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[–]aryawhitesbaneFDS Newbie257 points258 points259 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The fact that this isn't already considered bare minimum or absolutely necessary makes me so sad
[–]cherrybombfieldFDS Newbie100 points101 points102 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The number of times I have heard a man say about his SO well she really loves me- it makes me sick. Like what- how does that work? So she loves you a lot so that is why you are with her. No way in hell I would want that kind of relationship.
[–]MaisiebrFDS Newbie149 points150 points151 points 3 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
I will always laugh at my ex who didn't want to show that he loved me, he purposefully was cold when I needed warmth the most and who couldn't for the life of him blurt out anything that showed that he plans a future with me yet he managed to cry to everyone about me for half a year after I left him.
[–]_nyleaFDS Newbie82 points83 points84 points 3 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Hahahaha why is this a thing? My ex was the EXACT same way (actually multiple of them were), it was so ridiculous.
You couldn’t show a single goddamn emotion during years of dating, but all of a sudden the waterworks come out when I dump you? For that exact reason?!
[–][deleted] 124 points125 points126 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Avoidantly Attached men feel unsafe with vulnerability. They are the self-reliant types who are afraid to depend on anyone but themselves because they couldn’t depend on their parents as a kid. Their comfort zone is an anxiously attached partner needing them and putting more effort into the relationship, so he can say “she’s so clingy and suffocating, I’m independent and don’t need her or anyone.” Which makes them feel good. But if you leave, this guy will feel abandoned, and he’ll express his actual fear of being alone and his longing for attachment. I actually showed a video about this to my ex as I was breaking up with him, (to show the pattern of emotional withdrawal), and he agreed and said that when he was a kid his parents were divorcing and he was always surrounded by strangers and fought over by them.
A securely attached man is not afraid to rely on you, and he’s not afraid to rely on himself either. He’s happy alone and happy in a relationship. This applies to women too.
[–]PostcardtoalakeFDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
This is my obstacle with people who have addiction issues. They often cannot form healthy attachments (at least not in NYC AA, but New Orleans AA was better). It’s crazy how AA culture differs from place to place.
[–]invenereveritasFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
As a New Yorker, this makes perfect sense.
[–]PostcardtoalakeFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yup, right?! Every city has its unique weirdness.
[–]pickmieshaexorcistFDS Apprentice46 points47 points48 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
SAAAME. I became the evil witch after divorce. The man begrudged me every friend I had, and openly prided himself on how private he was, but when I was leaving, all of a sudden he cultivated all these deep friendships where he’d pour his heart out to them about how I hurt him so. Much!
[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Apprentice19 points20 points21 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
We dated the same man? Totally weird! 😏
[–]Azertyyy123At-Risk Pick Me Youth8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If they can no longer control you, they will try to control the image others have if you.... Such lvm behavior
[–]helena939392FDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hhahah been there too. It's absolutely hilarious. All the coldness, arrogance, laughing at my tears and unhappiness, and threats to dump me were suddenly replaced with months of begging me to return to him, promising me a wedding and children (although we WERE engaged for 2 years, but I wasn't allowed to plan or even bring up the topic of setting a wedding date during that time, talking about promise rings...) and crying to me about how I was the love of his life. Well, ofc I was, it would be hella convenient and lovable for me too to have a man who would do ANYTHING for me while I was being a cheating, violent asshole ✌️
[–]TheSatanicVeganFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You don't realize what you have until it's gone... I suppose.
[–]NotYourBizThrowAwayFDS Newbie79 points80 points81 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
For real. Even though my ex told me he loved me first, every time after that was like pulling teeth. I want someone who is all about me god damnit! AND shows it!
[+][deleted] 3 years ago* (8 children) | Copy Link
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[–]noavocadoshereFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
i had to grab my headphones and put on jodeci's my heart belongs to you real quick 🤧💕 lol.
[+][deleted] 3 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
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[–]cynthiaat92FDS Newbie42 points43 points44 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I had someone tell me they were " a little nerdy geek" and thus didn't know how to express emotion. I let it slide. Definitely shouldn't have, and won't ever again.
[–]SecretServletFDS Newbie27 points28 points29 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
seriously...why would you even want to settle for anything less than that. girl, a man is meant to ENHANCE the life you have already built. pick your partners carefully. the wrong man will destroy you.
[–]InayahDaneenFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This 💯👏🏻
[–]greenbeanbirdFDS Newbie19 points20 points21 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
100%!
[–]ldnsurvivalFDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Facts. Nothing else will do!
[–]kittycakes22FDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Where do you find these men? I need to know.
[–][deleted] 11 points12 points13 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If he ain't helping you level up, level out the door.
[–]224Y0UFDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Honest question-has anyone found that?
[–]Sayeesa13FDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I have. I think some others who frequent this sub have, as well. HVM are out there, they are just really rare.
[–]AfraidofFollowersFDS Apprentice5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes, twice.
Both sucked as human beings in different areas though but their love for me was apparent.
[–][deleted] 24 points25 points26 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Women don’t ask for much most of the time, just respect, love and attention. Why is this so confusing to men? Our extra X-chromosome is neuroprotective and results in lower proportion of neurodevelopmental disorders in females. Makes me wonder if most men just have limitations in their cognitive capacity.
[–]inlovewithaloserFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is the gospel truth. It’s fucked up how many soulless men there are out there. The similarities in their sliminess are astounding.
[–]bunniestailFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
i love how this is worded! and yes, this!!!
[–]vee711FDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Amen 🙏🏾
[–]simply4nothingFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I deserve to be with someone who treats me like a queen. I treated every guy that I've dated like a king even if they're the peasant that begs for loose change on the village streets. Enough is enough.
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[–]aryawhitesbaneFDS Newbie257 points258 points259 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]cherrybombfieldFDS Newbie100 points101 points102 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MaisiebrFDS Newbie149 points150 points151 points (13 children) | Copy Link
[–]_nyleaFDS Newbie82 points83 points84 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 124 points125 points126 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]PostcardtoalakeFDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]invenereveritasFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]PostcardtoalakeFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]pickmieshaexorcistFDS Apprentice46 points47 points48 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Apprentice19 points20 points21 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Azertyyy123At-Risk Pick Me Youth8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]helena939392FDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheSatanicVeganFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NotYourBizThrowAwayFDS Newbie79 points80 points81 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]noavocadoshereFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points (7 children) | Copy Link
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[–]cynthiaat92FDS Newbie42 points43 points44 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]SecretServletFDS Newbie27 points28 points29 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]InayahDaneenFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]greenbeanbirdFDS Newbie19 points20 points21 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ldnsurvivalFDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]kittycakes22FDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]224Y0UFDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Sayeesa13FDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AfraidofFollowersFDS Apprentice5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 24 points25 points26 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]inlovewithaloserFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]bunniestailFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]vee711FDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]simply4nothingFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link