Women who are 30+, what are your honest opinions of MEN around your own age?

boomcheese44 · 2019-11-28T18:14:11+00:00

Got married after 32, so not dating them now. Honestly, they were the same as in youth. I never saw anyone (besides Chad) age like wine or become a drastically better version of themselves when older. I'm assuming its only a very small percentage of men that are able to do that.

Most of the desirables I knew were dating in their age range. The few youth chasers I came across were non-appealing dudes anyway, despite their accounting or STEM jobs.

Ofourkind · 2019-11-28T18:01:57+00:00

It say it's just more extreme on both ends.

The "good ones" are MUCH better than the "good ones" in their twenties.

The "bad ones" are MUCH worse and more pathetic than the "bad ones" in their twenties.

crookedsummer2019 · 2019-11-28T19:57:03+00:00

I’m early 30s and married so not dating but I personally think men look their best in their 30s (the ones who keep in shape I mean) They get more lean around the face, less babyish looking. The well rounded ones seem to have more natural confidence and less ego and chest thumping.

The not so well rounded ones are like sad versions of teenage boys, probably like their female counterparts. Immaturity is a bad look on both men and women past a certain age.

As for men who only want much younger women? Despite what the manosphere likes to fantasize, the average woman his age has options and is not crying alone with her 10 cats because some men her age date younger women. I don’t think the average women really spends much time worrying about or even thinking about it.

I think he if wants and can attract much younger women then go for it. I’ve only know two men who were able to attract and date much younger women and both of them didn’t put down and trash women their own age.

The one man I knew who unsuccessfully tried to date much younger women, did in fact put down and trash women his own age. So when I read men trashing older women I see a man who is mad that he can’t date much younger women and he’s projecting that anger. I don’t see men who successfully date much younger women needing to be angry at older women.

Catharticoverdrive · 2019-11-28T18:26:52+00:00

The majority look like dogshit compared to younger. I'm talking guys in my peer group, 40 and up. Aside from that, mixed bag.

goatismycopilot · 2019-11-28T18:28:38+00:00

I don't care if men in my age group date younger women. I would say there is not much middle ground either they totally let themselves go and look gross or they look like they are juicing and super into working out 24/7 and eating an almond for lunch. IRL I get along good with them the BFs and husbands of my friends like me. I have gym and hiking acquaintances I yammer with, my redneck neighbor rightfully gave me shit today for not wearing any orange while I was out walking my dog in rural la la land and said he would drop an orange beanie in my mailbox.

Barneysparky · 2019-11-28T18:03:10+00:00

Some are great, some are good, a few are bad.

Women my age in general have their life together and a strong sense of self. Even those who were irratic in their youth have slowed down enough so others around them can breath. Same thing I would say about men my age.

The only men I knew enmass who dated younger were the sexpats in Nicaragua. The vast majority of them were running from their former lives and were generally delusional.

SmurfESmurferson · 2019-11-28T19:43:26+00:00

Almost 40. Dating a 41 year old, have dated up to a 49 year old

The biggest thing is relationship history - if he’s widowed, divorced or has had a decade or so long LTR? He’s probably a good guy

2019-11-28T21:28:55+00:00

I'm 28 so...

Mostly I just find them more boring and careerminded than younger guys, and I have to eliminate a quarter of them because they're balding and another quarter of them because they have dadface or oldface already. The ones who don't have any of these things are the perfect demo for LTRs. My dream guy is a guy my age who just looks a lot younger, which i've actually managed to find lol

No hate for guys who date younger girls because when it comes to casual sex or flings I prefer younger guys myself. maybe there really is something to the fact that we all just get less appealing. I only consider guys my age or older for serious relationships, but when I just want to get banged by a random yeah gimme the 22 year old lol

FlavFal · 2019-11-28T18:44:50+00:00

How do you feel about men who are over 30?

Neutral. Some are fun to talk to because of shared age and experiences, some can be annoying and act like they're much older than they actually are. The people known as "30yo boomers" who have no idea what they're talking about 90% of the time. One thing I've noticed is that many of them really don't take aging well. Many feel depressed about entering their 30s, even the ones who are still good looking. Plenty feel insecure about their thinning hairlines and start doing steroids because of their loss of strength and vigor.

How are they in relationships when compared to the younger men you dated in the past?

I have no idea.

How do you feel about the men over 30 who only date much younger women?

I understand, there are many benefits to dating younger people. The ones who tie their self-esteem to sexual conquests are a bit cringy though. It sounds like teenager stuff.

Iluvalmonds83 · 2019-11-28T21:00:08+00:00

As a 36 year old who recently got out of actively dating others and recently going into a relationship, the guys I went on dates with my age were mostly intelligent, stable, career focused guys who’d divorced, may have kids. They took reasonable care of themselves for what it looked like. I also had the pleasure of meeting guys my age who were “Wild” and unfocused in their twenties but took control of their lives and turned themselves around by their thirties(similar to my boyfriend now). And then there were a few that never really had a committed relationship before, were flakey in general, and too focused on themselves to consider attributing to building a relationship with anyone.

I know of a few guys at work/ friends of friends in their 30’s/40’s who are still single and that’s because they are hot messes. Don’t take care of their appearance or health/fitness, or really motivated to accomplish anything in life outside playing board/video games, are straight up creepy and awkward when approaching women then always posting on their social media about how horrible women are.

rhyth7 · 2019-11-28T23:42:33+00:00

I'm thirty and the single men my age often look way too old to be thirty themselves. They also don't seem to care about their health or hygiene much either. I feel like they are more open to longterm relationships though, partly because their parents are getting impatient with them or they're tired of having roommates and want a wife to live with. Many are still way too into gaming and drinking though and I do not want to be a maid to that. Some dudes look really good but are super dedicated to their gym and clean eating, I cannot live such a hypervigilant life either. I feel like at age thirty, they also do not want to date or put any effort into it, they just want an instant relatiinship where we're both couth potatoes because that's cheapest and easiest. That makes me sad, feels too young to be the boring old couple already.

Willow-girl · 2019-11-29T04:38:05+00:00

One of the drawbacks to dating at 30+ is that many of the men are divorced with children, saddled with child support payments and kid obligations that eat up their free time and disposable income. (Got a kidfree one here myself, whew!)

Deadgirl1888 · 2019-11-28T19:36:30+00:00

I usually date 4 to 5 years younger. I'm 32.

Tomatoccino · 2019-11-28T21:41:14+00:00

Same as men under 30, but with more baggage and ego. I’m single and 45, and a dog is much more appealing as a companion than a man.

2019-11-28T23:44:43+00:00

Younger men are definitely more attractive. Men peak physically in their early 20’s. Grey hair and receding hairlines and dad bods are not hot. Men seem to be in denial about this. However relationship wise, men in their 20’s are too immature and seem to prioritise sex over everything else. So while I will always check out the younger guys I’d probably never want a relationship with one. I think older men who constantly lust after younger women are pathetic but I blame porn for normalising this behaviour.

rus9384 · 2019-11-28T18:04:37+00:00

They are a good lot, why complain? Lots of men stay sexy and active and there are so many types to fit everyone's niche. I do not notice much in the way of the wall for a good portion of men, but on the other hand...half of them get fat. The one big downside to men aging is the expanding waistlines and while this is not a dealbreaker it is a compromise. My boyfriend hits the gym hard but a lot of career people do not have time or inclination and things just slip away.

As far as relationships go, older men offer a lot to a childfree woman who is relieved that he already had kids and is done. Whew.

AggravatingTartlet · 2019-11-29T00:06:48+00:00

Some look good, some don't. I guess I find a lot of them boring, because they're into sports and that's about it. When I was in my early 20s, guys seemed to be more open and into a wide variety of things. They talked about college subjects and world affairs and philosophy and were more like my girlfriends I guess. But now, many men in their 30s seem to be all about sport, as in, watching it and talking about it.

There are some 30s men who are into a wide variety of things, and have a great maturity and perspectives on life, but these seem rare.

How are they in relationships when compared to the younger men you dated in the past?

Hard to say because my guy is 8 years younger. So he's as young as men I dated when I was younger. I didn't deliberately look for a younger man. But after all these years, it's worked out really well.

How do you feel about the men over 30 who only date much younger women?

I feel nothing. Men who want to date much younger women are welcome to. It doesn't affect me.

I guess, if I was single, where it might affect me is the men who were desperate to date much younger women but couldn't, and then end up bitter and twisted, and then they end up trying to date women their own age - and then I unknowingly end up dating one of them. That would suck eggs.

misiepatysie · 2019-11-29T07:55:10+00:00

I feel about them exactly as about any other men. Tey can be good or bad, in shape or out of shape, intelligent or stupid, funny or boring. Depands on the men.
People tend to be better in relationship with ae but only if thet have the ability to learn from their own mistakes. Men who are 30+ and are only chasing young pussy are not LTR material. Also many men have wifews and families. But those who are left if we exclude the above groups are usually vey dateable.
Also I prefer men my age give or take 5 years. I want the man to be in my age brackets, with similar goals, expirences, salary etc.
I do not care who people are dtaing in general but I would not like to be in an LTR with someone only dating mych younger girls, as I thinkit reflexes some personality flaws and inability to form an adult bond.

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OddButton6 · 2019-11-29T23:15:59+00:00

I'm 29 now and guys 30s and up are either lazy slobs or the ones that got their chit together are slaying women. I don't really find that many dudes that are boring in their 30s.

createweirdstories · 2020-02-07T03:37:26+00:00

They are so boring. Young guys are way hotter and more interesting but dont want to commit.

paladine76a · 2019-11-28T19:55:45+00:00

Interesting responses from the women here. As a man who went thru his 30s I saw the opposite view. The most difficult aspect was the vast majority had kids and multiple failed relationships BEFORE me. Some had kids with multiple fathers from those failed relationships. Not the best way to enter a relationship for a man. 😕

How I viewed them was unimportant because men are treated as another disposable man at that age. Most women are so jaded but desperate for companionship but also always put their kids above any man they meet making the relationships tenuous at best. Seen quite a few women make it to their 40s solely focusing on their kids lives to the detriment of their personal relationships.

It's just the way the world is..

Title	Women who are 30+, what are your honest opinions of MEN around your own age?
Author	acenosk
Upvotes	10
Comments	81
Date	November 28, 2019 5:51 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/e31ggn/women_who_are_30_what_are_your_honest_opinions_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-who-are-30-what-are-your-honest-opinions-of.296973 https://theredarchive.com/post/296973

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