How is hookup culture in any way bad?

IlluminatiGaySex · 2019-12-08T04:37:12+00:00

In the pragmatic sociatal sense, even ceremonial polygamy is a net loss on society without checks to go with it. We are jumping headfirst into unrestricted polygamy, which seems to,

Decrease population growth
Lower male incentive to be successful and efficient
Increase STI rates and single motherhood
Lower bottom-tier male stability

Severity of the problems in that order, I'd say. Hard to say when shit will hit the fan, but hopefully us older people will be able to reap the benefits long enough for the following generations to be the ones to clean up the mess.

FatmanSlim93 · 2019-12-08T04:53:50+00:00

I want an actual relationship and the more women that sleep around the less likely I’ll find a gf/wife?

TheJim66 · 2019-12-08T05:39:31+00:00

It's good if you are good looking and want to bang sluts.

It's bad if you want to have a family or an LTR.

Plus all the other stuff already mentioned.

intersIn · 2019-12-08T06:40:22+00:00

I have mixed feelings on this. Maybe for a couple years casual dating is fine (figure out what you want and what you don't want). However when life's shitty surprises hit (death, layoffs, health issues, losing your house due to mother nature) empty realtionships won't help you through them. Friends and family are great but they aren't there when you wake up in a cold sweat and have no idea what to do.

I have been married for 10 years and my husband and I have faced and survived all of these things, and each time we do, I love him more.

lilsaihah · 2019-12-08T07:59:30+00:00

Same reason you explain to your kid why they can't have candy for every meal.

It'll rot your ability to pair bond.

The novelty wears off after you've had a few rounds.

It doesn't actually progress you towards success in your long-term goals.

Don't get me wrong, it shouldn't be illegal, but hookup culture is frowned on by most cultures in the world for a reason, and slut-shaming exists for a reason: over the long term, it doesn't pan out.

Workaholiconew · 2019-12-08T04:32:02+00:00

Simply put? there are bad things in everything and people do not like the bad things in this. To you maybe means more opportunities in partner variety, but for a lot of people, it means fewer opportunities in many aspects like long term relationships and good partners.

Also the good parts are not divided equally, those who had lots of partners opportunities before, now have way more, but those with limited opportunities, have little, and in increasing numbers, many have zero opportunities, making this seem as zero good parts for them.

MC_Purp · 2019-12-08T04:54:21+00:00

Its bad because I can't hookup with as many thots as chad can

saladfingers4141 · 2019-12-08T06:06:22+00:00

Because dudes on here want to wife hot virgins but hook up culture has basically eliminated that as hot girls can now choose to get dicked down by good looking guys before settling down.

Maybelowsmv · 2019-12-08T05:36:47+00:00

How is it more safe

BloofGoober · 2019-12-08T11:12:21+00:00

I'll just post this again, since I feel it's relevant. Sorry in advance. I welcome discussion, if anyone gets through it.

My suspicion is that it has, more-or-less, explicitly harmed society, and could continue to get worse.

I think it all hinges on the value of sex. I'll explain, but please bear with me as this is probably going to be really long.

As far as I understand, one of the driving forces separating us from chimpanzees, in terms of evolution, is the development of human females' sexual selectivity.

The development of sexual selectivity, it seems to me, caused an interesting dilemma; theoretically women would only be having children with the best of men.

I'd like to preface this next thought with the idea that there is an inherent value in women, as far as I understand. It stems not only from the sexual selectivity attribute on its face, but also in that women incubate children.

Men, on the other hand, are comparatively not-so-valuable. One man can impregnate multiple women, and that's the only other piece of the puzzle. Men, therefore, are rather expendable. We really only need one for procreation to take place.

So then begs the question: if women will only have children with the best of men, how do we determine who exactly that is? In other words, where is the value in a man, considering men aren't inherently valuable, at least not quite in the same way as women?

We've determined, it seems to me, that for various reasons we should value a man by his competence. We can measure this, as it manifests itself as contribution to society. In other words, men who could find solutions to the problems that plague society have historically been deemed valuable.

When we were living in hunter-gatherer societies, it so happened that occasionally the people in our little villages would get hungry. So, considering women are precious (see the paragraphs on inherent value), and hunting could be dangerous, we would send the men to hunt.

Well, over the course of time, we'd end up being able to tell roughly who was the best hunter, considering usually it'd be the case that a few men would bring home the overwhelming majority of food, and most men would bring home little-to-nothing, as per the Pareto Distribution.

The men who would bring home more food were seen as more valuable than the other men, and usually the behaviors that would cause them to be adept at hunting would cause them to be more valuable in other areas as well. These men got to have children.

Not only did they get children, but society would find a way to provide resources to these men to attempt to keep them solving problems. Once you have children, with no other motivation, you can just stop. Society would like for that not to be the case, and I don't think it's unwarranted.

As time would carry on, this idea would become more and more complex, especially with the creation of currency and whatnot, but the themes remained roughly the same.

There was one problem though: as per the Pareto Distribution, only few men would get the overwhelming majority of female attention, and most men would get little-to-none.

The issues with this are as follows: 1) Society has many, many, many problems, and 2) We value human life and the quality of human life.

It would behoove us, especially as society gets more and more complex, to have as many people as we can tackling the problems that plague us. If the only reason problems get solved anyway is because of the idea that there will be sex on the other end of it, what is the point for most men to bother getting involved considering they'll be overshadowed by the few men who excel? That also just strictly leads to a sort of nihilism where the question becomes "Why do anything?" considering it's a fundamental objective of animals to reproduce.

Now, this is where the idea of marriage becomes rather useful. A man and a woman get paired together, and they can't break the bond. The man can't leave the woman and vice versa, and other women have to respect the relationship and find other men (the woman in the marriage theoretically shouldn't be looking to other men because she has the best man).

This motivates men to stay in the game, ergo creating more great men who solve society's problems, and keeping women happy because not only do they theoretically get good men, their resources, and security (considering they have to commit, and it can't be broken), but they also get a CHOICE of good men, considering there are more good men now and the women still have the power to dictate who gets children, so they're in control.

With the creation of the concept of divorce, things get rough. That one king dude that broke away from the church way-back-when kinda ruined things. It eliminates women's security. I suppose it's not all bad though, some relationships are rough and sometimes breaking it up can be a good thing. I'd argue the overwhelming majority can be salvaged, but I suppose it is what it is.

Forgive me as I kinda just jump to the period of the last sixty years or so to now.

With the onset of the civil-rights movements, post-modern philosophy, and birth control, lots of things changed. Most notably, I believe, society as a whole became more progressively oriented, and less traditionally oriented. People gained a newfound aversion to religion, marriage as an institution began to fall under skepticism, and people were fuckin' like crazy.

This wouldn't be too bad if not for the fact that it isn't just simply that all of these things were happening at face value. In regards to the whole "people were fuckin' like crazy" thing, this came with a huge issue.

It seems to me that women forgot that they have value. More specifically, it seems to me that the idea that sex has value at all completely faded away.

Particularly with the invention of birth control, women didn't see a risk in casual sex anymore. It's fun and relatively risk-free, so fuck it, why not?

Well, because when you give sex away for free, it goes completely against your base instincts. Maybe that's why not.

You're supposed to be sexually selective, remember? This is why we aren't chimps anymore! Maybe that's why not!

The entire idea is actually exactly the opposite of progressive. It's precisely REGRESSIVE.

When men don't have to work for sex, they don't work. When men don't work, roughly half of the population isn't working to solve society's problems. When women only give the free sex to the prettiest men (considering no one has any motivation to work to attain any value for themselves, and there is no other way to measure the value of a man), you dispossess the majority of men, 'cause the majority of men aren't pretty.

You create a glut of "economically unattractive" men. When you marry these men, because divorce is a thing, you inevitably will find that they offer nothing except perhaps very few resources, and you will divorce them. If you don't have a career for yourself, and you end up being kicked to the curb, the old ways of being financially reliant on your man won't work, 'cause there is no security in marriage anymore. Now women need to make good money where they didn't before because nothing is guaranteed.

Now, I'm not saying that things are universally like this. There are obviously men that try. There are obviously women and men who value commitment and sex and whatnot. Society isn't falling apart at the seams. There's even reason to suspect that the pendulum might even be swinging back. It's important, however, to consider that if the pendulum doesn't swing back EVER, things might not turn out so swell in the end.

I apologize for the Great Wall of China. I'd love to have a discussion about this, if anyone manages to read it.

If anyone does manage to, I appreciate you takin' the time.

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Reisiluu · 2019-12-08T10:14:57+00:00

For the people saying that hook up culture is bad, the underlying assumption is that hooking up in itself is bad.

the-4th-survivor · 2019-12-08T12:05:03+00:00

It sounds good until you're done hooking up and ready to settle down but then you realize the only women you have to choose from are older versions of the same women you and your buddies were pumping and dumping for the last decade. It's like a pyromaniac setting his own house on fire and happily watching as it burns to the ground until reality hits him that he no longer has a home to live in. In other words it feels good in the short term but fucks you over in the long run. In the end it's better for both men and women to find themselves a good partner and settle down at a young age. Studies show that marriages are happier and less likely to end in divorce the fewer sex partners you've had in your life and this effect was much stronger in women.

2019-12-08T13:29:07+00:00

Nothing is good or bad.

Hookups have been around since ever, and in the past 5-10 years have become even more pervasive, and it's here to stay, and increase in pervasiveness and frequency.

Two willing adults engaging in some temporary fun: isn't it wonderful? Everything you want, and nothing you need. Just the perfect activity to relax, de-stress and have some fun.

Just wrap it up to avoid STD.

What is bad is the hypocrisy that at times some of the participants want to change history by expecting more from a hookup than what it is, a hookup; or a series of fun-filled hookups.

PapaPinyun · 2019-12-08T14:40:35+00:00

it's definitely a red-flag when you are pursuing any relationship with any adult in any context, professional, social, criminal, romantic, whatever.

A fully formed human psychology that is operating in accord with its actual individual potential, from a place of basic contentment, has more gravity and more commitment than that. After a certain age or phase or whatever it just indicates that someone is stupid and generally low value in any imaginable capacity to me. When you are young though it's like, ok a real human psyche is made out of a perspective on the stupid shit you've done or seen other people do, so when you are among grownups talking like you, it registers as, "why did they never acquire a perspective, they are still fumbling around their issues like an adolescent."

wtknight · 2019-12-08T16:58:22+00:00

It’s bad because I have no desire to hook up or to be with women who like to hook up with random men. Luckily it has never been difficult for me to find women who don’t like hook ups.

2019-12-08T21:57:48+00:00

Depends on how good looking you are.

Freevoulous · 2019-12-08T10:31:06+00:00

It is not, it is just demonised by have-nots who cannot get laid. It is the same reason why lazy fuckers hate capitalism: it punishes lack of effort and breaks the illusion of equality.

The hookup culture is the only true free market in existence, it is 100% controlled by supply and demand, and sexual communists want to break it by enforcing a Marxist: "to each man a GF" policy, because they lack the balls to win one on their own.

Title	How is hookup culture in any way bad?
Author	IlluminatiGaySex
Upvotes	0
Comments	67
Date	December 8, 2019 4:21 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/e7p56p/how_is_hookup_culture_in_any_way_bad/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-is-hookup-culture-in-any-way-bad.298292 https://theredarchive.com/post/298292

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