Summary: Discussing the "mysterious" guy phenomenon, flaking, and how a woman's hamster is your best tool to getting into her.
Girls will find lots of different ways to dress up a flake. It will normally come packaged as "Sorry I can't do today I feel kinda sick and I got a test tomorrow", sometimes they've "had a death in the family", sometimes they "have lots of work to do" or "are tired from work" sometimes "their car is playing up" or "dog is ill".
Regardless, a girl who is lazy and unreliable will come up with multiple different fabrications in order to skip out on meeting you. She needs to keep up appearances and feed her cognitive dissonance that she's a good, trustworthy girl. Reliable people don't flake out on plans made with their friends or a guy, but sometimes life just gets in the way you know?
Except for these girls, life just keeps getting in the way of meeting you.
You need to start picking up on what is a flake or what isn't. Sometimes it's true, something really did come up that means she can't see you that night, but these are much rarer than you think. People, especially girls, don't have lives as exciting or varied as you imagine they do in your head. Accidents do happen, but not at the rate the average excuse-maker likes to think they do.
And if a girl has a date booked with a guy she likes, chances are that will be the highlight of her week and she's been thinking about it every day leading up to it, she's already picked out her outfit.
If a girl really wants to see you, she'll get over her dead grandma and leave that assignment undone in order to drive the 20 miles to your place. A girl who is head over heels for a guy will jump any obstacle to get the chance just to see his penis again.
I'd say 9/10 flake excuses are absolute bogus. Girls who come up with an excuse to not see you are telling you two things:
1) She is still a good girl and "reliable" and it's just not her fault she can't see you today. This is an effort to keep up appearances, have plausible deniability, and feed her female solipsism, she can’t be a bad person for flaking, it’s just out of her control! The problem is, she can't be upfront about what the real reason is which is:
2) You no longer give her the tingles enough that she can be bothered to see you. She's vetted you, assessed you and decided you aren't good enough.
Realise this now.
Girls do not flake on guys they are attracted to.
The thought of disappointing or letting down a Chad, or an Alpha guy they are really into, is mortifying for the average girl.
Their sole aim is to impress this guy enough that he chooses her to stick around with him. That he picks her over the countless other girls courting him at that moment.
Girls understand abundance mentality and understand that a top-tier guy has options. If she flakes on him, she will be replaced by the next thot who was ready and available.
Girls do not let down guys they are trying to impress. They are on their best behaviour. It’s like flaking on an important job interview, no one does it, even if their grandma died that morning.
So where does that put us?
If she flakes on you, more than once, it means you've blown it.
It means she's decided that you're the kind of guy she can skip out on because
a) She isn't attracted enough to try and impress you anymore
b) She knows you don't have any other options so you'll stick around anyway
c) She's come to a conclusion on who you are and where you stand in her own social hierarchy
Thus, she's stopped trying her best to stay in your good books. She knows that flaking is lame and that you'll probably be mad at her. She doesn't care. You aren't Chad anymore and the only guy she wants to impress is Chad.
We've all experienced the 180 flip from a girl who thought we were cool and alpha and did all they could to keep us happy, to when she realises you're none of those things and actually kind of lame and then bam suddenly it's like meeting a different woman.
There's a reason for this:
Girls project an aura of mystery around guys they know nothing about, and they assume the best.
The less a girl knows about you, the more attractive you are to her.
This is because her hamster likes to spin any unknowable facts about you into good qualities. The more she has to wonder about your life, the more she assumes you've got your shit together, have a large group of friends, are always busy, and are banging multiple other girls.
In fact we all kind of do this, by default we assume strangers are more competent or better than we are. Our own inferiority complex and insecurity makes us assume that every new person we meet is cooler or doing better in life than we are, if we see a stranger doing something "odd" (like turning up in the wrong dress code for example) we don't automatically assume they're stupid or making a mistake, we first wonder if maybe there's something we're missing and that we're the ones who are mistaken. We assume the best, rather than the worst.
Women do this too, at a much greater level. They pedestalise every hot guy into demi-gods. They get giggly and submissive and cutesy around these guys because they assume these guys are vastly superior to them.
You'll notice this the first time you get into a new girls pants, it's nearly always the best, most animal fuck, because she sees you as absolutely above her in every way, and is trying her hardest to satisfy the superior man.
And as you fuck her more and more you'll realise that her investment and enthusiasm slowly diminishes, why is this, what’s changed?
She's got to know you better. And as she's done so, she's come to realise you are nothing like the idealised version of you that she's come up with in her head.
And the more she realises this, the less attracted she is to you. Eventually you'll figure out that she was attracted to the ideal version of you she'd hamstered into existence, and ideal that you could never accomplish.
And you'll start realising this with every girl you fuck, they expect you to be so much more than you actually are. They don't have a solid grasp of reality, they don't realise that the guys they are attracted to are just normal dudes on the inside. They see this big muscled alpha who passes all her shit tests but they never consider the fact that he farts and sometimes gets pimples and has depressed days and his friend group is actually quite small. And when they do, well the attraction fades.
Beauty in Perfection
To put it simply, they want you to be perfect, they want you to adhere to the image they have of you in their head, they want you to essentially be the man of their dreams. In a literal sense. Only the man of their dreams is enough, and when they realise you aren't him, you're nexted. You're flaked on. She flips from submissive and available to "just tolerating you".
Now we know she will never actually find "the man of her dreams" and will eventually settle on some beta shmuck once she hits the wall. This is the plight of the modern woman. Their standards are so inflated that no man can ever reach them, and this is because the standards for each woman are vastly different and vastly changing according to her own whims and “the grass is always greener” hypothesis. Have a strong bulky, masculine blue collar father for her children, lust after a millionaire, have a guy who makes lots of money, complain he doesn’t spend enough time with her and cheat with Jamal from the gas station; deep, mysterious guitar playing band member, “hasn’t grown up” and needs to “get a real job”.
Women, even those who have met a decent mate who used to live up to her standards, will always lust after more. They always want better. They are qualifiers and consumers and they will never really know what a super good deal to settle for is, they will always want the next best thing, the next rung on the ladder. They will lust after perfection until the moment they realise they have diminished bargaining power, and then they will begrudgingly settle for less than what they could have achieved before.
Let’s not also forget the media programming of women to lust after celebrities, billionaires and stoic alphas they see in the movies. Our society objectifies men into “Success Objects”, and women are attracted to the success, but they don’t really understand the true sweat and hardship needed to achieve that success, they don’t like to see how the sausage is made, and they are turned off by any sign of weakness, any slip up.
Cracks in the Armour
Show any weakness, any imperfection to a girl, and you will get a mental black mark in her head. Women treat frame-breaking, pussying out, being broke, anything “embarrassing” as mortal sins. They want the perfect man, and every slip up from the act you have to put on shatters that image of “perfect” she’s created in her head, and also pisses her off because she feels like she got swindled; she put so much effort into this guy she thought was the winning formula, only to see him lose his job or pussy out from a challenge. Women completely overvalue weak moments and focus on them much harder than any of the attractive things about you, Briffaults law comes into play.
You could be masculine, hench, charming, witty, foot the bill, sweep her off her feet, but if you trip on the doorframe as you leave the restaurant; ALL of that is shattered. The façade of perfection has been broken, and any past attraction she had to you is overshadowed by that big glaring mistake that she will use to take you down a peg.
Keep making mistakes and eventually you have a ghost or a flake. Once she realises you aren’t the perfect man of her dreams, she will move on and start testing the net guy. Women have abundance mentality and they do not waste time with guys they have already deemed imperfect. They know that if they drop quick and move on, the next guy might meet the standard.
You will never be able to meet up to the standards of your plates or girlfriend even if you are pure Alpha Bucks, this is impossible because their standards are always changing, always too high and they dehumanise men into success objects to the point that they are not allowed to have any flaws.
It’s impossible for us to have no flaws, but women, especially hot women, do not understand this. They want to find that one magical, perfect guy who has no flaws and they want that guy to swoop in, make her a princess and live happier ever after. At heart, women fantasise about these ideal situations and ideal guys, just like children; you will find few who are rational enough to understand the struggles, hardships and imperfections of the modern man (but there definitely are some).
If you want to get a general idea of what the ideal for a woman is, look no further than "Fifty Shades of Grey". Even if you're a college Chad on the football team with a string of honies following you, well, you ain't a multi-billionaire and she'll secretly judge you for that.
Combating the problem
Her goal in "getting to know you" is to find out who you really are. She is trying to build a general idea of what you are, what you do, who you know, what your frame is like, where you're placed on her rating scale, and what your imperfections are so that she has an excuse to drop you for “the next best thing*.
Her power comes from what she knows. She can only work with the information given. So there’s one easy way to win her game; control the information she has. The less she knows about you, the more she has to guess, the more she has to idealise, the more she has to pedestalise.
If she knows little about you, she won’t know your weakness. She will start filling up the gaps with her own imagination. She will start imagining you as much cooler than what you really are (she does this because her solipsism doesn’t allow her to think that she is crushing on a loser, this mysterious guy she has the hots for must be awesome).
The more information about you that you give her, the more she has to disqualify you with. The less you give her, the more she idealises you into something better, as Rollo Tomassi says (paraphrased): “A woman’s hamster is the best tool of attraction you can use”.
Keep her guessing. Always. Make her always be wondering where you are, who you’re with, what you’re doing. You could be in your basement watching anime, she doesn’t know that, she assumes you’re off at some high-profile event with girls hotter than her. You could have the most dull, monotonous job ever, but if you refuse to talk about it, she starts wondering if you’re some CIA agent or secret business billionaire. Never tell her how much you make or what you really do (unless it’s impressive), and even then hold back on the details. Don’t let her into your friendship circle, don’t let her meet your family, don’t tell her about your life story and childhood and exes. Every scrap of information you give her exposes you as the imperfect human being you are to her, and for her, that’s not enough. She will use all this as ammunition to eventually discount you.
“Oh his friends are kind of lame and he’s a Trump supporter and still not really over his ex and he seems pretty disposable and low-ranking at work…. Etc etc etc”. Do not have long conversations with her over text or even in person. You might think it makes you sound smart and you’re impressing her, but really she’s thinking “this guy talks too much and is too passionate about boring shit and he’s telling me all this, why is he wasting time with me doesn’t he have better things to do?”
The most attractive word a woman can hear coming out of your mouth is “busy”.
Your life does not revolve around her, the less she can get her claws into your personal goings on, the more interested she is in you. If you are too busy for her all the time, she will go crazy trying to get into your pants. If you only ever communicate with her to set up meets, she will blow up your phone and social media constantly, if you’re always kicking her out after fucking because you got shit to do, she will go wild trying her hardest to see you again and again and again.
The more she knows about you, the less attracted she is to you. It’s simple. Women love mysterious men. They can’t make their mind up on the guy yet, they haven’t seen his flaws and weaknesses, they overhype the strengths, and the guy seems perfect to them. The only way you can be Mr Right for a woman is to be dark and mysterious.
How do we incorporate this into game:
When Opening a Girl
Do not divulge too much information. Do not show off. Get her to ask questions of you, don’t just spill the beans outright. Don’t linger or hang around too long, always “be in a rush”, always “have somewhere to be”. Look busy, look important. Don’t try and impress her, get her to try and impress you, remember, you are the prize. Close quickly and then leave. Don’t text her straight away, wait a day or two. Always seem “busy” and like you have a faster paced life than hers.
Plates are disposable, treat them as such. They aren’t girlfriends and they are not there to be your emotional support, or your personal diary. Don’t rant at them, don’t talk to them about your politics or ideologies, and don’t tell them about your friends and family and work. Mention hobbies or interesting bits of information but only on a surface level. Always be too busy for them, kick them out after you’re done, ignore their texts sometimes. If they ask to meet up and you’re free, pretend you’re “too busy” anyway. Make the meetings on your terms. She needs to get this idea that you have shit going on outside of her and she’s just a side part of your life. She will be attracted to this, this is what women want to see. My go to strategy with plates is stories. If they want to know something about me I’ll tell her stories about stupid shit my friends and I got up to and it satisfies her projection hamster. “Yeah one time when we were in Rimini we ended up in this weird Italian club where everyone knew the Italian songs and dances and we felt like such outsiders” or “you think the beer here is cheap, you should see Prague, cheap way to get drunk”. If you can name drop people or places and then never talk about them again these girls think you’re incredibly interesting and have done a lot of shit.
Dread game is your friend here, and as they say “comfort kills attraction”. You never want your LTR to get too comfortable with you or “fully understand” you. Of course she will get a lot of information out of you because she’s the closest woman to you, but you can still be dynamic. Always be cultivating new hobbies, new friends, new business idea. Never stagnate. Ignore her, sudden phone silence, busy days. Don’t let the relationship get boring, always be starting new things, new dramas, keep that engine fuelled. As soon as you settle out and stagnate, that’s when she starts to wonder. Keeping yourself busy, occupied and silent will keep her guessing. Guessing is the biggest aphrodisiac .She will think you’re at parties with super models and Saudi bankers. She’ll fuck you like she did when she was trying to impress you at the beginning of the relationship, because now she thinks she has competition and has to “win you back”. You might have just been playing games on your computer, but if you ignore her “wuu2” texts, she thinks you’re snorting coke off a models tits in a private jet.
To sum this all up in some easily digestible bullet points:
- If a woman flakes on you more than once or twice, she is not attracted to you. Women do not disappoint guys they are trying to impress.
- Women are all seeking the “perfect” guy with no weaknesses to sweep them off their feet.
- Women test guys and qualify them with the information they have of them.
- If you disappoint a woman too many times, she will next you.
- It doesn’t take much to disappoint a woman, they undervalue strengths and overvalue weakness.
- Women who don’t know much about you fill in the gaps of knowledge with idealised versions of you.
- The less information you give to a woman, the “more mysterious you are”, the more attracted she is.