out with those friends anymore, which was also my main change, but I was in public, in a group, in broad daylight, covered from neck to toe. I suppose I give men who compliment me in public less time of day now to avoid drawing more unwanted attention.

sunkindonut149 · 2017-08-29T20:04:29+00:00

The storage unit dwelling guy (who is 50 BTW) tried to trap me in a corner and stick his hand in my pants but I was able to pry loose.

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Title	Q4W - How many of you have had unwanted sexual encounters that you call rape and what were the circumstances.
Author	GoingTheDistancex
Upvotes	4
Comments	189
Date	August 29, 2017 2:52 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/6wrpvx/q4w_how_many_of_you_have_had_unwanted_sexual/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4w-how-many-of-you-have-had-unwanted-sexual.266288 https://theredarchive.com/post/266288

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