Lower levels of dread simply involve actual self improvement, like working out, proper dress and grooming, etc. These things are perfectly okay to do, so long as the intent isn't to cause discomfort to your significant other.

Higher levels of dread, on the other hand, involve actively attempting to make your significant other feel insecure about the relationship so you can get more of what you want from her. This is a form of subtle, but clearly hostile, manipulation. It comes from a place of total selfishness. Attempting to make your girlfriend, who you supposedly love, feel uncomfortable about the stability about the relationship she values, is wrong.

The proper way to go about making changes in your relationship is to act like an adult and tell her outright what you want, and if you can't get enough of it to be satisfied, she must not be for you. Make things clear from the beginning, rather than employing coersion and fear tactics.