How serious do you consider the act of flirting with other people while in a relationship?

Littleknownfacts · 2017-06-20T23:23:50+00:00

Depends on the context. If my SO is flirting with a little old lady or a client or what ever, that's fine. If he's flirting with the bank teller or waitress or whatever, that's fine, he's not likely to ever see her again. If he's constantly flirting with a friend or co-worker, someone he sees in a regular basis, that's an issue.

Pope_Lucious · 2017-06-20T23:13:16+00:00

It all depends on context. I would advise men to keep flirting, even if in a relationship, to keep their skills sharp. This keeps their social skills sharp and also makes them better to be around for their partner.

RockinSocksII · 2017-06-20T23:15:22+00:00

It's shitty. I would only consider breaking up if it's a constant thing that's happening.

GridReXX · 2017-06-21T01:02:56+00:00

I'm a flirter. It's my default interaction with people, women, men, the elderly, children, dogs, Jesus, etc..

And I like seeing my SO flirting because it makes me feel even more delighted to have them if other people also find them charming and sexually attractive.

It keeps the relationship alive! Charisma and charm aren't evil.

I find some people's version of a relationship to be restrictive. Like living in a prison where the only person you should ever want to talk to ever is your SO. It's weird.

Hairbrainer · 2017-06-20T23:34:15+00:00

I wouldn't think much of it. A lot of people are natural/unintentional flirts, myself included. I recognize when things cross the line with my partner, and I trust them enough to know the same.

[deleted] · 2017-06-20T23:48:26+00:00

It's not something I care about at all, really.

My SO is a natural flirt. It's part of who he is and a huge part of what endeared him to me. I don't expect him to change something that's a just part of his personality.

I talk a lot here about how we like to go out dancing, which often involves dancing with other people and that can get into flirty territory. It's all in good fun as long as you leave with the one that brought you, as they say.

Now, if the flirting got physical or if I knew he had an ongoing flirtatious relationship with a particular woman, that'd be a different thing. (And even the latter is contextual. He has longtime female friends who he has a sort of flirty relationship with and I consider that harmless.)

shoup88 · 2017-06-21T00:45:11+00:00

Flirting in front of your partner is rude and disrespectful. Flirting when they're not there is harmless. I think flirting is fine as long as both parties no it doesn't mean anything. I'm careful not to flirt with any guys I think would actually try and pursue anything. Hot guys with abundance mentality only please.

My partners not a flirt, but if he was I think I'd be okay with it. Just make sure you flirt with me too.

uto-uto · 2017-06-21T06:03:54+00:00

beyond brief friendly E-rated banter... it's pushing it. i don't know that it warrants a fight or breakup initially; depends on the degree and type of flirting happening. if you express that you don't appreciate your partner doing it and it continues or escalates though, i can see it reaching a fight or breakup point.

Butt-Factory · 2017-06-20T23:17:23+00:00

I don't give a fuck, as long as he isn't being a dick about it.

bala-key · 2017-06-20T23:39:10+00:00

It can range from absolutely harmless to open disrespect that warrants a next / downgrade.

despisedlove2 · 2017-06-20T23:51:17+00:00

It is cheating.

[deleted] · 2017-06-20T23:14:42+00:00

IMO, being in a relationship shouldn't mean you stop being a charismatic motherfucker and that means people will occasionally think you're being flirty. That's fine and nothing but harmless fun. But you should never actively flirt or lead people on when in a relationship.

figthief · 2017-06-21T02:39:55+00:00

I don't consider it bad at all. Flirting is a normal social skill. I flirt with my nephew. My uncles flirted with me.

Anglosphere type culture is weird about flirting. Quips and insults are acceptable forms of flirting, but compliments aren't.

Anyway, I love to flirt. I can't wait til I'm super old and then people will have no choice to but to listen to it.

[deleted] · 2017-06-21T00:14:45+00:00

It's gotten me in trouble in the past.

wtknight · 2017-06-21T02:16:03+00:00

I think both parties need to agree upon how much flirting with other people is acceptable. Then, if somebody crosses that line, that person has broken that agreement. If two people in a relationship can't agree on how much flirting is a reasonable amount, then perhaps they are not compatible and shouldn't be in a relationship.

goatismycopilot · 2017-06-21T02:46:39+00:00

Depends on context, I am not keen on openly flirting in front of a partner, but I also live in the South and people banter and "honey" and "sugar" total strangers all the time.

[deleted] · 2017-06-20T23:09:10+00:00

Would not recommend. Even used as dread that's still playing with fire

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Love8Death · 2017-06-21T00:01:25+00:00

Apparently I've always been a flirt, before I even saw myself.

My rule is words and looks are fine, but no touching allowed. Touching crosses into a completely different realm. Also, nothing directly sexual.

When my woman's friends don't adhere to this and it feels manipulative, I get pretty pissed.

But otherwise, its all good fun and good social skills practice.

I love women's laughs and giggles especially.

midnightvulpine · 2017-06-21T01:06:08+00:00

The problem with trying to think about it as an act unto itself, unless you're the sort to dislike it out of hand, is that context is the main thing when deciding. The context of your trust in your SO. The context of your trust in the strength of the relationship. The context of who is flirted with. The context of how it happens. It all matters. Stripping all of that away just leaves teh kneejerk.

Me? Flirting in and of itself isn't a dealbreaker simply because of the weight of context that can flip how I see things. I'm not the sort of person who sees that kind of thing as inherently negative all by itself. If the context is concerning enough it would warrant a discussion at the very least.

Begotten912 · 2017-06-21T01:23:02+00:00

Used to bother me when I was a teenager

Willow-girl · 2017-06-21T03:17:07+00:00

My partner and I are both friendly people; we tend to talk to strangers, but not with a sexual undertone, so I wouldn't call it "flirting."

eliechallita · 2017-06-21T18:22:18+00:00

Really depends on context and type of relationship.

I'm in a non-monogamous relationship, and so my girlfriend an I don't have a problem with the other person being attracted to a third party. Flirting is only a problem for us if it leads to one of us feeling left out or devalued, or if one of us is doing it in an obnoxious or disrespectful manner.

washington_breadstix · 2017-06-22T02:53:14+00:00

I think the type of flirting that's acceptable is that which can effectively be reduced to just "giving compliments" or throwing out a spicy little quip. Like if you just want to boost someone's confidence by letting them know you think they're good looking or whatever. People can make those comments without even really meaning to. Where it crosses the line for me is if my SO was keeping the "flirting" going for more than a few seconds or a couple beats of the conversation. I wouldn't want my SO actively trying to strike up sexual/romantic energy between herself and another guy, regardless of whether I'm present or not.

Entropy-7 · 2017-06-23T05:26:53+00:00

I'm a terrible flirt but it is meaninless, but I won't do it around most girlfriends because they get so jealous and paranoid. I had one GF who was also a flirt and it didn't bother me in the least. She was super sexy and could get guys into a lather, and then I would take her home and fuck her brains out. I knew she was committed to me and what was in store at the end of the night so none of the flirting bothered me; in fact it was flattering to see a bunch of guys all salivating over what I was going to take to bed that night.

If a) your girl flirts and b) that makes you uncomfortable then one or two things are in play. Either you don't trust her because deep down you know she is a slut, or you are worried about your own inadequacies

Shaman6624 · 2017-06-24T18:19:38+00:00

Depends on the context:
-with who,
-the state of the relationship atm it happens -the intensity of the flirting

but in general from a man's point of view it gets frustrating if she's really into it cause that's a sign she really perceives him as higher status/value as you and that always stings a bit.

IamTheWalkingMenu · Wed Jun 21 0:35:25 2017 UTC

I don't mind it. Of course I want a guy that other girls like! As long as it doesn't go any further than banter of course. Getting numbers, uh no!!! He better not. I'm a flirty kind of girl tbh I mean duh that's no secret to PPD. 😉 But I try to keep it low key cuz I don't need any strays following me home.

ClarityofDisaster · 2017-06-21T01:18:36+00:00

I don't really know how to flirt, but get accused of it by strangers anyway. It's weird, but I don't let it bother me and my lover thinks it's kinda funny.

He's much better at it, by a huge amount. I think it's cool to watch him flirt with our waitress or random chicks while we're out and about. He doesn't do it as often anymore though, which is a little saddening.

Title	How serious do you consider the act of flirting with other people while in a relationship?
Author	ley110
Upvotes	6
Comments	99
Date	June 20, 2017 11:02 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/6ihr1p/how_serious_do_you_consider_the_act_of_flirting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-serious-do-you-consider-the-act-of-flirting.267478 https://theredarchive.com/post/267478

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