Where to go after TRP?

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December 26, 2018
75 upvotes

I've found the advice and all of the subreddit helpful but that it falls short when it comes to connecting to people deeply and creating strong, long-term relationships (not even romantically, but with friends and family). I just feel autistic after reading things like The 48 Laws of Power and TRP posts at this point.

Where can I find resources and guidance toward touching this more wholesome aspect of existence that TRP never touches upon?


Post Information
Title Where to go after TRP?
Author EmbarrassingPostAcc
Upvotes 75
Comments 50
Date 26 December 2018 04:52 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/71613
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/a9q4bo/where_to_go_after_trp/
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Comments

[–]_the_shape_41 points42 points  (2 children) | Copy

I just feel autistic after reading things like The 48 Laws of Power and TRP posts at this point.

Where can I find resources and guidance toward touching this more wholesome aspect of existence that TRP never touches upon?

More reading is going to deepen that autistic feeling if you don't start conversing with people in real life. It sounds to me like you're trying to develop a more profound level of sympathy for others. Reading all the literature in the world regarding this subject might make you feel like you've made some headway in this direction without ever actually doing anything, so take note.

A lot of newbies make this mistake: "Shit, I'm drowning in theory and seemed to have lost my way. Help! Anyone know of any other material I can read to theory my way back out? K thx bye!"

Think of it from now on as earning your right to theory. You speak to a handful of people, you get to read. Videos on working out will show you what to do, but you don't build your body watching YouTube videos, and you don't build your character reading books or blog posts, not without putting in the actual work, that is.

You should be aiming for an imbalance, a very disproportionate ratio of action versus theory. If you find yourself paralyzed with fear to strike up conversations with strangers, freezing up during interactions, feeling awkward during conversations, attacking yourself with self-criticisms afterward, then you'd be doing yourself a serious solid if you neglected TRP and any other reading material for a sustained period of time.

Anyone can read move their eyes over words forms and lines. Not everyone can initiate, let alone hold, an engaging conversation.

[–]xeroblaze07 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Think of it from now on as earning your right to theory. You speak to a handful of people, you get to read. Videos on working out will show you what to do, but you don't build your body watching YouTube videos, and you don't build your character reading books or blog posts, not without putting in the actual work, that is.

This needs to be said twice

[–]1Shyrk5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

You should be aiming for an imbalance, a very disproportionate ratio of action versus theory.

This is actual a very powerful and well-stated insight.

It’s a great and almost literal parallel to art or music - you can play those games without really knowing the theory, if you delve too pedantically into the theory, your art will become stilted, boring and predictable. And striving for this same aforementioned imbalance, weighted far more heavily toward action, will produce the greatest results.

[–]CRGRO66 points67 points  (14 children) | Copy

Turn inside to yourself and start becoming the master of your own kingdom.

Now that you know the game is real, now that you know the rules, and now that you're ready to play - step in with full possession of your life.

There's the outside world that tells you who you are, and the world inside that tells you who you are. Wear the suit you want to the degree it's reconciled within the two and to the degree it's within the rules of the game we're all playing.

You're enough, stop looking where to go and go wherever you want. Don't hate the game, love the game because you're in it. You might as well own your life within it. Once you're the boss of yourself you'll find wearing the suit a good time, because it's your suit and you decided to wear it.

[–]subrosa21511 points12 points  (11 children) | Copy

This just sounds like more controlling TRP motivational fluff. Finding a local mens group to get involved with is way more helpful then trying to tell yourself to just be the boss of your life. Also learning about letting go and surrendering control to higher power makes life a hell of a lot easier then pretending you're the big bad wolf in control of everything. (SPOILER ALERT: you're not.)

[–]dtyler862 points3 points  (10 children) | Copy

Higher power? No offense, but are you in recovery? Im not, and the absence of a higher power empowers me to make the most of every situation. The higher power thing to me sounds like a “let them take the reigns” cop out to me

[–]subrosa2150 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy

I am in recovery. How does the absence of a higher power empower you to make the most of every situation?

Having a higher power isnt a cop out at all. Its acknowledging that I can't run the show with my own egoic control. I did that for years with all the self help bullshit and still felt empty. Sure I deluded myself into thinking I was making the most out of life by pretending that I was in control but it was all an illusion fueled by insecurity. As opposed to letting go thru the spiritual path.

If you join a local mens group you're not gonna hear this bullshit motivational stuff like you find on the internet. You're gonna find a place where you can let go and be your authentic Self, shadow and all.

[–]dtyler861 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy

I live in the rehab capital of the country, lots of my friends are in recovery and have had unbelievable success with this mindset, I just don’t think it’s for everyone. I think the cold, sad acknowledgement to myself that there is no heaven, likely no afterlife and in my opinion, no conscious god; it sucks. That said, I routinely remind myself that no matter how bad a situation is, I will be very old one day and my problems right now won’t matter, but my fleeting time alive will; it puts control in my grasp and I dont feel it requires relinquishing anything.

All that said, more power to you and congratulations, sincerely. These are just my opinions

[–]subrosa2152 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

I appreciate your opinion brother. I will say that you dont need to believe in an idea of heaven, the after life, or a conscious God to have a higher power. All the best to ya! :)

[–]dtyler861 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

Likewise! Just curious, you in Sofla?

[–]subrosa2150 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Nope

[–]subrosa2150 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Just wanna add that from what/how you wrote "sad aknowledgement" "it sucks" when talking higher power makes it seem like theres a part of you somewhere inside that wishes it were true, but you just dont feel it to be currently. Correct me if I'm wrong please. But ya I felt the same way for years and then once I got out of my own way using the tools that were gifted to me I was able to feel the presence of a higher power. Its not an intellectual thing as it must be experienced. If you've never had an orgasm there ain't enough explaining in the world that will replace the feeling of it.

[–]dtyler860 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

No you’re right. I do wish I believed that stuff, but I just don’t. Watching ducks in a park, acknowledging that if one of them gets hit by a car it’s probably not going to a heaven, biologically not believing my “soul“ is more worthy than theirs really leaves me scientifically observing life as it is and all of the higher power believes as something I just can’t have faith in.

[–]subrosa2150 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I hear ya man. Theres actually a lot of hard science that now backs more ancient spiritual views of the world (interconnectedness, illusion of reality "maya" etc). Its hard when talking about higher power most folks assume were talking the Judeo Christian God in the sky. I dont believe in a higher power. Belief can imply that it's not "real" tangible, yet you still believe it to be true. I know the higher power and feel it on a daily basis. Theres a subtle yet important difference there.

[–]subrosa2150 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

In a mystical state of consciousness the illusion of separation would melt away and you'd see those ducks in the park as you. The real and true essence of you. The spirit/soul of the universe in all. Not the ego that tells you who you think you are as separate from those ducks. So then it's not a question of whether you or the duck is more worthy to go to heaven, cuz death is an illusion and you've already been in heaven (unified consciousness) your whole life internally/eternally, despite what the egoic mind and all its delusions of separation like to trick us into thinking.

[–]the1pope2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

What post/books opened your eyes to the red pill?

[–]red_matrix9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Pook

[–]zboo1h100 points101 points  (1 child) | Copy

The gym.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

/thread

[–]Joeboard12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

I sometimes think this place is crazy cult like, but then i come across real world scenarios that are talked about on here over and over again and really makes me think stuff like AWALT is 100% true.

I take what I need to take from here, and I assume most other users are the same.

[–]HectoSexual33 points34 points  (6 children) | Copy

Get out of the gym, get out of the books, get off TRP and get into the real world.

TRP essentially teaches weaponized autism. It’s insanely useful and practical data, but it needs to be balanced with actual real world experience with real people.

Don’t forget, the organic Chads of the world never studied red pill theory a day in their life. They are out there actually making shit happen.

Don’t be the loser who learned game. Become the winner who never needed to.

[–][deleted]7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

good reply, everything here needs to be taken w/ a grain of salt

[–]ThinSpiritual3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

TRP essentially teaches weaponized autism.

Right in the feels bro.

[–]HectoSexual0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I get it, and it’s honestly the truth.

You know why all these professional redpillers are constantly shouting to the heavens “go to the gym!” on literally every post?

Because you don’t have to talk to anyone at the gym.

[–]BigWeenus42 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

It's to improve your physique, which is its intended function. How do you not realize that?

[–]HectoSexual0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Are you really new here? Or just dumb?

I’m offering a meta-critique of the “redpill” obsession with being inside of a gym.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

This sounds cliche as fuck but love yourself and people will love you naturally. When you look at yourself in the mirror and feel pride, you feel that dopamine rush, that vibe carries over your day to day relationships with people and people are attracted to that. They will want to talk to you and form friendships/romantic relationships with you.

That happens mostly in the gym, as your physical appearance is always the first impression people have about you. The rest happens when you have a mission and you generally have your shit together.

Where can I find resources and guidance toward touching this more wholesome aspect of existence that TRP never touches upon?

This is The Red Pill. Don't make the mistake of thinking TRP is just about women. In fact, it's not about women at all, it's that people initially come here to improve their chances at getting laid. Once they make their first post and people call them out on their bullshit and tell them to read the sidebar, that's when they realise that TRP is entirely about making men better, in a non-feminist, politically incorrect way. Women are attracted to these better men, and so are other men, in a different way.

If you have truly internalised the lessons here and have gathered a large social toolkit so-to-speak, then get out there and make those relationships happen. There aren't any books with magic spells to allow to form relationships with people 100% of the time. As with all things, practice makes perfect.

[–]ElegantCyclist18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy

Build your business, meet people in real life, fuck hot chicks, develop skills, go to the library, keep reading books, hit the gym.

[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Once you understand TRP, you realize that we live in a clown world. Up is down, left is right, cats are dogs, and so on.

This information is inherently isolating: the deeper you get, the more you are out of rapport with the relationships your current-you has inherited.

A natural consequence of this, for many guys, is a re-sorting of relationships. Before TRP, I had mostly female friends. Now, I have entirely male friends. Before TRP, I like meeting strangers. Now, I think most of them are idiots and prefer the company of my close circle.

When you start living authentically and stop following the plan, it's like you're un-mooring from the safe harbor and entering the choppy waters of the open sea. Out thar be danger, yes -- and treasure.

Ultimately, it's up to you to create meaning. There are a few reliable ways to do that. One is find a way of making money that serves your own values, and then to make a shit-ton of it. Another is to become religious, and humble yourself to something greater. Frankly, if you can get past the ritualistic silliness, belief in a higher power is a great source of meaning. I now believe in God and reincarnation. I know it's stupid and silly, but it makes me feel good and helps me do good, so fuck it.

This is the price of the Red Pill: you have to forge your own meaning. Not everyone succeeds at this. But you can't throw the pill up, so you'd best get to it.

[–]Zanford2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

Go outside and approach.

If your game is strong, you WILL get fulfilling relationships. That is the easy part. That will come very naturally and easy if you have gotten a girl very attracted to you. She will get into the shit you are into, she will cook, and offer all sexual favors you can think of, give you time alone when you want, etc.

You do not need a bunch of separate theory adn books on maintaining a strong relationship. Just maintain the same TRP principle during the relationship and all will be golden.

[–]Puddles503-3 points-2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Wow. That game may get a little beta bitch wife who will put up with said games and do as you wish until she poisons you...

Carry out what you've just stated and you will never form a genuine human connection and will never experience the power said connection can create.

The OP wants more and rightfully so. How old are you? 21?

[–]Zanford2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

You: https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/facebook/000/011/869/internet_white_knight_colored_4350.jpg

TRP applies to relationships. It's that simple. It's very obvious you've never had a woman who happily cooked or offered sexually favors. If you think these things could only ever happen due to 'games' and it make a woman 'a beta bitch', you have serious mental problems and you have obviously never made a woman genuinely attracted you. (And this is doubly pathetic given that you're obviously much older than 21 and still have never had this.)

btw 'beta bitch' is a term that only applies to men. Learn your TRP101, then come back. There's the sidebar ->

Consider the sidebar your Christmas present. Bye bye little guy. Merry Christmas.

[–]Puddles503-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

Nope, still disagree. While you can use the same theory to get sex it doesn't translate into a LTR based on connection...that takes an individualized approach. One theory can't make you connect with every woman on the planet and fill unique needs/wants.

[–]Zanford0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You're trying to be rational now and talk actual shop, I'll give you that.

But you're still falling for an old blue pill talking point that lust and connection are independent axes. Far from it. A woman being in love with you and forming a 'connection' is VERY closely associated with her being in lust with you and sexually desiring you.

Your disagreements are entirely with strawmen in your own head:

While you can use the same theory to get sex it doesn't translate into a LTR based on connection...that takes an individualized approach.

"same theory" != "same approach". I don't think you even understand what the word theory means. One theory can encompass many different subcases.

You seem to have a straw man idea that 'TRP' is one like set script of canned pick up lines that you go through the same way every time. Far from it. You really need to read the sidebar.

One theory can't make you connect with every woman on the planet and fill unique needs/wants.

Straw man here. Again. TRP does not claim to make you connect with every woman on the planet. In fact, you should know that it emphasizes a selective approach where you are quick to "c'est la vie" and walk way from an approach, fling, or LTR that just doesn't seem that great and worth your time, and focus on the slice of women you do have the best rapport with (which you might notice is a certain 'type'). This is pretty basic stuff. You really need to read the sidebar.

[–]Puddles503-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I never said lust and connection are mutually exclusive, they are both equally important for any LTR. It's my opinion that TRP addresses the latter somewhat poorly and could improve there. TRP crafts it's own strawman in the sidebar to some extent and could improve by not generalizing certain aspects. It's easy to highlight the differences between the sexes and identify needs but a much different discussion when it comes to long term mutual satisfaction. TRP is a starting point for discussion not a proven theory...obviously.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Creating strong long term relationships is luck more than skill. Picking potential candidates for this sort of thing can be a skill, but people change, life changes you.

I hold onto all connections, I constantly search for new ones. That's life. Make new connections, be good to them, don't take advantage or let them take advantage of you. Work towards goals together on small things with them, if they do well try something bigger till they fail or you fail. See what shakes out.

Resources... Nope I'm just an ape. Good luck.

[–]mrpoopistan1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not to sound too dickish, but TRP isn't about the wholesome aspects of existence. Or, more accurately, it's about the idea that if you're not prepared for interpersonal conflict and social game playing, then you're flat-out not prepared for the world we live in.

creating strong, long-term relationships

Only one thing creates strong, long-term relationships. That's being in the shit together with someone. There isn't a magical formula. Humans are hardwired to bond with the people that stand by their sides during difficult situations. It's not an accident that the same chemical that bonds mothers to their babies is the one that also controls the war buddy bond.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I've found the advice and all of the subreddit helpful but that it falls short when it comes to connecting to people deeply and creating strong, long-term relationships (not even romantically, but with friends and family).

You dont say...

TRP and stuff like 48 rules of power have merit to them. Theres the people you should save your empathy and the real connections for and the others. The others can be either people you have no interest on so you just avoid each other and keep things polite or they can be lower sorts you cant avoid so at least you can put them to use (or else they will do it to you. Theres types you simply cant avoid in one way or another). TRP and 48 RoP are ideal for such sorts. Needless to say you should try to avoid them like the plague, not actively seek them out.

I think most people who replied have missed OP's point. I think that what he meant was that he wanted real connections with people he could actually like and be at peace with, not some ho or glorified trad ho he has to game constantly and can never let his guard down around of, or people he has to wear a mask to.

I dont think TRP covers that part, thats more the realm of self knowledge and philosophy.

[–]randarrow0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Gym/work/nature/school/meetup.com

[–]TheStumblingWolf0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Have you read No more mr nice guy? It deals with such matters.

[–]KilluaKanmuru0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The streamentry subreddit

[–]Thisismybot80 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Literally everywhere else on the Internet is full of sappy shit. I recommend the book how to win friends and influence people but you might find that "autistic" too

[–]st-johnson0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Live a virtuous life

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K180 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I needed to read this thread. There are so many ways to look at TRP. Yes, there is a majority of young guys, who just want to bang women. That's understandable.

On a surface level, the RP is simply about recognizing the blue pill illusions that don't work. Nobody truly wants a man, who sacrifices himself for others, is overly polite, operates on covert contracts, forms oneitis, doesn't assert himself, and is disconnected from his authentic masculine. A man who has lost his balls.

At first, the RP advice can be a superficial solution. Lift, act like Chad, be totally aloof. In other words, a RP robot.

For myself, TRP actually redirects me to seeking a deeper feeling of meaning. Basically wipe away the BP horseshit, of sacrifice, unconditional love, and ultimate approval coming from women.

Instead, women are a small part, and usually just a catalyst for why many men find TRP. RP taught me to put that area of life in proper perspective. Instead...rediscover my own meaning, my own mission, and don't ever compromise on those things. Don't have a mission, simply so it looks like I'm busy to women. Truly have mission, because that's where true self esteem, self worth and self acceptance comes from. Not through other's approval.

It is ok to not be a RP robot, and get left feeling empty. You can be a man of integrity, compassion, values. When it comes to your relationships, however, RP is just a guide to help them work for you. You are allowed to have connection. You are allowed to talk to women, and expose your authentic self. That keeps you real. Just as long as the RP truths stay in the back of your head. Be strong, be masculine, stay on mission, fulfill your own needs.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The first and most useful "philosophy" book I read in my life was The Tao of Jeet Kune Do, by Bruce Lee. He says: "Absorb what is useful, reject what is useless, add what is essentially your own."

[–]GregTRP0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Outside.

[–]RedHeMan0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Heartiste

Blackdragon

Wall St. Playboys

Western Mastery

[–]SidewaysCircle-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Try some LSD



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