A piece of wisdom from my father that I ignored is 'never become roommates with your best friends'. In a lot of ways it seems intuitive and ideal to share a living space with your closest mates and I'm sure plenty of people here have success stories of that exact situation. But what I found in practice is that the qualities that make for good roommates don't always coincide with the qualities that make for good friendships. In fact, I found on multiple occasions that there was no surer way to ruin my close friendships than to room with them.

Does a similar dynamic exist for marriage? Are the qualities of an ideal spouse very different from those of a best friend (or 'platonic soulmate') or do they overlap exactly?

I hear a lot of common sense advice in the public sphere that claims that your spouse should be your best friend, but does it actually make sense? Isn't a marriage a totally different kind of relationship that requires qualities distinct from a best friendship?

Obviously every marriage and friendship is different, but I want a wide spectrum of opinions and experiences to discuss. Of those of you who are married, do you consider your partner your best friend? Do you have a best friend outside your marriage? Was there an opposite sex best friend in your past, prior to your current partner, with whom you considered marriage?

Please discuss