Friends don't like growth?

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November 22, 2019
149 upvotes

Probably not the place for this but you guys have helped me before with random shit. I think this could apply in whatever goals you're pursuing.

I've been making music for a while now. Started when I was 15. Back then I would make something with my friends, and show it to others and they'll be like "damn bro that's good hahah you should make more".

Which was cool but now 4 years later, I worked diligently on my craft and I make exponentially better music. Now when I show it to "friends" they have this weird attitude. It's like they know it's good but they don't want to tell me type of mentality.

I felt the same thing when I started lifting. When I had started they'd be like oh shit nice bro you've been hitting the gym?. But now 2 years later, they'd see me at a party and tell the girls I take steroids because "no one can get that big naturally"

Has anyone come across this, for a lack of a better term, hater mentality? It's like they want you to grow until they realise that you'll grow more than them. It's weird to me because when I see someone working hard towards their passion, even if it's a stranger, I feel great for them. I go out of my way to show my appreciation and encourage them.

Any discussion appreciated


Post Information
Title Friends don't like growth?
Author amphix339
Upvotes 149
Comments 72
Date 22 November 2019 11:28 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/296234
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/dzzqdr/friends_dont_like_growth/
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Comments

[–]NewZealandSed191 points192 points  (6 children) | Copy

Crabs in a bucket mentality. From their perspective, you're not really a friend. You're competition. And from that standpoint, they're losing. You make them feel insecure.

Get better friends.

[–]amphix339[S] 56 points57 points  (4 children) | Copy

Fr bro hate it has to be like that honestly

[–]NewZealandSed22 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy

Me too. Looking back on it, it's always been that way. Even as a young kid.

Gotta accept reality as it is and use it to your advantage.

[–]ticklethegooch113 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

I wish I had a friend like you. I moved to a new city and left my friend, who was similar to you in my old town. Most of the men in the new city are lefties and in competition mode. I don't want to compete, I just wanna thrive and help my buddy to accomplish his goals. I am not trained like you or skilled, but I did my minor improvements over the days, weeks, months and years, my mindset is there 24/7.

[–]failed_singingcareer7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

There's 7 billion people on the planet.

Find better friends. Don't be a chump.

[–]mickenrorty3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Once you branch out your friends base and you realise you can be accepted and appreciated as a healthier stronger more successful version of you... i guarantee that you will no longer hate this minor negative aspect to tribal mentality.

I’ve been down that road 110%, it’s not easy to step out into the unknown, but once that first leap of faith is made you realise not only that the risk was lower than you thought but the reward was greater than you thought.

Follow the positive TRP road and both you and society benefit in an order of magnitude

[–]Nastynatee2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly

[–]AnneStaz50 points51 points  (7 children) | Copy

DJ Roid over here!!!!!

jk dude, yeah it sucks. I honestly just wouldn't talk about your progress to most friends unless they ask, or if they are the kind of supportive friend that helps you with growth. I have very few buddies who want to hear about how well I am doing because they are still in the same garage in their parents backyard smoking weed doing nothing.

Gets sad, but instead when you are with these friends just live in the moment. Make good times right there, not about the future or your goals

[–]amphix339[S] 23 points24 points  (5 children) | Copy

People think you working on yourself is a threat to them. As if I'm competition and my progression hinders theirs. Just really sad, like you put it. You think your friends want to see you prosper, just "not too much"

[–]AnneStaz6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy

Yeah but at the same time who cares, you don't need an attaboy. You are going to improve yourself regardless if your friends are supportive or not, right? More than likely you've already been doing that with or without praise to it dont matta

[–]amphix339[S] 8 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy

Yeah I've never looked for validation but these are people I've been close with and shared my dreams with. I just always thought they'd want to see me getting closer to it that's all

[–]AnneStaz12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

I feel you man, you'd think your buddies would be proud but eh. We're independent strong black women who don't need no man

[–]theyearsstartcomin4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Understand most people that are your friends are mostly so out of convenience. Few and far between are people that will go out of their way to be a true friend.

You dont need to necessarily cut them out, although thats my personal choice since that shits just exhausting for me personally, just realize what the reality is when youre out with them. Same as when youre out with some thot. Yes, shes a thot, but thots can be fun in their own right as long as you dont think shes anything other than what she is

[–]Nastynatee2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm sure most deep down do want that for u but after the initial change in lifestyle yes, people start to feel insecure about themselves that's why they dont wanna hear it or bust your balls in an attempt to diminish that they're bags of shit lol

[–]RaidenDark3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

OP is clearly taking music theory steroids, no way he'd could make music that good without doping

[–]Endorsed ContributorUEMcGill35 points36 points  (0 children) | Copy

There's a series of books out called Rich Dad Poor Dad, where he touches on this. It's also an often quoted bible verse, When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. In the end, it's a timeless problem.

It has to do with the fact that you have achieved a higher level of understanding. You know what it means to put in the work, the effort and the time to get to that new level. People aren't haters, per se. They just can't understand what it takes to gain success. They want to believe that you had some leg up, or cheated, or it was 'genetics', when 90% of it was just plain hard work.

As you get successful in an endeavor, be it the gym, with the ladies, business, etc. you need to surround yourself with people who are also successful in the same way. They speak the same language as you.

[–]thrwy7547926 points27 points  (6 children) | Copy

"You can't be friends with someone who wants your life." - Oprah Winfrey

[–]thestructuralguy21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy

Those people are no friends. Redpill handbook mentions that once you start on the path of self development the beta guys will test you more than women. Ignore and keep moving forward. Fuck those people.

[–]CuntMonteCristo17 points18 points  (3 children) | Copy

Yes I have seen this a lot. Think about this. People hate it when they are confronted with a reality that shows them that not only change and improvement is possible but that they themselves can actually do it too, since someone just like them did it and is doing it, and they don't do it because they are lazy and don't want to put in the work.

I always tried to help people and show them that they can change and grow and do what I did too, but 99% of people hated me for that. They get into cognitive dissonance and the whole reality denial starts "That works for you but not for me", "I just don't have the time", "I will start next year" etc.

Nowadays I try to find the 1% that really wants it. I try to find the young Arnold Schwarzenegger out there..

[–]Enlightened_Chimp9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

99% of people just want to eat cheetohs, binge drink, watch netflix and jack off all weekend. It's a way easier life.

[–]Hungboy69694209 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Most people have no life outside of work, sad isn't it ?

[–]CuntMonteCristo1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes very true, they all live on the animalistic principle of minimal effort

[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah. Those are shitty, loser friends who resent you for leaving them behind.

The solution is to get new friends.

When my business started taking off, I noticed that a couple of friends acted weird. Instead of broing me up over my success, they'd start talking about how they hated their jobs and shit was unfair. I dropped them and never looked back.

[–]kclanton8018 points19 points  (13 children) | Copy

Friends will NEVER want to see you successful...it's a sad truth. They want you to do well, but not better than them. It's why I don't have many friends at this loint. Actually none. Stay in your grind, and fuck your friends.

[–]amphix339[S] 22 points23 points  (4 children) | Copy

Facts but you need friends too, we're social being at the end of the day

[–]WinterRice21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'll deviate from others, can't believe there's three straight comments telling you to have no friends. Die alone with no one to trust if you wish, that's not the point of TRP.

I have a solid group of 4-5 guy friends and a few of them don't like to hear about other people's successes like you're experiencing.

But if these are your boys, and they're there for you in other situations, who gives a fuck? People are envious at their core. You go on LinkedIn and see some self-help guru raking in millions, fuck that guy right? That's human nature. I have a few friends who are genuinely happy to see me succeed because they're doing well too. The ones who get jaded I don't talk to about my life. I play ball with them or go out with them or whatever. If they ask me about the gym or how work is "it's all good." In the future as I make more acquaintances at my level, and it's a pain to hang out with these negative guys, I have no problem shifting my friendship around.

Don't drop your all your friends, don't go balls to the wall sociopathic and manipulate other people to "rinse and repeat" friendships. Do that in business, it's effective there, not with people you let in your personal life.

It's a true pillar of self-growth to have a solid group around you. If they're quality, they'll see you doing well and try to improve so that everybody's doing well. Keep expanding your social circle and find who you connect with, don't just cut everyone off and expect it to work out for you immediately. If you're in an environment where every single guy friend is pissed off you're succeeding, keep expanding and cut off those who are negative in your life. That's going to happen naturally as you get older and put your happiness first.

[–]arcanepolar1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

get new friends that are better than you, then work to become better than them. if they show you the same attitude, rinse and repeat. surrounding yourself with people better than you helps you elevate

[–]kclanton801 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don't agree with that. You need human interaction. You don't need friends. What is a friend after all?

Most friends never fulfill what you want or expect them to be anyway, as your experiencing right now.

[–]throaway21231234 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy

Not true man.

[–]kclanton800 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

I can only speak on my experience...and the experience that many other wise men have reported.

Robert green. 48 laws if power Law 2

Be wary of friends they will betray you more quickly, for they are easily aroused to envy. They also become spoiled and aroused to envy. They also become spoiled and tyrannical. But hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal than a friend, because he has more to prove. In fact, you have more to fear from friends than from enemies. If you have no enemies, find a way to make them.

[–]throaway21231231 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

idk what you are talking about tbh, I trust around 2 people, and I know I won’t get fucked by them. Why? Because they’re my real friends , and they have proved that 1000 times.

If your friend doesn’t want to see you doing good, he aint no friend and thats all there is to it

[–]kclanton800 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Well some people will be genuine, but most won't. The ones who will be genuine are few and far between.

Great for you that you have two trusted friends ...but again I ask how old are you?

Lots of people are great friends......till the day they aren't.

[–]throaway21231230 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Sounds like you got fucked over man. Fake people everywhere bro, I know what you mean. That’s why it’s better to keep your circle small.

Always keep your circle small. Remember that. Been fucked too much

i’m 16 bro

[–]kclanton800 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Absolutely keep your circle small, and if need be keep no circle. Remember that people change. Someone who seems like your best friend today can be your worst enemy in a few years. This coming from someone who ran with the pack of " great friends".

I'm 39....At your age I would have told you I had about seven or eight great friends. They all fucked over one way or another some big some small. Overtime jealousies grow....the issues of real life come into play. You will see. Trust me.

I find it best to only keep acquaintances and trust absolutely no one. NO ONE. Good luck sir.

[–]throaway21231230 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You too bro, take care.

[–]Hungboy69694201 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Those aren't friends, those are people you cut from your life

[–]c4toyourdoornobeef13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

what kind of music do you make?

[–]MultiMidsets5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

^

[–]Protocol_Apollo6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

As staz and New Zealand said, crabs in a bucket therefore don’t go showing them too much of your success ie only if someone asks.

People support others improving until they have exceeded them by a noticeable margin, eg I’m guessing your friends don’t lift at all and have no clue about steroids nor the difference between a natty or non natty physique.

They just said it to undermine the substantial hard work you put in to get that physique.

[–]topmatrixgun5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

People fit us into boxes. If we start doing something that doesn't fit the box, people are pissed. They try to drag us back to those boxes.

This is where our willpower and frame comes in. If our willpower and new frame is stronger we keep doing our new stuff and improving ourselves. This either makes people respect us or hate us.

On the other hand, if our willpower and new frame is weaker we go back to being our same pathetic self. Back to the boxes people set for us!

So, when you are doing something new it's natural that people around you might not like it because you are not playing according to their plan as you don't fit their boxes anymore. Keep doing your work, keep following your path, they will start respecting you or start hating you.

[–]Rimefang5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fuckem.

My best friend has a wife, gf, family, great job, badass car, his own garage that he built mostly on his own(I helped a bit), and honestly, I've not once resented him. In fact, I'm happy for him. He worked for everything he's got.

That's why I am hia best friend. Despite all the highs and lows, I've always stuck by his side. Whatever I need, I'll get on my own.

[–]Sadman14824 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

I make music too and I’ve spent a lot of time into it and recently I’ve seen the improvement Rapidly in my song quality . I was super nervous about playing my music for friends because at that point I had Started taking it serious and I wanted my friends to like . I’m not ashamed to admit it but I wanted their validation a little bit . And they were super excited and mind blown at how good it was and it felt good to have people that like my shit even motivated me to work even harder . I’ve made even better songs now and I can tell they are disinterested in hearing it . It went from me recording songs in my closet as a mic booth to me pursuing it seriously and I can tell it’s made them feel inadequate to see me work to my goals and get closer .

[–]amphix339[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Real shit bro

[–]i-am-the-prize4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

they are not good friends.

real friends are actually happy for you and your successes. (and comfortable in their own skin)

[–]Onidramon4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Alpha male true friends who are secure enough to support your success and aspire to lift people up around them instead of throwing you under the bus for pussy are more rare and valuable than the imaginary unicorn daughterwife tradcons want

[–]liquorbaron2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Unless you're bragging about your successes (because that's different and most people don't want to hear bragging shit constantly) they're insecure because they're comparing themselves to you and they don't like the fact that they feel like they're not measuring up for whatever reason.

[–]fannyfire2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I produced music for nearly a decade and my friends hardly ever gave a fuck. Don’t worry about it man. My friends are the same way, they’re heading into thirties and are still the same way they were when we were kids. Find friends with a growth mentality. Your friends won’t change and you will feel awkward around them as your life gets better and they can continue to be couch surfers who ease through life.

[–]abstractbarista2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I am excited and proud to see my friends grow. We learn from each other too. This is how friends operate. There's actually a mutual benefit due to increased social proof. With that said, these folks don't seem like friends.

[–]BeanNCheeze2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I discuss success with my friends. We can’t deal with the bullshit of not growing and becoming something more. Get better friends.

[–]RevolutionaryPea72 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If your friends haven't taken the red pill then they're not your friends, they're just entertainment and educational material for you. When you meet a real man who's taken the red pill, then you'll make a friend.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Now when I show it to "friends" they have this weird attitude. It's like they know it's good but they don't want to tell me type of mentality.

Crabs in a bucket, as mentioned elsewhere.

Find better friends.

[–]DevilMayCry2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dude this is like red pill 101. Crabs in a bucket mentality.

[–]Snowboard181 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Mad beta friends. Very very common just keep improving yourself and don’t give a single fuck about what they think.

[–]TheBunk_TB1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

they have this weird attitude. It's like they know it's good but they don't want to tell me type of mentality.

they'd see me at a party and tell the girls I take steroids because "no one can get that big naturally"

Jealousy/you have started growing beyond them.

[–]T-P-T-W-P1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah your friends are just shitty and shortsighted. Mine usually acknowledge various progress I make in the joking shit they give me and vice versa. They see me get with a hot chick and it’s “good job man, you probably killed it until she saw your tiny peen” or if I’ve gotten noticeably bigger it’s something like “damn bruh, lemme get some of that Tren you’re working with”.

You want friends that see you as a benefactor to their value and vice versa. Might sound conditional, because it is, but it’s large part of the basis of social hierarchies. Basically “I’m cool, y’all are cool, non-friends aren’t cool”. As others have stated, your friends have the crab bucket mentality. My friend group and I obviously compete amongst ourselves in a bunch of different ways, as does everyone, but at the end of the day we respect each other and keep a tight knit circle. We want each other to bang hot chicks, get good jobs, accomplish things, and look good because we each benefit from that association, and also because we’ve come to form genuine friendships over time. Your friends should be happy for you in your improvements not only because they should genuinely care about how you’re doing in life, but also because it ultimately benefits them in having a “better” friend. Find smarter friends.

[–]fitness43931 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

But now 2 years later, they'd see me at a party and tell the girls I take steroids because "no one can get that big naturally"

Damn man, def the jealous type. That's shitty they say that, regardless if true or not.

[–]Senior Endorseddr_warlock1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hard Next

[–]LosTheHost1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Get actual friends. Easier said than done of course, but those guys really aren't your friends if that's their attitude.

I make music as well. That's my passion and that's what I want to pursue in life, and friends encourage me and definitely support my dreams.

On another note, what kind of music do you make? I'm a hip hop producer.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Part 1: (t's long, I apologize, but I need you guys to read it, to understand, trust me, wisdom and great advice in it,)

Your friends suck, I feel you. I had 'shit' friends like that when I was in middle school to early high school.

I was a goofy kid, kinda lame, but nice. They were the wannabe badass kids, weed, drinking (as was I), I got into high school, started to grow into my body, lift, getting popular. All the day was talking bad about me (one in particular I realized was the main one but fronted like he was my 'best friend' but used me for girls and parties, and just to 'hate on' like in elementary school), got me into fights, etc..

Then I had enough, I told them I was 'done', they didn't believe me... but they noticed, got into football, got more popular, stronger, they started to bad mouth me, and I swear it was like "Final Fight" or "Street Fighter 2" as I went through, and beat up, every single one of the former 'group of friends', they knew I was a 'good Catholic kid',but the politics of the town, my family, I was regulated to be the 'bad kid' no matter what (parents immigrants, etc.. and they took advantage of that, since they knew, due to immigrant, 'other', racism, etc..(not just for me, but any immigrant or minority they could point out) you were 'less than, regardless, and that's how I fell in with one of them, since he was somewhat 'nice to me', but talked mad sh*t about me, and I had enough).

So, I told them to keep my name out of their mouths. They didn't, went to a party sought two of them out (who were my friends first, but the one scumbag friend, "Dan"(We'll call him), did that all the time. I am charismatic and meet people easily, Dan would use me to get girls or people to be friends, they would 'shit on me' tell secrets, disparage my family, etc.. heritage, so then, I'm the 'loser' and he has the friends, then they crap on me too, since they knew I was so 'nice'... (Which I was, to a fault. then something changed, and I was like, "fuck it", not nice...(Sophmore year), and I was like 'nah, homie, let's fight'. I was always a scrapper, but never would 'hit my friends in the face', but all bets were off, I had enough.).

So, I went and beat them both up at a party. One ran(him and I had been friends since we were 5th grade, but he was always a disingenuous piece of dung, selfish, douche, but was good too, if it was just 'you and him', portly f*ck) the other had just moved to our town from the East coast, I was his first friend, and he(i don't blame him) got crapped on too, since he was the perpetual 'new kid' and our town was xenophobic as heck. He wanted to be popular girls, etc... so he turned on me(I'd still talk to him again, we were kids). Etc.. Then I beat up, all of them, like one by one, and I got a rep as a 'tough' guy, but the thing was, with this group of friends...I couldn't smile.

Like something good happens for them, they get praise, oh "it's awesome', oh, "he's so good' etc.. but me? If I got anything, a girl, good a sports, "Dan" (Fake scumbag friend) would get angry about it, make it seem as it was nothing, and the rest would just 'go with him' since he was (at the time(Jr. high) cooler than me. Etc... but I got fed up.

I'll never recall our final 'break' where the friendship truly ended. I had a girl I liked, she was new girl, very pretty, cool, and they didn't believe I was talking to her (Which I was) so They forced me to call her to 'prove it' (this was 10th grade) so I called her, over, and over, and over, she finally picks up, like after 20 phone calls on her cell, but she was at I think 'soccer practice', and I'm like, 'Hey, blah blah" she's annoyed I called so many times. I have her on speaker, then they yell at her that she's a "Cake Face" and she's this or that, and I'm shocked, she finds out she's on speaker, gets crazy pissed, and I get into it with them. But Dan egged it on. I confront him, etc..

Later on in the week, something else happens, at school, I confront him 'shit-talking me, behind my back' etc.. (As we all just got into high school, and our group was disintegrating... I was going to the jocks, Jimmy(husky kid, I played little league with) and Randal (Kid from East coast) and my other buddy Kenneth(I was cool with him, Junior high, our clique was Jimmy, Kenneth, Randal, and I, Dan wasn't part of our clique, he was 'too good for me' in junior high, was a dick, etc.. but 9th grade, I got 'cool' and girls, then he popped up, and due to my forgiving heart(that's dead now) I let him back, for him to "Bogard" his way into my friend group(he lost his, getting kicked off the basketball team, 8th grade for drugs) and kicked out Kenneth, then took over Jimmy and Randal from me,, etc...), we were breaking up.

I was going full-on "football jock", Jimmy quit the football team(which severed our friendship, to do drugs with Dan, and the 'druggy kids'(which he regrets 10 years later, as his younger brother tells me), Dan did not play basketball(made Sophmore team, quit, since he wasn't on 'varsity' etc.. went to drugs), Randal didn't do much but smoke weed(didn't make the basketball team, though he should've), Kenneth was never an athlete into videos, became friends with my other buddy (Aidan) and they formed their little 'car, 2 fast 2 furious' clique of 'car guys', Integra's, etc..(was a big deal, when that movie came out)

[–]King-in-the-making1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Thanks OP.

Serious question, and I’m glad you brought this up because I’m going through a similar situation. What would you guys do if all of your friends have been your BEST friends since childhood? Obviously get new friends is the answer, but they are literally family to me.

I want to pull them up with me, but I swear everything that comes out of their mouth is an excuse, so much so that I literally laugh at them when they tell me why they can’t improve themselves (followed by more excuses, and rationalizations). They are my bro’s, but they’ve just gotten so comfortable, it’s frustrating. It’s like when I try to motivate them, they get angry and just try to change the subject.

A bit long winded, but has anyone else been through a similar situation?

[–]failingtheturingtest0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

They are your best friends, figuratively family. And you laugh at them when they give you reasons they think are holding them back. And you think THEY are the shitty friends?

[–]King-in-the-making1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not once did I say, or imply, they are shitty friends you illiterate fuck. I said I’m frustrated they want to stay stagnant.

You’re clearly trolling. If not, you have my deepest condolences. Your future children will need it, they may be retarded.

[–]Thatbiengsaid0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This simply means you never had friends in the first place.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Part 2:

But, were in his car, and I was pissed about a host of sh*t, he was doing to me(which he felt he had the right to do due to a scumbag, racist, 50 year old, virgin Teacher, we both had in 6th grade, that took glee in destroying minorities and 'immigrants', and telling kids that you'd 'amount to nothing' in front of the entire class, but he hated me the most, everyone knew it, and he took glee making me look like a fool in front of the whole class, etc.. it was so bad, this rep followed me, so, Dan always felt he had 'my number' due to that). I confronted him, and here was the conversation.

To Preface: At my high school, being "popular" was a big deal. Huge deal, if you weren't you were shut out of our society like a leper. This was one of those, "Most kids don't get out" type of towns, and everyone only speaks about "high school" and if you go to college, it's a 'meh' to them since you were a 'loser' in high school. Stifling, shitty, crappy people. Drugs and suicides and overdoses are common (guess the state?).

Me: Why the hell are you talking shit about me to people at school? (we just started a new school? ( school? I hadn't hung out with him, at all, through junior high (7-9th grade), I had become kind of a 'bad ass'kid as that time, made me learn to be 'nice, but not so nice' ala "Roadhouse"(great movie, Patrick Swayze, movie is legit? )

Dan: (gets kind of shocked I confronted him, then doubles down) Well, everything I say, I say to your face as well, so I'm not talking shit?

Me: That's bullshit, we have jokes, but they're just for you, me, Randal, and Jimmy, not the entire school? Wtf? and you hating on me to Vanessa? (the girl from the convo)..

Dan:(gets an insidious smile), Well, so what? You weren't going to get her anyway, she'd never go for you, blah blah...

Me: She didn't even know who you were, and wouldn't even talk to you, or any of you guys if it wasn't for me... Like wtf? So you were talking shit?

Dan: Well, everyone says stuff about you, so what's the big deal?

Me: You're supposed to be my friend, like wtf? (as he kinda laughed, which pissed me off)

Dan: Whatever, who cares, f*ck that b*tch.

Me: Don't call her that... What's wrong with you? I mean, you do know I don't have to be friends with you, right?

Dan: (I swear, Doctor Evil type laugh) hahahahhahahahah, Yeah right(sarcastic), yeah right(With a tone of 'you're lucky for me to talk to you"(since he always had ' my number' since that elementary school and a few scum teachers in junior high).

Me: oh, really? okay, bet... We'll see whose popular and who gets girls at the end of all of this...

I then proceed to get out of his car(we were at his house) and I walked up the street to y friend Aidan's house, then went home, then I quit talking to him for a while. He ended up getting kicked out for 'bad grades', and I ended up with the football team (older guys) and the group dissipated. I got really popular, beat up all the former friends, got known as a 'tough guy' wild kid, but now I could 'smile' since my 'tough football buddies' all we did was jokes, hugs, wedgies, rough house, etc.. crap.

Every word wasn't a 'diss' or a 'put down', we could just 'tease',and we didn't' make fun of, or tease people we did not like' (that's a trick to win at life, only tease those you actually like, and care for, trust me).

Dan's group, went deeper into drugs, harder stuff, freebasing, heroin, oxy's etc.... he neer graduated with our class(I think he got his GED like a year or so later, I don't know), neither did Jimmy, and Randal's parents got tired of the area, and moved out of state, due to his drug use, etc... Of all of them, I'd talk to Jimmy again... We have a connection from "Little League", and Jimmy never truly betrayed me, or hated on me like that.. at all, we were family friends(I'm still friends with Jimmy's younger brother)

But Dan's group used to 'talk shit' to each other, but it wasn't jokes like "oh, you're a bit rotund' teasing. It was like quote,"

Dan: Eric you're fat fucking disgusting, loser, and have no girlfriend, haha, look at this dumb fuck? (while they're all high, they laugh)

Eric: Fuck you, Dan! At least I graduated high school on time, did you graduate? haha, fucking failure.

(this was the last time I ever saw them, really, about a year after I graduated, and a friend of mine forced me to go there to get buy some weed, my 1st year of college).

The only thought that crossed my mind was, "I can't believe I ever hung out with these people" and the second thought was "I wish I left sooner", that '1 summer into Sophmore year' hanging out with Dan, brought me 3 years of hate, jealousy, and fights. I say that to tell you... Pick your friends wisely... and if they suck, they suck.

Also, by age 25, people are who they are... If they're selfish, they're selfish. If they're untrustworthy, they're 'untrustworthy' etc.... they won't change, barring some 'life or death situation'. Not going to happen.

The friends you keep(as I have, and I'm happy) are the good kids, that were cool, or the good kids that were 'lame', but nice, and good-hearted, you can 'make them cool' as I do to my friends. I like people just because they're goofy, or nice, or rotund, etc... since they're good people, I learn to love them for them.

My advice, get out now! Fuck it, you can't change them, you don't need it. Who cares? You're wasting your time with them.. Trust me.

[–]failingtheturingtest-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Introspection time :

Maybe your music is shit? Maybe they just don't like that style of music and can't recognise if it's good.

No, of course that would be impossible. It's everyone else who is wrong. You're music is the greatest and that's why you've found so much success with it already.

[–]hoopingblob-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Why do you even have friends? You should use them to get girls or when you're being bored.

Forget about having good friends you will never have good friends



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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