Q4Women: In matters of approach to dating and relationships, what separates a Red Pill woman from a Blue Pill woman?

Justapasserby557 · 2017-03-10T19:41:41+00:00

In your opinion, what is the main principle that separates RP/BP women?

I'd say the main thing that separates them is the idea of submission/deference to the male partner (captain/first mate, etc.) RP women believe that a gendered hierarchy is the best way to approach things (at least for their own relationships), while BP women tend to prefer things to be more egalitarian.

That said, even as a blue woman who prefers an egalitarian relationship, I still think RPW have plenty of good advice.

In terms of self-improvement, in what category should a late teens-early 20's woman be investing most heavily: physical fitness/appearance, hobbies, education, or career?

Late teens and early twenties may be only a few years apart, but those are two VERY different age groups.

Late teens should be focusing on education IMO, and thinking about what she wants her future to look like. She should date if she wants but it shouldn't be the primary focus of her life at that stage. Once she reaches her twenties she should ideally have a pretty solid idea of what she wants her future to look like. If she wants a marriage and kids, now is the time to start seriously looking for a husband.

Hobbies and fitness/appearance should be ever-present concerns at any stage in life, but I don't see either of those things being an all-consuming focus like a career or a relationship would be.

For women who do want a fulfilling relationship and have their own kids, what is the optimal dating strategy and who are the optimal mates? Who are the realistic mates?

Really this depends on what a "fulfilling" relationship would look like for her. This is different for everybody. But I think the safest bet is to look for a family-oriented guy (a guy who is close to his own family and shows signs of being ready to settle down) with a stable career. (That doesn't necessarily mean super high-earning, and it doesn't mean he has to have a degree.)

Does it matter which sex initiates courtship?

I don't think so.

What should men contribute to dating/relationships? What should women contribute to dating/relationships?

I don't think "men" and "women" should contribute anything in a relationship. I'm not in a relationship with "men," I'm in a relationship with a man, my partner, and he is an individual who brings his own set of talents, strengths, ideas and challenges to the table.

At the base level, both partners in the relationship should provide mutually satisfying sexual intimacy, emotional support, and contribute to the home either financially or in other ways. Other variables will be highly dependent on the couple.

Which relationship would work out best and, if different from the former, which relationship do you typically shoot for: RP(female)/RP(male), RP(female)/BP(male), BP(female)/RP(male), or BP(female)/BP(male)?

No idea which would work best, this question is too theoretical for me. I can't really see RP male/BP female working, but otherwise I think any of these have potential to work depending on the individuals involved.

For a financially independent older woman (mid-30's and up) who still prefers to have a LTR with a male partner, between settling or learning to become content with being single for the rest of her life, which should she strive for?

In my opinion being content single is leagues better than being in an unsatisfying relationship.

TheChemist158 · 2017-03-10T20:33:57+00:00

RP is about having a male lead relationship, and cultivating a support role as a woman. Doesn't mean you are a slave, just that you will trust and defer to your man. BP is about egalitarian relationships. Doesn't mean men are women are the same, or everything is evenly split in the relationship. Just that there are no distinctly male or females roles, like in RP relationships.

I don't think either group really tells you what to do. You can be a RPW with a PhD and a BPW unemployed woman. RPW do try to cultivate feminine/support role skills. Being submissive, trusting, cooking, listening skills, things like that. BP is anything, it's less defined.

There is no optimal mate or best path. Some women would rather be in a male lead relationship, other's don't want that. A RP man isn't necessarily better than a BP man. It comes down to prefrence. As such, it's just about what fits your life wants better.

IamTheWalkingMenu · 2017-03-10T20:09:54+00:00

In your opinion, what is the main principle that separates RP/BP women?

RP women tend toward a more traditional conception of male and female attitudes and behaviors and balance of power.

In terms of self-improvement, in what category should a late teens-early 20's woman be investing most heavily: physical fitness/appearance, hobbies, education, or career? Please discuss any limits or "to what extent" as well (ie. "You just need to be slimmer than most women", "Learning to cook is a must", "Nothing beyond a bachelor's degree until you have the husband locked down", or "No limit. You shouldn't put your career on hold for anything, even for potential husband material.")

Of course for optimal dating options be as fit and attractive as you can. Work out and eat right also get enough sleep. I'd also recommend avoiding any extremes in your appearance. I'm all for getting an education. A formal one. How do you even know who and what you are without one? Guys that rant about it being a waste of time and money sound naive and dumb to me.

For women who do want a fulfilling relationship and have their own kids, what is the optimal dating strategy and who are the optimal mates? Who are the realistic mates?

Guys who want to be married and have kids. Duh.

Does it matter which sex initiates courtship? What should men contribute to dating/relationships? What should women contribute to dating/relationships?

Each should contribute. The guy should pay always and every time. jk. Girls should be girlfriend material. Hello. You don't get to have everything your own way. If you want something you have to do what it takes to get it.

Which relationship would work out best and, if different from the former, which relationship do you typically shoot for: RP(female)/RP(male), RP(female)/BP(male), BP(female)/RP(male), or BP(female)/BP(male)?

No way to say, too many other factors could impact this.

For a financially independent older woman (mid-30's and up) who still prefers to have a LTR with a male partner, between settling or learning to become content with being single for the rest of her life, which should she strive for?

I think there are still lots of guys who would go for an in-shape, nice, financially fit woman like this. Of course he isn't going to be a perfect dream. But who is.

tiposk · 2017-03-11T02:35:01+00:00

Is it ok that a purple pill woman leaning blue answers your questions? Anyways...

In your opinion, what is the main principle that separates RP/BP women?

RP women put a lot of emphasis on marriage as the ultimate goal for women. It also strives for a traditional gender dynamic in said marriage.

In terms of self-improvement, in what category should a late teens-early 20's woman be investing most heavily: physical fitness/appearance, hobbies, education, or career? Please discuss any limits or "to what extent" as well.

Self-improvement is about finding happiness. It's up to you to decide what's best. Before doing one of the two, you need to ask yourself if this is what you want as opposed to what you think is the ideal on paper. Personally, I prefer a mixture of all.

For women who do want a fulfilling relationship and have their own kids, what is the optimal dating strategy and who are the optimal mates? Who are the realistic mates?

The optimal strategy is to be emotionally healthy. Emotionally healthy people attract emotionally healthy partners. Compatibility is a must. It's not relevant if your partner (or you) is the ideal men on paper or not. There's not a single type of men that women should have.

Does it matter which sex initiates courtship? What should men contribute to dating/relationships? What should women contribute to dating/relationships?

No, as long as it works. Also, dynamics in a relationship are unique. People should contribute in a way that makes them compatible with each other.

Which relationship would work out best and, if different from the former, which relationship do you typically shoot for: RP(female)/RP(male), RP(female)/BP(male), BP(female)/RP(male), or BP(female)/BP(male)?

People with similar attitudes and ideals work the best, so BP/BP and RP/RP.

For a financially independent older woman (mid-30's and up) who still prefers to have a LTR with a male partner, between settling or learning to become content with being single for the rest of her life, which should she strive for?

What do you mean by settling? Accepting a guy that they don't really like? I'd suggest to work on finding someone they are attracted to. If the two scenarios are the only options, being alone is better.

Littleknownfacts · 2017-03-10T19:57:05+00:00

In your opinion, what is the main principle that separates RP/BP women?

I would say that the main difference between an RPW and BP woman is that a RPW strives to make her man happy, and finds fulfillment in that. A BP woman is one that seeks out her own happiness first and foremost.

In terms of self-improvement, in what category should a late teens-early 20's woman be investing most heavily: physical fitness/appearance, hobbies, education, or career? Please discuss any limits or "to what extent" as well (ie. "You just need to be slimmer than most women", "Learning to cook is a must", "Nothing beyond a bachelor's degree until you have the husband locked down", or "No limit. You shouldn't put your career on hold for anything, even for potential husband material.")

All of the above? 18-23 year old women are at the top of the food chain, they are already more attractive than most women, so they probably don't need to put in a whole lot of effort there, but obviously the more the better. Life enriching hobbies are also good, as is education, and the seedlings of a career. All of those things will help her snag a high value man that is also interested in relationships.

For women who do want a fulfilling relationship and have their own kids, what is the optimal dating strategy and who are the optimal mates? Who are the realistic mates?

The optimal mates are obviously attractive men who also want a relationship. And as long as you are a young woman with your shit at least somewhat together, it's a fairly realistic goal. But the older you get, the more sacrifices you must also make. The best strategy is to find a good man while you are at your peak and lock him down!

Does it matter which sex initiates courtship? What should men contribute to dating/relationships? What should women contribute to dating/relationships?

It's common RPW advice that a man should initiate courtship as it shows he is actively interested in you. A woman that initiates is at risk for being pumped and dumped since she is making it too convenient to him, and men are likely to fuck what's available.

Men should contribute masculine energy in the form of Alpha and Beta traits. Attractiveness, assertiveness, stability, and strength come to mind. Women should contribute feminine energy, sexiness, lightness/fun, and warmth.

Which relationship would work out best and, if different from the former, which relationship do you typically shoot for: RP(female)/RP(male), RP(female)/BP(male), BP(female)/RP(male), or BP(female)/BP(male)?

RPW and any man she is attracted to, may he be RP or BP or what ever in-between.

For a financially independent older woman (mid-30's and up) who still prefers to have a LTR with a male partner, between settling or learning to become content with being single for the rest of her life, which should she strive for?

Whichever she thinks will make her happier. You say she prefers to have a male partner, so I would say she should settle and 'learn to water her own grass'. But she could also live as a single and learn to water her own grass just as well.

sublimemongrel · 2017-03-10T21:42:16+00:00

In your opinion, what is the main principle that separates RP/BP women?

RPW are more likely to want a traditional marriage, more likely to sacrifice in order to achieve it, and more likely to want to submit/defer to the "right" man. They are also more likely to require traditional masculinity to stay attracted, IME. They believe in the appropriateness and desirability of gender roles more than the average BP woman.

In terms of self-improvement, in what category should a late teens-early 20's woman be investing most heavily: physical fitness/appearance, hobbies, education, or career? Please discuss any limits or "to what extent" as well (ie. "You just need to be slimmer than most women", "Learning to cook is a must", "Nothing beyond a bachelor's degree until you have the husband locked down", or "No limit. You shouldn't put your career on hold for anything, even for potential husband material.")

Career, unless she wants to be a homemaker, and there isn't anything wrong with that. Although honestly even if she wants this, she should still make a career/education somewhat of a priority because there's no guarantee she will have the life she dreams of and it's just common sense to have something to fall back on which can make you money.

Fitness/appearance should always be a priority, as in, don't focus on your career so much that you're literally sacrificing your health, but the priority should be more about health, IMO.

For women who do want a fulfilling relationship and have their own kids, what is the optimal dating strategy and who are the optimal mates? Who are the realistic mates?

Find LTR-minded, family-oriented men you are attracted to. Not all that difficult. Strategy-wise don't have sex with men you aren't sure are LTR-minded and family-oriented.

Does it matter which sex initiates courtship? What should men contribute to dating/relationships? What should women contribute to dating/relationships?

I don't think it really matters who initiates. As to "contributions" that's a pretty individualized question. Depends on the LTR you want and what sort of LTR your SO wants. Both parties should be contributing, but how is an individualized question.

Which relationship would work out best and, if different from the former, which relationship do you typically shoot for: RP(female)/RP(male), RP(female)/BP(male), BP(female)/RP(male), or BP(female)/BP(male)?

No idea. Maybe BP/BP because both are more likely to be on the same page when it comes to relationship style. RP men and RPW seem to have too much dissimilar set of wants, maybe MRP and RPW.

For a financially independent older woman (mid-30's and up) who still prefers to have a LTR with a male partner, between settling or learning to become content with being single for the rest of her life, which should she strive for?

I'd choose single, if by "settling" you mean on sexual attraction or love. If by "settling" you mean "not as accomplished/ambitious as I'd prefer" or something, I might settle.

damaskrose · 2017-03-11T02:57:52+00:00

In terms of self-improvement, in what category should a late teens-early 20's woman be investing most heavily

Regardless of age or gender, nothing should be more important than your physical and mental health. You shouldn't be sacrificing sleep/exercise in order to pull all-nighters for school/work. You shouldn't be starving yourself or over-exercising to obtain an ideal. You shouldn't be harming your mental health by staying in toxic relationships or toxic workplaces.

I think health (and overall 'wellness') is the foundation on which everything else in life is built. Everything else is down to individual priorities, and you can always change your direction later - but not if you're dead, chronically ill, or in the looney bin.

What should men contribute to dating/relationships? What should women contribute to dating/relationships?

This is all down to the individuals. My husband and I both earn incomes, we both do chores - we even have similar personalities (INTP). But I'm more optimistic and spontaneous. I inspire my husband to try new things, experiment, and take the occasional risk. He's more grounded. He reminds me keep my priorities straight, and not get too carried away with all my 'brilliant' ideas or neurotic worrying.

EliteSpartanRanger · 2017-03-10T20:13:58+00:00

redpill women are usually tradcon or more traditional, bluepill women tend to be more egalitarian
education and hobbies, education helps her get a job in the future, hobbies makes her a fun person to be. Education and hobbies makes herself someone she'd like to be whether or not she has a man and that's important.
optimal mates are probably xFNP people.
No it doesn't matter which sex initiates courtship. Both men and women should agree on what they want to bring to the relationship before they get serious. Something I see as nonnegotiable is love, trust, companionship and mutual support.
Probably BP female/BP male since their goals seem to align. RP females and RP males have somewhat antagonistic dating strategies, and RP and BP people have different views and values on relationships in general.
Personally I'd rather be single. But that's a choice each woman has to make for themselves. (Also why does she have to settle or be single? A lot of attractive women are successful in their career and in their 30s and can still attract guys they are attracted to.)

[deleted] · 2017-03-10T20:35:28+00:00

Red Pill is descriptive. TRP is prescriptive, pulling great deal from PUA and sales techniques. The closet prescriptive "red pill" site for women is Red Pill Wives, but it isn't red pill, it's women coping with being hitched to an Alpha male, or single women needing to paint a picture in which they are most desirable to men.

Blue Pill Women tend to be the winners in this regard, as the closet analog of "Red Pill" for women entails losing and being ok with losing. "Blue Pill Women" are unaware of the factors that undergird their desires (or they like to pretty them up). However, most are educated women who will marry well and get to execute a softer approximation of AF/BB, provided they are attractive. Beyond recognizing and accepting the value of their looks and cultivating this, most women needn't do more to succeed.

Women who want children by a certain period of time should avoid taking a lot of debt for a dubious career path that may take a while to materialize. This is unless her career will pay enough that the cost of childcare can be outsourced or she can afford the medical attention she may need to conceive later. However, to take on no education limits your prospects and prevents hypergamy just as much as over-achieving can. If there is no career or college exposure to better men, you are left with church, which tends to attract blue collar types and the lamest white collar types. Stay at home mothers who live in desirable areas and have nice lifestyles tend to have a good amount of education themselves and worked for at least a while.

Women should improve their appearance as much as is feasible in order to attract the types of men she wants. Blaming men for not giving her what she wants is a waste of time. How much men will give you and how much he loves you depends almost entirely on how attractive you are, particularly how attractive you are relative to what is available to him. It may be advisable to date down a little bit in order to get a man who treats you well, as men tend to overestimate their attractiveness a great deal and love is mostly contingent upon looks for them.

Single mothers who aren't young or very attractive are about as limited in their dating prospects as un/underemployed men. Unlike those men, this situation is not correctable. However, if she dates a man who is a little older or has kids of his own she may be able to get somebody who isn't garbage and is safe to have around the kids. She might not be attracted to this older man, but at least there is companionship and income coming in. She will need to accept that his time resources will be divided between her family and his first.

Men who are attracted to you will be the driving force at the inception of the relationship. It can be great to approach men yourself, this will allow you to punch a little above your weight because so few women do it. However, as a long term strategy, a man needs to given the opportunity to demonstrate the degree he wants you. If a man does not pursue without a touch of uncertainty on his end, it either means he is 1) under-confident, and will eventually become unattractive 2) is not that into you and will thus always have more power in the relationship, you will always be at a disadvantage

Relationships that work out best are those in which people communicate clearly and there is some degree of dread on both ends. Relationships only continue due to passion or "love" for a few limerent years, at best. Beyond that they are driven by mutual need or the unavailability of better options. Marriage for love is a western lie, marriage was always an economical arrangement. No lifetime monogamy outside of this economic need has ever been common.

A women in her mid 30s has generally missed round one of the marriageable guys. Successful men will agreeable personalties tend to marry in their late 20s or early 30s to women about 0-4 years younger. However, she may be able to get a decent man on round 2. She will just have to understand his time and resources will be slightly divided between her and his children (if he has them) or that she missed out on the resources that were lost during the dissolution of his marriage. If she is willing to date divorced men who are 40-45, she is actually one of the most desirable prospects available to men in this niche.

i_have_a_semicolon · 2017-03-11T18:21:55+00:00

The main principle difference between red pill and blue pill women is that red pill women recognize the importance of being submissive to a man, even if they happen to be dominant in all areas of their life. Blue pill woman can be very dominant in work, and that carries over into their home life. Red pill women believe that a man who is can be dominant is not only more satisfied, but also more sexually attractive. A red pill woman understands both the importance of her man being satisfied and happy, regardless of her standards of what should make him happy, and the importance of being sexually attracted to her man so she will freely and easily give him sex. A red pill woman doesn't buy into the narrative that women are the only victims of gender inequality and men's lives are comparatively "easier" than women's lives.

Lat teens and early twenties women need to focus on their character. Listening skills, being selfless, having control over their emotions. Growing up basically. Their appearance is also important but not as much as they should be in their physical prime already, but things like knowing how to style, how to eat healthy, not get fat, be active, and have good hygiene are important. Hobbies arent something that's really worth developing , that's what you do in your free time. I think education and career is important because if she can become financially independent of a man, then she can choose a man who doesn't make "as much" money as she would have needed if she was totally financially dependant on him, thereby allowing her to choose a man based more on his attractiveness and personality than his earnings or earning potential. Learning to cook is a must.

The women who want a fulfilling relationship - the best strategy is waste no time. Start looking as soon as you know. Don't give a guy a chance if you know it won't work out long term. Eschew casual sex in favor of closer relationships. If you're in a LTR and there's a deal breaker, get out sooner than later. High quality men get snatched up early. An optimal mate is a guy who can be a good relationship partner while also blowing her mind in bed.

It doesn't matter who initiated the courtship but we all know men are more likely to.

I don't know how to answer the which pair would work best. There's too much variance within the red pill and blue pill type people.

If she wants a partner there's a ton of divorcees men who left their shitty wives I'm sure she could have her pick from. Baggage is to be expected.

AutoModerator · 2017-03-10T19:23:33+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

neptune2marz · 2017-03-11T00:41:12+00:00

Question, why is marriage the question for Redpill women but not for Redpill men?

Title	Q4Women: In matters of approach to dating and relationships, what separates a Red Pill woman from a Blue Pill woman?
Author	DocNMarty
Upvotes	9
Comments	70
Date	March 10, 2017 7:23 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/5yo3pu/q4women_in_matters_of_approach_to_dating_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4women-in-matters-of-approach-to-dating-and.269564 https://theredarchive.com/post/269564

Comments