When you are straight forward about your standards...

outside-perception · 2020-07-06T02:18:20+00:00

"hard to love"

"stubborn"

"fierce"

I'll take it

ldonnawho · 2020-07-06T03:18:51+00:00

OR they call you mean. If being nice is tolerating men's bullshit and living to please them...then I wanna stay mean

CassieGreen85 · 2020-07-06T03:52:07+00:00

If you call anyone on their bullshit: you're so CRAZY/EMOTIONAL

Unlikely-Marzipan · 2020-07-06T06:23:20+00:00

Yep! All. The. Time.

I got cold hearted, bitch, crazy, nut job. Blah blah blah. Usually from men because I’m not tolerating their shit. Or sometimes from women who are bad friends. But yea, always from someone who can benefit from me being too soft and allowing them to walk all over me.

Which is crazy because I’m actually a really kind, and overly sensitive person, which most people will say first off, and that I’m warm. It’s actually been a barrier to me getting a sales job because they think I’m too sweet and nice, and will be walked all over. When actually is a benefit because I’m nice, but with form boundaries when I need to use them. You can’t win 🙄

-badmadAM · 2020-07-06T05:08:17+00:00

[deleted]

PooPooMeeks · 2020-07-06T12:19:46+00:00

Honestly, I have never been able to keep friends continuously my whole life because of this, and I’m about to turn 40! Now mind you, I’m very codependent in relationships and have my issues with letting LVM go, but when it comes to friends, mainly girl-friends, after awhile if i see a pattern of them flaking out, using me, treating me as a “second banana” or just inviting me so I can be the “sober driver,” as soon as I confront them, they get butthurt, and the friendship is OVER. No compromises, just mainly hurtful words and POOF! -over, or a gradual process of “phasing me out.” For example, the “sober driver” and “second banana” issues happened when i was in my 20s. In both situations I confronted the women, letting them know i was uncomfortable with their treatment of me. I would be mildly confrontational, but still yet, after me standing up for myself they couldn’t get over it. They either ignored me as if I didn’t exist, or Invite me to parties and then use that time to purposely ignore me until I said “fuck it” and just left.

Countless other stories have happened too like this in my life. So nowadays I always say, friends come and go, and you can always make new friends. But honestly, I’d like to have at least a few friends that will stick with you, even if you have a few arguments. Some that you can grow old and be “Golden Girls” with. Because men can NOT be trusted. So in the end, we have to learn to love ourselves and evolve, with the focus on not depending on others, because friends can be MAJORLY flaky 👍🏾

Elegant-Stop · 2020-07-06T13:05:48+00:00

I don’t know if it’s because I’m still young or live in a big city or I just have good friends, but no one in my life has ever told me my standards are too high.

Typing this out though just inspires me to raise my standards even more until someone in my life comments ahaha 😈

warinmymind94 · 2020-07-06T20:12:51+00:00

What they dont tell you about leveling up with your personal life and dating is that a lot of people wont like you and will turn you into the villain. Theyll be mad you have standards and boundaries. They might not understand why you want plans made rather than dropping eveything at the last minute to "hangout". You'll be called lots of names like "bitch, difficult, uptight, a karen, demanding, high maintenance and a golddigger". When I started leveling up I began with friendships. My female friend sticks people for money over and over and looks for handouts and free rides places. She was saying we should do a beach trip. I agreed and said I was down to drive and she would need to chip in $20 upfront between the gas, tolls, beach fee and then parking for the boardwalk (and 20 is in the cheap end considering is over 2 hours of a drive one way). She began complaining. I simply said if you want to go you give me the $20 before we leave the house, and if not you dont come. She complained i should give it to her for free and she didnt have the $20 🤡 so I said that's fine, you can hire an uber or drive yourself and then let me know if that's any cheaper, you'll be surprised. Shes also the same girl that is driving her parents old car and wont drive anywhere if the tank is low because she waits for her parents to pay for and fill up the tank 🤡. I havent seen her in over a year and havent been talking with her. You need to be ready to level up you'll loose a lot of asshole people, but you'll realize and value the good people in your life even more.

SuchBarracuda · 2020-07-06T15:14:30+00:00

Sounds like my workplace... people blame me for their "you" problem.. Now the manager just earned a very nasty complaint letter for starting a fight he cant finish.

the_parameters_align · 2020-07-06T02:35:47+00:00

The name calling is to shatter autonomy: Difficult-you didn't give in to the other's pressure to do whatever. Crazy-because you care about your own wellbeing and show autonomy. Bitter-because you aren't happy with being treated negatively.

survivinghsp · 2020-07-06T10:17:36+00:00

this is the reason why I'm alone

redfarmmmmm · 2020-07-07T06:31:05+00:00

the worst is when they call you full of drama.

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