For those of us who, despite our genuine best efforts, are unable to get a GF...is it better is simply become complacent than adopt RP tactics?

CuddleLumpkin · 2016-02-23T10:00:59+00:00

False dichotomy. It's not either "adopt TRP or be complacent."

In all likelihood, you're probably not as ugly as you think. Go out and people watch for a little bit. There are some ugly ass MFs who are walking around with significant others.

You are making up other people's minds about you, and assuming their motivations for not being interested in you. So you have resigned to the notion that your looks are the only thing holding you back, have already decided that the solution to your problem is the novelty of TRP.

LordFishFinger · 2016-02-23T11:32:53+00:00

I am successful in many ways on paper; smart, funny, charismatic...

Says who?

[deleted] · 2016-02-23T19:04:46+00:00

[permanently deleted]

honeypuppy · 2016-02-23T09:19:03+00:00

You're probably not as physically unattractive as you think. Try /r/amiugly. There are tons of totally normal and even good looking people posting there who have convinced themselves that they're ugly when they're not at all. And even those who don't look so good often have very fixable problems.

blametheboogie · 2016-02-23T10:13:32+00:00

It seems to me that you're looking for excuses not to try.

So what if you don't think that you can get a 10, if you're a 5 with some game and a good, fun personality you can get with a nice 6ish woman and have some good times together.

eddiae · 2016-02-23T17:08:03+00:00

yeah girls are the agents of natural selection so you were deemed as genetic trash not worthy of reproducing, you can marry a post wall and hope she'll pity you enough by not cucking you and giving you legitimate children, divorce rape and decades of broke misery might be the price to pay though. good luck !

[deleted] · 2016-02-23T10:37:48+00:00

Depends just how ugly you are. If you legit look deformed then yeah, best to just go MGTOW, although even then I'd recommend still hitting on equally ugly girls when the opportunity presents itself.

However, if you're ugly because you have bad skin and you're overweight, those are the kind of things that can be fixed if you're willing to put work into it. I used to be fat and spotty as a teenager, now as an adult I'm skinny and my face is clear and I look sexy af tbh.

PoopInMyBottom · 2016-02-23T15:02:30+00:00

Do you watch porn?

If you watch porn, and you are complaining that you can't find a girlfriend, there's your problem. Porn adjusts your standards.

Do you actually ask women out? If you don't, there's your problem. You don't get anything in life by being passive as a man.

How often are you meeting women? Answer honestly. How many of those are you trying to flirt with? How many are you asking out? 90% of the time people who post posts like this aren't actually putting themselves out there.

Have you tried Internet dating? If not, stop complaining and create a profile. Right now. If you're successful, you should be able to afford a photographer to take some photos in a park. Write a customised message to everybody you have a high match percentage with who you think is attractive. If you don't get any replies, drop your standards.

ozymandias271 · 2016-02-23T15:46:34+00:00

Buy a copy of Dr. David Burns's The Feeling Good Handbook and work through it. You're depressed and you have cognitive distortions up the wazoo.

betterdeadthanbeta · 2016-02-23T09:43:59+00:00

You dont have to just bend over for chads/stacys bro. Why not pick your balls up off the floor, stop worrying about what is noble and start worrying about how you can get what you want at the expense of everyone else.

[deleted] · 2016-02-23T13:38:18+00:00

My advice is never give up, and never become complacent. How an individual man/woman puts that into practice it up to them.

KrispyMcSockington · 2016-02-23T15:42:23+00:00

Dear OP, your post tackles two issues. One is "What hope is there for men who aren't attractive but aren't sure about using RP tactics?" - You don't HAVE to be redpill to improve yourself. Redpill just emphasises self improvement to make dating and getting laid easier.

As for the second part which is about how you, personally are affected by this: Your first challenge is overcoming your lack of self belief. I, too, felt I was not attractive at all...especially as an awkward chubby teen. What helped was a healthy dose of IDGAF. You'd be surprised how much easier your life can be when you don't care what other people think and just do what you want to do.

I like to look at things pragmatically so if you want to attract women, the least you can do is exercise. It really helps. I don't mean you have to be a bodybuilder, but improving your shape does help. Improving your shape is only one part of your appearance. There are a ton of skin products to keep blemishes, zits and other unsightly marks...uh...out of sight. And don't forget your wardrobe. If you're wandering around outside in an old, coffee-stained death metal T-Shirt and look like a slob, you're not going to get anyone's attention.

Confidence: I cannot stress this enough. Believing that you're awesome is going to help a lot. Confidence helps in everything from introducing yourself to being confident enough to deliver a joke, to asking for a number. Once you're not afraid of people, having friends and a good social circle will go a long way. When you know there are people around you who like to have a good time, you will always have a good time. It doesn't always have to be bars and clubs, but consider the opposite: a socially awkward, quiet person who seems to be miserable is not going to be approachable.

If being confident, in shape, having a good attitude, having friends and a social circle is still not getting you anywhere near landing you a girlfriend, you only have one more option at your disposal and I ain't gonna sugar coat it:

Get plastic surgery. In South Korea and I believe Argentina it is quite acceptable for people to improve their outward appearance through surgery. If you feel you've done everything and it's STILL not working, then by all means, go for surgery.

But by everything, I mean working on your confidence, exercising, doing interesting stuff like playing a sport, or having an interesting hobby (playing video games does not count...and I am a gamer myself) and actually talking to people. But if after all that you're still struggling, go for the surgery. Save up some cash, do your research and hope that it works.

Before you do, it would probably be pertinent to ask yourself the following: How am I measuring my success in being funny, smart and charismatic? Am I attracting people? Am I maintaining friendships and part of a good social circle? Am I placing myself in positions where it is easy to establish a relationship? Is my desperation showing and putting women off?

You don't have to be a provider while Chads are scoring all the women. It is not impossible to improve your attitude and appearance (minus surgery) so that it is easier for you to get into relationships. Personally, I believe a good attitude (IDGAF), confidence, some exercise and good social skills will do the trick. If women still find you repulsive after that (and you have genuinely thrown everything you have at an attempt to get into a relationship) then consider surgery or joining the MGTOW movement.

TL;DR Exercise, dressing properly, confidence in social situations, good friends and an IDGAF attitude should make it far easier to land a GF. If all else fails, consider surgery or joining the MGTOW movement.

Interversity · 2016-02-23T07:37:27+00:00

I'm not attractive, so I will never find happiness

As if being attractive made people happy. Laughable notion.

[deleted] · 2016-02-23T08:16:33+00:00

Never make your standard of happiness about what others say or what others (appear to) have.

I'll be blunt, you are not going to have a relationship because destiny says so. But the women that ignore you don't have the right to whine about not finding a good man, or to come back when they get older and basically ask for a share of your life/ressources. Both will happen if you are really successful, so keep living. For yourself.

[deleted] · 2016-02-23T07:19:20+00:00

[permanently deleted]

[deleted] · 2016-02-23T08:37:21+00:00

No. Fuck no. Look man, it's just a game. Underdogs win all the time. Good looking people will always win on paper but it don't mean shit. You still got to play the game.

wtknight · 2016-02-23T13:29:14+00:00

It's better to improve yourself than to become complacent. There is no problem with the part of RP that advocates self-improvement. The problem is the part of RP that advocates misogyny, bio-truths, AWALT and captain/first mate.

[deleted] · 2016-02-23T14:25:13+00:00

If that's what you want, go for it, but don't lie to yourself.

[deleted] · 2016-02-23T14:30:29+00:00

Look the underlying question is what do you want to achieve. Do you want to have one night stands or a long term relationship, The truth is for one night stands "redpill tactics" work i know a few guys who use these tactics to there success.

Long term realtionships on the other hand i would be cautious using redpill tactics but i advice the awareness that the redpill provides(her more interested in you then vice versa, picking up cheating signs and making sure you understand the dynamics) is good. I advice you keep that information to yourself though.

FirionDarklight · 2016-02-23T15:26:23+00:00

Some people are going to hate you no matter what you do. The question is do you want to be hated while being miserable or do you want to be hated while doing and getting what you want?

Clint_Redwood · 2016-02-23T16:18:01+00:00

smart, funny, charismatic

If you truly were charismatic then you wouldn't have issues with girls. I've seen butt ass ugly dudes slay pussy and guys that look like Arnold Schwarzenegger fail miserably. They all have one thing in common, how well they can articulate themselves using emotion.

I and like most former incels had a horrible problem with this. We, and probably like you, spend a ton of time in your head, using logic. Women don't speak with logic, they speak with emotion. You remember the last conversation you had with a girl you connected with? You probably don't remember the specific context or words used, but I bet you remember how she made you feel. "She was so honest and open", "He was so charming and sweet", "He was such an asshole the whole time", "She was insanely vapid, i could barely stand her".

People remember how you make them feel, not what information you pass to them. Guys love analytically and intellectual talk, most girls eyes will glaze over, if you aren't projecting emotion.

The only difference from a charismatic person to a non-charismatic person is how well they can effectively project their emotions into whatever it is they are saying. Usually, when a guy or girl get to talking about something they are really passionate about this natural charisma comes to the surface as you are excited to share this passion with someone else. Thus, the incel can be charismatic, it just has to be the right context and discussion for him to do so.

TRP advocates to be a alpha male, the reality is, you are only alpha in certain situations. The college quarterback is the Alpha when he walks into his college bar or Frat house. He'd be completely lost though if he walked into a art gallery in the middle of NYC. Alpha is just context. TRP teaches you to understand your strengths and weaknesses so you can utilize them or strengthen them.

Oh, and i guess to answer your question, do looks matter? Fuck no, they only help.

Equilibriun · 2016-02-23T17:01:28+00:00

No. It's not noble. Because you are not ignorant of the fact that you can improve your life. If you posted this in TRP they would give you some tough love.

Like quit acting like a bitch. If you want something work for it. Dreaming only goes so far.

If you want help just ask. I think you are asking but are afraid of the backlash you would get from the normal world.

Don't wish for an easier load my man. Wish for broader shoulders.

[deleted] · 2016-02-23T17:25:59+00:00

Can you take a look at the people around you? I see so many guys who lack in the looks area and they still have girlfriend, and I doubt guys in their early to late 20s are beta bux for women. Your problem is that you are looking at the 10/10 women. Chads don't go for women who are less than an 8. If you are charismatic as you say you are, it is easy for you to get women in your league.

redmachines · 2016-02-23T17:41:50+00:00

Lol. Some people are a joke. If you have resources, then use it to leave whatever shithole country you live in and expand your horizons. No one told you have to give it to Chad/Stacie. Only pilltards will lead you down that path by making sex your one and only goal in life.

Transmigratory · 2016-02-23T19:02:41+00:00

Define RP tactics (I'll assume BP tactics are the direct opposite).

[deleted] · 2016-02-23T19:50:40+00:00

My issue is, I am successful in many ways on paper; smart, funny, charismatic...but we all know that is 0.001% of the attractiveness equation, the remaining percent which is made up by raw appearance.

As a male? That is simply not true.

[deleted] · 2016-02-23T22:09:59+00:00

They would prefer that you (And me) die out.

user5577 · 2016-02-24T02:50:37+00:00

I am successful in many ways on paper; smart, funny, charismatic

Show don't tell.

It's not enough to be smart, how are you smart? Do you work for NASA, are you earning 150K at a tech company? what do you do that makes you smart.

Are you constantly making people laugh, or just your close friends? do you walk into any room and the place lights up?

How are you charasmatic? Does your boss treat you like a son, do women fall in love with you after speaking to you for only a few minutes.

If you where actually Smart, Funny and Charismatic you would have no issue getting women.

Hans_Brickface · 2016-02-23T06:38:16+00:00

Even assuming you could never get a gf, that doesn't mean you can't live a happy life. There's more to life than pussy :P But if that's what you're looking for, find some escorts in your town. They don't work well for long-term relationships, but for moist, pink relief, they do pretty well :)

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energyvolley · 2016-02-23T08:34:20+00:00

deleted ^{^{^What}} ^{^{^is}} ^{^{^this?}}

[deleted] · 2016-02-23T11:59:59+00:00

Money buys attractiveness.

[deleted] · 2016-02-23T13:44:25+00:00

just lift brah...

ProbablyBelievesIt · 2016-02-23T07:22:16+00:00

Okay, so tell us what deformities you're working with? Because ugly men with your other qualities have managed to find the women who don't give a shit about looks before, and will continue to do so long after you've left this world.

Not that I'm accusing you of lying. But there's been a lot of exaggeration about a lack of looks on Reddit, to the point where it's almost as bad as all the men competing to be super Chad.

7deTreboles · 2016-02-24T23:38:42+00:00

You won't find happiness in a relationship if you can't find happiness without it. If you don't manage to be happy with your success, hobbies, passions you should start off working on that. Other than that, as many people from both pills are telling you here, this is not a celibate/trp choice

Title	For those of us who, despite our genuine best efforts, are unable to get a GF...is it better is simply become complacent than adopt RP tactics?
Author	Fullest_Potential_77
Upvotes	12
Comments	54
Date	February 23, 2016 6:26 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/475dnp/for_those_of_us_who_despite_our_genuine_best/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/for-those-of-us-who-despite-our-genuine-best.276065 https://theredarchive.com/post/276065

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