Reminder to keep on being ruthless ladies!!

CeriseNoire · 2020-03-03T17:14:21+00:00

Uh yeah, it's true. If you feel like reading, rant story incoming. Here's some shit that happened this week.

First,I think ruthless is a good word for it. Before, I think I would tell myself that certain things that I know aren't ok with me are things I should just deal with because iT's nOt sUcH A BiG DeaL. Weak minded and too focused on the flesh is about right. And you see that other people around you encourage you to disregard these things and they tell you it's not a big deal so you think you're asking for too much. It's like some joint gaslighting effort by the world.

A few years ago I might have just put it behind me and try to forget about it no matter how much I hated it. But I'd never really forget it. I'd just be unhappy on the low and wonder why I hate and resent everything more and more.

I can't tell you how good and solid this guy seemed at the beginning. From looks to competence and motivation. Seemed so understanding, openminded about a lot of things etc. Everything about him was looking ideal. The first smaller red flag came about and I CLEARLY still having some of that weak mind mindset decided to see him again even though I had lost some interest by then. I was still justifying it in my mind because of how MUCH I liked other things about him. Weeeelll, we're talking and he tells me about his time in the military. It's super interesting tbh. He's talking how he was deployed to another country, about what his job was there, what he learned about other people, about relationships and friendships, his thoughts and feelings on the whole thing. He's opening up on the highs and lows of having all this responsibility in a foreign place at a young age.

And suddenly...this fuck tells me, smiling, like it's something cool and a little bit bad that he did. How he and his friends were out at night in the city and accidentally came across this "happy ending"🙄 massage place. So him and his buddies decided to go in jUst tO seE iF iT'S rEALLy a ThInG, like it's a game or some shit. The point is he got a massage and a jerk off session from this disenfranchised woman in a hole in the wall massage place in the middle of the night. He tells me this smiling like I'll laugh along with him because very clearly other women and men have laughed before. And what hurts is I love his laugh, it's so cute. And now he's laughing about this. It even flashed through my mind how cute he looks right now. And because of dumb shit like that I can see the version of myself years ago trying to hide my disappointment in him. But I'm not doing that now.

So I get serious and tell him that I'm disappointed. He's not the man I thought he was. I find men who go see prostitutes morally low and I want nothing to do with it. He's shaken, upset and surprised about this. He's trying to justify it. But I'm over him completely and I'm like, look...I'm going home. We were at his place. I am so glad I did not sleep with him. Not only do I believe that men who don't think seeing prostitutes is a big deal don't value women in general although they'll never admit it. With him and the way he tried to explain himself it came across as I matter but that woman doesn't. Like she's some cardboard cutout instead of a person. He definitely 100% sees me as some other species from that woman. Like, he'd never be disrespectful to ME but that woman was irrelevant. That's unacceptable.

I just wanted to rant. I liked this man SO much and this is a dealbreaker for me. He's tried and is trying so hard to get into contact and talk to me but I have nothing else to say. I'm so sad about it. So sad.

SaddleUpBucephalus · 2020-03-03T16:12:22+00:00

Yep. Stop fucking up future generations.

yumiia · 2020-03-03T16:54:02+00:00

Yeah even if he’s hvm if his families gonna treat me like shit I’m not dealing with that lol.

saltyandpepa · 2020-03-03T18:52:04+00:00

100% true and guarding your womb is even more important. You can break off a childless relationship but if you have a baby with that person, they will always be in your life. (And they'll influence the child with their attitudes and ideas.) It's a HUGE decision.

Deadgirl1888 · 2020-03-03T22:00:39+00:00

Birth control is never 100% and abortion rights are being taken away from a lot of women. Be picky about who you sleep with.

99power · 2020-03-03T20:48:15+00:00

I’ve been schooled in this since birth thanks to my family’s high standards. If you can’t imagine passing on this person’s genetics into your family line, don’t give them the time of day. What also helps to think about is: would I suffer myself if I behaved like this fool? Why do I not immediately realize how embarrassed I would be in his place acting like that? These guidelines have helped me survive my pickme phase relatively unharmed.

FodderFigureIllushun · 2020-03-03T19:23:51+00:00

This is what I'm thinking whenever my BFF asks me how my dating life is going. The second question she always asks me is "Is he hot?" as if that's not as important as "Is he a good man?" or "Does he treat you well?".

She always refers to her husband as "hot" (I don't think he is...to each, her own) so IDK if I can trust her judgement but with that in mind...

I'm already past dating who I'm physically attracted to because I'm looking for a deeper connection. Can he take care of me and our future family? Does he have the drive to better himself if times ever get tough? Is he sensitive to my needs and emotions?

galian84 · 2020-03-04T00:09:23+00:00

👏 at this!

I've seen too many lives destroyed by marrying the wrong person, including pretty much my entire family.

lightbluemind · 2020-03-04T01:14:24+00:00

Exactly!! Because even if the guy you have kids with is "just" low value (and not abusive/a cheater/an asshole/whatever) if you have kids with him you will never get him fully out of your life. Only have kids with the man you want to have around forever.

2020-03-04T21:18:52+00:00

Mate selection will play a huge part in your happiness, health, career, family, and sanity. and it seems hard when you haven't met a really great guy but when you finally do meet that really great guy and he's the real deal, you'll feel a great sense of respect for yourself and a general sense of safety

Title	Reminder to keep on being ruthless ladies!!
Author	rilynblue
Upvotes	512
Comments	28
Date	March 3, 2020 4:11 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fcwtpy/reminder_to_keep_on_being_ruthless_ladies/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/reminder-to-keep-on-being-ruthless-ladies.681025 https://theredarchive.com/post/681025

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