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Another "Forever GF" is dumped by her "boyfriend" after he wastes 7 years of her youth. Do better, ladies. Ghost them after no more than 1.5 years without a ring. He's just not that into you. LET THIS BE ANOTHER DAILY REMINDER TO TAKE ZERO SHIT FROM THESE MEN. ZERO SHIT!!!!

_HEDONISM_BOT

November 30, 2019

106 upvotes

/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

https://np.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/e3z6lm/my_29m_boyfriend_broke_up_with_me_28f_after_7/

My (29m) boyfriend broke up with me (28f) after 7 years.

📷

We didn't have but one fight the whole time together and worked through most things. Just this last week he comes at me with a couple things he never brought up and didn't give me a chance to even work on with him. He simply just didn't want to work on a relationship anymore.

This being out of the blue threw my life upside down as he mentioned marriage and kids. Made me believe that's what he wanted with me.

Now I'm back at my parents because I was dumb enough to believe his reassurance when I objected to being so dependent on our relationship.

Already plans to buy a car I need and looking for a new apartment but damn. 7 years gone. I haven't cried since leaving I just have short breaths every now and then and my heart drops thinking of the fact who I thought was my other half is disinterested without notice. Does that go away soon, what else can I do to fake it till I believe it?

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Title	Another "Forever GF" is dumped by her "boyfriend" after he wastes 7 years of her youth. Do better, ladies. Ghost them after no more than 1.5 years without a ring. He's just not that into you. LET THIS BE ANOTHER DAILY REMINDER TO TAKE ZERO SHIT FROM THESE MEN. ZERO SHIT!!!!
Author	_HEDONISM_BOT
Upvotes	106
Comments	53
Date	November 30, 2019 8:44 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/e434ws/another_forever_gf_is_dumped_by_her_boyfriend/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/another-forever-gf-is-dumped-by-her-boyfriend.687723 https://theredarchive.com/post/687723

Comments

[–]randomgirlimokFDS Newbie109 points110 points111 points 6 years ago (26 children) | Copy Link

[–]_HEDONISM_BOTFDS STRATEGY COACH[S] 62 points63 points64 points 6 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link

He used her until he found someone else.

This is typically the case. I've been on OLD apps for almost a year now, and most men really have GFs or Wives and are looking for other women on the side. Most men cheat on their SO, if they can. This is one of the reasons I mass swipe on dudes and make them wait to even hear back from me. The married ones, and the ones with GFs sometimes disable/delete the app after a few days on it to avoid getting caught.

It takes men YEARS to find a woman who's willing to date them because they're suffering from a very low response rate, especially on online dating apps. Even "IRL approaching" and "cold approaching" has a very low success rate so the reason a lot of men are "loyal" is because other women are ignoring his attempts to cheat. Can't cheat if nobody's replying :/

I also recommend that every girl reading this go through her man's phone. Seriously. Obviously don't get caught, don't make it obvious, and maybe use spouseware... The reason I'm saying this is because the amount of men online who are cheating on their SO is staggering, and the amount of men who are married and secretly gay and hitting on my gay best friend is also staggering. Idk WTF to even make of it other than to literally warn the women on here that they're too trusting of their SO. I want every girl reading this to INSIST on making herself visible in his life. Make him update his social media to include photos of you, and to make sure your relationship isn't a secret. If he resists, it's probably because he's cheating or planning to cheat and needs to look single. A simple history check or phone check could help prevent you from finding out that your SO is cheating on you at an STD clinic after you're diagnosed with something.

[–]grimreapersdtrFDS Disciple33 points34 points35 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]CuriousCatNYC777Ruthless Strategist8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[+][deleted] 6 years ago* (10 children) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]_HEDONISM_BOTFDS STRATEGY COACH[S] 23 points24 points25 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]a-net_FDS Disciple11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]_HEDONISM_BOTFDS STRATEGY COACH[S] 6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]APrivatephilosophyFDS Disciple3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]_HEDONISM_BOTFDS STRATEGY COACH[S] 8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

it’s his wife blowing him up because he said he had to work late.

This is actually another reason I tell women to make these men take you out on expensive dates. The wife is ALWAYS watching the finances. There's rarely, if EVER, a situation where a $250 restaurant bill is missed by the wife or girlfriend. It rarely happens unless they're in a marriage with separate accounts and separate everything.

A man who isn't willing to splurge on an expensive date on you isn't just broke, he might be trying to keep his bank account from showing his wife that he was really at an expensive Steak Joint with you, instead of working late on those accounts like he said he was.

Expensive dinner dates save you a LOT of bullshit, and married men/taken men with GFs and a kid at home is just one of them. I PROMISE you that a man with a GF and kid(s) at home is having his bank accounts watched by the wife/GF more often than not, LOL.

If he's not willing to go out to that expensive restaurant, there's a good chance he's not that into you, or doesn't want his wife finding out. Either way, it's great grounds for ghosting his cheap conniving ass and saving you from wasting time on his bullshit.

[–]CuriousCatNYC777Ruthless Strategist6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]CSQUITO7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]CuriousCatNYC777Ruthless Strategist4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]CuriousCatNYC777Ruthless Strategist2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]mememe8888815 points 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Can confirm. With ex for 5 years, married for 4. Huge “Christian” always putting on a great front. Except he was always yelling at me, toward the end- drinking in excess and lying about it all of the time, and becoming really emotionally abusive. I had never checked his stuff before but one night, I just knew. Looked at his Facebook with all these messages to a woman he actually visited at her job and was telling her all about our marital issues. I forgave him. A few weeks later, I looked at his phone and yep, he was on match.com and looking up realllll weird stuff online. The next morning I called him out and he told me I was lying and crazy. Lol. I told him to leave. When he did, I packed up all me and my son’s stuff and left and divorced him. I have no clue if he did cheat on me. Never regretted leaving him, only wish I would have done it sooner without all the debt and baggage he left me in and with.

[–]__kamikaze__FDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]needsomecoffeefirstFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]APrivatephilosophyFDS Disciple8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]sigmahat 7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]APrivatephilosophyFDS Disciple1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]CSQUITO2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]arnaqFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]CuriousCatNYC777Ruthless Strategist6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]_HEDONISM_BOTFDS STRATEGY COACH[S] 9 points10 points11 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

You’re a placeholder until his dream woman comes along. This could be years of your youth!

We're both saying the same thing. MANY MANY men CANNOT get with their dream woman, so they'll bag a woman who's good enough, for now, and keep her occupied while he secretly shops around for another woman. So many men do this. I'm at the point where I legitimately believe that most men are either cheating on their SO, or trying to cheat on their SO, and the only thing keeping them "loyal" is the fact that other women are ignoring him on online dating apps.

I want every girl reading this to INSIST on being public on his social medias. Don't be his secret. Don't make it harder for the women he's trying to cheat on you with to figure out he has a GF and a kid, or a wife and kids. Be present in ALL of his social media profiles.

[–]CuriousCatNYC777Ruthless Strategist4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]grimreapersdtrFDS Disciple8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]a-net_FDS Disciple62 points63 points64 points 6 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]_HEDONISM_BOTFDS STRATEGY COACH[S] 43 points44 points45 points 6 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]a-net_FDS Disciple22 points23 points24 points 6 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]_HEDONISM_BOTFDS STRATEGY COACH[S] 21 points22 points23 points 6 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link

OLD men are mostly creeps and low quality men I will try to practice FDS strategies on. I am very careful now and assume every man OLD is taken before proven otherwise.

me too! I now send anonymous "hey your BF/Hubbs is cheating on you. Here's a screenshot of his OLD profiles." from fake google voice numbers to the wife/GF.

and my domestic abuser was basically an expert with dodging the law. He knew every legal move in the books. He knew that reputation would matter to a judge, would cite his service and lean on being a veteran to build an image in the eyes of the judge to make it look like he was an honorable citizen and tried to paint me out to be some crazy B*tch who was trying to ruin his reputation, which was quickly shattered to pieces once the judge read all of the abusive threats he sent me via text, which I kept and printed and brought with me to the hearings. He knew that if he never answered the door when police officers knocked, he could never be served, and a restraining order was useless since it couldn't be enforced because he was never served or heard in court. It was a MOTHERFUCKER to get justice because there were these little tricks that he would use to delay, and drag out the process. He'd slash my tires and since I didn't have security footage of him doing it, he'd argue that anyone could've done it. I had to install a security camera on my properties so if there was a random broken window, I'd catch him on tape doing it, or if my mail was stolen, I could catch him doing that. It was and still is a MOTHERFUCKER to get justice for these abusers. ESPECIALLY if they know the system well, and usually they do because they've been doing it to woman after woman after woman. He knew shit like the fact that footage taken in a private residence was inadmissable in court, and recordings where both parties would not consent to being recorded were also inadmissable in court.

Oh and background checking them is a MOTHERFUCKER too, unless you pay a lawyer or a PI to do it. Apparently, if he raped a woman in Orange County, Florida, and you met him in Denver, CO, and you didn't know he used to live in Florida, and you do a background check in Colorado's public case-search court records, his prior offenses won't show up. SO you literally have to background check his name in every county, in every city, province, and district, in commonwealths too, in every state, and US territory and freely associated state to know if he did something in the past. IT IS A MOTHERFUCKER to weed these men out.

[–]a-net_FDS Disciple6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]_HEDONISM_BOTFDS STRATEGY COACH[S] 8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

I am still in numerous legal battles where he accuses me of pretty much everything he can and I need to flee the country I am in despite him being a foreigner here (this however plays to my advantage in the courts)

Sounds like a nightmare. My ex is actually a police officer and he knew a lot of the judges, criminal defense lawyers, and legal clerks in the court system and to this day, IDK what strings/connections/loopholes he pulled, but his record doesn't show any of my civil actions and even the restraining order I was granted doesn't show up on his record. There's basically no record of him having done anything wrong and I have to carry around the paperwork which shows that there's a restraining order out on him, with me EVERYWHERE I go, so if I see him and call the cops, they can verify that he is indeed violating his peace order. He usually leaves before the cops show up, because he has a radio and can hear when they're close by. This is a MOTHERFUCKER to deal with. And they wonder why rape victims never speak out. They probably have, in the past... and then they ran into these same issues I describe here, plus many others I'm excluding because they're very identifying

[–]headytomatoFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]_HEDONISM_BOTFDS STRATEGY COACH[S] 9 points10 points11 points 6 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

Can confirm. Not worth the drama. Please also IMMEDIATELY BLOCK ANYONE WITH ANY LAW ENFORCEMENT OR ARMED FORCES BACKGROUND!

This means, IMMEDIATELY BLOCK FBI, CIA, NSA, DHS, Department of State, Secret service, and relevant folks. Even if he's "director of finance" there. BLOCK HIM. ALSO BLOCK: soldiers, marines, navy officers (even if he was "just an engineer/desk jockey). Cops, detectives, parole officers, even related professions like security guard/loss prevention, prison guard, BLOCK ALL MEN WITH ACCESS TO A GUN.

The men who are in these professions are notoriously prone to domestic violence and the communities of men in these professions go above and beyond in protecting rapists, domestic abusers, perpetrators, and violent criminals and don't give a fuck about their victims or women, in general.

[–]a-net_FDS Disciple3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lalalalilyx26 points27 points28 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]blackopium777FDS Apprentice38 points39 points40 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Ms_TillyRuthless Strategist16 points17 points18 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]blackopium777FDS Apprentice12 points13 points14 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Ms_TillyRuthless Strategist12 points13 points14 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]_HEDONISM_BOTFDS STRATEGY COACH[S] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]AnniaTFDS Disciple9 points10 points11 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]cincy4483FDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I don’t think I agree with this advice, and it’s really painful for her to see this posting. Obviously she’s going through a horrible, life-altering situation right now and I hate that someone’s trying to make an example out of her. I was also in a 7 year relationship and I’m glad it didn’t end in marriage.. we started dating when we were in high school, I went to college and he was in the military, then he moved home and we realized we weren’t the same people anymore. We had originally thought that we would get married when he came home from the military and had been planning on it, but life happens. Everyone’s circumstances are different and we don’t know everyone’s story. Although I agree, there are some “forever girlfriends” out there that need to wake up, I don’t think it’s kind to capitalize on heartbreak like this.

[–]_HEDONISM_BOTFDS STRATEGY COACH[S] 8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

Obviously she’s going through a horrible, life-altering situation right now and I hate that someone’s trying to make an example out of her. I was also in a 7 year relationship and I’m glad it didn’t end in marriage..

This is a fair point, and I agree with you that it might be hurtful for this specific OP to see her situationship/relationship used as a warning example for other women but c'mon. Let's be fair. A LOT of women are in relationships with men, who they would otherwise dump, if not for the possibility of them being on the same page when it comes to marriage.

My ex fiance managed to squeeze 3 years out of me before I found out he wasn't serious about marriage before I ghosted his ass and tons of women have this same exact story. "He PROMISED we were going to get married!" "He bought the ring, booked the venue, and helped me dress shop and now he dumped me!". "He left after our son was born, right after he proposed!". These men walk out on ALL types of women, children too, and it often leads to women being abused, women being abandoned, and women AND children suffering the consequences of a man's deception, lies, and depravity. I try to warn others so they can at least be informed, dump his ass, and even if they don't... at least I hope my advice prepared them for homelessness when shit hits the fan.

This is ABSOLUTELY a manipulation tactic used by men to lead women on and get women to stay in relationships longer than they should have just because they dangle "marriage" and play the role and fool us all into wasting precious youth on them fucking and sucking them while they lie to our faces about the certainty of our futures. I have ZERO doubt that if this particular OP had a subreddit like this where she saw other women routinely warn you about red flags and things to lookout for and shit that men pull, she might have been more informed in the course of her relationship and perhaps she might have wasted 1 year or 2 years, or zero years like I did with my most recent ex.

There is NO SHAME in making mistakes and trying to help other women steer clear of red flags you fell for. This is not to say that it isn't hurtful and that her perspective doesn't matter. It's to shed light about how fucked up men really are. I'm certain this particular OP is a brilliant, beautiful young woman, but she fell for the bullshit. Just like I did, just like many women reading this did, and we are trying to prevent female suffering, not keep score or make examples out of each others. NOTHING's wrong with learning, growth, or warning others about pitfalls, bullshit, and lies they might be falling for and I will be the FIRST to admit that I WISH FDS existed 15 years ago when I first started dating. Who knows, maybe she can lurk on here and modify future/current dating behaviors to avoid falling for a useless fuckboy like this one again. I am a FIRM believer that a tragedy should never go to waste. If a man goes out of his way to lie to you, deceive you about your future, and fool you into wasting years of youth on him, then the damage is already done. The heartbreak has already been inflicted by the male in question. Learning about it and maximizing the amount of warnings and teachings that could be squeezed out of the scenario doesn't change the circumstance. It helps other women recognise red flags, pit falls, lies, and bullshit they might be blind to (or consciously ignoring), in their own situation. I certainly have and I receive thank you mail each day from women who took my advice and dodged bullets, grenades, and bombshell worthless men at the 1 week, 1 month, or 1 year stage.

[–]rizzo1717FDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points 6 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]_HEDONISM_BOTFDS STRATEGY COACH[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]rizzo1717FDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

You are absolutely right about common law. And in CA, common law is about as solidifying as a legal marriage, AND pre nups do very little to protect you against state law.

BUT. I think it’s important to remember - a ring is just a ring. Papers are just papers. A dress is just a dress. None of these guarantee commitment. I can attest to this, because it seems like 90% of the men I attract (for whatever fucking reason 🤦🏻‍♀️) are married men. You can pressure/manipulate/coerce/persuade/enchant a man intro marrying you/doing all these nice things/having a ceremony, but unless he is ready and committed, at the end of the day it isn’t going to mean shit. A ring is a ring. A ring is not commitment. Is it more important to have a ring and ceremony from someone who isn’t ready to commit but has been given an ultimatum? Or would you be just as happy with someone who is doting and attentive and faithful who doesn’t want to get married? Just keep some perspective, is all I’m suggesting. To some women, getting married is their end game. That’s all they want: their perfect little wedding they’ve planned since they were little. And i don’t understand that at all, because in the big picture, that’s just ONE perfectly planned idealistic day out of a lifetime commitment. But to each their own. My friend’s mom has been married 11 times. Clearly, the horse and pony show is more important to her than the commitment.

[–]_HEDONISM_BOTFDS STRATEGY COACH[S] 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]rizzo1717FDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]_HEDONISM_BOTFDS STRATEGY COACH[S] 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]rizzo1717FDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]TheLastUBenderFDS Disciple1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link