What do you guys think of the "fake gamer girl" trope?

RobotPartsCorp · 2014-03-24T20:56:02+00:00

It just sounds like something that only happens to highschoolers. Do adults act this way? I mean, I was super nerdy in high school and was not in any way popular or pretty and I was into very nerdy things...but I also was a late bloomer and got "hot" in my mid-20's, and dudes would be like "wow you like [example of nerdy thing]?" and it boggles my mind that people can't get over the fact that people who just happen to not be unattractive could actually enjoy activities and shows and stuff that many people consider nerdy.

I think that many guys who were nerdy assume that women did not go through the same things they did. Yes, girls can be nerdy and socially awkward and have been made fun of in school as well, it makes no sense to pretend that doesn't exist. To assume a women is just getting attention because she likes whatever nerdy thing is...odd. I mean, attention, really? Maybe, it isn't far-fetched but it just seems a bit silly to go through life ready to unmask the attention-wanting fake-nerd girl! When people are interesting in something I am interested in, I think its great, I want to talk to them about it, share things, not get all bent out of shape because they might steal all the attentions. It is a strange concept I just don't see happen in real life in the late-20s and up set though, so that's good.

MissPearl · 2014-03-24T21:36:26+00:00

the only "gamer" girls I know who genuinely love gaming aren't hot and feminine.

I have a giant bow in my hair and seem to be considered to be attractive. I am also practically vibrating from excitement that I get to go play D&D (4th ed) in another two hours.

they've played a lot of Candy Crush or Sims

I'm sure it's nice to feel like the arbitrator of all that is nerdy and not nerdy, even though you also took the time to define yourself as feminine and according to you not a member of the group as well. But okay, what about Minecraft? Civilization (any edition)? Or ones that were fairly popular with women like the Dragon Age or Mass Effect franchise? Where precisely does a game on a computer stop being nerdy?

I think your basic argument boils down to the fact that you don't think nerds, male or female, can be hot. That and you're feeling intimidated by other women being able to navigate mostly male social groups better than you can so it's better to think that it's an elaborate artifice for male attention.

so irritating that behaving in a delicate, feminine way didn't always earn me the attention of men.

Irritating as in with them for being more attractive? Or for men for expressing a preference? Isn't this none of your business, in so far as it's unreasonable to demand someone be attracted to you?

all my feminine behaviors that I've worked pretty hard to cultivate are useless

Well, according to your results, if you want to attract men into women you define as more masculine presenting, yes it was. But what is a feminine behaviour according to you?

SpaceWhiskey · 2014-03-24T22:49:59+00:00

Hmm, well, I have mixed opinions about this. On the one hand, when I was young, I was awkward and unpopular and I played video games and read comics. My freshman year of college, there was a very pretty girl in a class I was in who got a Batman tattoo, and when I asked her about it she told me that she hadn't read the comics or seen the cartoon and has only seen the most recent movie, which at the time was the one with Heath Ledger in it. And I'll admit, it pissed me off. So I get it. I never thought kindly of her. I thought she was a poser.

But then time went on, and a few years later I realized that I stopped caring about what other people liked or didn't like. And that girl went on to get super into comics. And I went on to lose a bunch of weight and learn how to dress, and suddenly found myself being accused of being a Fake Nerd Girl. I'd been going to conventions for years, but as soon as I became attractive I found myself defending my cred.

People who lie about their interests are in for a bad time. If a girl tells the guy she wants to date that she loves football or Halo or train simulators and doesn't, she's setting herself up for disaster. Those lessons usually only need to be learned once. That being said, I'm generally against the concept of a Fake Nerd Girl, because I find it elitist. No one should get to be the Fun Police and tell other people whether or not they qualify to be a True Fan. People have the right to enjoy things on the level they do and the right to be any level of attractive while doing it, which is also completely unrelated. Also, I've hosted LAN parties, I've participated in Magic tournaments, and I livestream but I also play the shit out of the Sims. And the only reason I don't play Candy Crush is because I played enough Bejeweled ten years ago to last a lifetime and I'm still good on that one.

I do have a question:

luckily I have a boyfriend who appreciates them, but I've even seen him complimenting female friends for being "like one of the guys" and it drives me nuts!

Why? I'm genuinely curious, why does it bother you that women might be into "guy" things, like whiskey (it did catch my eye haha) or wearing pants? You're now with a guy who appreciates your traditionally feminine traits, which is obviously important to you, but why is it a problem that other guys out there aren't into that?

Damned_Hedonist · 2014-03-24T21:18:35+00:00

there are gamers who are girls and there are the internet famous girls who make money off people willing to watch them play and use gamer lingo. the former are average players, the latter are some sort of gamer fetish. they may also be gamers, but once you start marketing it with over the top sexualization you're fetishizing it imo.

personally i don't mind them, i just don't like people telling me i'm not a real gamer cause some other chick stuck her tits out for a webcam raid to pay for college. some of them aren't bad either so i don't know how it got started that female gamers all suck.

SirNemesis · 2014-03-24T22:55:40+00:00

Due to their general lack of attractiveness, geeks are a great target for attention-whores. However, many geeks have self-respect, and hence why they self-police the geek community to keep out attention-whores.

mudra311 · 2014-03-25T00:20:49+00:00

It'll slowly happen, like weight lifting.

Now, you don't bat an eyelash if you see a woman doing bench press, squats, etc. Exercises that are supposedly manly. Now we know that both sexes benefit from these movements.

It'll take another 5 years or so, but when you start seeing more women in professional gaming - you'll know it's changed.

You also have to think about the lifestyle choices one has to make to be a professional gamer. At least half their day is devoted to gaming, barring any scrimmages or tournaments. The rest is other interests, eating, and sleeping. While I think there are plenty of women capable of being a professional gamer, I honestly think many don't want to. They don't want to devote such a huge time commitment to playing a video game.

Obviously, there are exceptions, but I think this is why it'll be a while before women creep into professional gaming.

[deleted] · 2014-03-25T01:18:28+00:00

I guess you could argue these girls could have been awkward in their youth and then blossomed.

Yeah, that was me. I was(am) super shy, socially awkward, and depressed. And I used to be overweight with braces and glasses, before I grew into the fairly conventionally attractive swan I am today. I am nerdy, but I have more feminine nerd interests(mainly books). I took up Minecraft and EVE because my boyfriend really wanted me to, so I literally started gaming for male attention, yes. But I never claim to be a "true gamer"(what ever that means) and if anyone were to ask I wouldn't lie about my motivations. Although at this point I do find them entertaining, I'm just not hardcore into them.

Edit: Additional point: my boyfriend is a hardcore gamer and used to play for hours a day when he had less work, but he's a hottie. I mean, of course I think that, but objectively he is good looking. And showers and cares for himself and his appearance. Why can't gamers be put together and attractive? He was also way more popular in high school than me, had a bunch of friends and girlfriends. He just likes to game, the two aren't related.

[deleted] · 2014-03-25T01:55:29+00:00

I'm sure you could find a 'fake' if you looked hard enough, but I never really understood why people cared so much about it and feel compelled to voraciously 'defend' their hobby from them. I know people with all sorts of interest of varying levels in all sorts of things. I don't worry about whether or not someone is fake when I encounter them, but only if it's worth spending time or energy on them in some way.

Someone claims to like Star Wars but doesn't know as much as me? Fine, we can talk on their level or I can move on if I want to talk to someone who knows more than that person. Them being 'fake' has no affect on me.

IIHotelYorba · 2014-03-25T05:10:27+00:00

I have a lot of different thoughts about this.

First, in my experience it's less common that a girl is as deeply immersed into practically anything as guys tend to be, regardless of how genuinely they like it. IMO this often comes off as being fake. A girl might love sailing, but rarely will you find one who will build her own boat. Her interest isn't fake, she just doesn't tend to participate as deeply.

Second, I don't think genuine interest and exploitation are anywhere close to mutually exclusive. Most of the girls on youtube publishing the most vapid, manipulative, titty shaking "nerd girl" videos often are surrounded by houses full of nerd/video game merchandise. I doubt their level of commitment to putting on an act is that high.

Third, nerd culture is "dead," meaning nerd culture is now mainstream culture. Young girls want to see the Avengers because it's the big movie of the season ...with everybody. The mainstream is a gigantic sea of people who have mild, cursory interest in a lot of things. Seeing these people invade the arenas of nerd culture is to my mind just them being curious and friendly. They are the people you talk about the weather with in the checkout line. They aren't bad, or being "fake."

Finally, girls do everything "for attention." Male interests tend to be achievement based. Female interests tend to be socially based. Explain to me how you can do anything socially without attention.

rulenumber303 · 2014-03-24T22:05:40+00:00

Chess is my game, and I've dropped the last of the flashy computer centric games I played. I'm not hugely good at it, in fact I'm as good as a moderately talented twelve year old, but I'm better than most people who took one look at it in school, shuddered at the hardness and walked away. I do not care whether I am defined as a gamer girl, fake or not. Whiney little keyboard monkeys of any gender who play games to "destress" from the hardness of an ordinary life plugging in computers and running small servers, but like their tactics and strategy all slopped up with graphics, story lines and the ability to just buy or ploddingly farm advantages have no business attempting to one-up each other over who is real and who is fake. You're all fake. The games are fake. They deliberately make you waste as much time and money as possible by slowing you down in realising what your actual level of tactical and strategic ability is, and hiding how much effort genuine improvement will take.

Also if someone is manipulating you, be it a games company or a pretty girl, because you've stuck a huge comfy easy to hold handle on top of your head, maybe the change you need is in you not them.

Go to a chess club or chess.com , if you want to get real.

[deleted] · 2014-03-25T01:09:19+00:00

I recognize that there are fake gamer girls, but I think the suspicion every girl has to go through is bad for both real gamer girls and the industry. Same goes comics and various other "geek" hobbies. Making them into inclusive clubs is what inspires the fakes to come in and also causes people within the industry to get all pretentious in trying to prove itself. Playing games should be something you do or don't do, not a special status.

That said, if you think Anita Sarkeesian is important to the gaming industry but don't know who Roberta Williams or Amy Hennig is, then you can go fuck yourself.

fiat_lux_ · 2014-03-25T03:12:40+00:00

I had no idea this was a thing. Girls falsely masculinizing themselves to get with men? Is this really a thing?

I'm also feeling worried now because someone I know intro'd me to Minecraft a few months ago and I have since then spent so many hours playing it that I'm loathe to admit it to even my closest friends (who would definitely think it was odd as hell). Are you saying I could be using this Minecraft obsession to attract men? Because I'm always kind of embarrassed talking about it with the dude who intro'd me to it, and now I'm wondering if I should be flaunting my skillz far and wide. Weirdlemonade81 - she slices up zombies with the greatest of ease! She builds big houses with tasteful oak flooring with immense speed! Creepers fear her!

Btw if anyone wants to play Minecraft with me PM me because nobody I know, literally nobody, will do anything other than laugh when I ask. :/

shitlordlucy · 2014-03-25T15:16:22+00:00

I personally have found the "fake gamer girl" trope to be incredibly annoying. I don't play video games much, but I do love old science fiction (Star Trek TOS, Isaac Asimov's robot stories, Have Spacesuit--Will Travel), and I'm also very feminine. I own more dresses and skirts than I do pants, my friends think my makeup collection is hilarious, and in my dorm room I have a rice cooker, a blender, a George Foreman grill, and two CrockPots, one of which I picked out because it matched my bedspread.

As a result of this trope, though, I've found that a lot of people are only able to accept one of these traits at a time. When I was an executive on my high school's robotics team, the amount of respect I received was actually inversely proportional to the girliness of my outfit on any given work day. Regardless of my "appropriately nerdy" hobbies, my sense of humor, or my qualifications, the nerds and geeks around me were put off by my girly tendencies and acted as though they made me less able to be one of the team.

However, I will say that I received that sort of treatment from both the guys and the girls around me, and I actually think the girls were worse sometimes. The guys could be patronizing and condescending at times, but when I look back on it, I think that the girls resented me because they assumed that my skirt-wearing, polka dot-loving self was one of the fake geek girls who gave them all such a bad name.

swift-heart · 2014-03-25T19:55:19+00:00

i have worked in the game industry for a few years and spent a decent amount of time at arcades as a teen. i still don't consider myself a dork, nerd, or 'gamer girl' because i have almost nothing in common with that subculture otherwise.

to answer your question about why physically attractive girls would be drawn to gaming...they may be dealing with family problems they can't control, mental health issues, etc and still feel a need for escapism. they may have friends but feel that those friendships are shallow and unsatisfying. they may be ignored by boys in high school because boys find them intimidating/unapproachable. and yes, teenage awkwardness is not limited to ugly teenagers.

but being one of the guys is overrated tbh. your boyfriend may compliment the masculine gamer girls but it's unlikely that he'd be happy in a relationship with one.

Hoogstens · 2014-03-25T20:07:03+00:00

I don't think it's just attractive "gamer girls", but both genders want to rebrand themselves as a person with nerdy qualities. Intelligence is fashionable.

The obvious truth is that nerds are social outcasts, of which a (small) sub-group has high spatial and verbal intelligence, and therefore nerdy has become a desirable label. This involved removing somewhat embarrassing parts, like being socially maladjusted and awkward and the inability to make friends. It has simply been delegated to 'neckbeard'.

[deleted] · 2014-03-25T21:05:29+00:00

I read a comment a while back that explained it.

Basically, if your hobby was social suicide and you suffered for your games and suddenly the people who rejected you for it (girls) suddenly think it's cool you're going to be pissed and see it as encroachment.

I personally see it as anger. Men are angry at being rejected, so they lash out at someone that is representative of the people that rejected them. You can see it in a lot of places. SJW's hate on men because of he actions of a few, etc.

As for the trope itself... As a man who loves him some gaming, I can say that a lot of girls simply don't share the passion, especially the more socially successful ones. Even today it has unattractive associations.

OmegaChick · 2014-03-25T21:37:16+00:00

I remember video games before they were defined as a whole lifestyle craze, so while I did play a lot of video games as a kid, I do not see it as a defining characteristic of my personality. While I still play I do tend to associate video games as originally "a kids' thing." vs an adult thing. Then I grew up and realized i could still keep playing. Awesome.
But what the fuck was I playing when they decided guys were the gaming gender? I have no idea, and its a rather large surprise to me that gaming is now considered unfeminine. Childish? Ok I'll accept that. But it seems like a lot of the "guyness" associated with gaming is just a bunch things made up to agitate.

Though I think inside the gaming industry might be a different experience, I don't have the experience to comment on it.

alphabetmod · 2014-03-25T22:24:04+00:00

it was so irritating that behaving in a delicate, feminine way didn't always earn me the attention of men. I was passed up several times in my single years for loud, pants-wearing, beer-chugging girls who essentially assaulted guys to get attention.

I'm not gonna say you're lying, it's just that I have such a hard time imagining this... but that's probably because "feminine" is the #1 most attractive trait to me by far. Or at least my idea of feminine. The whole "one of the guys thing" just does nothing for me. I know it's bandied about as a stereotype of the RP guys that they want a 50's housewife, but the ideal version of that is what appeals to me. Maybe a 70's housewife anyway. Quiet and kind sounds about right.

MagicGainbow · 2014-03-26T13:35:57+00:00

I think 90% of the time it's bullshit, I remember a time when liking video games r anything nerdy was one of the least attractive things around, now all of a sudden girls want it all and complain that video-gaming is not tailored to them.

It's like those girls who are one of the guys or who don't get along with other girls, either they are; A. Fully cognizant of what they are doing and the whole thing is a ploy for the massive amounts of validation and attention they can easily get,. B. Somewhat cognizant in the case of those girls that can't compete socially with other girls, they can't hack it in their pond so they move to one where they are the big fish(they may or may not acknowledge this.) C. The rare 10% that is actually in it for the games, generally socially awkward, unattractive and low self-esteem.

StabbyPants · 2014-03-27T02:07:24+00:00

I happen to know hot girls who play games (to the point of raiding in WOW) because that's what they like. That's awesome.

If I found some girl who was using it as a vehicle for attention, I'd ignore her - got plenty more things to do than waste time on that.

AptCasaNova · 2014-03-28T17:07:47+00:00

Many people, male and female, are guilty of pretending to be into a genre or an interest they really aren't if they want attention - usually it's romantic attention, sometimes it's "I want to fit in" attention.

Personally, I can't stand elitism of any kind. I once had a guy tell me one of the guys he works with "wasn't a real gamer". I asked what this meant. He said, "Tony hasn't logged into his GamerGuy account for a MONTH, so I removed him".

I kind of found this snobby, but I was curious. I asked, "so is there any specific number of hours or days one has to 'game' to be a 'real gamer' "?

He said, no, but that it should be "THE thing you do.. like, your top interest".

He considers himself a Real Gamer, you see.

So that's what I think of that. If you enjoy what you're doing, why do you care what others are up to?

shitlordlucy · 2014-03-24T22:26:20+00:00

I get why it's annoying. Whenever you're part of a smaller culture it's natural to dislike those you perceive just trying to get attention. I've met a couple chicks that always posted on facebook about how they were "such nerdz..." and were constantly surrounded by guys who were only interested in them because they were girls who play videogames. Disliking those kinds of girls is similar to disliking bandwagoners on sports teams or hating a band's followers after it gets popular.

But that mentality is stupid. I'm not defined by being a gamer just like I'm not defined by my music or sports teams. I don't care what other people define themselves as and I don't care what other people's gender are. That probably puts me in a minority in this sub but I judge people based on their personality and not on their hobbies.

I think one unfortunate side effect of this "gamer gurlz" trope is that plenty of normal women who play games now have that stigma.

Title	What do you guys think of the "fake gamer girl" trope?
Author	shitlordlucy
Upvotes	4
Comments	66
Date	March 24, 2014 8:33 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/219e52/what_do_you_guys_think_of_the_fake_gamer_girl/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-do-you-guys-think-of-the-fake-gamer-girl.286041 https://theredarchive.com/post/286041

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