In what ways is the red pill LTR similar to or different from conventional Male/female, Dominant/submissive relationships?

M_rafay · 2015-02-25T21:47:52+00:00

Put simply, dominance in RP is not a fetish. Its not a kink. Its not roleplay. It doesn't go over the top. Dominance doesn't need to be chains and dirty talk. Dominance has very ugly meanings, when it really can just be a normal and healthy facet of your personality. A behaviour resembling a well-balanced leader in a suit rather than a guy in a latex suit.

The trouble with BDSM is its an overdone, and thus, poor imitation of the real thing.

MsLilith · 2015-02-25T21:39:43+00:00

Dom's are generally supposed to RESPECT their submissive, not manipulate them or use them.

adrixshadow · 2015-02-26T02:48:48+00:00

Any male-led relationship (where the man isn't forcing the woman) has to be a conscious decision on the woman's part, as it doesn't come naturally to the vast majority of women to be led by men. In that way, they're similar.

In the past, I've seen both women in D/s relationships and in red pill relationships capitalize the 'h' in husband, writing it like this: Husband. That's wrong grammar and is obviously a deliberate choice.

nomdplume · 2015-02-26T00:01:38+00:00

When I hear about red pill long term relationships, I get a vibe very similar to what I feel when I hear about D/s relationships.

I wouldn't say that my marriage reflects an overt D/s sort of relationship. I don't think anyone from the outside would ever even see that dynamic between us (in the bedroom, maybe, but that's it).

I don't know what necessarily defines a "conventional" relationship, but I know that the Red Pill is much more apparent in the emotional dynamic of our relationship than in the structural dynamic (some of the structural is influenced by the emotional, of course, but, again, not enough to be obvious to an outsider).

As far as "who holds the power"? It depends on who has earned the power, or who feels like granting the power. That's it. There is no predetermined structure for that.

buartha · 2015-02-26T05:04:14+00:00

I'm in a D/s relationship, and the division of labour/power isn't dissimilar to that of a 'traditional' power dynamic (or at least it wouldn't be if we weren't both men, haha,) so I can see the connection (though my partner and I are also fairly heavily into S&M so there's an obvious divide there.)

As for the reaction people get to saying they're in a RP relationship, I think a lot of it lies more with the associations reddit has with TRP. Saying 'I have a traditional marriage' will garner less vitriol than 'I have a RP marriage,' just because 'RP marriages' will inevitably be associated with the things that are said about women on the main sub.

alphabetmod · 2015-02-26T00:36:30+00:00

My personal anecdote: I'm in what I would describe as a pretty redpill relationship. She likes me to "lead" the relationship, and likes to be (mildly) dominated in bed. This has been true across all but one of the relationships I've ever had. And the one where this wasn't the case, it lasted a few months before she cheated on me. Maybe they all wouldn't say it, but the relationships ran much smoother with the "redpill" dynamic in place.

So in my personal experience, while the two things might not be similar to everyone on TRP, and obviously they aren't to the people on the BDSM subreddit, they always have been for me. But like I said, the D/S has usually been very mild. Spanking, hair pulling, maybe getting tied up but nothing that's ever needed a safe word. IME all women like some form of the man taking control in bed.

17b29a · 2015-02-25T21:26:51+00:00

http://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMcommunity/comments/23ow82/what_are_your_thoughts_on_the_red_pill/

Bakerofpie · 2015-02-25T21:37:41+00:00

D/s relationships involve a sexual fetish. A RP relationship doesn't require any sort of kink. My great grandparents were not in a D/s relationship. The Biblical standard for marriage is not a D/s situation. They're just male-led relationships. Deferring to your SO does not make you a submissive in a BDSM sense. I do think it's pretty fucking dumb that D/s relationships are seen as perfectly acceptable to the "open minded," but a RP marriage isn't. In a 24/7 D/s relationship there are many aspects of control exerted over the sub, and depending on the parties involved can involve being beaten, public humiliation, and general demoralization of the sub. A RP husband isn't going to go out of his way to torture his wife. If that were the case it would be a D/s situation. Simple deference to a worthy leader is not a kink or sexual fetish.

blackhawks93 · 2015-02-26T03:11:49+00:00

TRP is aimed at Beta guys who are just unplugged. A common theme in our culture is that men who were raised by single moms (see nice guys) don't know how to have an "active voice" in a relationship without being submissive all the time. Most of the time, it won't be a problem, but over time and definitely after marriage, if you don't grow a pair of balls and respect yourself then your wife will not respect you the same as someone who is dominant when the relationship needs a dominant figure.

Most guys, like myself, were bred to be recessive all the time because that is what women claim they want. In reality, its not good for men and TRP aims to fix that. Do they go to far? Yes, that is why we need more moderates in the TRP community.

wazzup987 · 2015-02-26T05:27:11+00:00

It is a D/s relationship. closer to the gorian ideal M/s than really anything having to do with BDSM.

I know soem women and one guy who have come out of 24/7 D/s relationships from the sub side. It wrecks you. even assuming there is no abuse it wrecks you. You go from a state of extreme hypoagency to a state of having to be a full interdependent agent agent again. It fucks you up. Most of the people who i know who have done that style relationship flip to being dom/me or at least a switch. And they never want to go back in to that type of dynamic again, or do so as a dom/me.

From the dom side they often feel relief in abdicating responsibility of there sub but flounder after the break up due to becoming dependent on there sub/slave's service.

RP tend to frown at the BDSM part but takes the D/s part.

Also the reason why trp is accepted is because TRP is at best manipulative at worst abusive in LTR's. D/s relationships require honesty and trust. TRP advocates dread game, and they may not have gotten in to the relationship in an honest manner.

Title	In what ways is the red pill LTR similar to or different from conventional Male/female, Dominant/submissive relationships?
Author	saltinado
Upvotes	7
Comments	61
Date	February 25, 2015 9:21 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/2x5nbg/in_what_ways_is_the_red_pill_ltr_similar_to_or/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/in-what-ways-is-the-red-pill-ltr-similar-to-or.283312 https://theredarchive.com/post/283312

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