I don't know if I'll ever stop being misogynistic

I_like_the_word_MUFF · 2020-12-28T14:34:37+00:00

21 and already planned your life right up until your grave.

How utterly sad that at 21 it's over for your growth in your own head.

You will probably live another 60 years, but a stagnate 60 long years it will be.

Inareskai · 2020-12-28T18:02:15+00:00

'I want women to like me'

'I am a misogynist'

I think I can see your problem.

zoemondo · 2020-12-28T13:10:45+00:00

"Women have an inherent value that most men don't have"

What value do you speak of?

andthomcar · 2020-12-28T15:33:01+00:00

I think you have a few points but have come to the wrong conclusions. It is easier for women to find someone to simply have sex with. I also completely understand the insecurity of feeling like you are not attractive. It feels like attractive women have an innate power over you just because of the way they look. It is frustrating to have that feeling about women while also feeling like you can’t do that to anyone. It creates a power dynamic that plays directly off one of your biggest insecurities. It causes resentment because how are any of these women supposed to understand how you feel? It is so easy for them, right?

A lot of women have the complete opposite end of the spectrum problem. The only thing they are ever seen for is their body. A lot of the guys they meet will tell them anything they want to hear just to try to sleep with them. This makes it difficult for people of the opposite sex to communicate about their problems. It hard for someone who has never been desired for their body to hear someone else complain about how they are only desired for their body. It can be very hard when you only have your own perspective when trying to gauge how women think and feel because sexual attraction is very important to you when looking at women. You lack the self-confidence to see how anyone could look at you and want to be with you.

The bad news is that if you are looking for the ability to easily sleep around with a ton of people then unfortunately that is not likely to happen. But as you already said in other comments, it is not really about the biological urge to have sex, it is more about the desire to feel desired. The good news is that YOU CAN find a relationship that gives you what you are looking for. It is a lot easier for women to get beyond innate physical attractiveness. The thing women find more attractive than anything is a sense of humor. Other things most women find attractive are determination and passion. Putting time and effort into your physical appearance will also help. Find a way to get exercise that will work for you. Also, spends some time considering the way that you dress and your hygiene routine (haircut, shaving, brushing teeth, etc.) effect the way you look over an extended period.

Online dating has basically become the new “hook up” scene. The best way to find girls to date are events focused on a common interest. It doesn’t matter what you’re into, find ways to meet people who like the same things as you. Remember, your goal is not to make “women” as a group find you attractive. It is to find the woman that will treat you like you want to be treated.

This leads me to my last point. It is a very hard thing to generalize people. While there may be millions of women out there that symbolize everything you do not like, there are also millions that have been lumped into the same category that do not deserve it. It will be hard to have a relationship with any woman if you are harboring resentment about all women. Everybody is an individual. Just as you are not responsible for the actions of other men, any individual woman has no control over the actions or the perception of “women” as a group. You can always consume content (books, podcasts, etc.) that can help you see a female perspective more, but the best way to get beyond this is to build a friendship with a woman. Try seeking out a relationship with a woman with the goal of only being friends. Seeing how you treat someone when you are not trying to get anything from them will be enlightening. Also, contrary to all the friendzone rhetoric out there, most relationships where one person is considered more attractive than the other start with at least 6 months of friendship beforehand.

Comfortable_Intern57 · 2020-12-28T17:33:56+00:00

I'm Demisexual. The idea of just hooking up with random "Chads" makes me shutter. Also most women want love and relationships, not just sex. We both have our gripes and much of the time we don't get what we want, but that's life, man.

Comfortable_Intern57 · 2020-12-28T17:32:03+00:00

Nobody is owed anything in life, not sex, not love, not money, etc.

yomimaru · 2020-12-28T13:17:34+00:00

I think you should stop thinking about other people (women included) and think about yourself. Does this belief make you happier?

Q-9 · 2020-12-28T15:26:08+00:00

Problem with data from dating apps is that it tells only about the behaviour of people who use the app. It's not like all women or men are there. Less so for women.

People I know around me, maybe 10% are using the apps and those are solely men. I wouldn't touch those apps with a long stick as a woman.

pastadedientes · 2020-12-28T17:05:28+00:00

Do you want a woman to like you for how you look, or who you are? Remember everybody will become elderly.

Wanting to be desired and wanting to be loved and having a good relationship without doing any work in you first, is the same as trying to find your dream job with 0 studies or degrees.

Plus, if you were pretty but were not a good person, or lazy, or having dreams or ambitions is less probably that you will have a good relationship. It's not all about looks.

Plus, don't think women have it easy. I'm a woman. I'm pretty, but I have a lot to work on myself to become a better person (I'm a good person but lazy af). Yes, I can have sex almost whenever I want but most men my age don't know how to satisfy a woman and plus: it's tiring the fact that 99% of the time a man approach me, it's for having sex. I almost can't have male friends. If I say "no" sometimes they won't take it seriously or they will get angry (specially if they did favors to me, favors I thought where uninterested).

It's not easy for both genders. But I can assure you that working on ourselves is the only thing that will get us a good relationship.

And please, never again pay for sex, most women do it for a necessity, not for "liking" the "job". Plus if you want a good relationship, is less likely that a high value woman will like the fact that you where with a prostitute. Not because we think it's a filthy thing, but it's basically taking advantage on a woman in need.

Vatican87 · 2020-12-28T18:05:44+00:00

Bro win in life, my advice to you as someone 12 years older than you and in my best time. These are the things that will matter most: education, career and health. Work on these three and build yourself. Stop thinking about other people or women.

Once your stable in life financially and well educated, you will have tons of options towards you regarding a potential partner. Girls change drastically closer to 30, they put appearances on the lowest of their priority list when dating men, believe me when I say this. Good luck.

Guapscotch · 2020-12-28T13:34:47+00:00

Might be a good time to detach yourself from the dating scene or any form of romantic relationships and just focus on yourself until you are comfortable to try it in the future, or honestly never. There is no rule in society that says people have to partake in the development of romantic relationships, you don’t have to do it at all. In fact, truthfully you don’t have to do anything. Ultimately it’s all worthless, so it’s important to find your own intrinsic purpose in life and let that motivate you. Relationships and love is all a crock of shit anyway. Find a deeper meaning out of life and everything falls into place

mc0079 · 2020-12-29T15:00:22+00:00

You state your unattractive and have social anxiety. Maybe this is the problem huh? But its easier for you to hate women. Also dude your 21. I know dude who didn't have sex till there were 27 and now are happily married with a kid on the way. 21 is super young.

Frid_here_sup · 2020-12-29T23:58:13+00:00

I would suggest therapy. If you struggle with anxiety and constantly think about sex to the point where it becomes unhealthy, therapy can help you with that.

I can tell you that the only time in my life when I felt that the opposite sex was interested in me was that short period of happiness and confidence right before the pandemic when somehow my mental health got a little better.

So yeah, therapy is the key my dude. Having a girlfriend will not heal you, you will still be anxious even in a relationship if you don’t take care of your anxiety first

undertoned- · 2020-12-30T09:18:29+00:00

[deleted]

Title	I don't know if I'll ever stop being misogynistic
Author	undertoned-
Upvotes	0
Comments	196
Date	December 28, 2020 1:04 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/klq68l/i_dont_know_if_ill_ever_stop_being_misogynistic/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/i-dont-know-if-ill-ever-stop-being-misogynistic.340944 https://theredarchive.com/post/340944

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