My daughter screamed out that she didnt want me...

the_unseen_one · 2018-09-26T16:50:06+00:00

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CiceroVoltaire · 2018-09-26T16:54:44+00:00

Sorry to hear your situation.

at 3 years old, she doesn't see you all day when you're at work, don't try to force it. take a toy of hers, sit on the floor and play yourself, don't talk directly to her or engage her directly, let her approach you and join you. talk to her softly, muster up the best, softest, kindest, babyish voice you can do, to reduce any fear she may have. engage her slowly, gently, patiently, calmly. every day, consistency is important.

when you get home from work, make fun, emotional, learning interactions with your daughter your first and only priority. take it slowly, let her learn who you are, feel safe, trust at her own speed, and let her bond with you.

if your wife objects, tell her this is your time with your daughter, and adjust to the reactions calmly. loudness, arguing, temper, raising your voice, etc. will only scare your daughter and make her more afraid of you. If Mommy yells, your daughter will be afraid too, because mommy is her primary protector. If this keeps happening and you are kind, patient, soft-spoken, relaxed (this is important kids can sense anger, fear and other emotions), safe, happy, etc., she'll see you as her protector and safety when mommy is losing her mind.

Take a few deep breaths, think it through, make a logical plan of action without emotions.

List your goals, priorities, concerns then talk to a male divorce attorney, consultation to find out your options, what you can expect, and how you can prepare to minimize your losses and obtain your objectives.

If you write any of this down anywhere be careful it's not found by anyone.

good luck.

2018-09-26T17:48:21+00:00

Well, she's only 3, so yeah, she doesn't understand how hurtful it is. The wife though, wow.

I_like_PnutButter · 2018-09-26T16:48:15+00:00

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ProgrammaticallyMeal · 2018-09-26T16:47:47+00:00

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FlyingSexistPig · 2018-09-26T18:23:43+00:00

You can't demand respect, but you can lead them to respect you.

Your daughter thinks it's okay to say that because of the non-verbal signs that her mother gives towards you. The problem is not the disrespect from your daughter. That's just a symptom of the problem. The problem is disrespect from your wife. You can live with it, rotting your marriage away from the inside. Or you can fix it.

What do you want to do?

aCNNAnonymousSource · 2018-09-26T16:58:36+00:00

Friend you are just a money provider. If she would get your back to a 3 year old who should be learning manners and respect by know, she won’t get your back to anyone else. Need to start planning, squirreling away money and what not

cyber_rigger · 2018-09-26T16:56:41+00:00

You need to learn to work your daughter.

elementalwalruss · 2018-09-26T19:59:37+00:00

Whenever someone calls you selfish it just means they want something from you.

Same in this case. They're just trying to use this shaming language because it works. Until it won't.

This is why divorce should let you keep all your money. She calls you worthless and the wife treats you like shit? Well how about you actually leave if she doesn't want you and let's see how they like it then. I guess I'm not the best at giving advice, but you shouldn't have to deal with that crap in the first place and now you're stuck, because otherwise you get divorce raped.

2018-09-26T18:15:45+00:00

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RandomReeditUser · 2018-09-26T19:11:29+00:00

Children develop most of their programming in the first seven years. If she sees your wife treating you like shit, she's going to end up doing the same.

I_like_PnutButter · 2018-09-26T16:46:41+00:00

I think nobody here would judge you if you walked away. Most of us have been through this, get all you took a month to earn taken as soon as you get home, hear that you're useless and that you're not making enough money, that you're trash and disposable and after all that they tell you to man up and go back to work to make more money.

In the end she takes all you have, you become homeless, paying child support for a kid that the mother managed to put against you (my mom tried to do it with me), develop some mental illness and suicidal thoughts.

I'd walk alway to preserve my sanity. It's gonna be your fault anyway, no matter what you do.

goat-of-mendes · 2018-09-26T17:31:42+00:00

I was in the same situation, but I didn’t leave.

Now I’m trapped.

Don’t be like me, follow your instincts and run.

BloodyNightWing · 2018-09-26T17:06:10+00:00

This is a good place for men's voices to be heard. Your are not alone. We're here reading your rant since you wanted to get it off your chest. As a guy with no kid or wife, How the hell do you deal with that?

rebuildingMyself · 2018-09-26T19:43:51+00:00

The fact that your wife didn't even jump in to chastise the child speaks volumes. You think if your kid said that to her she'd just "grow thicker skin?" Hell no!

She's pitting your own kid (even just passively by NOT punishing bad behavior she agrees with) against you. Having a young child parrot obviously coached replies is solid gold when it comes to divorce-raping a man out of his possessions, fyi.

When I bring up the fact that I see no money that I earn for myself i am an asshole.

Take control of your own finances. Use something like mint.com if you haven't already. You master the tool, you plug it all in, now you're the one in control. Don't ever let your wife control the warchest, especially if it's only you contributing to it.

I am the single income of this family and I really want to walk away today

Means you'll be paying this cunt's bills one way or another for the next 20 years. I'd consult a lawyer and learn just how expensive jettisoning this parasite out of your life (even if just physically) will cost you. It never hurts to know your options, does it.

drqxx · 2018-09-26T18:03:40+00:00

Don't be a fucking pussy be a man.

Your daughter's going to tell you a lot worse. And if you leave, it's going to be a lot worse for her. mgtow is for those who do not have kids. Once you have a kid you no longer can go your own way. Unless you want a life of regret like my father. Hes 55 years old and he cant stop saying sorry and crying around me. He's pathetic.

You already have a kid and if you walk away your kids going to become a whore mark my words.

My daughter said the shit to me. But you know what she also said. "daddy I love you"

Breath deeply and be the oak tree. r/marriedredpill

bama79rolltide · 2018-09-26T17:23:57+00:00

Start checking her ass. Seriously.

xdrunkagainx · 2018-09-26T17:54:37+00:00

Time to go get a pack of cigarettes

Low_Cost_Chimp_Meat · 2018-09-26T21:16:56+00:00

This is 100% learned behavior. Your daughter is innocent. Ask any of the divorced guys around here, when a woman lacks respect for you, it doesn't come back. Her cheating, lying and subsequent divorce comes next. Without the red pill knowledge we are imparting, you would be one of those guys blind-sided when it happens. I wish I had someone explaining the narrative years ago.....but strangely, it follows a script.

You'll see the predictable progression.....start preparing now, because it is going to get WAY worse.

Gingham_Argile · 2018-09-26T20:11:15+00:00

Please fully engage in your Red Pill journey. That gas lighting shame and blame shit has got go or you go.

Take 10% of your income and hide it for a rainy day. Every dollar should have your name on it until the name needs to be changed to divorce lawyer or vacation to Disneyland (daughter and I).

If you want to see more money, your wife is going to have to get a job.

See. Where you've got it twisted is you thought you had authority over a life you have no responsibility for and that life is your wife's life. She is going to do what the fuck she wants to with or without your permission.

She has cast you in the role of a "tool." If you want things to change, then I suggest that you change yourself.

Either of you get to sit back and give up your life just because you have a child. Having a kid or two only means they (kid (s)) are along for the ride until they get their own shit and leave the nest. Of course I am simplifying things.

Again your wife needs to work at least part time and give you the money to manage. If she was good with money she wouldn't bitch you don't make enough.

If you work all day you shouldn't need to lift a finger. That doesn't mean you get to be a slob.

Seems like everone here is focusing on the kid, but the kid isn't the problem.

apugsthrowaway · 2018-09-26T18:58:53+00:00

Sad ... already the woman is weaponizing your kid(s) against you. I really doubt your daughter learned to say such a vindictive thing on her own.

2018-09-26T20:19:51+00:00

If you are being disrespected everyday maybe it would be the best idea to leave. She doesn't love you, nor does she care about you. You're provider and that's it. You should not feel highly about your wife either.

You may be lucky if she cheats, you could divorce if you prove it happened and be free of alimony (if law is just where you live).

BonelessSkinless · 2018-09-26T21:47:08+00:00

The mom is feeding her this rhetoric. Your daughter is THREE. She doesn't go from saying "Dada" to screaming that she hates you overnight and without that thought gleaned from someone that clearly doesn't respect you (your wife). Children are super perceptive and pick up on everything, sadly you're feeling the full brunt of your marriage now. You have to man up and put your wife in her place as well as your daughter. Because your wife's cuntish cold response screams of that too. "You need to grow up" wow Linda, fuck you too.

Alocaco · 2018-09-26T16:52:32+00:00

There are plenty of men who find themselves in the same situation.

I hope you can find away to get rid of the toxic relationship. Some men can't due to finances, or even just fear of the consequences, however, I would suggest that the consequences of staying in that particular situation are far more dangerous to your mental health than remaining in it.

You need to take care of yourself if they don't care about you, and it appears that they don't.

They see you as a wallet, a slave, an inconvenience, and nothing else.

Choose your own path.

Good luck

Robert_Tomko · 2018-09-26T17:00:44+00:00

I live with the same type of woman, who always tries to silence me and tilt the playing field so I have no influence and no voice. Last Saturday I simply gave her the middle finger. Simple and effective without having to say anything, a very telling gesture letting her know where you stand in time and space. There are no right decisions, so the only thing you can do is choose the best wrong option.

Good luck to you and may you find your way through the maze.

Cissnowflake · 2018-09-26T19:20:47+00:00

Super-common. A friend’s daughters would always say “I don’t want you, I want mommy!”

As they got a bit older, one day one came to him and said, “daddy, my sister and I love you. At last.”

They are all super-close now. It was a terrible thing to go though though.

2018-09-26T16:50:46+00:00

It's normal for kids to shit test their parents, but your wife should be sticking up for you and not telling you to "grow up"... sounds like she married you for your resources because if she really respected you she would stick up for you. Sounds like a typical, western culture raised woman, to be honest. Have some comfort in knowing that probably half of husbands if not more would get the same response from their wives in the US. Women only stick up for the dominant/alpha types.

TheLastMgtow · 2018-09-26T17:49:32+00:00

You have daughter. Depending how savage you are i dont know how late it is for you. Guys who marry and have kids will be forever dealing with shit, even if they get to runaway it will pursue them in their heads and hearts. You were tricked.

If im to have kids. Its just make the hoe pop them out and then i runaway. Let some other cuck raise them.

If you decide to leave this, and dont take it lightly because it will break your heart. You are in full right to do so and you have our full support and comprehension. Afterall a man's power in society and a relationship is only as much as is willingness and power to walk away.

Ignore shaming tactics. Everywhere else they will call you coward. Plan when you are leaving minuciously, pack your stuff and escape never look back. It will save you from perhaps a suicide in ten years. Your daughter will understand one day your wife was to blame, if she doesnt then its not worthy it. If you are a family man you can make a build a proper family in the east, with more rights. Or just go and leave as king of yourself. Any other option will be very harmful to you.

thotless_rat_bastard · 2018-09-26T21:26:53+00:00

Your daughter is shit testing you because she has seen your wife do it. Do not underestimate her young mind.

Leave your wife now. The gaslighting and abuse will only get worse. You will only serve as the training model which your wife will use to teach your daughter how to hate men. You have zero chance of a healthy relationship with your daughter as it is now. If you leave now, you have half a chance.

Be__Live44 · 2018-09-26T18:01:24+00:00

This is going to be harsh...but sometimes harsh is needed:

So I am a dad. My daughter is 3 and screamed that she didnt want me. I looked at my wife and her response was grow up and get a thicker skin. I am the single income of this family and I really want to walk away today. I'm disrespected every day and when I bring it up I am made out to be a selfish prick. When I bring up the fact that I see no money that I earn for myself i am an asshole. When I am not working around the house i am a lazy asshole. When I bring up the fact that I see no money that I earn for myself i am an asshole. When I am not working around the house i am a lazy asshole.

I've seen and known guys JUST like you. I've sat and listened to them bitch about their life and poor choices they have made that put them where they are. But they made their own bed - they choose to shit it in and roll around.

Sympathy. Sure. You post here looking to incite a reaction in yourself the same way these guys would pick my brain and agree with me when we talked about their issues. You seek to reach down and reestablish some footing in your own life. But you signed away that power the minute you walked down that aisle.

What did you expect? You followed the same beaten path that many have before you, and your result is far to common to act indignant now. No she is not different, no, your marriage is not special. You signed up for this, and you did it willingly. Now you have to deal with it. It won't be easy, and you'll probably lose a lot in the process, but finally, eventually, one day down the road you'll have your life back.

The alternative? You can be like some of my "Friends" that I had to cut off because they continued deeper down that shitty rabbit hole and became impossible to be around. They further isolated themselves in their crappy marriages - and slowly became a husk of the guy they used to be. Life will go on autopilot and you'll blink twice and wake up at when it's to late.

Your choice - but clearly the status quo isn't going to end well for you.

Tough love brother. Good Luck.

2018-09-26T18:58:54+00:00

It was the same with me, I was getting up at 0430am to go to work and pay all the bills, at 0440 I open the tap water to drink some water. The sound of the tap woke her up and she started screaming like crazy, in the middle of the night she got up and she charge me. Slapping me in the face... calling me a trash husband...

I cancel everything and stop supporting her and deport her ass back in China.

You need healthy boundaries, You should not have to come here to vent on this, your wife should respect you and your daughter need proper education. If you can't get the respect you deserve, TALK ABOUT IT WITH YOUR WIFE. If she keep doing it, well you freaking leave.

Renzolol · 2018-09-26T19:16:44+00:00

Sorry but I agree with your wife. Your daughter is fucking 3. Get the fuck over it.

The other stuff you're right about.

t353tfb · 2018-09-26T20:52:03+00:00

I'm a parent but my kids are in their 20s now. I wouldn't worry about anything a 3 year old says. Just be a rock for her and she will see you for what you are in the end. (Or maybe not, but you will still have done your best). Your wife on the other hand needs to be taken down a peg or two. Cut off the money and attention to her to her until she starts to act nice again. After that, don't let her get so damn comfortable again or she'll soon be acting out like she is now.

Iamverydrunknow · 2018-09-26T23:31:03+00:00

children, cats, and women are on the same level. dont expect anything. you'll get more respect and cooperation from a dog.

iwanttheblanketback · 2018-09-26T19:34:44+00:00

I remember both of my kids cycling between Mommy or Daddy being their favorite in the preschool years. When you were the favorite they wanted only you to do stuff for them or with them. They used to get in between their Mom and I to stop us from holding hands. It was tiring both ways. Never a moments rest or always avoided.

They do say some strange and even disturbing things at that age.

hottake_toothache · 2018-09-26T19:53:04+00:00

I'm really sorry you are feeling that way. But let whatever your 3-year-old daughter said roll off your skin. Toddlers are stupid--kids get so much better as they grow up.

void_magic · 2018-09-26T21:01:35+00:00

It's only going to get worse, your wife is probably talking bad about you when you are at work.

Pk_s_to_the_yizzle · 2018-09-26T21:04:38+00:00

If you were Black, you'd already be gone.

Honestly, she is screaming at you FOR ATTENTION.

Women LIE about EVERYTHING RIGHT?

Take the LEAD and show your daughter that you love her, and UNLESS YOU GO AWAY SOMETIMES, there will be no ice cream, tv, lights, etc.

Let here know that you do it all for her.

Have fun with her, get some ice cream, and then go to bed.

TheDrunkSemaphore · 2018-09-26T21:14:05+00:00

You got one life to lead. Be your own leader.

helaughsinhidden · 2018-09-26T21:29:29+00:00

Two books for you OP.

https://www.amazon.com/When-Say-No-Feel-Guilty/dp/0553263900

and

https://www.amazon.com/No-More-Mr-Nice-Guy/dp/0762415339

GOOD LUCK!

misanthropeoftheday · 2018-09-26T21:34:23+00:00

If you leave you'll lose the house and you'll have to pay child support and alimony for a LONG time.

Avaoln · 2018-09-26T21:50:43+00:00

OP,

Hang in there, kids are tough. I know cuz I used to be one! Things will get better though.

As with you wife it’s a judgment call- what’s her personality like? I see two paths:

1) open up. Tell her this is serious, and talk to her. work things out.

2) decide if you want to separate, if so DONT say anything yet but start looking into lawyers and separate your money ( bank acc. in your name alone! ). Be ready for the legal battle ( statistically- you are probably going to have less custody than her and have to pay alimony).

oh and for fun here a 3rd option- a little less reasonable:

take a vacation but plan it out so it’s abrupt and tell you wife you got fired. Tell her that you are fed up and ask her if she’s willing to job hunt while you take care of the kiddo. If you can convince her she will probably realize it is not as easy as it seems. Also try to become the fun parent ( let your wife scold your daughter- and you try to only reward good behavior) this will also change the dynamic and help her see your side of the story.

Good luck!

genethedog · 2018-09-26T21:53:40+00:00

That's fucking tough brother. We know that 2-4 year olds can be cranky and emotional and manipulative, but your wife should have admonished the girl, not you. She basically threw a "man up" at you.

Both of them feel they 'have you'. They are your dependents and they know it. This causes some resentment but the female mind turns that into a shit test as if to see how much you 'need' them by testing how much shit you will take from and for them.

As a man, you naturally go 'I can take it' but the fact that you didn't like it doesn't mean you can't take it, it means you don't want too. Your instincts and alarms going off in your head are correct. There's something wrong.

Jordan Peterson says you should never allow your kids to do anything that makes you not like them. By establishing standards and boundaries, no matter how much it hurts or how much you want to avoid the confrontation by chalking it up to 'kids will be kids' but that kind of abuse will not just stop at one.

Next time, remember this, pull it out and make a stand. When you correct your daughter, your wife will step in to 'save her' by acting like you're being outrageous and dangerous and over-reacting.

This WILL BE your last year with them if everything goes to plan. There are 4 main times you are at risk of having the mom pull the plug on you.

Right away (like within 6 months of the birth).
If you make it past that, you have until the kid is 4. This is a primary time where the kid is viable and the need for the 'mothering' begins to drop and the wife starts to consider how to make her exit and have you on the hook for the next 14 years.

-If you make it past that, at year 10 of your relationship, things will sour but everyone is so used to things the way they are, they may not make a move because of the routine of it all, but at the same time, the routine has her wondering 'is there life out there'.

Finally, when your kid is in their teenage years and your wife wants another kid to focus her attention on and excuse herself from going out and getting a job or she feels 'my job is done here' and leaves to find another guy. This depends on how old she will be when the kid is in her late teens. If she's over 45 when that will happen, you're pretty safe from her leaving but she may very well cheat. If she's not even 35, forget it, she's gone.

Start planning over the next year. Sock some money away. suck it up and sacrifice what little surplus you have for yourself and sock it away in case the storm comes.

I know you're busy, but write this stuff down if you can find the time. It will be very useful to you later on if she acts like you're the asshole. Even if it's just for your peace of mind (to avoid her gaslighting) it will be valuable, and you never know, it could be something that comes up in court.

EDIT: OH, and Jordan Peterson also point out that if your kid isn't properly socialized b the time the are 4, they will be pretty messed up their whole lives. he doesn't say exactly how, but were talking Cluster B personality Disorders.

DWShimoda · 2018-09-27T00:49:37+00:00

My daughter is 3 and screamed that she didnt want me.

Gee... I wonder where she learned THAT from?

I mean you do realize that at around age 3 she's really just engaged in saying things that she doesn't comprehend, a sort of 'quasi-parroting' kind of thing.

karben14 · 2018-09-27T02:22:09+00:00

Forget what the child said. You need to prepare and implement your exit strategy from this sham relationship and get away with your wealth and sanity. Maybe start with a paternity test.

2018-09-27T06:31:10+00:00

Good old friend of mine got divorced about a year ago... and their daughter? Yep, given to a whore of an ex-wife. At least he gets to see her once in a while. Now, the guy is your typical tough mofo who doesn't fuck around, not so much a type who seems to be emotionally senstitive, at least on the surface. Still, I've noticed something once when she paid him a visit in his own house out of ex's mercy when I was coincidentially there as well. When she showed up, her face was sad and grumpy but when she left it's like you couldn't make a girl any more happy. Sure, she threw a few temper tantrums here and there (what kind of a child doesn't) when she didn't get her way but they were on the level for the most part. Maybe she values a strong father figure and subconsciously realizes that her mother will raise her into the same piece of shit she is.

oldmanlogan76 · 2018-09-27T08:38:02+00:00

I frequently have to remind my girlfriend to not use disrespecting language towards me. I'm amazed that i have to remind her at all but i do, often.

Sometimes i switch some words around and repeat back what she said to me, and then it seems to sink in how inappropriate it was and she apologizes profusely.

My whole life i have insisted that everyone talks to me in a respectful manner. My mother, father, sister, boss, strangers it doesn't matter. Talk to me like i'm a human or i will set my food down hard.

The only one who gets away with being an asshole to me is my best friend cause i know he would never intentionally try to put me down.

avtarius · 2018-09-27T09:00:57+00:00

Wife should've defended you.
Wife should've corrected your daughter, sternly.

Sounds like she hasn't been doing her job while you have.

CursingWhileNursing · 2018-09-27T09:50:24+00:00

The one with the really disgusting behaviour is not your daughter, but your wife and, in general, society.

Your daughter is three, she has no real idea what impact those words might have. But of course those words still do hurt and your wife should have said something along the lines of "Don't take it to the heart honey, she said things like this to me as well, blabla...", but what she did say only shows that she gives a fuck about your feelings. She just needs you to be operational and gives a fuck how you do it or how you feel.

This is what the infamous "midlife crisis" actually is... a man in his 40s eventually stopping to think with his genitals and realising that he gave up his dreams and hopes and freedom in order to provide for a family that all too often just gives a shit about the providers well being apart from him staying operational and keeping to provide.

And when that man then decides to get that car he is dreaming of since he was a boy or to make that trip he always wanted to make, but is postponing now for decades, he gets stigmatized as someone with some form on mental illness in order to get him back into the plantation.

cyborg_type_darkness · 2018-09-27T10:50:53+00:00

DNA test?

Chill-BL · 2018-09-27T13:29:14+00:00

time to withdraw affection to a minimum. (dunno the laws so I hope you won't get a domestic abuse slapped on you for bullshit).

But when the love doesn't get reciprocated, the love doesn't need to be spread until it's once again wanted/needed, thats when you start making demands.

I_like_PnutButter · 2018-09-26T17:28:07+00:00

[deleted]

IsThisNameAvailable8 · 2018-09-26T17:47:45+00:00

What happened before that.

Sneakybobo · 2018-09-26T18:05:24+00:00

When I was 3 I told my dad to get out because "I don't love you". Actually it was because he was always kissing my cheeks with his spiky beard and I hated it. He took it personal but I just wanted to tell him I didn't like when he came around because of his behavior.

What I want to say is: don't take too personal what your 3 year old kid tells you. That being said, you should expect respect and support from your wife at least.

ReflexOrigins · 2018-09-26T18:08:31+00:00

Wtf? RUN RUN RUN

Yashugan00 · 2018-09-26T18:11:26+00:00

Not ok, kids test your boundaries and will keep pushing until you draw the line. Make the line clear, make it extremely clear to your wife that parenting is a 2 way street and you need her to back you up. No it's no buts. Don't give her an ultimatum, but allow no nay saying. This is how they get you, and how you end up being despised by your own family: death by a thousand small cuts. Nagging, disrespect .. it creeps up on you, till you don't recognise yourself anymore in the reflection of your own family.

moparoo2017 · 2018-09-26T19:00:50+00:00

Look up every video of Patrice O’Neal on the opie and Jim norton show! He will guide you! Listen to his words and follow them! Since you have a child unfortunately leaving is obviously the last resort for your sanity, but no female attitude is too much to handle. Be strong and firm, and most importantly be indifferent. A woman will never leave a man that is indifferent to her. She will only leave if she has the power to break your will. You are bigger and stronger than she is there is nothing she can do to hurt you. The worst thing she can do is leave. Which is what she will threaten you with. When she does this threat you have won cause all you need to say is. Go ahead I really don’t care. This will break her. This will destroy her ego. Tell her to leave and good luck taking care of herself and the child without you. As soon as you stop letting her attitude affect your emotions she has no power over you and she will fall in line.

2018-09-26T19:45:47+00:00

Kids are immature and say stupid shit. Don’t let it get to you.

The wife should be more supportive. If you are thinking about leaving then start documenting stuff she does that could be considered abuse. You can also send email or text messages to your trusted buddies where you express any concerns you have about her fitness as a mother and her alinaition of the kid against you. That will prove you’re not making shit up at the last minute.

If you’re going to stay then grow some balls and take back control of your finances. Spend your money on yourself and she gets what’s left.

I_like_PnutButter · 2018-09-26T19:52:31+00:00

[removed]

KrustyKrabReject · 2018-09-26T20:04:00+00:00

You should probably check out married red pill. You already fucked up with he whole wife thing. Either bite the bullet with divorce...you’ll get fucked... or try to improve your situation.

MSP_Generalist · 2018-09-26T20:09:57+00:00

Your kid's being weaponized against you.

I'm done.

If only it were that simple.

I know you're venting... many of us have been there.

I see plenty of good advice here. Take your time, decide what you need to do, and do it.

omg_ppl_are_stupid · 2018-09-26T20:10:24+00:00

Honestly, i'm with her on this one.... do not be offended by a three year olds actions, if mom spends the majority of time with her, she's going to want her. This is just a fact of children. I have two boys, 4 and 7.... the 4 year old still clings more to mom, the 7 year old used to when he was 4. Now that he's getting older and helping out dad more, he clings to me more. It's just the preference of the kid at the time. Especially little girls.... she will be all over you soon enough. Trust me.

Adams290218 · 2018-09-26T20:48:00+00:00

If you ain't seeing any of your money when you bust your ass at work then there is something wrong. You decide what money they get and you decide what money you keep its as simple as that. I would rather be unemployed than see none of my hard earned cash for myself.

Mennetwork1 · 2018-09-26T21:22:32+00:00

I feel your pain, what I have learned from my previous relationships is that I was not allowed to have feelings. Definitely not going to tell you what to do but what I will say is don't let 5 or 10 years go by and leave you filled with regret. Look at all your options financially, emotionally, health wise and then make a decision. Your well being should be your top priority at this point. I wish you the best

Itisforsexy · 2018-09-26T21:49:35+00:00

I am terribly sorry for you.

Do you have any control over your finances? I'd start planning for a divorce now if I were you, stocking away some physical cash. You'll still declare this on your financial disclosure forms if it goes to court, but this way if she makes up BS claims and they freeze your assets, you'll still be able to pay for an attorney.

The life you currently live is not one I'd wish on my worst enemy. To be supporting people who resent you, hate you even... no. Don't go that. In another decade you'll go for a swim and won't come back. Save yourself.

Hollow_Soul_ · 2018-09-26T21:51:04+00:00

Honest advise, set ground rules for them BOTH, hold onto your money before giving it to your wife and daughter, make her earn the bill that you pay every month. Then for the daughter, reward her when she does good but make sure you punish her when she steps out of line. I said to my father when I was 4 "I don't have to listen to you" and he let me have it for that, and it helped me in the end. These females gotta learn from a young age to respect men equally and respect that you didn't have to do half the stuff you've done for them. Hopefully this helped you in some ways, struggling fathers are pretty much one foot in the grave

Magnar96 · 2018-09-26T21:57:33+00:00

Take control of your finances, it'll be more effort on your part, dealing with taxes and whatnot but worth it I think.

mu_mikami · 2018-09-26T22:05:31+00:00

do you pass enough time with your daughter? probably she wants to play with his father and he has not time for her.

I-spy90 · 2018-09-26T22:06:03+00:00

These are the times to affect your daughter's future completely. I'm sure wife isn't helping ease the hassle you are going through making bread for everyone.

mukesh_sxs · 2018-09-26T22:09:49+00:00

Hey man I remember saying something like that to my father when I was 10, now I am 24 and I respect my father a lot. I turned out fine. My point is dont worry about your daughter, try and connect with her by spending time with her. Also glad to know people in this subreddit are nice and giving really helpful suggestions.

Liberalism_Disease · 2018-09-26T22:26:34+00:00

Dude when my daughter was two she said all kinds of shit, by the time she was 6 I was Superman, till 12 I was respected, after 12 good luck. They start picking up pop culture shit. Thankfully my daughter turned out alright, (akin to a RPW) just hang there mate it’ll turn out alright (provided the mom is NOT A PSYCHOTIC BITCH)

AppalachianBeerGuy · 2018-09-26T22:38:13+00:00

PM if you'd like. My daughter is 19, just told me the same and I've had primary custody for 8 years. I remember well when my children were young and, in hindsight, am wise to the tactics of BPD mothers. MGTOW fathers always wish we could do or have done more to impact our children. I can offer advice and understanding, for what it's worth.

Godspeed

I_like_PnutButter · 2018-09-26T22:38:27+00:00

[deleted]

buff_minorcan · 2018-09-27T00:20:48+00:00

You did this to yourself. We thank you for your example.

2018-09-27T00:37:32+00:00

You are delusional to think you can just walk away. Child support and alimony police will find you anywhere in the country, bro. You have no opinions, except maybe dumping money into bitcoin and disappearing into dirty streets of Pattaya.

deathtocontrollers · 2018-09-27T01:37:06+00:00

Sounds like your wife manipulated your daughter into hating you.

KaitouNala · 2018-09-27T01:48:05+00:00

put some aside, get a ticket jump country work elsewhere, do not marry again.

2018-09-27T01:52:37+00:00

Kids say dumb shit. Don't think too much of it until you see this behavior again. It may have been a one-off thing.

If you really do feel underappreciated, I'd encourage you to sit and think on it for a while. It sounds like finances are tough. Take control of your family's finances, especially if you are the breadwinner. Do whatever it takes. If there's gas in the cars and groceries in the house, there's no reason for your wife to spend money on a fucking thing on the day-to-day. I think this will ease a lot of tension for you, even if it does present conflict when you first tighten down on the spending. There's just no good reason to be pissing money away on junk.

In addition to tightening down, buy yourself something. Take yourself out, or take your family out with you if you're feeling generous. Sounds like you've really been grinding and not taking the time to enjoy the fruits of your labor. It is your labor, after all. It's comical to think that anyone else should have domain over your finances. Enjoy yourself, and then clamp down on the spending at home.

It sounds like there's conflict whenever you pursue your own path, rather than doing what the wife wants. I've got bad news for you. If you don't accept the conflict head on, you'll eventually fall to it when it sneaks up behind you. Take the initiative and just smash through whatever bullshit she tries to give you.

If using your words isn't effective, just start making moves. Move less money from your bank account to the family account so that there's just enough to run the house. No luxuries, that's what you provide and you're checking out. Generally stop doing shit around the house until it's on the verge of falling apart. Or take the opposite approach, literally do everything yourself and show your wife just how you'd fare without her.

Literally live like you're single and you'll generally avoid this sort of BS. And seriously, don't worry about your kid so much. I know that must be a rough thing to hear, but who knows where it came from. Testing boundaries, heard someone being sassy on a tv show, who knows. Don't sweat it unless it is repeated behavior.

TommyNicotine · 2018-09-27T02:18:35+00:00

I feel bad for you, brother, but what's worse is the fact that you're not going anywhere. you're just going to put up with it, likely to appease your or her mother (another woman with her heel on your jugular vein). You're not going anywhere. You're too concerned about what folks will say. I feel bad, I went trough a similar thing with a niece who had no one else doing a thing to help her...hopefully others who read this will learn from your mistake.

Blogginginvicecity · 2018-09-27T02:26:49+00:00

Aw shit man, good luck with that man. You should vent regularly if you think it helps you out. That's a whole rabbit hole to go down. I'm interested to see what these other comments say

Themad7 · 2018-09-27T02:26:52+00:00

I understand how you feel but don't blame it on your kid she's still 3 and hopefully with age and no manipulation from the mother she will come to appreate what you did for them.

I used to be married. I used to he the single income too. 16 hours a day and not a single thank you for the work I put while she drank away my money.

No one is worth your work other than your family. Family are those who previously provided for you and your kids. for me a wife can never be part of "family" not anymore.

Roastie_haiku_bot · 2018-09-27T02:33:07+00:00

Jump on a train, and change your name. The abuse will only get worse.

binkerfluid · 2018-09-27T02:41:50+00:00

Kids always say this shit, its very hard to hear. They dont really mean it though, they are just angry or hurt themselves.

jonathino001 · 2018-09-27T03:23:04+00:00

I'm done.

Are you actually done, or are you just gonna keep on living like this because you're afraid of change?

LJHova · 2018-09-27T03:46:51+00:00

Walk away

CodeDaniel · 2018-09-27T04:04:49+00:00

Keep a good relationship with your child. She is only 3. Start putting little money away so that your wife doesnt notice...

Garland_Key · 2018-09-27T04:23:00+00:00

Bro, don't let these mgtow fucks screw you up. You signed up for this, now man the fuck up. Live a double life and provide solely for yourself by doing whatever dirt you think you'd be good at - that is my expert advice.

^{^{^{^{^{^{^/jk}}}}}}

idrinkconcentratedoj · 2018-09-27T05:05:09+00:00

Just wait till she hits puberty

DeIphinium · 2018-09-27T05:19:10+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that.

HunterDr · 2018-09-27T05:40:30+00:00

Don't worry about your daughter man. I remember when I was a kid I would say this to my father (I'm a dude btw) but I never meant it. Hell, I respect my old man to this day and he knows that and even brings it up sometimes and laughs about it now.

ExcitingAccountnat · 2018-09-27T06:39:23+00:00

As a bluepilled betacuck, I'm sure you don't want my opinion but I'm going to give it anyway. First off, I wouldn't wish an emotionally abusive relationship on my worst enemies and if that's what's happening then you should try your best to get out. That said it's important to always be objective.

As some guys have pointed out, your daughter is 3 and doesn't really understand what she's saying. Your wife wasn't tactful in saying you need thicker skin, but it sounds like in that regard, she was kinda right. I'm curious as to what exactly you want her to do when her daughter has a need and wants her mom (the primary caretaker) instead of you. Or perhaps you simply didn't like her saying get thicker skin. Have you brought this up to her in a non-accusatory way (ie "when you tell me to grow thicker skin it makes me feel like you don't care about my feelings" NOT "you always dismiss my feelings")?

Regarding housework, how much of it do you do? No doubt everyone else on this sub will say you shouldn't lift a finger because you work. Well as a stay at home mom, your wife has a full time job. She just doesn't get paid for it. Now again, I don't know your situation. Maybe you try your best to do your share and she's just being abusive or maybe she has a legit grievance.

Money is fun because it causes conflicts in all couples. Is she taking that money you earn and spending it on shoes and giving you nothing for yourself? How much is left after rent, food, utilities, insurance, & other childcare related expenses?

Again for all I know, she could be hoarding all the money and emotionally abusing you, in which case divorce is your best option, yes you'll likely pay child support and alimony but I know plenty of guys who've been divorced and didn't become homeless. On the other hand, maybe the situation is salvageable. Have you considered marriage counseling? If so, have you brought it up to your wife? I know you didn't want to hear this but maybe some blue-pilled reasoning might just save your marriage. Now if you'll excuse me, my soy-latte is ready.

Faryshta · 2018-09-27T06:39:53+00:00

what do you do for living?

Ohboohoolittlegirl · 2018-09-27T08:08:17+00:00

Your wife probably planted these words.. 3 year olds mimick what they hear and she probably heard those words and realized it hurts you. Kids are like that

Browser2025 · 2018-09-27T08:23:22+00:00

Kids at that age say stupid shit all the time it has no true meaning. At this point you appear too far in the marriage to leave cleanly. You're the only income so there would definitely be alimony and child support.

ZeroZeroQuatre · 2018-09-27T09:42:17+00:00

Read about "parental alienation" (and "Parental Alienation Syndrome"), you may find a couple of informations, good advices and tools to deal with the situation.

It is a form of child abuse and can be quite revealing about a threatening NPD/BPD mother, and this should really worry you.

Either way, tread lightly.

EHXKOR · 2018-09-27T09:48:34+00:00

Honestly you should just walk off. You’re the only one keeping them afloat. Definitely get yourself some legal advice so you can leave your marriage losing as few assets as possible

wisdomo · 2018-09-27T10:36:29+00:00

I hope by you saying you're done that you're really done. Screw that bs. You don't deserve that.

robowriter · 2018-09-27T11:28:04+00:00

It's the Mom.

Mr_Lonesome · 2018-09-27T11:30:50+00:00

Sad to hear this. A while back I posted asking MGTOW Fathers of daughters can AWALT be prevented? Their conclusion was a resounded no. But do the best you can though.

Baldrbaldr · 2018-09-27T13:18:15+00:00

Yes. You're done. Cut loose. Divorce. Block. Ghost. Save yourself.

shellbross · 2018-09-27T13:56:10+00:00

Quit your job. The wife problem will solve itself.

wutc · 2018-09-27T14:00:19+00:00

Your daughter's just a young kid misbehaving.

Your wife, on the other hand, is an ungrateful, worthless bitch.

IronMeltsinmyHands · 2018-09-27T14:37:43+00:00

Your bitch wife doesn’t respect you. Prepare yourself for divorce.

Who the fuck says such a thing? Honestly. She has zero interest in you and doesn’t care how your daughter sees you.

Your bitch wife can go to hell.

IsAfraidOfGirls · 2018-10-06T05:49:30+00:00

Oh god nothing would be worse than having a kid and having it turn out to be a fucking female. Holly shit then some guys go and try again and get another female. I would literally disappear to some other country and leave the whole family at that point.

Willihard · 2018-09-26T17:34:21+00:00

Your daughters brain is about as developed as her play dough. Don’t take it seriously. Slap your wife if she gets out of line, then your daughter will know her place.

Title	My daughter screamed out that she didnt want me...
Author	I_like_PnutButter
Upvotes	503
Comments	230
Date	September 26, 2018 4:36 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/9j4529/my_daughter_screamed_out_that_she_didnt_want_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/my-daughter-screamed-out-that-she-didnt-want-me.485507 https://theredarchive.com/post/485507

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GOOD LUCK!