My Boyfriend wants to take a trip with another girl

teaandtalk · 2020-05-06T07:02:29+00:00

What is the purpose of the road trip? Why do they need to practice for it together if it's really just camping separately and driving separately?

BlueBubbleGame · 2020-05-06T07:27:04+00:00

Are you sure he’s your boyfriend?

What is the purpose of this trip? Are they mountain climbing or something? Where are they going? Is it just the two of them?

Pola_Lita · 2020-05-06T09:07:06+00:00

Camping, hiking, even mountain climbing are recreational pursuits. Voluntary and optional. The fact that he *hasn't* asked you how you feel about it says a lot, too. Every angry, questioning feeling you have about this is normal.

85thredditaccount · 2020-05-06T13:14:22+00:00

Sheesh. 3-4 months? First of all does this man not have a job? Second of all, this is the hardest dealbreaker in the world. If it was 3-4 days I’d say it’s fine but either go with them, or have him take said sister or another trustworthy third party. 3-4 months is insane. And the fact that he didn’t even ask your feelings about it? Does this man even realize he HAS a girlfriend? Sorry. I don’t mean to be harsh but wow.

okquestionthen · 2020-05-06T14:44:48+00:00

What the ever loving.

This is his Big Coming Of Age roadtrip where he finally gets together with his childhood sweetheart. You see that, right?

Dump him. I mean, the best time to dump him was when he came up with this plan, but today is fine too.

You deserve better than to used to keep his dick wet while he lines up his big move on his oneitis.

teriyakigirl · 2020-05-06T13:58:11+00:00

[deleted]

ProgmusicHans · 2020-05-06T07:05:40+00:00

"Context on the girl: She is his older sisters best friend, she is well- acquainted with his family and they have known each other for years now"

Childhood crush alert

"Frankly, he has never asked me if I am okay with this trip and does know I am not okay with"
"He did not ask me at all if I was okay with this and just informed me of their new camping plans on a phone call later that day, I was pissed and angry.
Should I just give up?"

Even if he isn't interested in her, he is also not interested in keeping you. He knows this will be a dealbreaker for you and he does not care at all. Not only once did he plan the trip without asking you, but twice. The first time at the beginning of your relationship. Instead of planning on bonding with you over the next upcoming summer, he planned a 3-4 month long road trip with another woman. You are simply not on his mind, your relationship isn't a priority to him.

"Please be radically honest with me and tell me what you think."

Ask him on why he is spending the summer with her, instead of bonding with you. His answer will make you leave him.

AnnaAerials · 2020-05-06T10:30:07+00:00

My BLUNT opinion; Hard next. He isn’t taking your relationship seriously. Don’t waste anymore time. Cut your losses and call it off! This is not respectful behaviour.

Firbolgar · 2020-05-06T06:50:44+00:00

[deleted]

Magicallypeanut · 2020-05-06T15:11:05+00:00

I'd just leave. You should be the one going. Sounds like you're the side chick. I have a feeling they wont be in separate tents long. 3 to 4 months?? That's ridiculous and not fair to you. You deserve better. Dont be a doormat

bobtheseal · 2020-05-06T16:17:24+00:00

Why can't you go?

2020-05-06T18:34:05+00:00

You need to hard next this guy. The only girl he should want to take a long-term road trip is you. Perhaps if his sister was also attending this road trip it could be salvaged.... but that doesn't seem to be the case here. I see many red flags in this scenario. A men typically only wants to take a road trip with a girl, alone (who is not his family member) to try and get close with her.

Even if there are no conscious feelings there. Men and women are biologically wired to form some sort of attraction, so at one point or another one of them felt attraction to the other. And if the attraction hasn't manifested in the past, this road trip is the perfect place/time for it to happen.

Spare yourself the pain and end things now.

TranslatedSky · 2020-05-06T21:05:25+00:00

Your answer is in your post actually. You posted “why is he so desperate to take a trip with this girl?” and “why can’t he find a guy to do this with?”

It’s been eight months. He should have had a sense of who you are by now and that you wouldn’t be okay with this. He knew that you would not “okay” the decision, hence he told you directly that it was happening rather than asking you.

I was in a similar situation except that he hid it. When I found out, he turned on me to make it seem like I was unreasonable, despite knowing that I won’t be okay with it (hence hiding it).

There’s a difference between being a pushover and being a RP woman. A good Captain would take your feelings into account. He clearly doesn’t.

Most importantly, everyone on this forum can tell you what to do, or give you their assessment of the situation, but this is the time for trusting your gut. A few months ago, the forum called me out for not trusting my gut in a bad situation. I should have trusted my gut, because my gut was right. Dude turned out to be a cheater.

Don’t leave him because the forum says so. Leave him because hes breaking your boundaries and your gut says so. This will empower you. Trust your gut.

souadezz · 2020-05-06T14:27:58+00:00

Is this a joke ? or is he taking you for a joke ?

would he be ok if you did the same thing?

You have your answer.

miamaheen · 2020-05-07T17:32:31+00:00

He accepted and agreed that he wasn’t changing his mind on this trip. He believes we can be friends and still check in on each other from time to time. I should give context he isn’t a bad guy by no means... he just doesn’t wanna be the guy for me. I’m now just working on moving on and focusing on moving on. Oh also he gave me a USB with a song he recorded and wrote for me ... so walking away was super hard.

I’ve found that I am not angry at him and I do I fact love and care for him deeply ..... which is exactly why I can’t reduce our relationship to a friendship and frankly I don’t wanna watch him fall in love with this girl on social media when they go on this trip.

He respects me but I think it’s time I respect myself and GTF

morganKxoxo · 2020-05-06T14:59:20+00:00

Uhhh absolutely not. Why aren’t YOU going on this road trip???? I would never be okay with this and it’s extremely sketchy.

cohost3 · 2020-05-06T16:31:09+00:00

So many weirds things about this one... why aren’t you invited? If they are friends, why do they need separate tents? Why would you do a road trip in separate cars?! For 3 MONTHS too? I can’t believe he expects you to sit around and wait for him while he vacations with another women. He is not captain worthy, and probably not really that committed to you.

onlysomewanttofly · 2020-05-06T21:49:19+00:00

Radical honesty = he is not very invested in your relationship whether he and this chick make the tent doors flap in the breeze or not.

That doesn’t necessarily make him a bad guy or that he’s commuting any kind of outright foul here.

After all they have been friends for years and this has been being planned since before you got with him.

But I have the feeling that he is seeing your relationship as Saturday dates where as you may have been thinking about where you’ll live, what kind of house you’ll buy and what your kids will look like.

He is not at the same level of investment or commitment.

I suggest you also scale back your level of investment and commitment as well. Bring it back to Saturday night dating at the most if you even want to go that far.

It seems fair to me that if he is going to spend roughly 1/4-1/3 of a year with another woman, it stands to reason that might as well start dating other men.

I don’t mean that as some kind of tat-for-tit to get back at him, but rather if his level of investment to you is to spend months with another woman 24/7, there is no real commitment here so why should you on the shelf and off the market if he’s watching sunsets over the mountains with some other chick.

This is simply a keep-on-truck’n moment with your own life.

Hecatenight · 2020-05-06T23:32:26+00:00

Taking a trip with someone of the opposite sex, unless it’s a family member, is a romantic act. Period. Why is he not planning trips with you? I’m genuinely asking.

miamaheen · 2020-05-07T03:12:28+00:00

Hi everyone, thank you so much for reassuring me,I have never made a reddit post and I will take some time to reply back to all your comments. I should update you guys. We broke up 3 days ago. I am on my third day no contact and now have a clear goal of getting over this. I will continue to post in this thread because honestly this amount of feedback is so uplifting and has reaffirmed me to trust my gut.

2020-05-07T08:36:07+00:00

Yeah unless you want to be poly I’d break up because a mono man isn’t going to take a long ass trip like that with a girl he’s that close to and then he quit his job too for the trip?! Just no way lol 😆 heck to the nope.

AUVID · 2020-05-07T18:10:59+00:00

If he was crazy about you he'd want to go on the trip with you and not this other lady. He's treating you like an after-thought here. As much as I would like to take the sensible route and talk to him about this I'd dump him on the spot.

teriyakigirl · 2020-05-06T14:06:14+00:00

Yeah.... It's a no from me dawg. Why is he so determined to take a major trip with another female? Nobody would be okay with that. You have every right to be upset OP. Y'all should discuss it, and really see if he pays attentions to your concerns. For me, I'd leave if he went on the months long trip... rather not get my heart broken down the road.

okquestionthen · 2020-05-06T16:48:05+00:00

I’m really sorry, but if you stay with him... you will be cheated on or he’ll dump you before or after the trip. This isn’t your fault, clearly he had feelings for her for awhile now. Going by your information...please to save your mental health, next relationship and leave him. Protect yourself. He doesn’t take you or the relationship seriously. I’m sorry. Let us know and keep us updated good luck

2020-05-07T17:49:16+00:00

GIRL YOU NEED TO DUMP HIM!!

danyixa · 2020-05-08T13:28:23+00:00

I agree with everyone on here, it sounds super sketchy. Even if its a close family friend it still sketches me out because he is going to be with her for 3-4 months.

You deserve WAY better than him.

Title	My Boyfriend wants to take a trip with another girl
Author	miamaheen
Upvotes	19
Comments	45
Date	May 6, 2020 3:53 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/gecrvk/my_boyfriend_wants_to_take_a_trip_with_another/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/my-boyfriend-wants-to-take-a-trip-with-another.659689 https://theredarchive.com/post/659689

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