Friends hanging out with cheating ex - dropped them

RunawayGrain · 2020-07-21T14:49:36+00:00

They weren't your friends, they were her orbiters.

volvostupidshit · 2020-07-21T13:04:20+00:00

[deleted]

Psychological_Radish · 2020-07-21T14:54:05+00:00

The problem with having desperate Blue Pill/Beta friends is that oftentimes loyalty goes out the window when there's some pussy around, even if that pussy is your ex. They're in a scarcity mindset, they don't know many girls, and your ex just happens to be there.

spcparks · 2020-07-21T16:51:49+00:00

Bruh you ain’t being unreasonable at all. That shit is fucked up. You must be on the younger side. I’m assuming around 20-25?

Once you get over your 20s you realize that most friends were never your friends. They were just people who hung around you for what you offered them. You are lucky to have 1-2 real friends who would never pull shit like that.

Just be happy they showed their true colors and they would do it again in a heartbeat.

Drop em fast and work on yourself. Those chumps are the type to hold you back when you start succeeding in life

eatdiz135 · 2020-07-21T14:49:12+00:00

Glad to see most of us are on the same page.

To me regardless of BP or RP it’s about respect and staying loyal to your friends. For all I care these guys are fucking snakes and they deserve each other.

Guess women wouldn’t understand cause even women hate women, go figure.

FULLCAPSBRO · 2020-07-21T14:43:09+00:00

There's something wrong with your mom, why the fuck would she say that.

Your friends violated you. Fuck 'em.

Tambamwham · 2020-07-21T18:57:39+00:00

You did the right thing. Welcome to the big leagues. Learning that no ones really gives a fuck about you, they only care about themselves, and you’re on your own in this world is one of the most important things you can learn. And you need to tell your mom that if she doesn’t really support you and care about your feelings then tell her maybe you two should take a step back as well.

otamatonedeaf · 2020-07-21T13:53:12+00:00

And its normal for your mom to say your behavior is unreasonable. That's how you know you're doing the right thing. Moms are preprogrammed subconsciously to defend the bullshit sisterhood that is all females, some worse than others.

ThreeEyez · 2020-07-21T18:42:05+00:00

I had something similar like that happen. We aren’t friends anymore. Fuck those guys.

SeasonedRP · 2020-07-21T14:00:01+00:00

I'm surprised at your mom's comment. What they did isn't the kind of thing friends do to each other. You were right to drop them.

Askmeiwontsaynot · 2020-07-21T15:07:47+00:00

What a bunch of bastards

eatdiz135 · 2020-07-21T21:20:06+00:00

Mannnnnnnn I went through the exact same thing literally a year ago. One of my best buddies in high school, who I also ended up rooming with throughout college, defended his friendship with my gf of 3 yrs after she cheated on me and said he still wanted to hangout with her.... they had no friendship prior to our relationship and only saw each other when i would bring my her around.

Blocked both of their numbers and haven't looked back.

Elprez91 · 2020-07-21T15:26:19+00:00

Ghost the lot of them brother

mrbill1234 · 2020-07-21T18:22:20+00:00

Don't hang around people who are not a benefit to you, have your interests at heart, and make you want to be a better person.

theguytheguy1000 · 2020-07-21T22:39:04+00:00

beta males can't be trusted when it comes to matters of women.

straight up.

FlyingPigs3210 · 2020-07-22T00:29:51+00:00

My ex instantly started dating my best friend. They’re still together but since then I’ve added 10 pounds of muscle, became a bomb cook, travel and see a lot more of my friends, got a new job and make bank, bought a motorcycle, whitened my teeth and am fucking girls better. Hurt for a long time but then I realized I’m the winner so lol at her for grabbing on to a beta buck and lol at him for picking up my trash. Godspeed

rpthrowaway1104 · 2020-07-21T13:12:56+00:00

Yeah - to be honest if this doesn't indicate that your friends are inconsiderate, it certainly demonstrates their own lack of abundance and pedestalization of the pussy.

Herdsengineers · 2020-07-21T19:01:34+00:00

You're right to drop them. They were spying on you for your cheating ex- for pete's sake. They don't deserve to even be told they're dropped. They aren't worth the courtesy.

You're mom's wrong, but don't bother arguing with her about it. Not worth it either. It's just one of those things that if she gets pushy in the future, just tell her you didn't invite her to have input into that decision to drop them, and you're still not, decision is made, and you don't have to justify yourself to her.

Kakashi_hatake707 · 2020-07-21T20:48:39+00:00

You made the right decision.

As for your mother, I think she's in the wrong here, but I wouldn't bother arguing with her.

DizzyDoomSlayer · 2020-07-21T20:56:01+00:00

These guys are like a tumor. Only solution is to cut them off.

TBtgoat · 2020-07-21T21:41:36+00:00

I’ve always lived by that same code, however you treat me I will intensify it and reflect it back onto you. Treat me like a good friend, I’ll treat you like my family. Treat me like a bad friend, I’ll treat you like you’re dead.

Fuck those niggas, keep grinding and stay tunnel visioned on your goals.

wanker7171 · 2020-07-21T23:40:26+00:00

I have a similar story where the guy is an actual friend

Before I broke out of my BP stage I was dating this girl I thought I was in love with. She dumped me and that shit fucked me up for a long time. My close friends witnessed just how badly it affected me and tried their best to help me get my mind off her.

Fast forward five years to when I started reading TRP and I started realizing that I didn't give a fuck about her. She ended up reaching out to one of my mates on Bumble saying that it was always her fantasy to get fucked by him. Now this guy happens to be the first friend I've ever made as we met in kindergarten. He's the best ladies' man I know, is a personal trainer with his own gym, and was even asked to join the USA triathlon team. He shut her down immediately.

Did I ask him not to? No. Did I care if he fucked her? No. He did it because we're friends and the smallest chance of hurting me was too much of a risk for him. Hell he didn't even tell me he shut her down, I learned all about it from my ex because she angrily thought I was actively interfering. It was such a small thing but that's the mark of a true friend.

BlondeHornyElf · 2020-07-22T01:51:15+00:00

Dude same thing happened to me earlier this year.

It was a girl I dated for 5 years. She cheats on me with a married co-worker friend of mine and tries to get me fired from my job by telling the department that I was "abusive". My friends also saw how much this fucked me up as well.

So time passes and one day my friend invites me to a party where she's there with her new boyfriend. I'm like wtf so I go talk to her. She tells me my friend suggested his friend to move into my ex's boyfriend's rental apartment. So without telling me anything he's building my ex girlfriend into his personal life.

When I confront him about it he acts dumb like he doesn't understand why that would upset me. When he asks me what he can do I say he can apologize and promise not to do this kind of thing going forward. He says he did nothing wrong and that he'll "pray for me".

So I freak out and demand that he meets me in person to discuss this because we've been close friends for 20 years (since highschool). He basically avoids me for two months and then when I finally see him he gives me a bunch of excuses and says his other friend was giving him shit for something similar.

I part amicably with him but I realized I can't trust this guy. This wasn't just some girl that I was hanging out with that I introduced to my friends. This was a girl I invested in and got burned hard despite being an overall decent guy. There's just no way I can see her around and be neutral about it, whether I'm seeing someone new or not. And my friend doesn't seem to understand that somehow even though we're in our 30s. He certainly doesn't invite his own ex-gfs to events.

I was really disappointed but I'm just phasing this guy out now. I'm really amazed that a grown man would disrespect a childhood friend that would care about him until the end. But ya, for a blue-piller a bit of attention from a woman is a huge success and can't be passed up, even if it's your best friend's cheating whore of an ex-girlfriend.

Funny enough when I mentioned it to my Mom she also said I was over-reacting at first. Sorry Mom, I expect a little more than that from my closest friends.

Beginning-Ninja · 2020-07-21T23:22:38+00:00

Good on you. This is extremely hard to do. Most will leave it alone like a hanging band-aid.

Snowaey · 2020-07-21T23:29:29+00:00

Your mom is saying you're unreasonable for that???

Jesus christ

haasteagle · 2020-07-21T18:58:07+00:00

Nah fuck 'em. You made the right call.

bottled_butts · 2020-07-21T22:23:18+00:00

Friends are future enemies.

agjrpsl · 2020-07-21T22:37:52+00:00

Never trust anyone.

cracksniffer666 · 2020-07-21T22:56:04+00:00

Yeahhhh, sounds like thirsty little fuckers that were just waiting to pounce on her whenever you fucked up.

Bottomfeeding orbiters, not friends.

aDrunkenWhaler · 2020-07-22T01:29:32+00:00

The biggest problem I see in this is that your mom is not loyal to you. She sides with your cheating ex and with your 'friends'.

Regarding your 'friends', fuck em.

MerryVegetableGarden · 2020-07-21T23:54:09+00:00

The same.

eatdiz135 · 2020-07-22T02:47:53+00:00

Could also be that she was fairly close with my ex as well. But fuck that shit pissed me off hearing from my own mother it was unreasonable doing what I did.

Bakari7 · 2020-07-22T03:56:41+00:00

Trust is huge. There is probably some secret jealousy there dropping them was the right decision.

spartan_samurai · 2020-07-22T06:24:12+00:00

In life you realize that some friends are rats and as soon as you find those rats stop spending time with them.

QueenSlapFight · 2020-07-21T22:50:13+00:00

A man doesn't get emotional and drop his friends at the drop of a hat. However a man should be decisive and able to make hard decisions based on the reality of a situation.

If the rolls were reversed, how do you think you would have to feel about your friend to betray him like they have betrayed you? Could you do that to a person you're "close" with?

So while I'm sure you feel angry, is your decision being made by that anger, or is it your rational evaluation of what's happen, how you've been treated, and what it means? Base your decision on your values, not how upset you may be.

If it's any help if I were in your shoes I would no longer be friends with those men. I know it would upset me to be treated that way, but beyond that, it shows they have no real loyalty to you, and your "bond" is only as far as it benefits them. There are plenty of men out there who share your values and would deserve your loyalty. You will grow new friendships with people who deserve your friendship. These chuckle fucks are spitting in your face. You should not give a fuck because they've shown that they are beneath you, but you also should not associate with them anymore as they are shallow snakes that act like women.

Sorry you've been betrayed so much lately. You should evaluate why you seem to be surrounded by people who will discard you on a whim. I fear you may be attracted to or relate to the wrong type of people, and may experience this again in the future if you don't determine why it seems to be a common theme in your life.

BlondeHornyElf · 2020-07-22T00:10:32+00:00

You cant control who your friends see or associate with and nor should you care or try to. I have friends who hang out with people I dont like or respect but I cant give a friend an ultimatum "them or me"

While it is a kick in the guts and you will feel betrayed its not something you can control especially when these guys probably knew this girl for 8 years. Just let these guys know how you feel disrespected and keep them at an arms length for a while. Hang out with other people who will respect your feelings more if you can. I would probably feel the same way if my friends did that.

cunningcaring · 2020-07-21T16:45:37+00:00

When friends break up its better not to chose sides. It hurts one but does not help the other. In this instance you mother is very much correct. Let the ex go. She’s not part of your life. Does not matter who she is friends with.

Title	Friends hanging out with cheating ex - dropped them
Author	eatdiz135
Upvotes	148
Comments	72
Date	21 July 2020 12:49 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	askTRP
Link	https://theredarchive.com/post/716570
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/hv6rpe/friends_hanging_out_with_cheating_ex_dropped_them/