How to be Alpha AND likeable?

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April 30, 2020
135 upvotes

Hey guys. Since becoming more alpha I’ve actually lost friends rather than gained them. I get girls more easily but men seem to be threatened by me and they’re passive aggresive/purposely leaving me out of events etc. Also new men I meet who are physically more beta/don’t workout are passive aggressive toward me even when I am nice to them and don’t compete with them. Sometimes this happens with other jacked men too.

Just before lockdown started, I went to a bar with friends and was hooking up with a friend of a friend’s gf. We were all there together and I started getting attention from some other girls. Another woman (few years older) tried to hit it off with me in front of everyone and I played it cool and she left for a bit. I didn’t initiate anything. Then I went to the toilet and she followed me. My friend clocked it and came to grab me.. he told her to piss off and was angry with me. He said I was supposed to be dating his gf’s friend and I wasn’t strong enough with the other woman but I could tell he was just jealous that I got attention and he didn’t. He was punching me in the ribs calling me stupid but to me it was a translation for “I’m angry that you got so much attention and I can’t get that”

Now I’m a nice guy. Even when I know other men can’t compete with me I don’t rub it in their face because honor and respect. And getting girls isn’t the goal of my life. I actually want real bros. It just pisses me off that they can’t see that and by being nice I get treated like shit it’s weird. I didn’t do anything wrong with this woman. I got attention that I didn’t look for.

So my question is how do you be Chad AND likeable at the same time? My friends joke that I look like a fuckboy which means they subconsciously think I look like I fuck a lot of women but they only put a negative spin on it because they can’t do the same. They have left me out of the pack so many times as if I’m some dishonourable guy who chooses hoes over bros but I never do.

My female friend who’s a PHD biologist (a very logical female who’s honest about hypergamy) told me that I’m a threat to 90% of men. Also at the bar my friend’s gf told me when she was drunk that I’m really handsome and every girl at the bar probably wants to fuck me. My friend didn’t hear and neither did the girl I was dating. (Her friend)

So what am I doing wrong and how do I become more likeable? It seems that men don’t respect me for whatever reason. Are betas more liked by everyone because they’re softer and more agreeable? I mean I’m never an asshole to people but I’m always strong in my convictions and never lie. I thought this would command respect from other people but it doesn’t seem to. Hmm or maybe that’s not it. It’s just I have this one friend who everyone loves but he’s not alpha at all. He’s adopted the new age mantra and is all about positive vibes etc. I’m not like that as I’m a realist, but I’m not an asshole either. So I don’t get it.

What do you think?


Post Information
Title How to be Alpha AND likeable?
Author whereabouts11
Upvotes 135
Comments 79
Date 30 April 2020 02:34 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/658331
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/gawryu/how_to_be_alpha_and_likeable/
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Comments

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten250 points251 points  (12 children) | Copy

When I first opened this thread I was concerned you'd be another one of the retards who assumes that being Alpha is all about being an asshole. I am grateful that is not the case.

A hard lesson you will learn when you become successful, with girls or money or career or whatever, is that success breeds terrible envy and deep-seated jealousy.

Betas are not more likeable, they are more compliant. Mushy turds if you will.

The way you write suggests that you are in fact kind to people and that their happiness matters to you. The second part is the dangerous part. Understand that everyone's happiness is their own responsibility, and some cannot help but malign themselves when they see your path to Greatness.

If you want to, try to explain the purpose of your self improvement and lifestyle to your male friends. Some will get it, some won't. That second group needs to be left behind. The first group however may join you or understand, and your friendship will grow stronger than ever

[–]Popeman7967 points68 points  (6 children) | Copy

Great answer.

As a side-note, I would add that since I've become more successful, I started to understand more how hot women can develop such a bitchy attitude: when you're attractive, everyone (men and women) wants a piece of you. Some want to fuck you, some just want to be seen with you, some want to be validated by you.

At the beginning it's nice, it boosts your ego. But it gets old real quick, and it's hard not to be mean to the 20th person who comes bother you and doesn't get the clear clues that you're not interested.

Part of becoming Chad is learning to deal with constant attention, and using it to raise others up, instead of putting them down.

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten15 points16 points  (4 children) | Copy

/u/redpillschool can you fix his flair?

[–]cfbovernfl-2 points-1 points  (3 children) | Copy

Why?

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy

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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah that wasn't OP

[–]cfbovernfl-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Who? Popeman? Itiswritten already has a flair.

[–]throwitdownman0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It’s actually incredibly difficult dealing with people who do not get the clue that you’re not interested in them, be it sexually or as a friend.

[–]thrwy7547910 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

If you want to, try to explain the purpose of your self improvement and lifestyle to your male friends. Some will get it, some won't.

You could try this. However, before you do it, I'd suggest scoping them out first.

See if they are compliant with your direction. For instance, if you invite a bunch of people out, check out who always shows up early, or on time. If you message someone, who responds right away, or within a reasonable amount of time. If you tell someone to do something for you, who does it quickly, and who prefers to delay things on purpose.

Delays, or outright non-compliance show low interest, or signs of a power struggle. If the person's not even willing to do the minimum to at least get along, don't bother advising them about anything. They're not gonna give a shit, and it's better to know this beforehand rather than wasting precious time.

Instead, focus on the people that support you, and expend a degree of effort to show they give a shit. This is your tribe. Protect them, care for them, and you'll receive the same in return.

In the general case, what you'll also notice is that you won't have to directly tell them about anything. They'll willingly go along with what you're doing because they'll be interested, and know it'll benefit them individually, and as a group.

[–]MakoShark931 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is an extremely valuable comment. Thank you.

[–]muckibudenbrudi3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

What this guy said. Seriouy, you don't need jealous, non-supportive 'friends' in your life. Such people hinder yourself becoming a better man. Keep it up guys!

[–]johncillo1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

OP, Pretty good comments overall and spot-on. I would say that you need a little jump, just that tweak and that is how you phrased the question: “How I become more likeable?” and an alpha doesn’t care if people like him or not, so try to look inside and see if you are trying to be a likeable person, which is more urgent that you dettach from other people’s approval.

Once you’ve done that, you need to be charismatic “The charisma myth” is a great book to start with. On the way you will lose friends by being authentic and a force of growth, but that’s ok. What you need to do to have real bros is to share your vision and how you can help people around you with your purpose and they will follow you. Have a great life my friend.

[–]thesoloronin0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good comments in here already. However, if you need more clarity, the timing is just nice now! I’d suggest go check out Rich Cooper’s video titled “Losing Friends to The Truth About Women & Life here. He explained how to deal with this exact phenomenon and it’s pretty close to what the brethrens have said here, but with someone who you actually know what his background is like through his channel

[–]falconiawillfall52 points53 points  (6 children) | Copy

You need new friends. I have multiple friend groups from high school that I still interact with 8 years later. Almost everyone in those groups, from the most beta to the most alpha, wish each other success in every aspect of life (including getting girls). If someone acts like a faggot (myself included) we're quick to call them out on their bs.

[–][deleted]  (5 children) | Copy

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[–]falconiawillfall10 points11 points  (4 children) | Copy

If they're bringing more negativity than positivity to your life it's best just to start phasing yourself out of that group. I had that happen with these guys I used to party with so I just stopped hanging out with them. However, since this is your core friends group I can see how that would be difficult. Good luck brother

[–]LiberianCongauBCBa1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Does this apply to family also ?

[–]falconiawillfall0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah, especially to family because of how big of a role they play in your life.

[–]LiberianCongauBCBa1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I’ve been battling with cutting off my toxic beta dad and bpd sister. This was the push I needed

[–]falconiawillfall0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good to hear my man, glad I could be of help.

[–]Fabulous-Craft28 points29 points  (3 children) | Copy

The crab bucket mentality is real.

It's hard to have perspective on your high school friends when that's all you've known. Sometimes you get out in the world and realize they are all slugs.

Hang around more high quality, accomplished people and less of them will have this trait.

[–]DF-RP2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Disagree about the solution.

High quality men are not high quality naturally. They've intentionally worked towards it. There's a VERY high proportion of extremely competitive men within the overall group of succesfull guys. They will try to dominate you. It's endless AMOGing. In that sense, American Psycho is a perfect movie example - people consistently trying to one-up each other.

That's not to say it's a bad environment, it pushes you further. But it's not an environment that will just look at your success and clap for you, many in the crowd will see it a threat and try to beat you down - unless you are much lower on the ladder than they are.

[–]Fabulous-Craft1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree, but I think it's a good problem to have.

Plus I think the competitiveness among successful men only becomes "dangerous" at the highest levels. Which again, if you are competing with the top 1% of men then that is a good situation to find yourself.

[–]Whitefarmer20 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy

Alpha is likeable AF but have the balls to be the asshole to put someone in place or stick up for someone who needs help or shame someone who letting themselves go. All in all can control himself

[–]DrJamming19 points20 points  (1 child) | Copy

Dude, you sound like you could be my best bud with that honesty and holding your convictions.

As for males - yeah, you have to go on a limb to make friends. One thing i noticed in life - it's the poor, and lowly who understand camraderie, compassion and friendship. The higher the ladder you go, the more it's about power games in one form or another. If you look like a player you are naturally deemed as such, just as if I had a mohawk I would not be deemed a theatre goer. Obviously logically one does not mean the other, but generalizations are there.

It is very hard to believe that an alpha chad wants to be friends sincerely and not for some power play (ugly guy next to you makes you stand out even more), and females will do their darnest to make it even harder on you. Women will use you (or them) to incite jeleaousy, they will portray you in worse ways possible (classical "my bf is a huge jerk" bs sold to betas), and try to control your relations with other males.

Adapt "bros over hoes" mentality. It'll be very hard to truly break the ice with another dude, but actions speak louder then words. In time you may get a true friend - don't lose him, these things are worth their weight in gold if not more.

Edit:

To find true & blue friends try checking the "weirdo" isle. If you hold your beliefs that aren't mainstream and are a Chad, then you're an "asshole". If you do the same while not being a Chad then you're weird and creepy. These labels are often enough stamped on very good ppl who like you have their own values and beliefs and don't bend over to pressure of society. Often enough to warrant personal inquisition into the matter, rather then believing word of often deceptive and venomous mouth. If they're really just messed up, next'em. But if not, you may have a true buddy material.

[–]rockyp321 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That’s true yeah you see a lot of the power fighting in people who’ve been at the top their whole life kinda like a natural leader would I guess. But most come from being weak and soft so they understand what I feels like to be that way so once they try to maintain that niceness but then people walk over you

[–]amwfhunter11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Alpha and likeable are not antonymous. Perhaps you need to branch out and find men who are similar to you. Iron sharpens iron. When you hang around equally successful men or men more successful than you. Just always strive to improve and learn from these men but also understand what you can bring to the group and they can learn from you also. Guys who legitimately have your back and could help you, vice versa in times of need. This is healthy .

Just don't fall into the same trap of being resentful and jealous when in company of such men. That is being true beta.

[–]MikalCartier7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’s definitely not you, it’s your friends they’re betas that act out of a scarcity mindset which is why they treat you the way they do, In their heads your out to get them by stealing their girls or any attention they think they could get from them even though that just isn’t the case, and instead of trying to better themselves they think they can just X you out and problem solved. My advice to you is raise your standards of friendship and try to distance yourself from any people that give off the type of energy they do. True Alphas are better off hanging around other Alphas.

Not saying you need to completely cut them off because their your friends and I get that but you should look for others that share you ideals and aren’t gonna get their panties in a bunch when they see you getting attention from females.

[–]Noodlesoupe25 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

Jealousy is a disease. As long as you don’t show your power level in public and act too cocky I’d say it’s their problem not yours.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

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[–]JackStraw19723 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

They are pussy’s straight up

[–]masterpiece000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

As long as you don’t show your power level in public

Holy shiiiiitt this place has gotten so much more deluded.

[–]EdvardMunch5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think it will have to eventually become more subtle. As women typically crave emotional support that gets wrapped up in false examples of feminism (see those "the take" videos on youtube), we will continue towards any sign of success or ability as a man as a threat. Women want to beat you often, but when they do they're bored. That's the name of the game. Some guys say "hey beat me, i'm all yours" and those are your beta types.

Truthfully we may all be getting used to some degree no matter what you do or who you are. We have way to much information at our disposal now and it seems to make us crazy. We have more cliches than ever now, or at least we believe we do. You see a guy with a pussy hat and you probably think you have him completely mapped out but it's not the case fundamentally. A guy built huge or good looking isn't automatically a dick, though they might be able to get away with it, it doesn't mean that they are a dick.

It's almost as if we continue to try and lower the chances of us ever having to deal with pain. We really need to focus on lower our attachments to things because that is what causes it. I don't see how it's seemingly sexist now to date a lot of woman if you're being honest with them about your intentions or what you're doing. If a woman played the field she'd be applauded as a feminist hero.

[–]rickit3k4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

You need to meet other Alphas. It's a common misconception, that alpha+alpha male means conflict. The opposite is true. Mutual respect is the base for great male friendships.

[–]cfbovernfl-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

He's not meeting other alphas because he's not an alpha lol. Alphas form friendships naturally, they don't go on reddit looking where to find them.

[–]AJ_KG_JG4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

I've found that if you have positive traits which cause both admiration and jealousy ("unhappy admiration"), it is of extreme benefit to develop your ability to be an asshole/hardass. For the majority of my life I (both consciously and unconsciously) followed the path of being a "nice guy" and not retaliating when wronged. It was inculcated into me during childhood and reinforced by society later in life. However, it never really "worked" for me, in that being nice and conciliatory never stopped people from attacking me and never really earned people's respect. However, I almost immediately got positive results after I tried a new way: If you cross me, I will retaliate as appropriate. People no longer saw me as a soft target, I got more respect, and had to deal with less shit. Perhaps more importantly, my self confidence, self esteem, etc. went up. I was no longer nervous about social interactions, because I knew I could handle myself.

Basically, having admirable/enviable traits will make some people want to attack you, and being seen as soft/vulnerable will give them the green light to do so. Remove that perception of softness and people will be deterred from attacking you.

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[–]AJ_KG_JG1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree with this, and your last two sentences are key. Give empathy to people whose actions deserve it. We all have problems in this life, if someone chooses a dishonorable way to handle their problems, they deserve to get checked. Hopefully they'll learn a better way.

Also, I wanted to add that you don't always have to be an asshole when dealing with someone's hostility, but perhaps the key phrase would be "assertively setting and enforcing boundaries."

[–]Lalocal4life3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Likeable is subjective. Hooking up with someone else's significant other is not "alpha". A conversation with the man who "thinks" he is in a relationship with her is "alpha behavior ". I have spent 5 days a week in various gyms for years... I have been deployed for combat REPEATEDLY! I own and often ride the biggest road glide harley Davidson's makes.. Yet NOT A SINGLE MAN I KNOW, has referred to himself as alpha.

[–]zeekt122 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yupp, same thing happened to me after i lost weight, quit porn/excessive masturbation, and gained muscle.

A lot of the people that knew you when you were at your lowest/beta will try to keep you there while new people you meet will respect you for who you truly are.

[–]Vyergulf2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I consider myself an Empath Alpha. I have lines of women at any time waiting for a chance, but I am far to empathetic and actively try to be kind. Kindness while not allowing yourself to be walked all over is highly alpha and can get you far more women than the stereotypical alpha gym bro type. I find it really confuses women to discover this man who can toss them around like a rag doll is also a decent and considerate man.

[–]notWhatIsTheEnd1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree. Highly empathetic men are naturally fluent in the subtle and non-verbal language of women. Problem is that with the current BP conditioning by society their empathy becomes their own downfall unless they can set and rigorously enforce appropriate boundaries (not something included in BP conditioning). In my experience an empathetic "alpha" type of man who can assertively communicate and has appropriate boundaries is a force to be reckoned with.

[–]cuztrp2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Actually people like you I'd like to befriend and people like your friend in the bar and some of my friends I'd like to stay away from.

I'm by no means an athlete, I'm as average as average could get, face, body fat percentage and everything. I look okay and I have my way with women through a lot of training in my game. I'm working out recently and I really want to to build a stronger body.

I have a colleague of mine who's in my opinion a straight fucking 10/10. He's jacked as FUCK, tall and his face is really beautiful. He looks like he could knock you out with one punch but he turned out the coolest and most chill person in the office. We've instantly become friends and we hanged out over beers a few times and we had nights where we approached girls and he wingmanned me.

Why wasn't I threatened by him and in the opposite I befriended him? Because I know that that guy has gone through a lot of pain and patience to reach that body. I know that he takes his job seriously and never let me down when I asked for his help. And most importantly, Jesus fuck, he's just polite. He'd never really tease even jokingly and he never insults or whatever. He's like a good boy with guys but a Chad thunderrock with gals.

Anyways. What I'm trying to tell you is that not all the guys will feel threatened by you. I'm average and some guys still get threatened by me so don't worry about it. If you're good in something, people will naturally envy you and if some will join you to harness each other's powers.

For example, my colleague and I spent hours talking about fitness-related topics and even developed a workout for me in calisthenics. We've also talked about girls a lot and the funny thing is that a guy with that SMV can still get dumped by a basic hoe.

[–]cfbovernfl6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're probably just being overly abrasive and coming off as a dick. The alpha guys I knew in HS, the guys who don't wtf reddit is, the "naturals".. they were some of the most popular guys in the grade. Definitely no lack of male friends.

[–]KingsVictory191 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Be prepared to never have a friend again unless he has the same goals as you and the both of you aren't too intimidated by each other and/or seeking dominance so hard core (insecurity) that you cant become bros because you're too busy sizing each other up. Of course your friend is jealous of you. However, I would not hate him for it. Whether you want to call it a weakness or just a simple lack of interest but, not everyone can live like you. It's time to make new friends. This is why I wanted to be a SEAL as a teenager. I wanted to be around like-minded men. While everyone treated me as they treat you, I was just wanted to be a part of a brotherhood.

[–]dusara2171 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You need new friends, man. If your friends are immature, weak, and envious, then they're going to do what immature, weak, envious people do. Make friends with men that have their shit together, and are wise/ have life experience/do hard shit.

[–]spartanblood11 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm in the same case as you, over the months I started to get a lot of female attention. Obviously my friends have noticed my SMV has risen and I don't know what it is, but all of sudden they communicate and hang out with me less. Pretty shit how it works but what can you do

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yo you sound like the kind of guy I'd want to hang out with. Lmao

I've had this shit happen a bunch to me. It's the way of the world.

For me, it was that I had an LTR who was exclusive to me but I had sex with 25 other girls while with her (she knew and was okay with it). I was young so I didn't know how to "hide" that from friends and shit, so more people knew about it than I would have liked (not the exact # or anything, but that I had an LTR and rampantly hit on other girls and often slept with them). The hordes of betas could not comprehend how I could possibly do that, so they just hated me instead and thought I must be "manipulative." Nope. Just know how to get what I want.

[–]WIA20XX3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sorry to hear.

This isn't something where you can just change your in the moment behavior, and everyone else will calm down.

You'll have to change crowds - which obviously leads to other problems.

[–]OfficerWade0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The only person who has to like you... is you. If you see it from their eyes that you’re people pleasing just stop and say oh, I’m doing that silly thing again. But don’t be judgmental.

On the other side if you’re going to be hateful and vicious do it consciously without hiding it.

I’ve been going to this men’s group for a couple months and one of the members were mentioning how every spiritual leader or coach tells you to be kind, be gentle, be god fearing, etc etc. he said ever since he started calling people fuckers, assholes and every other nasty name he’s felt a lot better because he wasn’t denying his feelings or his thoughts.

Obviously you don’t wanna say these things to your boss or a cop but I think you don’t need me to tell you that. Just keep doing what you’re doing but do it with another purpose.

[–]tommybahama666660 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I feel you bro. For me i feel like its really ahed to find other alpha dudes who are chill. Im always jealous of groups like that. Right now i have like two friends and both are pretty beta. I think it takes time and people will realize that ur chill af and u will be good.

[–]manfrombelow0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You have to accept that it's natural to gain A and lose B. You CAN'T have both.

Who gives a fuck if you're not liked by betas? They hate you and feel threatened by you, that's THEIR problem, not YOURS.

Real bros support you to get what you want, not playing the hypocrite cards to drag you down with them.

Like another bro has said in this topic: Your success breeds envy and hatred in others, especially betas. That's something you just have to deal with by leaving them behind.

[–]manfrombelow0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

And yes, OP should befriend other alphas.

[–]Brushyourteethm80 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I have ditched 2 groups of guys mates in the last 18 months due to this (I'm married but working out a lot and having steadily been getting more and more IOIs over the last couple of years).

Just let them fall away is my advice. I've ditched 6-7 in one group and 2-3 in the other. I gave them a few chances but once it became clear that they were resisting my changes then they needed to go - don't compromise or change for anyone except yourself.

It was pretty much how you described - not inviting me to stuff, bitching, quiet words with me about my new 'twatty attitude' etc - basically hamster ridden crab in a bucket behaviour.

I just left one group chat and muted the other. Nothing needs saying, you just need to drop the established social dynamic that the group has fallen into and set out on your own.

To be honest it has been a bit lonely in sometimes and I have met several of the guys individually or in smaller groups but not en masse and only the guys who have not been bitches.

By ditching them it has freed up time to do my own stuff and meet new people. This has been a slow process and it needs to be as I've been vetting everybody. If they don't add positively to my life, if they cause drama or are toxic in any way then they don't get a spot. Some are new people and some are the best from previous friendship groups

It has been a long and slow process but the friendships that I've now built are with decent guys who just get it. Some I hear from more often than others and we have different stuff in common.

I have a new 'best mate' who I knew from before but your relationships change for the better when you put yourself first and cut away the shit.

[–]communistcontrolact0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Let those jealous betas crumble. Fuck em

[–]VigilantSmartbomb[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

By transcending the game and being omega- You *cant help* that they throw themselves at you. You're just you.

I only play "the game" when I want to but I'm also familiar with MGTOW and tbh I'd assume that attracts the "best" females because you dont care so much about the game you focus on yourself and life as a whole and thats attractive.

Jus my thoughts on how to be alpha and still keep friends and still attract quality females.

[–]lilcofe0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Short answer: Charm, charisma, and humor.

I can say from experience humor is the best way to put anybody at ease. That doesn’t mean making yourself the target of a joke, though. When situations become tense, use your wit and just take the piss out of everything. Men and and women alike will respect that you have the balls to call out nonsense and appreciate that only didn’t make things more awkward, but also made it fun/playful.

[–]Filmguy0000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Have a backbone. Value yourself. And be chill. Trifecta of the the likable alpha.

[–]UnbreakableButts0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'll be your friend bro

[–]Masterdoubt3600 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

We'll...Maybe it's just because you're ugly.

[–]seducter0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

A lot of great comments here but figured I would add my 2 cents. I have this theory, based on life experience, that friendships are based on convenience. For example, you go to the same school, work at the same job, etc.

But when one moves away, the friendship naturally ends. Same with if you change too much from your existing friends. I was in your spot and had to ultimately ditch the friends because they were unwilling to see beyond their bias that I was a fuckboy. They would cockblock when a woman showed interest "you might need to take a number, he's got a few girls on the go tonight." Of course I knew that just made me look more attractive to the woman, but I could see what they were trying to do out of jealousy.

As sad as it sounds, nowadays when I see a group of guys walking around, I feel like they are only friends because they can't get laid.

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[–]jm510 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’m treated as the villain

That's because you are the villain. Crabs are not supposed to escape the bucket. What's worse than a crab escaping the bucket? That same crab visiting the other crabs who are still stuck in that bucket.

You belong in a different peer group now.

[–]burnerkidtalin0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I dealt with practically the same things as you. There already has been great advice on this thread, but I will add that self improvement and just growing more masculine traits by around age 20 made me more attractive physically. My self esteem trailed behind, and I thought that something might not be right with me when in fact other men treated me differently because I posed a very real threat. I was always and still am a really kind generous guy. Find men better than you that have mastered their egos and you will not feel like you must walk on eggshells. Some people were always fated to be your enemies or simply nothing to you.

[–]morphite65[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I have a good friend, great guy who's always got my back, who's a "natural alpha" and honestly I can only hang around him for limited amounts of time. I just feel like he's condescending all the time although I don't think he sees it that way. It's just gonna be lonely at the top I guess.

[–]cafeitalia0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Don't shit where you eat. Hooking up with someone's gf in your friends circle is not alpha. It shows you are a pussy chaser simple as that. Go find girls outside of your circle. Easier to fuck, easier to dump.

[–]shvmir0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The more successful you become there's going to be more people that like you and dislike you. When you are on the path to greatness more people ARE going to dislike you, it's just reality. A lot of people think you can be successful and have 0 haters but that's just blue-pilled as fuck. Think about somebody successful like Drake who has millions of fans but also has thousands of people who shit on him and his music.

[–]Rivaria900 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

go on a journey/mission to become the best possible version of yourself, along the way you will drop friends and make new ones, ones that matter. Put yourself first but in a way that doesn't put anyone else down, you are responsible for your own happiness and well being, if you are a true alpha then you don't give a shit if you are likeable to others cause in the end you love yourself, doing this you will attract the right things in life that you deserve, good luck mate and god bless.

[–]DigitalDragonSlayer0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Stop being a fagooot OP

[–]dlabsx0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

He was punching me in the ribs calling me stupid but to me it was a translation for “I’m angry that you got so much attention and I can’t get that”

lmao

[–][deleted]  (4 children) | Copy

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[–]TheBlockedUser0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I read it. You did well. Your friend is misunderstood.

My main advice - Do not get a nose job bud.

[–]masterpiece00-1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy

So my question is how do you be Chad

Sorry kid, but you are a beta.

[–][deleted]  (4 children) | Copy

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[–]masterpiece000 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

The post you made is full of insecurity and the constant need for approval and pent up anger over the sex you cannot get. Your need to say you are alpha means it is something you know you are not.

Chin up sonny boy, it's not all bad.

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[–]bluefingerblue0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Link a picture of yourself in the comments. Can always delete later.

But I could tell you within 10 seconds whether it’s you or them.

[–]masterpiece00-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

haha ok kid, ahem alpha man that's likeable.



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